Your Source of Canon/Fanon Defilement!
Side story to Equestria Legends Online, I recommend reading that first.
The year 2020
Liverpool, England
A successful electronic music creator has heard of a revolutionary new console, the Nervegear.
However, when [megaspoiler] [spoilers] [spoiler,] he has to survive. How will he?
It's now his personal quest to find [spoiler,] and at the same time, talking smack about behind their back.
I mean, seriously? Giving to [megaspoiler]? That's a mixture for disaster. Very disaster.
Page generated in 0.126 seconds
Total duration
911 users online
1,077,018 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
In case anyone's wondering, Mister Postman looks like this:
i.imgur.com/4MaSzaO.png
Looking forward to this. I'm a Beginner fan of Sword Art Online.
Decent enough. I recommend you try not doing the insanely brief descripts that you had in the first chapter. Those work for intros but not so much real story line. Other than that and the fact that you need to increase the flow feel, its a well-rounded story.
You got a thumbs and fav from me.
5061021 Well, it was acceptable enough for Shadowflame, I wonder how he'll react when I show him 8 February with your input?
Wait what?
5066653 Yeah, these go through Shadowflame.
I know.
I've talked to him about these.
I was debating writing one.
He is going to let me.
(My writing sucks. I know this. Doesn't mean I can't try to help others)
5069891 What'll it be about?
5071408 Mine?
Three people who joined seperately are attacked by Haters and then form a group because they didn't known each other until they met during the attack and it'll go from there.
5071567 Yeah, isn't that how it always goes.
5072043 Typically but I've got a surprise twist planned if Shadow will let me use it.
5072099 Yeah, I got a few tricks up my sleeve as well.
damn you spoilers. reads part of description. reads rest. FFFFUUUUU wait what is ging to happen? rely on spoilers I do.
5184411 Chaps. up!
Meh.
5567540
Could be a LOT worse.
5568328 Of course, this chapter wasn't one of my favourites. Seemed a bit... I don't know, something.
damn it I accidentally the cover image
fuck.
I assume not receiving damage from enemies is an ability?
If you want this to stay canon, three things:
1. Nerf your guys and your enemies. There's no way Discord would raise Skelly's level to around forty, and at the point of the first boss battle, the highest level players were at LV. 16-18.
2. Put in more detail. I know to exposure of perception to detail is limited by your first person dialogue point of view, but even a storyteller can stand to add more details. This'll definitely make the story better, and I'll hopefully be able to understand all of it.
3. Skelly better not be able to go into towns/cities, because a) He's technically a monster, I'd say, b) Discord probably would've been a deuch and put this restriction I mentioned, just because he's Discord, and c) players seeing a skeleton player around would definitely be... noticed: Players might start panicking if they saw a random skeleton stroll through a supposed "safe-zone"
Other than that, good job! Can't wait for next chapter! (P.S. sorry it took so long to finally get around to reading this chapter!)