Day 2
“Negotiations” Between a Princess and a President
Chapter 2
Dante slid out of bed, stretching his back and popping it. He looked over his shoulder, to see that his wife wasn't there anymore. He wasn't that surprised, she was probably off visiting some inner city school in DC.
Pushing himself off the bed, he pulled his arms upwards, stretching the muscles in them and his back.
He rolled his neck as he went to his dresser and pulled his Rolex on, a family heirloom from his Grandfather, from his tour in the Second World War. The band was scratched to all hell, but the watch was still going strong.
He slipped his pajama pants off, and quickly slid the dress pants he had hanging on he chair on.
He continued this basic process for everything else, as he finally finished with a tie.
He opened the door and was greeted with a familiar face.
“Damnit Takenawa, what do you do? Just wait outside my room all night?” Dante growled as he was greeted by his assistant, a petite Asian women named Thereasa Takenawa . She gave a curt nod and handed Dante a cup of hot coffee.
Dante graciously took the cup as he started walking forward.
“When's my first appointment?” Dante asked.
“Not until nine, sir.” Dante brough his left wrist up to his face checking his watch. The watch read seven.
“Shit, I woke up late today. Go ahead and do anything you need to do, Takenawa, I'll be in the Office.”
A gust of wind blew through the completely closed hallway, as Dante turned around.
He stared blankly at the spot Takenawa had been at, now completely empty except for a few falling leaves that came out of nowehere.
“Fuckin' Asians.” Dante mumble to himself as he finished the small walk back to the Office.
He plopped down in the chair behind the desk as he booted up the laptop that was resting on the desktop.
He was greeted by another E-mail.
Dear Dante,
I believe we got off on the wrong foot yesterday. Allow me to give you the proposal again.
If you cede power to me of the United States, I will allow you to keep control of California.
Sincerely,
The Great and Powerful, Omnipotent, Ruler of the Day, Equestria and everything under its skies, Queen Celestia.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I'm afraid I still can not accept the proposal. And even if I could, why would I? No one wants California, I hate that state!
Now again, I ask that you do not contact about me again about this. I will not respond any further after this comment.
Sincerely,
President Dante T. McClure
Dear Dante,
I will grant you Canada as well.
Sincerely,
The Great and Powerful, Omnipotent, Ruler of the Day, Equestria and everything under its skies, Queen Celestia.
Dear Dante,
I see that you haven't responded yet, I just wanted to remind you that I sent that E-mail.
Sincerely,
The Great and Powerful, Omnipotent, Ruler of the Day, Equestria and everything under its skies, Queen Celestia.
Dear Dante,
I DEMAND THAT YOU RESPOND TO ME!
Sincerely,
The Great and Powerful, Omnipotent, Ruler of the Day, Equestria and everything under its skies, Queen Celestia.
Dear Dante,
THATS IT! I'M SENDING DISCORD AFTER YOU!
Sincerely,
The Great and Powerful, Omnipotent, Ruler of the Day, Equestria and everything under its skies, Queen Celestia.
Dante heard a crack in front of him, as he looked to the area in front of the Resolute desk and saw Discord there with a maniacal grin on his face...
Dear Mrs. Twilight,
Uh... is there any possibility you could come to the White House? We have a slight problem with a certain... Mr. Discord.
I've sent the Osprey normally used for Marine One to pick you up. Your help would be very apprpeciated.
Sincerely,
President Dante T. McClure
Dear President McClure,
Are you okay? What did he do?
Sincerely, Princess Twilight
Dear Princess Twilight,
I apologize for my title mistake in the last message, I didn't realize that you had become a princess.
I'm perfectly fine.
Discord... eh, not so much.
Sincerely,
President Dante T. McClure
Dear President McClure,
That's good to hear. I've just been picked up by the Osprey that you sent and I'm on my way there right now.
I should be there in an hour.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight
Dante stood outside the hospital door, two Secret Service agents flanking him on both sides, and his assistant Takenawa standing outside the flank.
Ten snipers were position on each building, bright red lasers visibly landing on anyone who even dared to walk within a two-hundred meter radius from Dante.
An armored Humvee thundered down the street, as people made clear for the rather distracting Red, White and Blue lights flashing atop of it and the American Anthem playing from it.
Dante leaned over to the Secret Service agent on his left. He whispered.
“Tell me whose decision it was to make Presidential Humvees like that, again.” Dante said.
The SS agent responded. “I believe it was your daughter who asked you to do it, Sir.”
“Oh, right.” Dante grumbled to himself.
The Humvee pulled up to the hospital, as an armed Marine got out from the passenger back side and walked over to the driver back side and opened the door. As a rather small, relative to the Humvee's size and height, Princess Twilight clambered out.
The Marine, as soon as the Humvee door was closed, snapped to attention, saluting.
“Sir, Princess twilight has arrived, as you have requested.” Dante returned the salute.
“At ease Marine.” Dante barked as the Marine finished has salute snapped to his resting stand.
Dante turned to the purple alicorn waiting in front of him. He held his hand out as twilight put her hoof out, their forelimbs met and they shook.
“Hello, Princess Twilight. It's nice to see you again. I hope your trip was okay.”
Twilight gave a small glance back at the Marine who was standing at rest near the Humvee, as he glanced. She thought no one had noticed it.
“It was... lovely. Any who, I believe you had something about Discord. No one got hurt, did they?” She asked.
Dante glanced around quickly.
“Er, I wouldn't say hurt, badly. Permanently. Crippling. But, uh, Smith, could you lead the Princess to the room? I need to do something real quick.” The SS agent that was standing to the right of Dante, apparently named Smith, nodded. As Twilight followed Smith, the agent to the left of Dante stayed where he was as Dante walked to the resting Marine.
Dante stopped in front of him of the Marine, as he snapped to attention again.
He gave the Marine a look that only a father could give.
“Go for it.” Was what Dante said.
“Sir, I'm sorry, Sir?”
“Don't think I didn't notice that glance. I was young once to, you know. Don't let her get away.”
“Sir, is that an order, Sir?'
“Is that an order!” Dante barked. “You're damned right it's an order, you scum sucking maggot! What do you think I am! Some pussy-footed Canadian that has to ask nicely! I am the damned President of the United States! Now get on the goddamned ground and give me some motherfuckin' push-ups until the Princess comes back out! Do you understand that, you disgusting waste of air! Your mother would be ashamed that you were the fastest one when you can't even tell the goddamned difference between an order and a request!”
“Sir, Yes, Sir!” The Marine dropped to the ground and immediately began doing Marine push-ups. Which is a mix between normal push-ups and doing a small hop with your hands while clapping them together. Very difficult to do.
Dante turned away from the Marine, walking into the hospital with his agent and assistant following close behind him.
“Smith!” Dante called from down the hall. “Go ahead and open the door. Show her.”
Smith responded in kind, pushing open the door.
Twilight gasped. On the bed lay a broken and bruised Discord. His eagle's talon forelimb in a cast, a black eye, a cast on his both of his legs, a neck brace and bandage on his head. The only thing that was free was his lion's paw. Discord groaned in pain as he heard the door open.
Dante walked up to the hospital door and calmly explained himself.
“I can assure you, Princess Twilight, this has absolutely nothing to do with the bloody, bent bat in the Oval Office, the broken window in the Oval Office, or the bloody rock laying right outside the broken window.”
Twilight's jaw dropped.
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5121960
May I ask why?
Amazing.
5125019
Why thank you.
Awesome ending and is the president you saints row the 4th guy
also !@#$ YOU CALIFORNIA IS AWESOME YOU WHAT A CRAPPY STATE TO USE USE PITS BERG
Could have used more craziness.
5125068
Dante's from Kentucky and was a Marine, it's kind of a prerequisite that he hates Commiefornia.
5125076 encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRDQvz9L1I8uqs0p9h454Qihu5fnf22J4dApmtpfd9lV50XhQeG
5125090
Ha! Dante can't be taken out by puny grenades!
He was a Marine Scout Sniper/Force recon/SEAL/The Guy That Shot Bin Laden/SAS/SBS/TF141/Ghost/GSG9/Mossad/CIA/FBI/Deadliest Man In The Military/Guy Who Made The Nuclear bomb, etc. etc.
That's his background and I'm sticking to it.
So is it supposed to be obvious that this isn't really Celestia? Because I thought it was supposed to be obvious.
I was apparently wrong...Or it was actually Discord the entire time.
5125125
oh, no. It's Celly. But not a healthy Celly.
Inb4 discord bitchy minanthropics
5125101 So basicly the saints row guy
5125128 Has she had too many Banana Daiquiris?
5125151
If only...
OMG is it molestia BEHIND the emails is that the PLOT
all bad puns aside more please
5125216
...
No.
FYI Discord is the god of chaos this is canon to the show how would a god get beat up with a baseball bat and break a window he has all the power
5125266 because it's chaotic for a God to get his ads kicked by a mortal. AND MOTHERFUCKING USA! That's why.
5125266
A.) He's not all-powerful or omnipotent.
B.) He's not invincible.
Everyone knows every state that isn't California are the best states. :P
But Nebraska is the best.
5125076
>That feeling when you're an Independant in California.
5125348
No offense intended to you, just the dictators like Feinstein,
5125355
Oh no, I know that.
It's just disheartening that all this stuff is happening in the state I was born in...
5125076
I do agree I hate the political leaning of my state.
5125404
I FEEL YOUR PAIN.
Yep, he's not hiding anything!
5125266 because humans excel at violence. Discord's forte is non violent shenanigans. chocolate milk rain and stampeding rabbits arent going to stop a Marine.
At least Commiefornia ain't Jew York, that's something to be proud of. I guess. No SAFE act here! Man I hate this state
This is the kind of silly that I enjoy from time to time.
It has to do with something much... Much... Worse.
A simulated goat.
5125266 No, he's the SPIRIT of chaos, not the god of chaos. Learn to remember seemingly insignificant, trivial facts, casul.
Assuming he did hit Discord, I think Babe Ruth cried a little in his grave.
(Read in an evil way) Excelent.
The only thing missing now are red faced DIs and knife-hands.
President McClure makes me think of President Wilson of Metal Wolf Chaos due to the sheer over-the-top nature of this story.
Placing my bets now, I reckon Trixie has managed to sneakily get into Celestia's email account.
Depending on what Discord said and did, Xenolestia might have declared war without meaning to, going by how he seems to be under her direct command.
But this is a comedy fic, I doubt it will go that far.
Sometimes, I wish Friendship is magic was made earlier in the life of the internet, so we could all read fics where Xenolestia demands all humans become ponies and the Humans' response is to send Mr. T, who picks the continent of Equestria up and throws it hellofa far into outer space.
Not quite sure why this chapter brought that idea up, though.
I want to see want to see if this story is goof
Hey, screw you too! We have, like the 8th largest economy in the world! We could split off if we wanted to!
Presidential spelling in the future.
5128901
Uh...
Gaff? Everyone makes there, it's for realism.
That was totally intentional on my part.
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111230084323/mlp/images/5/5b/Lying_Applejack_S02E01.png
5128918 A stick with a hook, or a barbed spear, for landing large fish...and everyone makes there for realism...
Hmm...this is going to take a while.
BUT I will probably take a while to Get it, cOnsidering That YOU'Re BAsing this on the faCt that I Know what you mean...
5125266 To the moooon!
5125068 Pitts burg isn't even a state. Hell, isn't even a city. Now Pittsburgh is a city, but still not a state. Plus, California is a tiny crap hole of a state anyhow. I'll stick to states that people have freedom in, thank you.
Not bad, the emails are sorta funny I guess.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPco0VJuMsU
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5126304 25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5y78vm1Al1rqfhi2o1_500.gif
5132041
EXACTLY!