Ghost Lights

by Winston

Chapter 38

Ghost Lights

Chapter 38

---

Having just gotten off the train from Ponyville to Canterlot not long ago, Azure and I were walking side by side up the gravel hoof-path that meandered to the front of Princess Twilight's palace through the lawn of the expansive grounds around it. As we started to close in on the grand entryway, there was a kind of stiffness to her steps and tension carried in her posture. It was also in her face, the way her eyes were locked forward and her jaw was set and clenched, subtle but not hard to notice after I'd grown so used to her mannerisms in our time together.

"Nervous?" I asked.

"Feels like I'm gonna barf," Azure said grimly.

"What a glorious homecoming that would be," I said.

"It's weird because I'm excited, though, at the same time," Azure said. "I miss Twilight and Captain Dash and everypony around the palace. I can't wait to see them again."

"Me too," I agreed.

"It's just kind of hard to predict how all the conversations that have to happen are going to go," Azure continued.

"You know, you can probably take things at the pace you need to with Twilight," I suggested. "You don't have to launch into everything all at once. And don't be scared. She'll understand. Things went really well with Rarity, right? That's a good sign. How much harder can this be, really?"

"I know." Azure nodded. "I didn't even do anything wrong, technically. There's nothing to fear punishment for. It's just... the possibility of disapproval that gets to me. I spent so many years trying to be the best student I could. I guess feeling like I might be a disappointment is the scariest thing I can think of."

I stopped and turned to look Azure square in the eyes. "She will never be disappointed in you," I said. "I know I'm not. You won't be alone dealing with this, either. I was there with you at the wall. For six months all we had was each other, and that means a lot. I'll do what I can to help explain this and get Princess Twilight to understand the things that happened out there if you need me to." I hugged her for a moment, then turned back toward the palace and kept walking. Azure walked next to me without any further comment, but she smiled a little more after that.

We approached the front gate of the palace. It opened before we reached it. Princess Twilight and Captain Dash walked out from inside to meet us, probably informed by the on-shift guards that we were approaching.

"Well, well, well..." Captain Dash had a huge grin on her face, even at a distance. "Look who's baaaaack!" She and Twilight rushed forward at a gallop and pinned Azure between them in a hug. Azure seemed caught by surprise for a second, but basked in it appreciatively.

Princess Twilight kissed Azure on the cheek. "I missed you so much," she said softly. "I'm so glad you're home."

"I missed you too," Azure told her. "It's good to be back."

Hugs and cuddles and greetings continued for a little while. Both of them affectionately rubbed their sides up against hers, each one draping a wing over Azure's back. While I watched them, I was struck by the sense that I was watching a family - two mothers, or maybe a mother and a mare acting as a kind of surrogate father, lovingly welcoming their filly home again. It reassured me to see them this way. It reenforced my certainty that I knew that my words were true, that Twilight would never be disappointed in Azure. No mother who loves her child this way would turn her back like that.

When they finally broke, I could see that Captain Dash's eyes were watering and tears had run down her face. This caught me by surprise. It was one of those rare heartwarming moments that reminds us that under that iron-tough fearless warrior exterior, the brave Captain of Twilight's Guard is still a pony with her soft spots just like any other.

"Rainbow? Are you actually so happy to see her that you're crying?" Princess Twilight asked with a small smile when she noticed.

"Nah... it's just..." Captain Dash scuffed at the ground with one hoof and tried to play it off like nothing. "You know..."

"Liquid pride?" Twilight asked with a knowing smile.

"Yeah, that." Rainbow Dash nodded, grinning wider than ever. "When we said goodbye, I felt I was saying it to a filly. But now you've been out there doing service for Equestria, and I'm saying welcome home to a grown mare."

"Yeah..." Azure nodded with a thoughtful look on her face. "Yeah, I guess... I kinda feel like I did do some growing up out there."

"So, how was it?" Twilight asked. "See much that was interesting?"

"Well, I learned a lot," Azure said.

"What about?" Twilight asked with interest.

"About some things that I think we need to talk about," Azure said. "All three of us." She looked at Princess Twilight and Captain Dash. They both looked at each other in brief puzzlement, and then back at her. "They're things about a feather, and a cryptography problem you once gave me, and a book I borrowed from Princess Luna, which I guess I really should return soon, now that I think about it. And most of all, it's about family. But we'll get to all that at the right time. Right now, I'd kind of like to get these saddlebags off my back and unpack and enjoy being home with both of you again. It's been kind of a long six months."

"You're telling me." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "I had to spend it trying to keep somepony from worrying constantly."

"Hey, I can't help it if I happen to care about my student," Princess Twilight said to Rainbow Dash with mock indignation. She turned back to Azure. "But yes, we'll get you settled back in."

Rainbow Dash turned to me. "Glad you're back, too, Sunburst," she said. "Your orders out to the Seawall included a leave period on return. I assume you're going to be taking that before you come back to guard duty?"

"Yes, I need to get my apartment sorted back out and take some time to visit family and stuff like that," I said. "I just wanted to see Azure back to the palace before we parted ways."

"Alright." Captain Dash nodded. "Guess we'll get you back on a shift in a couple weeks or so, then. Have fun."

"Will do." I nodded. "See you later, Azure."

"Thanks for looking out for me," Azure said. "I couldn't have done all this without you."

"No problem," I said. "Thanks for giving me a reason to see the wall again. I wouldn't have gotten that without you."

Azure walked up to me and hugged me. "Afer all these months, it's going to be weird not being around you for a while."

"I know." I hugged her back. "I'm gonna miss you, too. It's always a pretty strange readjustment process to come home after something like what we've done. It's better for us to have some time apart to do that, though, anyway, so I think this works out for the best." I leaned closer to her ear. "And besides, when I get back, I'll have something to help with what you need to explain," I said, in a whisper-quiet voice.

Azure nodded, just slightly in a concealed way, before she let go of her hug and turned back to the two waiting ponies.

Princess Twilight and Captain Dash flanked Azure as they walked in the palace. When the three of them were inside and disappeared once again behind the closing palace doors, I turned and started heading down the path back toward downtown Canterlot. I had things to take care of and my own life (such as it was for somepony who spends most of their time alone, anyway) to put back into motion after leaving it frozen in place for six months of being absent.

---

Walking through the Canterlot streets was a stark contrast to everything I'd experienced for months. The smell was different, the texture was different, roads were paved, towering buildings shot up overhead and felt like they squeezed the streets into narrow tunnels, and most important, there were other ponies. It was light traffic on a lazy afternoon of what looked like mostly leisurely shoppers with plenty of space for everypony, but somehow that still made me feel overcrowded and flightly. I expected this, though. It was all part of the readjustment process for me. I knew I just had to suppress that discomfort and bear it.

Bright Bloom's flower stand was only a few blocks away from the palace, fortunately, and I made it one of my first stops, even before I went to go get the keys to my apartment back. Her pale pink coat and deep pink mane were a familiar sight I was looking forward to again, and after a short walk it came into view from across the street. She gave me a pleasant smile illuminated in early afternoon light and a friendly wave as I walked closer.

"Well, hi there stranger," she said when I reached the front counter. "They finally let you come home?"

"Let me, made me, same difference." I shrugged. "But yes, I'm back."

"I'm guessing you're here for a certain Equestrian violet," Bright Bloom said. "She's behind the stand. Hold on a second."

Bright Bloom disappeared into the back for a moment, and then came forward again carrying a potted plant that I was very happy to see was doing very well. She set it down on the counter in front of me.

I looked at my Equestrian violet and muzzled her happily, very glad to see her and have her around me again. She was in great condition. All of the leaves were deep green, full and lush, larger than when I'd dropped her off. Obviously Bright Bloom had taken care of her with a lot of love.

"Thank you so much," I said. "I don't know what I would have done with her without your help."

"It's no trouble at all," Bright Bloom said. She grinned. "Easy, really. It's not like she's a picky eater or anything."

I kept studying my plant for another few moments while Bright Bloom stood there behind the counter, quietly waiting. I looked up and found myself staring, just for a second, into her pretty face, particularly into her light green eyes, the color of jade, that perfectly complemented the pinks of her coat and mane. Those eyes were soft and beautiful and filled with a radiating vitality that matched those of the flowers in her stand. My breath caught and my stomach felt funny for a few seconds.

I broke off my gaze suddenly, not wanting to be awkward or uncomfortable by staring too long, and looked away at her stock of roses instead. In the years I've been friends with Bright Bloom, I've learned a lot about roses and they've come to be my favorite flowers by far. It's been very interesting to learn from her over the years, bit by bit, all the different things that their colors say. She always has one that can speak to any situation.

I realized, looking back and forth at their rainbow hues, that although I've watched these dynamics from outside I'd never really applied that knowledge to my own life, alone as I've always been.

But hypothetically, I wondered... just hypothetically...

Red:

They shout about passion and overt sexual feeling in a way that's loud, strong, and unsubtle. Some ponies appreciate this boldness. I've never found it to appeal to my sense of what I'm comfortable with.

Yellow:

Platonic friendship is the statement these make, expressing wishes for good fortune and good health.

Orange:

These carry energy and enthusiasm for a cause. Sometimes they're good for refiring somepony who's feeling worn down and burned out.

White:

I find the simplicity of white roses to be very beautiful with their high and subtle expression of pure love. They can also mean mourning, in that same highly dignified way.

Lavender:

The enchantment and mystery of their purple color holds a sense of magic. They make me think of unicorns.

Pink:

Pink.

Pink...

I paused and I pondered on pink. There were a number of things pink could say. They were a little uncertain, on a middle ground somewhere between red and white. They spoke of gentleness and admiration and combined the grace of white with a hinting that maybe there was a little of the statements of red's attraction under it. In pink, maybe a pony was still searching, and maybe they felt something funny in their stomach when they looked into the eyes of a certain other pony, and maybe they were unsure of exactly what all that meant yet.

Pink could say that maybe there was something there, and maybe it had been hidden away and unstated for a while - years, even.

Maybe pink meant that they wanted to finally find out.

While I was thinking about this, Rarity's words from yesterday echoed quietly in my mind:

But that's an experience everypony should get the chance to have at least once. It may not always work the way we want it to, of course, but it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, as they say.

Hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. The first instinct was to hide it, bury it, run away from it. It always was. I couldn't, though, not after what I'd seen, not after what Azure and I had been through these last six months. It would make a lie out of all the advice about honesty I'd given her, and I couldn't do that. If anything would ever change, there had to be a time to stop being a coward and the stark reality was that right now was it. This was a new beginning, our chance for a fresh start again in the civilized world after being outside of it exploring ourselves for half a year.

I saw in this moment a decision, one that might never come as fortuitously again. I had to make all those months and all that examination of ourselves mean something. This had to happen. Otherwise... otherwise, this was all just a waste.

How could it all just mean nothing?

I cleared my throat. "Can I get a pink rose, please?" I asked. "One of those?" I pointed to a particular cultivar that had a certain shade I thought best hit the mark.

"Sure," Bright Bloom said. "Just one? Or a bouquet? Dozen, half-dozen?"

"Just one, thanks."

"Alright." She grabbed one perfect, full-petaled pink rose and set it gently on the counter for me. I paid her the bits it cost.

"Thank you." She dropped the money in her register. "Who's that for, anyway, if it's alright for me to be nosy?"

I looked at the rose sitting on the counter for a second, considering it. It was perfect, so completely perfect.

I picked up the rose and looked at her, into her green eyes, once again. "It's for you," I said. My voice was as loud as I could muster, which I was afraid was still just sort of barely audible. I offered it to her.

"Me?" Her eyes opened wide in momentary surprise. The look on her face was blank as if she didn't quite understand.

My heart was beating fast now with uncertainty and fear that I was being foolish. "I know, I know, it's probably a terrible cliche," I mumbled. "Giving a rose to a flower vendor... Actually, I'm not sure why I thought this was a good idea. It probably happens all the time and it's probably the last thing you want after you're around them all day..."

"No, it..." She started to smile a little bit, slowly. "To tell the truth, nopony's ever done this for me before. I wasn't expecting it. Not at all."

Slowly, she took the rose from me and looked at it. She seemed absorbed, lost in the multitude of its petals. "You know, it's sort of a funny thing, when you're around beautiful things all day every day," she said. "You get blinded to it in some ways. It all just becomes so ordinary. But every once in a while... when you see one of them in a new way... you remember how much they really mean. It changes the way you see something beautiful when somepony gives it to you and you realize that suddenly it's yours, not just a thing sitting there waiting for somepony else."

She went down the stem of the rose carefully and snapped off the thorns, one by one until it was smooth, then lifted the flower to her head and threaded the stem behind her ear so that it stayed lodged there and the bloom adorned her face. It went perfectly, adding an extra touch to her already beautiful visage.

"Thank you, Sunburst." She walked around from behind the counter of her stand and hugged me. "It's the most beautiful rose I've seen in a long, long time. This means a lot. I didn't even realize how much I needed it."

"You're welcome." I hugged her back. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it." She snuggled against me, resting her head on the side of my neck. Her embrace felt warm and comfortable and gave me a tingling feeling that I liked. I found that I really enjoyed holding her in a way that I hadn't quite experienced with anypony before. I kept wanting more, to stay there with her for as long as I could.

"You know, it's kind of funny how we've never really talked anywhere but right here at your flower stand," I said. "It's nice, but maybe something different might be good, too. Would you like to go get dinner together sometime?"

"Oh good Celestia." Bright Bloom sighed happily. "Finally. After all these years I thought you'd never ask. Yes. I'd love to do that."

Comments

[wolfstorm56]

Nice! This was so sweet.

[Vic Fontaine]

YES!!!! WOOHOOOO!

[Winston]

6114015

[Rayvinne]

It's about darn time!

A bunch of us have probably dreamed about this kinda situation, I know I have. There's no better feeling than when you actually go for it. Even if they say no, you gave it your best and that's what matters.

[Silver Flare]

This is where, if I had a working computer and wasn't reading all this on my phone, I'd link the YouTube clip of Twilight jumping in a circle saying 'yesyesyesyesyesyesyes!'