• Published 20th Sep 2014
  • 1,226 Views, 174 Comments

Ghost Lights - Winston



Alone together at the mysterious Seawall, on the edge of the known world, two ponies will help each other share what it means to be a pegasus, unicorn, or earth pony - and the painful wedges those things can create.

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Chapter 20

Ghost Lights

Chapter 20


The next morning I woke up early, which was sort of an uncharacteristic thing for me. It was just after dawn with the sky beginning to brighten, and Azure was still sound asleep. For a couple minutes I watched her the way I had last night, breathing in a soft calm rhythm that radiated a sense of peace.

It was a peace that I wished I felt, but I didn't.

The moonlit pallor was gone, replaced again by dawning sunlight coming through the clouds and restoring a normal sense of color to everything. The new day was fresh and the dream of the orange sky and the dreamlike sight of the ocean glowing and alive in the night seemed like just that, mere dreams, distant phantasms that vanished with the clarity that the light of day brings. Something of them still lingered, though. The sunlight, even if it brought clear vision to my eyes, couldn't wash away the haunting echo of doubt from my heart.

When I'm troubled, it's difficult for me to be around other ponies, most of all the one I feel that way about. I wanted to be alone for the time being. I knew there was only one thing that would help make me feel better and give me the 'me time' I needed to gather myself up again. Since flying is my job here, it was naturally what I'd normally be doing anyway, but today in particular I wanted to get into the air especially early, before Azure woke up.

Once more, like I had last night, I slipped out silently without disturbing her.

I took flight as soon as I was a few steps out the door, and meandered in the air south along the coast for a couple hours. As the morning progressed I could smell the scent of heavy moisture and dust and the tingle of just a hint of ozone slowly building up in the air. From long experience among the clouds, I could sense without any doubts what that meant. Rain was coming. It was just a matter of time.

The weather held out for a while, but around midmorning it finally started. It was drizzly misting for the most part, little tiny droplets not large enough to sting when they hit me as I flew through them, but sufficient to leave me wetted and cold as the water beaded up like little dewdrops and gathered in my coat. There were a few heavier bursts of rain and gusts of wind. It was nothing I couldn't handle so I toughed it out and kept flying through it. I enjoyed the challenge of a little weather, actually. It occupied me and kept my mind off anything else for a while.

At about noon I found a field with an infestation of dandelions growing thickly alongside wild grasses, so I decided to stop for lunch. Dandelion leaves have a lot of vitamin C and some other good things, on top of being softer and tastier than grass, so I enjoy them when I get the chance. Sometimes they can be a little bit bitter but these weren't bad. I washed down that meal with rainwater fresh from the sky.

Once lunch was done, I'd started to get tired of the rain and I decided I'd do something about escaping it for a while. I took off and started flying upward towards the low hanging cloud sheet responsible for the precipitation. When I reached it, I burst through and flew to the top, getting above it. I emerged into brilliant sunshine, and when I saw it I stopped rising and glided my way back down to land on the soft cloud surface.

I shook out my body and beat my wings for a moment to toss off as much of the water as I could. After I turned my body so that the sun was at my back, I sat down on the cloud and spread my wings wide to provide as much surface area as possible to catch the light and the warmth.

After a moment I realized I wasn't alone. Another rain-drenched flier had the same idea as me, not too far away. It was a huge bird, also resting for a while up on the clouds and basking in the sun with its wings spread to dry off.

I sat still and stared at it for a minute or so, while it stared right back at me just as motionlessly with round piercing yellow eyes. It was a dull mousy brown color all over, except for its yellow beak and feet and the pale tailfeathers it had. The bird had a hawklike build with the same sort of hooked beak and heavy talons and general shape of its powerful wings, but it was much too big to be any kind of mere hawk.

I almost couldn't believe it. This was an erne, one of the great white tailed sea eagles of the remote coastal wilderness.

I'd never seen anything like it before, and I'd never heard anypony else mention having seen one in person, either. I'd only read about them, and from what I could gather they were almost known more through legends and old stories than through real sightings these days.

Myths spoke of their predatory ferocity, mostly about how they would grab large fish from the ocean effortlessly, or even fight sea monsters to the death. Other darker rumors said that given the opportunity they would snatch lambs, or pets like dogs and cats - sometimes maybe even young fillies and colts. Stories like those, however, I didn't know if I believed much. In any case, I didn't feel any danger myself. The bird not far from me was very large and a little intimidating, but not so big that it would have any prayer of successfully attacking an adult pony. Maybe if it had been a full-grown griffin encountered so far outside Equestria there'd have been cause for alarm, but this wasn't quite up to that level of threat.

I was more curious instead. On a whim, I raised one forehoof and waved in greeting.

Most birds not having the power of speech, I didn't expect an answer and I didn't get one. The erne just sort of tilted its head at an odd angle, as if momentarily puzzled by my actions, without ever taking its sharp gaze off me. Otherwise, it just continued sunbathing motionlessly and silently. I put my hoof back down and did nothing more.

For maybe twenty minutes we both stayed that way, up there on the clouds enjoying our break from the rain falling below. Although it tolerated my presence at a distance, I don't think the erne was a trusting creature. Its eyes never left me for even a moment. Most wild animals are like that, though.

After a while, the erne took off and went on its way. With a few powerful flaps, it rose briefly and then dove back down through the cloud cover, disappearing from sight. I guess it had to get back to doing whatever it is that an erne does with its day. I assume it usually has something to do with hunting for fish.

I sat there thinking after I watched that eagle fly away. The hunt is a powerful call for any creature like that, a call that I felt like I could understand. I mulled over that thought a few times, and gradually became uncomfortably aware of how I couldn't help comparing it to the things I could remember feeling during the dream of the crow in the sunset orange sky. That got me right back to thinking about all my questions all over again. I still hadn't formulated any answers, not with any real clarity.

It occurred to me as I struggled with these things that this call, and whatever others it follows, are the fundamental things driving the erne to take wing. That was an important thing to remember: it doesn't fly just to fly. Flying is only a means to some other end it wants to accomplish. It flies to hunt, it flies to travel, it flies to find things.

Finding things.

Flying, I realized when I looked at it that way, was always in some form or another about finding something.

So what was Azure trying to find?

Suddenly it dawned on me, that was what I didn't know. What I knew was that Azure wanted to fly, but I hadn't yet asked why. That was the troubling missing piece to my understanding. What other end was accomplishing flight really her means to? Maybe there would be something important revealed in that. This was what I needed to know before I could possibly understand where I should be leading her.

Just by knowing what question to ask, a little bit of oppressive weight felt like it lifted suddenly off my back and brought me some relief. In my mind I silently gave thanks to the erne for the clue it had finally given me.

With that fresh new possibility in mind, combined with the realization that the day was probably at least half over at this point, I decided it was time to be heading back again. I took off and flew north with some renewed energy.


For several hours I stayed just above the clouds, trying to keep out of the rain. Eventually, as the sun got low in the sky, I knew I would need to dive back down below them so I could see the terrain to finish navigating my way home.

I descended and found it was still raining down there, the way it had been most of the day. I also still had quite a way to go, but I didn't want to get lost, so I endured the weather. When I got back, I was soaked again and it had turned dark. I shook off before I came into the barracks, but I was still dripping wet and I was cold and uncomfortable.

I came in leaving small puddles of water in my first few hoofsteps. Azure was inside, and when I walked in the doorway she looked up from what she was doing and saw that I was drenched. She grabbed a dry, warm towel in her horn's telekinetic magic and tossed it toward me. It landed draping over my head and neck and immediately started soaking up water from my wet mane.

"Thanks," I said gladly, reaching up with my hooves to rub myself with the towel and get dry.

"You were out a long time today," Azure said. "I was wondering if I should get worried, because it's been raining all day, but I decided I probably shouldn't be. I didn't think you'd let a little bit of rain stop you."

"Sure wouldn't." I shook my head as I kept toweling off. "I've flown in worse."

"My mom, on the other hoof, would scold you," Azure said. "She'd say you'll catch your death out there on a day like today."

"Well, fair enough. That sounds like the 'mom' thing to say."

"Especially a mom like mine." Azure replied.

"Unicorn?" I asked. "The fussy, fancy type?"

"You better believe it." Azure nodded. "The fussiest and fanciest."

I could have kept going, but I felt like I really didn't want to talk about ponies I didn't know and who weren't there, so I held my silence and just kept working on getting dried off. I worked the towel through my mane, down my back and sides, over my tail, and finally wiped off my legs. When I was as dry as I was going to manage with the towel, I hung it up to air-dry. I was still damp in places, but not nearly as bad now as I had been.

"Here, use this," Azure said. Her horn glowed and a small orb appeared hovering near the stone ceiling of the barracks. It looked like the kind of orb that a unicorn might conjure up to light a room at night, except this one was only glowing with a dull red color, the color of metal after it's been left in the hot coals of a fire and heated to incandescence.

"It's infrared, mostly," Azure explained. "It'll help warm you up."

It certainly seemed like it would. Even while she explained, I could already feel a faint heat building on my back and the side of my body that was facing it. I walked to position myself directly underneath it, then spread my wings to capture the warmth. After a few moments I began to feel a whole lot more comfortable.

"Feels good," I said appreciatively. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Azure said.

I gladly basked in the hot glow the orb radiated. This didn't distract me, though. With my wings spread again, much as they had been up on that cloud, my mind was brought back to the erne I'd seen there and the thing I'd thought about. I still had to find an answer. It was a little difficult to approach, though, I found. I knew what I had to ask, just not quite how to ask it. I spent a couple minutes quietly soaking in the heat while I was trying to figure that out, but ultimately nothing seemed better than the simple direct approach.

"Hey, Azure?" I finally started.

"Yeah?"

"Why exactly is it that you want to learn to fly, anyway?"

Azure Sky had a pondering look for a moment after I put forth the question. "I don't know if I really thought that much about it, actually," she said. "It's just, magic wears kinda thin on you after a while. I just wanted to try something else out for once, you know?"

"Yeah, I can understand that." I nodded. "Captain Dash did say it seemed like you were getting to be burned out. I'll bet she didn't realize this was what you had in mind, though."

"Heh..." Azure grinned. "No, I may not have quite mentioned that not being a unicorn was what I intended to try."

"Why this, specifically?" I asked. "I mean, out of anything, I'm just kinda curious why you chose flying. It seems... well, pretty non-obvious, for a unicorn. From what you said, developing that spell wasn't quick or easy, either, so I have to wonder what you're hoping to get out of it that would make you go to all the trouble."

"It's because of watching Captain Dash," Azure said. "And... well, and you, and some of the other pegasi I know. They always seem to just be... I don't know. Happy when they're flying. I just thought maybe there was something to it. I thought maybe I could try to feel that too."

"I guess flying does make me happy," I said. "But there's no one thing that's right for everypony. I thought learning magic made you happy."

"It used to," Azure said, with a little bit of a sigh. "At least I think it did."

"Is everything alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine." Azure turned away and went back to what she was doing, and didn't seem to want to talk any more about it.

I knew it was plain to see that everything was not fine and I should have pursued it, but I had no idea what to say or what else to ask. I opened my mouth briefly but not a sound came out, and Azure wasn't looking. The silence between us gradually filled the barracks with a veil that felt harder and harder to break through without being unbearably awkward, even suffocating. I shut my mouth again and gave up.

I admit with a feeling of shame now in retrospect, I ran away, like I'm prone to in situations like these, by just not saying anything. I tend to blame myself that the conversation ended there and feel like it's because I'm not brave enough, but I suppose that this time it may have actually been for the best because it was probably not one that Azure was ready to have at the time, either. I doubt it would have been productive, just hurtful.

In the end all I could do for the time being was keep teaching her to fly and hope that she found what she was looking for in it. I could only hope I was doing the right thing for her.