• Published 26th Sep 2014
  • 3,061 Views, 146 Comments

Apple Loader - shortskirtsandexplosions



Rarity gives Applejack a mechanized apple loader for saving her life. Ponyville is so doomed.

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"Okay, one question." Scootaloo skidded the wagon to a stop and looked back from her scooter. "Why the park?"

"Duh!" Sweetie Belle hopped out along with Apple Bloom. "This is the best place for a slapdown!"

"Uhhhh..." Scootaloo removed her helmet, wincing. "I think the word you're looking for is 'smackdown'."

"No... a slapdown!" Sweetie Belle smiled and reached into the wagon. "Which is my word for something that's softer than a normal brawl!"

"You say that as if you're used to getting into fights," Scootaloo said with a smirk.

"I do pretend fights with my imaginary brother all the time!"

"Ah, okay." Scootaloo blinked. "Wait. What?"

"Forgive me for bein' nosy," Apple Bloom spoke. "But how is somethin' 'soft' gonna look dangerous enough to send my big sister runnin' to help me?"

"You don't think I want you to really be in danger, do I?" Sweetie Belle said. "Nope, I learned my lesson from the sewing machines that stomped on Rarity's leg in the Boutique!" She stepped back from the wagon, pulling out a stack of bright, shiny pillows. "Tadaaaaa!"

"Oh, hey!" Apple Bloom smirked. "Yer goin' to enchant a bunch of pillows into attacking me! What a bright idea!"

"Yeah! And if we're lucky..." Sweetie Belle grinned. "...from a distance, your big sister will probably think that they're snapping turtles!"

"Unngh..." Scootaloo grimaced, shading her thin eyes from the sun's reflection off the glittery cushions. "Honestly, Sweetie Belle, could those pillow get any shinier?"

"Well, don't blame me!" Sweetie Belle frowned. "These are the diamond-dusted throw pillows from the Carousel Boutique's waiting room! They're the only ones I could get my hooves on! Rarity's got the rest of the Boutique's pillows under lock and key."

"She locks up the pillows?" Scootaloo blinked.

"That..." Apple Bloom fidgeted. "...sounds really paranoid."

Sweetie muttered, "You should see what she does to my underwear."

The other fillies exchanged blank expressions.

"Anywho!" Th-Thwap! Sweetie dropped the pillows in the middle of the park's dirt road. "This should only take a second! Apple Bloom, once I've given them the zap and they start prancing around, you start acting all scared."

"How so?"

"Scream Applejack's name. Scamper around on your hoofsies. Go... cl-climb a tree, or something. I dunno. Damsel in distress stuff."

"Oh! You mean like your sister!"

"Sure." Sweetie licked her lips. "Okay... if I-I can just remember how the Intermediate Bring to Life Spell goes..."

"How can you forget?" Scootaloo smirked. "You got grounded over it for a month!"

"Still am, actually..."

"Then what the hay are we doin' out here?"

"Getting your sister to love you again!" Sweetie Belle's face tensed. "Alright! I think I got it! Stand back!"

"Uhm... Sweetie Belle?" Scootaloo gulped. "Are you sure those pillows aren't too shiny to take this?"

"Don't be silly!" Sweetie's voice cracked. "I totally thought this through!" With a grunt, she fired a beam of magic from her tiny horn.

FLASH!

The energy promptly reflected off the glittery pillow covers, splitting up and bouncing in random directions.

P-P-P-PING!

"Oh no!" Sweetie fell back on her haunches, gasping. "I totally didn't think this through!"

"Look out!" Scootaloo wheezed.

"Duck!" Apple Bloom shoved the other two to the ground.

All around them, the spellbeams ricocheted off grass and dirt and tree bark before finally flying into several random objects. With otherworldly gurgling sounds, an aluminum trash can, three metal street lamps, a ceramic water fountain, and a wooden bench came to life.

The three fillies looked up, gasping.

Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! The malevolent park furniture tore off their foundations and marched in a circle, closing in on the helpless crusaders.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"