The First Buck's Free!
'I Hate Ponies!'
By: Scripture
Chapter 4: The First Buck's Free!
Stare
“…”
Stare
“…”
STARE
“Uh… you are just getting a mighty bit creepy now Silver…”
It wasn’t like I wanted to stare at her, but I had nothing in my expansive head at the moment to say anything. Even my friends, who didn’t entirely believe all of this was true, were cocking their eyebrows in puzzlement at my wide-eyed staring contest with the orange mare.
“Uh… Jack, you ok?” Matt waved a hoof before my eyes, his face soon following in its place.
Blinking a few times, I looked at him and gave him a weak shrug. “Well…” I stamped a hoof on the ground and made a pout face, directing it at him. “I didn’t know what else to frickin do! Jeez!”
Matt rolled his eyes and looked at the mare and her brother before us, a slight smirk playing across his face. “And who is this gal, mare, pony…” He screwed up his face a bit, trying to think of the right name but eventually gave up on the task. “HER, who is she dude?! Apparently she knows you…” He snorted a bit and smiled goofily. “Silver Jack!” Xavier snickered behind me, putting a hoof to his mouth.
I flushed a slight red color at the teasing of my two friends, but I stood back up, clearing my throat a bit. “Well, Matt Maxum-“ Matt’s jaw hung low in astonishment, his silly face immediately leaving the scene, along with most of his patience.
Xavier snickered loudly, receiving a withering look from Matt as his response, but a cruel smile from me. Xavier didn’t like that look. “-and Xtra Loud,” Now it was Matt’s turn to snicker uncontrollably, the musical unicorn eyes wide in shock.
“Oh yes, they do say he can be EXTRA loud sometimes…IN BE-”
Matt’s laughing fit was cut off by a sharp jab to the ribs via me and I smiled warmly, even though my mind was panicking at that moment. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit…
“This is Applejack and her brother, Big Mac… last night, we passed out on their orchard unknowingly and-“
I smacked Matt’s hoof, which had been inching itself closer and closer over to Applejack, who had been eyeing it the whole time with a relative disgust. Oh shitshitshitshitshit…
“ANYWAYS, she came by earlier while you were sleeping and talked to me a-and how we-“
The red hoof reappeared in front of me again, but this time it accompanied an orange-maned stallion. Matt chuckled and shook his head, turning to face me. “Jack, Jack, Jack…” He spread his hooves out wide to indicate everything around them. “This is only a cartoon! Really, what could this stupid bitch of a pony do to us? Cartoons never really hur-“
WOOSH!
CA-RACK!
WA-BAM!
“WHY YA LIL' SACK OF ROTTEN PEARS!”
…Fuck my life…
Applejack was in an absolute rage, Big Mac still dumbfounded by both the speed of her bucking hooves to Matt’s head and the fact that the Pegasus cleared easily a 50 foot distance. Xavier and myself were caught in a similar jaw-dropped expression, staring at the prone pony in the distance.
“HOW DARE YA CALL ME THEM NAMES YA DIRTY VARMINT!” Snorting like a bull, Applejack was about to charge after the beaten up pegasus but was caught midstride by Big Mac, who could barely hold the rampaging mare back. The large red stallion glared at us behind his shoulder and shouted, “Git! I can’t hold her back fer too long. Git yer rude friend over there and skedaddle!”
Half in shock still, we numbly raced over to our friend, checking up on him for a quick second. Paying attention to my biology class unlike my other two friends, I knew that the swirly eyes Matt looked at us with meant he was knocked out absolutely cold. Xavier chuckled nervously and poked an eyeball. “Wow… didn’t expect that honestly…”
Swatting his hoof away, I glared at him and grabbed one side of the pegasus. “Get the other side and come on! Applejack looks like she can go for seconds with her Bucking Head-Trauma attack...” To my miraculous wonder and relief, I could still feel Matt breathing as our sides touched. Honestly, I had thought him to be a goner after a shot like that!
Maybe there is some truth to the cartoon physics here… I shook my head, dispelling the devilish thoughts that came to my head. Later. Matt needs me now and those kind of ideas are meant for these two troublemakers…
Xavier nodded at me and grimaced, lifting his friend over his shoulder delicately. “Yeah… definitely was super effective…”
Groaning, I rolled my eyes as we headed towards and down the dusty road. “Really? Pokemon reference? RIGHT NOW?!”
The unicorn chuckled again and shrugged slightly. “Hey, at least you aren’t the unicorn…”
No, I’m the Earth Pony who has no special abilities just in case you two get yourselves in huge trouble… “That’s true I suppose…” I looked at my friend as we trudged along, hefting the rather heavy pony between us. Luckily, I myself was only a bit smaller than Big Mac, which gave me a bit more muscle than the two beside me.
Speaking of which… I noticed Xavier was thinking fairly hard as we moved along. He hasn’t been himself very much since the realization of us being ponies earlier… He hasn’t said or done much either… I sighed. “Hey, Xavier, maybe we should-“
“COME BACK HERE YA WORM BITTEN APPLE!”
“Run faster?”
“Yes, I totally agree.”
Matt wouldn’t like the new scraps and bumps on his knees, but I knew he would thank us someday for not letting him have a second concussion.
=====================
Now that pony had some big cahoonas to say that to Applejack… Big Mac mumbled inside of his mind, mentally blocking out the tirade that his older little sister was going on about. She thrashed her head, snorted her nose, and stamped on the ground a few times in frustration. What she said though, Big Mac didn’t know, or honestly didn’t care. It was all ambiance to him.
His eyes followed her as he sat on the ground, his mouth silently chewing on his piece of straw. Still, the sheer fact that the blow didn’t kill him was a miracle enough! Although he was lucky I didn’t get to him first… Mac’s brow furrowed a bit. I would have shown him much more than a single- Oh buck, she is looking at me now, back to myself!
A gentle nod in agreement with the orange mare. “Eeyup.”
“Thank ya, Big Bro! I knew I could always count on ya!”
A wide smile spread upon Big Mac’s face as stood back up. How that works everytime, I will never know…
Applejack, poised and ready, determinedly looked down the trail where the trio had gone and snorted a bit. “If I ever catch that there pegasus again in this here parts, why…” She scratched the ground a bit with her hoof and exhaled explosively.
Big Mac shook his head and placed a hoof on her shoulder, tilting his head slightly. AJ looked behind her at him and smiled slightly chuckling. “Yeah… you’re right… Maybe I should unwind a bit… Maybe I should go see Twilight ‘bout this here whole mess… Or maybe Fluttershy could help me... They always calm me down...”
Ok… I wasn’t thinking that, but whatever is good with you I suppose! “Eeeok. Behave now!” He pushed her on her way, knowing that she was right in the end. Applebuck season was going to begin soon and she was starting to get thoroughly frizzled at the thought of it. Well… hopefully she will be fine…
The cowpony laughed openly and started to trot away, yelling back at Mac. “Don’tcha worry! I’ll be good!” She smirked as she turned around, a dead set determination in her mind about one key element in what she had heard from them talking. It struck her as odd and something she never heard a pony say before…
“Just what in the hay is a ‘human’?!” She exclaimed out loud. The apple pony shivered as a terrible thought came to mind at what they could be. She needed to get to the one pony in Equestria she knew would be able to help her with her dilemma, one pony who knew more out of this world information than any other pony would know, save The Princesses…
A determined mare, she only needed to find-
An Author's Note!
:D Lol sometimes, i love cliffhangers... XD But yesh~ I made it through the great 502 and 504 Gateway Storm to bring you this new chapter!
I have no clue, but my entire flow at the moment is directed at this one story! Hopefully, i still have this flow for my other stories, but for now...
ENJOY MY PONY-STARVED MINIONS- Errrrrrrr... READERS! :P
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Somepony call a medic! Or a vet!
Second comment FTW!!!
744717 lol no fail
This story is weird and those guys are idiots....I LOVE IT
And a cliff hanger............... WHY DOES AUTHOR HATE ME!>?>?>?>/\<V>?
Yea I don't know.
744734
I was first to comment on that section of the story... so there
MY COMPUTER IS FULL OF LIESSSSSSSSSSS!!
KHA!
i am Kha, the sssssssnake man.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSKAH!!
744717 Oh wait... shit
>A determined mare, she only needed to find-
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
744981
img.ponibooru.org/images/6a/6a3fbda292d394eb7de1f4e8bd3c7ff7
745010
YOU SHALL BURN IN THE FIERY PITS OF HELL FOR YOUR CRIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
745055 I'm slightly amused by this
745076
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/133588198154.gif?1336215226
lol you have no clue how funny this is for me XD
745095 Is Matt gonna become a child molester and/or rapist?
Well I guess its filly molester
745108
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/nope_s.gif?1329152047
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-well-maybe-a-little.gif?1334139765
745134 I'm confused
or 
Not sure if I should feel like
745161
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/133578326977s.gif?1336215004
BE ENTRANCED BY THE LYRE!
Sounds like they need a medic.
Lol, Starcraft reference!
745161
And no, not rape and bad bad stuff... Matt is just a complete jerk basically
745222
Wait, really?
Did i do a reference without meaning to? 
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/rainbowawesome.gif?1318143936
Oh no, now I have to wait to find out that it’s Twilight.
745237 Then why is he trying to touch little fillies and applejack with a weird expression on his face?
This shall prove to be an interesting story.
745255
Pffffffft~ so cliche~ do you really think I would take the AVERAGE route with this story?! Pshaw~
BUT I will say this... There will be twilight, there will be the mane, there will be lots and lots of idiotic things Matt and Xavier do! And... havent thought farther than that~ maybe~
745267
He doesn't believe that anything is real still... plus, he is the weirdest one of the three
Also, cuz i thought about what you said...
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/133328216164.gif?1334139053
745270
Quite my good moustachian~
745293 I knew that from the beginning I just wanted to drag this on as long as possible
Your refrences were not lost for you see I, the master of unlocking picked them up.
Also...I didn't see enough mental collapsing.
I regret not being there for the picture war!! Great story b.t.w.
As for the other stories being slightly neglected now...
s54.radikal.ru/i145/1101/0c/737198b6542c.jpg
Lolz
745309
just lol
746074
Hehe... oh, you haven't seen ANYTHING yet~
Patience young padawan... 
746539
lol XD sorry and yeah... kinda feel bad for them too...
Abwawabwabwa! *fury mode on*
Sadist, you are sadist mister.
Heheheh. That was truly beautiful mate
.
She need to find someone? Why did Lyra immediately come to mind?
Alright, I've seen enough. Take a thumbs up mate, great work
.
"Xavier nodded at me and grimaced, lifting his friend over his shoulder delicately. “Yeah… definitely was super effective…”"
Hates ponies, and yet makes Pokemon jokes. Seems legit.
>the shear fact
"shear" and "sheer" are not the same thing
744717 a.deviantart.net/avatars/i/k/ikrplz.png
Hilarious
Good night, everypony!!
coolstorybro
Spike approves.
Oh God, I felt that bone-shattering impact.
Ever been kicked by a pony before, Matt? Now you can say you have :D.
A wide smile spread upon Big Mac’s face as stood back up. How that works everytime, I will never know…
I like how Matt is the *must touch else i won´t believe*-type of person. XD
And the buck to his head was deserved.^^
Now here´s hope that Xavier is smarter than Matt and learned to keep his mouth shut around mares. That way he will be the cool silent Unicorn musican and get all the mares while having no idea how to get them away cause he´s afraid he gets bucked the moment he opend his mouth.
Oh I just can't wait for them to meet Pinkie Pie
Or Rainbow on that matter
dude the whole Bic Mac internal dialogue was hilarious
Medic...
Lol! I got around to finally download Team Fortress 2, but have yet to boot it up and play it. Pokemon reference, well, when ever I put myself in a pony story I'll be making all kinds of references. Cause' I do that in real life. So, that seemed pretty natural to me of his friend to do, lol!
Look like Applejack has some anger management issues.
They kicked him 50 meters, and he says they DON'T have magical powers?
CONFUSINGCONFUSINGCONFUSINGCONFUSING
After reading the comments section, I completely forgot what I was gonna say, but it was a compliment.
is she going to lyra?
................. FUCKING AWSOME.... dat line
