• Member Since 16th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Sep 24th, 2015

Hardline Potato


People are like books. You can't judge them by the outside and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them.

E
Source

When Spike gets the day off, he crashes into the CMC and strikes a conversation with them. After agreeing to go to their clubhouse to talk some more, Spike finds out that the three fillies have other things planned for the little dragon, showing that they wanted to crash into him in the first place, and it's the worst possible thing he could imagine. A makeover.

And, his makeup artist is Sweetie Belle, his long-time crush.


Featured in 'Popular Stories' on 9/20

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 30 )

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: nothing more to say

It couldn't get any worse for Spike.

it was a nice story but it didn't feel like the focus of the story was on the event the title was based around. the makeover itself was only a couple paragraphs whereas the whole rest of the morning was the bulk of it. i give it zero tacos because i love tacos and you can't have any of mine, but it does get a silver star for a good try and with that good try even better results than a story i could write right now. 8.76/10 on the SCS-52 Official Story Ratings Scale.

This made me lol :rainbowlaugh:

Comment posted by Hardline Potato deleted Sep 20th, 2014

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Glad it made you guys laugh. :rainbowwild:

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Glad that it made you laugh.

5030871 love spike shipping:pinkiecrazy:

"Getting a makeover, you dumb pony."

Best line ever!

Almost hard to believe Spike just let her do that to him.

5031421

No problem!

Twilight just sat on a pillow and read the same book over and over again.

Page after page.

Twilight slowly read that book.

It was getting very boring.

Page after page after page.
:trollestia:

but like in most episodes,

This. I want to mention something about this. It's a bit too...meta for the fic. The first reference, I suppose, was funny, but making transitions like this are detracting from the fic, and take away from the immersion. We know it's a show, the characters don't. So why would Twilight be mentioning episodes?

Unless you're writing a trollfic/metafic, keep the episodic and television references out of the fic. It doesn't really work here, and it makes the ending fall flat because of it. You could use an editor's pass through the fic, and that might have caught the 'episode' references.

The idea, on the other side, is pretty silly. Coverart Spike is adorable I'll trade with you, Spike
Could have been something really funny, but it petered out at the end.

Could have been better. Cute story regardless :twilightsmile:

I'm having a hard time discerning exactly why that was funny.

He had to remind of himself that someday he will grow bigger and soon devour Twilight, but he would never do that. Besides, his stomach wouldn't digest all of her complaining.

thats all i needed.'


BTW that was not the vid i ment but whateves it still fits.

"Spike," Twilight started to say. "I know I've been giving you a hard time lately, but you know how Celestia is with her friendship letters, or it's the dungeon for both of us,

Wat?

The dragon turned his head, only for his whole body is crash into the scooter. Spike flew back, crashing hard on his back and after landing, the dragon rubbed his head in pain and opened his eyes, and saw three fillies staring at him with worried expressions. <-- Run-on sentence

Hoooh boy, quite a bit wrong with this.

After wiping some sweat off of his brow, he let out a sigh, but like in most episodes, Twilight came in and gasped in horror upon seeing Spike's face.

Just no.

So… Scootaloo's cussing :rainbowhuh:, Twilight's making a reference to the episodes (which she shouldn't even know about since she's not Pinkie Pie and does not have the power to break the fourth wall) :rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh:, and Spike's calling Twilight dumb :rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh:?

:unsuresweetie:Sweetie has a crush on me,:moustache: I have a crush on Rarity :raritystarry:& Rarity has a crush on any pony at anytime,:derpytongue2: Spike sighed "That's just messed up!":eeyup:

but you know how Celestia is with her friendship letters, or it's the dungeon for both of us, and you don't wanna know what happens in the dungeon."

...wat

He had to remind of himself that someday he will grow bigger and soon devour Twilight, but he would never do that. Besides, his stomach wouldn't digest all of her complaining.

LOL That part was funny, including the ending.

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