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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Damn it I hate cliffhangers.
treasure.diylol.com/uploads/post/image/213123/resized_professor-oak-meme-generator-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl-490ede.jpg
Bla bla bla.
While I like what you have, I do have one complaint. Throughout your chapters so far I have noticed one recurring issue when switching between characters. Without any sort of indicators to show that you have swapped to a different point of view, it can leave the reader confused. I for one had to go back and reread a sentence on occasion to understand that I wasn't looking through the eyes of the same person from the previous paragraph. A simple way to fix that would be to break up those sections with a few dashes in between. It just lets the reader know that there has been a change and with that they will generally figure out what has happened from there.
Beyond that I don't see many spelling errors that really stand out, so just keep doing what you're doing on that front. Look forward to reading more of what you have written.
Kill yourself.
(Jk)
I can totaly imagine a google translator talking from that PDA
6744656 no man you got it wrong its KYS man
She sister seemed largely unaffected, or she was simply better at hiding it.
Her sister?
Ok um what does jack actually look like?
SReally getting into this, spotted some errors for ya'.
Prob should be her
And it was a bit strange how you went from Flitter pointing out that Jack was male, then saying "its" face a bunch, then back to male pronouns. No biggie just a little weird...
Siri, act as my vocal cords.
'Could not find any results for "serious cactus pine vore"'
God dammit siri...
9341254
That was pretty good
Here is were the story really starts for me. Odd humans cant talk. Good they can bypass vocal limitation.