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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
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I can't remember but did they kill the rapist yet?
That was awesome. Love this story.
Hmmmm...we finished the darkening chapters. More fluff? Or more action? Anyway, great Christmas present! Always love saying "Jack's Back" when a new chapter pops up!
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i dont think so but if we no jack he will find her and mabe break her legs. >:)
muahahahahahaha
Aha, and by not reading the previous chapter until today, the fun was doubled! Interesting branch off of the 'verse this borrows from. It had to happen since that one's also in progress, but it really opens things up. It's nice to see Jack and Flitter getting along again, especially since there are a few loose ends they'll need to be dealing with. The execution threat threw me but it's par for the course in this 'verse, I suppose. That meeting overall was bound to be tense so it wasn't a great shock that they were both on the blunt side. Jack showed good restraint in this chapter, given the circumstances. Nice to see the trained soldier in there... even if the ax crazy side is funnier.
One thing I really liked was Jack actually admitting that humans probably have no business with nukes either. I've noticed here so many people get so high on the whole 'human tech superiority' angle that they miss that a lot of that tech is really shitty in its purpose. Hell, one could even make the argument that the reason humans are more advanced in tech than ponies (especially the humans of Jack's earth) is that ponies have been largely at peace for the last thousand years or more. Wars, killing each other better, have pushed a lot of our innovation. Peace is complicated... bombs are apparently less so. Yay?
That little downer aside, this was a fun chapter. I kept waiting for Celestia to make a passive aggressive snark about the poor nurse Jack concussed, but I guess you can't have everything. Good thing he didn't kill her, though... that would've been awkward. Couple little things: Luna says 'No, no he's not.' when Jack mentions possibly getting tortured again. Did she mean 'she' or am I missing a line in there? Also, they don't know what caused the head trauma? Interesting... what did Flitter do with Jack's .44, I wonder? And why didn't she tell them what caused the injury? The griffins have guns in this continuity, basically muskets, sure, but guns nonetheless. Jack having a better one shouldn't surprise anypony who's seen his legs, which by now should be everyone in the room and certainly Luna. So... what happened there?
Anywho thanks for the Christmas chapter, hope it was a good holiday for ya!
Best Christmas present ever ... of all time
At least he's got his priorities straight
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Not yet.
I'm not sure if it is just on my side or not, but part way through this chapter, it goes to centered. If it isn't just me, you might want to fix that.
Jack and Flitter need to get back together, that was an amazing ship.
Lol, I smell me a star treck reference here
I'm crying
7995686 The ride is only starting
Aw, come on, man. Kirk at least had the decency to cheat.
I get that Flitter is going to be higher in the skill department then some other recruits, but unless this colonel has very little to none actual experience, I don't see how she outmaneuvered him. Up to this point, he have been shown that jack is, aside from being a demo expert, a normal solider. So how does he know large scale command tactics? Unless she learned that stuff from his helmet but that is very vague and most of that type of stuff is very situation based.
I don't know, it just seems like a thing thrown to show off with little to actually help back up. Like what was the mission? How did she outmaneuver him exactly? What exactly made the mission 'Unwinnable'? Actually, I highly doubt that equestria has similar code-phrases for many things, so anything she did learn might be very awkward to relay to those that don't know it.
Eh, I am knit picking.
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The thought process behind it was that Flitter picked up tactics from Jack's videos, and applied them in the game. The colonel was hardly expecting to be facing off against someone who understood advanced tactics well, and likely relied on the superior numbers, equipment, and position he was shown to have in the chapter where the game took place.
Edit: The game was in an earlier chapter, I believe when Jack and Taven were raiding the warehouse and on the train. I'd check, but I'm on my break.
Haven't posted any errors for a few chapters,
i saw some but... I was too into the story to stop and comment, lol. Found one in this i just had to point out.
Oops.
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Thanks for pointing everything out, I'll try and get to them when I can.
Edit: Done.
Flitter OP, Plz nerf
I really love this story but I’m not gonna lie the whole amnesia development was really rushed and solved so quickly I doubt that it even needed to be there.
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It was less so Amnesia and more so waking up from a coma completely fucked out of his mind. It's less of a sole issue, and more of an additional layer to existing problems
Damn.
Just hot damn.
I’ve just started reading this from chapter 1 and I have to say, I love it. Word’s can’t really express how much I enjoy this (though I’m probably biased since this is the first FimFiction story that I’ve picked up and actually read in a good long while). I love the character dynamics between Flitter and Jack, I
hatelove the tension from the chapters before this one, I love how the conflicts made you feel a personal attachment to each of the protagonists, and god damn I’m a huge sucker for the military. The prose you make just sucks you right into the story, and you find yourself cheering for the heroes, and ruing the day the villains were ever conceived.And knowing I haven’t really scratched the surface of Jack and Flitter’s adventure makes me anxious to go on! Their dynamic has especially touched me in a very personal way, which makes seeing them pass through trials almost too stressful to keep reading on.
Dude, keep writing to your hearts content. This is some seriously good stuff you have going on here! I can’t wait to dive right back in and soak up Act Two, and all the other Acts to come! Thank you so much for just such an energizing story that has left me craving more.
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In my opinion, Act Two was the weakest of the bunch, and I rushed through it too much. I'm glad your enjoying it, and I hope you continue to!
It's only going to get worse from here on.
Damn fine temporarily happy end. Until the next chapter is read and commented on
im Bouta cuuuuuummmm