It started out as a simple day, as it always does. A nice stroll through the countryside with the one you loved the most. But it wasn't anything like that, to Twilight and Luna. Celestia know's what would have happened if they weren't in the right place at the right time. After discovering an unknown colt, Luna and Twilight vow to patch him up, help him regain his memories, and send him back from which he came. Well...That's the plan at least...
Ages are skewed, random shipping, OC's, and human-into-pony transformation
Rights and other legal junk to whoever originally created the picture
Chapters (3)
new story?
and i cant send you a pm for some reason.
I dont think its a bad start will follow
Comma not needed.
The first sentence could use en-dashes (or hyphens 'cause no one cares about the specificity of that particular punctuation except those with sticks up their asses) instead of commas but that's more a formatting choice. Just putting it out there as an option for now and in the future. Also - 'appendage'? Really? That word makes this seem like it's straining for some form of verbosity that it doesn't need. Leaf works just as well.
First sentence: Split this into two sentences at the first comma. Also, second comma not really needed. Second sentence: second comma not needed.
...
Annnd it goes on. Really, it's just comma over-use. I can't really comment on much else so far as we've just begun. You need some formatting help my friend. But I am all over these types of stories so I'll give it a go.
5147540 Yeah, I get a little comma happy.
So apparently that title is a reference to something, but, ouch, that Latin!
"Into houses about gold and of bones" is about as close as you can get to an actual translation of that. It's like they tried to translate it word by word without any understanding of how the pieces go together.
In domu auri et ossium would be correct.
Not that you need to change anything, but someone ought to let these Stone Sour blokes know.
Huh. So he went stir crazy and decided to do something about it. Can't really blame him.
when you say "colt" do you mean applebloom size? im trying to get an idea for his size and im confused
You have to finish this story
6475023 He's around the age of 16 or 17, so almost fully grown. But he has yet to receive a name, so I refer to him just as the colt.
6475023
I have to agree, when i heard the word colt I thought apple bloom size.