• Member Since 7th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 5th, 2017

Just Horsing Around


Doing it wrong, so you don't have to

E

A visiting Night Light is intrigued when his daughter mentions one of Ponyville's more unusual retailers – Quills and Sofas. Why quills? Why sofas? Why the two in combination? He can't resist the chance to investigate further and find out just how far Davenport is prepared to stretch a definition.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 53 )

Very Monty Python. :rainbowlaugh:

Ha! Melodrama seems to fit Davenport better than I would have thought. Also, that chapter pun.

I came in because of boredom.

I stayed for the witty banter. And I wasn't disappointed.

Felt like the cheese shop sketch

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You have no idea how much I toyed with the idea of having Lyra practicing bouzouki music just outside.
5002187
Thanks!
5002164
Being so specialised, I thought there was a decent chance that he'd be a bit uptight about his life's work

Sofa, So Good

...JHA, plz :fluttershysad:

although his mild lactose intolerance meant that he had learned to approach them Caerfilly.

I feel like I'm missing something, here.



So, uh, yeah. That was something.

Wat.

5002332
Seriously, of all the crimes puns in the first bit, you choose that?
Glamorgan sausages. Made with leeks and Caerphilly cheese, then rolled in breadcrumbs. Bit of a niche pun that one, I'll admit.
I have no idea how the first section happened. It began as 'Night Light sharpens a quill'
For your final point - I refer you to the author's note :facehoof:

5002369

Seriously, of all the crimes puns in the first bit, you choose that?

It's the chapter title. It was the first thing I saw.

For your final point - I refer you to the author's note

It, combined with a thumbs-up, is an accurate summation of my thoughts on the story. Make of that what you will.

5002385
I considered it fair warning for the horror to follow :pinkiehappy:
(incidentally - not seen you round these parts for a while! Did you ever get a chance to look at this? Completely understand if you've been busy and/or it's not your thing, but you expressed an interest ages ago)

Well, it appears the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Night Light is just as inquisitive about the world around him as Twilight is. Let's just pray that he never has to deal with the dreaded Pinkie Sense. :pinkiecrazy:

A charming little piece, though Twilight using her own feathers as quills felt, um, weird. I'm sure it can be rationalized in some manner (Twi's not exactly a wasteful pony), but that just threw me off a bit. Otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

5002556
I've been a mix of busy and just not reading as much. As much as I love reading, that happens after I do nothing but read for a long while. That story, however, is at the top of my list. Looking forward to spending a few hours and reading it all the way through!

I don't think your user name has ever been quite as appropriate as it is with this story.

Also, it reminded me of a character I created who I've only mentioned in passing, Davenport's sister Boxspring. She runs Mattresses and Medical Supplies.

In any case, a tremendously entertaining little tale. Thank you for it. :twilightsmile:

So Twilight's dad makes dad jokes. Film at 11?

Funny little piece.

Ah, Davenport. Good chap! I went on a sofari with him to Zebrabwe. On the way home we travelled thought Marelaysia. I came back some wonderful Rattans. He still won't speak with me. Pity.

This was pretty good; I enjoyed it.

You have to like a guy who has learned to roll with things like being turned into a cactus. Loved this version of him!

5002755
She has to get it from somewhere! Also, Twilight using her own feathers *is* weird - hence her dad's reaction - even in a place where you might tailor your quill choice to your postal preference (apparently). I can just see her scrabbling around for a quill one day and picking up one of her own discarded ones and thinking, "Hmm...."

5002910
I'm usually poking fun at something, if you dig far enough :-). Boxspring, eh... what's her opinion on Tempur foam? Caneighdian pharmacies? :pinkiecrazy:

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Thank you!

5003217
He is a little tightly-strung. Perhaps if you'd couched your request for him to stock them in more delicate terms?

5002792
I know that feeling, and I'm kinda struggling against it writing-wise. Certainly don't feel obligated if you don't feel like it, but I'd be interested to hear your thoughts if you do get around to it. :scootangel:

5007117

but I'd be interested to hear your thoughts if you do get around to it.

Are you trying to imply I'm not going to comment on every chapter? Wow.

Rude.

5007592
...I feel like the silliness went right over your head :applejackunsure:

5007117

Perhaps indeed. Although he did call me a Rattan worse. He is simply up-in-arms for any posterior conveyance that he considers insufficiently upholstered.

This is sofa king great. :trollestia:

And I will then go to the forest and chop down the tallest tree... with a herring.

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Yeah, I've smelled a few herrings like that, too. The Swede's love 'em.


5008298
Yes, he made a comment to Mrs. Cake once when he was extremely drunk about liking 'em well-padded. I think she misunderstood him - but she's got a heck of a right hook on her, I'll say that.

5029514

Awkward lad! He ruffles as many feathers as he hustles! Did you know that his first commercial slogan was "I want you on my love-seat"? The first Mrs. Davenport – who had apparently taken the slogan most seriously – had it changed upon their return from their honeymoon. Up until the day she moved out the sign above the store read "This seat is taken".

sofa, so good :rainbowlaugh: wait...I hate puns :flutterrage: good story though! :pinkiehappy:

It had even saved him and Twilight Velvet on their first date, when they were attacked by a large vegetarian sausage that had been accidentally animated by some clown experimenting with the come-to-life spell at Canterlot University. Initially, he had feared the wurst, but a few solid thrusts with the blade of his trusty Victorinhocks had settled its hash – and provided a tasty snack for later. Who would have guessed that Twilight Velvet had a slightly disturbing lust for Glamaregan sausages? In truth, he didn't mind them, although his mild lactose intolerance meant that he had learned to approach them Caerfilly.

(*groan*) :pinkiehappy:

You really were chanelling John Cleese here, weren't you?

5036216
As below, I'm baffled. The entirety of my plan for the opening part of the story was 'Night Light sharpens an old quill, leading to mention of Quills & Sofas." I have no idea how all that was the result! :rainbowhuh:

Love it. Very pythonesque and definitely clever. :twilightsmile:

I didn't even make it past the second paragraph before I had to scroll back up and upvote.

“It's a very nice feather, but... do you have something else? It feels a bit weird to be using my daughter's bodily parts to write with.”

Yeah, yeah, it's definitely weird.

Funny story.

meh

"It had even saved him and Twilight Velvet on their first date, when they were attacked by a large vegetarian sausage that had been accidentally animated by some clown experimenting with the come-to-life spell at Canterlot University. Initially, he had feared the wurst, but a few solid thrusts with the blade of his trusty Victorinhocks had settled its hash – and provided a tasty snack for later."

GET OUT:facehoof::moustache:

Wow. This is awesome:rainbowlaugh:.

I really liked Davenport's passionate rant about what quills and sofas are right and proper, and what quills are suitable for what method of postage. I am a fountain pen geek, and I can testify that we can actually be just that ridiculous. There actually are specific fountain pen ink colors you want to use to make a specific impression, and there are specific pens and nib grinds you use depending on what paper you're writing on, and there really, actually are certain chemical formulations of ink you'll want to think about if sending a letter by ground as opposed to by air.

Oh, and don't you ever talk to be about using . . . eugh, ballpoint pens, or I'll have to ask you to leave. Nasty things, they are.

In any case, looks like I'm not visiting Quills and Sofas anytime soon.

5139647
While this was written entirely off-the-cuff, it was done so with the knowledge that there are many hobbies where just this sort of thing is taken deadly seriously. Quills and Sofas has always struck me as the sort of place that must be run by a serious enthusiast in both - to the inevitable bafflement of an outsider who just doesn't get it. And while a lot of these sorts of intricate details really, honestly do make a difference, the average Joe won't understand why or how.
Kinda like fandom, in a way!

5002910
Why haven't I met her yet? :pinkiegasp:

5139647
I'd scoff, but I flip my shit every time someone spells "ridiculous" with an E, and I never, ever use shorthand grammar and spelling, not even when texting (and I expect everyone else to do the same).

5165589 o rly?


. . . sorry.:fluttershysad:

5002218
Except Davenport actually had quills to sell.

Woot! Upvoted #100!

5002161 I dunno, it has tinges of Python to me but I imagine it more Jeeves and Wooster. Just how little body language Davenport expressed really made me picture Stephen Fry in that role.:rainbowlaugh:

Sometimes my brain scares me.

I think I like your brain.

Initially, he had feared the wurst,

When there's a pun this early, you KNOW this is gonna be good!

In truth, he didn't mind them, although his mild lactose intolerance meant that he had learned to approach them Caerfilly.

Now that's just bad!

Absently, he passed the packet of quills over to her in his magic. “I think that may well qualify as the strangest experience of my life. And coming from somepony who got turned into a cactus once, that really is saying something!”

Twilight: Oh come on! That was one time! And I was a filly at the time!

5144150 Tell me, what is Davenport's view on divans

That was a fun romp in the ink well:raritywink::moustache:

Brilliant. Liked, Fav'd and put into 'Interesting One-Shots'

I think I enjoyed that more than I have any right to. Like, and a long overdue follow.

Also putting The Road to Hell on my Read Later list, since Good Intentions was such a great story. What could possibly go wrong, right?

...Well. This is all a bit unexpected!
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Thanks folks! :twilightsmile:
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Whisper it quietly, but he has one down in the basement as a homage to the early proto-sofas from which civilisation sprang. He'd deny it furiously if anypony was gauche enough to ask, however.

5695576

What could possibly go wrong

Well, just about everything, really, which is where that story came from. YMMV, results not guaranteed, beware of the leopard, etc. etc., but it's another writing experiment rather than something thrown out for a few giggles like this one. Hopefully you'll like it!

I was wondering who would make this story.

Not any more.

:rainbowlaugh:

5698245 Your name fits this story well.

Ahh, so many puns, so Monty Python-esque!

Most enjoyable - have a like and favourite. :pinkiehappy:

5002910

Also, it reminded me of a character I created who I've only mentioned in passing, Davenport's sister Boxspring. She runs Mattresses and Medical Supplies.

Mattresses and Medical Supplies? I may have to steal this one. It's certainly going on the list, along with Eakin's 'Lingerie and Refrigerators' and my own 'Ponyville Joke Shop and Military Surplus' a.k.a. 'Pranks and Tanks'.

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