• Published 1st Oct 2014
  • 6,066 Views, 481 Comments

Story Shuffle - FanOfMostEverything



Thirty-one pony one-shots inspired by thirty-one random Magic cards.

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Tomodachi Sentai Ponyranger

Twilight's thoughts raced along with her body.

Good news, her friends were out of Tirek's clutches, and she had what could very well be the Key of Magic.

Bad news, she'd kind of botched the whole "keep alicorn magic out of Tirek's hands" thing. It was worth it, especially if this worked, but in the meantime, he was very nearly a physical god. They'd beaten a physical god before... but so had he. Said physical god was running at her side, similarly disempowered.

Twilight's body tried to intrude with something about being tired. She paid it no mind. She didn't have time for exhaustion right now.

More good news, Tirek was too distracted processing the accumulated magic of four alicorns to notice the ponies and draconequus slip away before he could crush them like insects.

Twilight made a mental note to reread those books on positive thinking if she survived this. When. When she survived this. She mentally underlined the note.

At that point, they had made it to the Tree of Harmony's grotto. Twilight held Scorpan's amulet to the box and crossed her primaries. As it transformed and was pulled into place, she felt a tremendous weight lift from her withers. This was going to work. "Together!" she cried. "I think we have to do this togeth—"

"Come on, girls!" Dash was already there. Dash had already turned the Key of Loyalty. Of course.

Twilight swallowed as surreptitiously as she could. "Well, it should still work. Come on, everypony."

Five more keys turned, and the ground began to shake.


Tirek snarled and swept another devastating blast across the forest. He might have unparalleled levels of power, but he still had the same intellect that had helped him escape the inescapable. If he left an alicorn free, she could act as a rallying point for those who might think to resist his rightful rule. That could not stand. She may have slipped away for a moment, but he would find her.

A tremor brought his attention to a ruined castle. Perhaps this "Princess Twilight" had found some forgotten artifact of the older alicorns? Tirek grinned. It would no doubt be delicious.

The tremor intensified, and the sound of stone grinding on stone rose above it. Tirek's grin widened in anticipation. He imagined the look on her face as her final, desperate hope was dashed. It would be beautiful.

A dust cloud rose from the ledge on one side of the castle. Tirek nodded. The castle itself was far too obvious a target. He'd have to remember to annihilate it while the fledgling princess watched.

Then the ledge detached itself from the rest of the forest, and Tirek's grin faltered a bit. Stone and soil arranged themselves into a crude mockery of his own magnificent form, and he scowled. This was far too elaborate for some automated defense. He had somehow missed something with enough power to craft a golem this immense in a matter of seconds. What else had Discord so conveniently "forgotten" to tell him?

Instead of his own illustrious visage, the golem had some manner of staging platform. Tirek squinted. Some manner of glowing crystal and... yes. Yes, really. Princess Twilight and her precious little "friends," Discord included. Completely and totally exposed, the fools. Tirek approached the construct, firing a blast at them as he did so.

His magic struck an invisible shield, fractured into rainbows, and was drawn into the golem. A flash of light, and even from this distance, he could tell that the ponies had somehow become even more garish. Tirek snarled and charged. Hand-to-hand combat it was.

He took a pair of hind hooves to the chest and was thrown back. He hadn't expected something so large and slapdash to be so quick.

"Equestria rejects you, Tirek!" cried the princess.

Tirek rolled his eyes. Always with the speeches, these ponies. Even before his imprisonment, they never stopped talking. He opened his maw wide. He'd just suck the magic out of the cursed construct.

He drew in nothing, then took a bone-shattering punch to the jaw. "The ponies reject you!" added the unicorn.

An uppercut to the chin. "All creatures reject you!" Fluttershy, Discord's pet pony. A surprising amount of fire in that one.

A one-two from the front hooves into his solar plexus, giving him a bit of distance. "Every dang blade o' grass rejects ya!" The one in the hat. He'd be sure to burn it to ash.

As Tirek healed himself, the golem strode forward. "Together, we're going to kick your flank all the way back to Tartarus!" The rainbow one. She had spunk.

Tirek hated spunk.

He lunged forward. The golem's arms met his, their hands intertwined, and they struggled to overpower one another. For a time, they were evenly matched. Then, slowly, methodically, Tirek could feel his opponent gain the upper hand. He saw why. Rainbows were wafting into the construct from where it made contact with him. They were stealing the magic that was rightfully his!

Tirek brought his own forehooves against the golem, making it stagger back. He backpedaled even as he called up a tremendous amount of power.

"Ooh, are you giving back more magic?" The pink one. She unsettled him. There was some aspect of her that he could not touch. "Thanks!"

He sneered. "You have outmatched me, ponies, but I will have the last laugh!" The sphere of power had grown too large to be contained between his horns. It hovered above him like a fell sun. "If I cannot have this magic, then no one can! If you do not stand down, I will destroy myself. Pony magic will die with me!"

Tirek blinked. Just a blink. A fraction of a second. And when he opened his eyes again, he was face to faces with the infuriating mares. But their determination wasn't the worst. No, that went to the smug satisfaction on Discord's face. "Surprise," said the draconequus. He pointed up.

Tirek looked. The golem's hand was plunged into the orb of magic, which was roiling, hissing, and spitting. His eyes widened. "No. NO!" He tried to release it. A beam, a burst, even just recalling it into his body. It didn't heed his commands. Instead, it leeched even more power out of him. He felt himself begin to wither, even as more colors bloomed on the surface of the sphere. "You cannot do this! This is impossible!"

"Friendship and chaos, old boy!" crowed Discord.

"When all thing are in harmony," cried the princess, "nothing is impossible!"

The last dregs of Tirek's magic were yanked out of him. The gathered prismatic energy, now an amorphous blob, wobbled around the golem's arm. It stuck the limb into the sky, and a shockwave spread as far as the eye could see.


After all ponies' magic was restored, the golem walked to the edge of Ponyville, sat, and would move no more. For reasons she would never be able to explain, Twilight felt oddly disappointed.

Meanwhile, Rarity felt a similarly inexplicable sense of gratitude towards Rainbow Dash.

Author's Note:

There are a lot of creatures in the Everfree. Also, writing from Tirek's perspective was a very interesting experience.

You don't want to know what would've happened if the Key of Laughter had been turned first.