The world wasn't always like this, rather you believe it or not, there was a time. A time when you got help, when you weren't shoot at and killing wasn't an everyday thing. Now all that's changed for the worse ...but what lead up to this, how did it start? Well, I can tell you ...because I was there, I saw the world get swallowed up in balefire and radiation.
From one world, to another. I was taken out of the frying pan and thrown straight into the fire. The thing was that back then, I didn't even know it, until it was too late.
Looks like we made it to the second part, that means a new theme song~!
Chapters (13)
First off, you are an awesome writer. Second off , I've been going on a fallout 3 binge for the past month and this fills me with glee! I can't wait to whats next! Keep up the good work!
Hey there. My absolute favorite sub-genre of fanfiction is Fallout: Equestria. In my opinion, Fallout and ponies go together better than peanut butter and chocolate. And that's coming from a guy who really enjoys his Reece's.
As much as I totally dig it, a lot of people don't. And I have come to the conclusion about why people don't dig it. Fallout: Equestria fics (besides the well-known ones) are generally mass-produced at a very, very swift pace. Heck, I'd bet there are more FoE fics than any other sub-genre of MLP fic out there. When people decide to make them, they really want their fic to be the new Project Horizons. But sadly, that is almost never the case. Authors of FoE stories generally don't put any work into their fics. The thing that made the staple stories leave their mark was their depth and complexity, their ability to make us sympathize with their real-feeling characters. We were blue when they were feeling blue, we were happy when they caught a break, and we bawled our eyes out when their longtime companions met their ends. (R.I.P. Steelhooves, you will always be my husbando)
But sadly, there are only a few fics that do that, and the rest try half-heartedly to imitate them. Instead of ending up with a deep story, filled with heart and emotion, you end up with a soulless husk that sits on top of the pile along with the rest of all the other un-read FoE side-stories.
In-short, hastily written FoE side-stories have almost completely over-saturated the genre, leaving people with a bad taste in their mouths, not wanting to be forsaken again by another bad fic. This causes the generalization that all FoE side-stories are emotionless trash that somebody whipped up trying to look as edgy and dark as they possibly could.
As much as I don't like that generalization, it is becoming more and more true. This fic is another shining example of a mediocre 'Ponies in Fallout' story. They try to make their character as BadassMcCoolname as they possibly can, and forget to add in any of the substance that made the popular fics great.
I want FoE fics to live on. I want each and every one to be brilliant, depthy stories about wasteland life.
With that said, I offer my services as an editor to you. I want to take action to make FoE a genre that people are actually happy to see pop up on the 'Recently Added' section.
If I could give any parting advice, it would be to draft and proofread. Proofread. Proofread. Proofread. I don't want to see him call is nine-millimeter a 'nine-milometer' ever again. (Your description also has a ton of errors in it, might wanna get that checked out as soon as you can; It's a first impression) As always, work hard, and keep writing.
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. Anyway, I be one to say that I'm not the best writer, I still working on my skills and such as we speak, it's hard work, but I try. Thing is, making my character ''Badass'' never really crossed my mind, that's never what I aim for in my stories. I want my characters to be believable and liked, enjoyable to read.
Wow ...thanks for the heads up! I had no idea I spell millimeter, milometer! Ha, silly me
I also wanted to try something new, something that many in the FOE sub-fandom never tried, starting from the beginning, before the wasteland, with my own twist so it wouldn't be exactly the same like Kkat's amazing story, which I'm not even done, yet
and won't be for a while.
Interesting...
Consider yourself lucky, a lot of FoE fics have been put into what I am dubbing, "Hate Groups," (groups dedicated to saying, "This story sucks because I say so!") lately.
Trust me, I hope it doesn't happen to you, but if you see it happening to yourself or anyone just alert myself or someone else, we'll do all we can to help you.
Don't worry, you have literally thousands backing you up, you'll do just fine.
5015653 You sir deserve a clap for saying that glade some people don't believe in hating a story just because of a certain crossover it chose to do.
Steven kid going to the school in Crescent Moon canyon? wow life is a bitch ain't it
5015653
! I just hope I don't buck up, but if I do, don't be afraid to let me know! I really want this story to go far.
Yeah, thanks dude, reading this really makes me try even harder
Oh well... We all know how this ends.
Keep up the good work.
She became a ghoul?
Fucking called it!!!
hope she makes it
Cool, good chapter, glad to see an update.
Wait... Is he a ghoul?
Now also featured on http://falloutequestria.wikia.com.
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Where? I couldn't find it.
5110501 worse... she found the Harlem shake...
Love it! I love war stories! Especially epic ones!!!
Well, that was cute! Oh, and you have ?'s in the wrong places sometimes, and this:
was that "can't" supposed to be can?
No offense, but you really need an editor
I'm sorry, never the train?
goes, not gos... Ahghghghghghg!!!!!
5278954 Well shit...
Really sorry, if I'm nit picking, but:
Should be I wanted to name her
Ok, now I Really nitpicking, but talk should be capitalized
Granny Smith ANDApplejack's
Now I'm just being a dick
Oh, and drunk Steven
FIRST CHAPTER 5 comment!!
Should be "here"
Helped
I couldn't figure out what to type, so I typed this:
NICE JOB BITCH!!! YOU MADE US LOVE A LITTLE FUCKING FILLY!!! A FUCKING FILLY!!! AND THEN YOU WENT WITH YOUR DOUCHEBAG INSTEAD OF YOU GUT, AND KILLED HER!!!
Sorry if you could read that. No harmful intentions.
5286815
Wow, I had no idea there were still so many mistakes, even when I tried to spot them all
~! Damn it, this just means I have to try harder, one of my dreams in life is to be a writer, and everything you've pointed out helps me get closer to that goal. And no, you're not a dick for pointing out my mistakes, in fact, I thank you for doing so
. Embrace the faults and fix them. That's just how I roll~!
Good to see this isn't dead.
Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)
First thing that comes to mind about the prosthetic eye:
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/mkwikia/images/e/ea/MKX_Kano_Render1.png/revision/latest?cb=20150311233035
This mofo.
guess this is dead then oh well it was really good but our real lifes do matter as well i really want to write my own fic but school work assessments dont have time
*I sighed.. Solemnly.. Laying the corpse of the story in a proton torpedo capsule and locking closed... Me, along with other readers watched the torpedo exit the enterprise.. And fall into the slowly forming planet genesis..*