The Jokes On Us

by Twisted Visions

Prologue

Paperwork, Paperwork, Paperwork... Was this really what her life had become? Celestia sat at her desk and flipped through the various papers, containing Ambassador meetings, treaties, Noble Requests and other such boring things. She remembered a time where everything was much simpler, easier to understand. Now everything was about money and looking good. Celestia couldn't even walk around the palace anymore without someone asking her for something, be it a raise, a blessing, approval for this approval for that. Over the last century or so her little ponies had become less and less intent with what they had, and more focused on what they didn't have. Food on the table and a roof over your head didn't suit ponies anymore, and she could see that it was slowly starting to grind on the stability of the populace.

Crime was the biggest thing she had to worry about now. The rich were getting more and more money, while the poor were getting poorer and poorer every day. She had tried numerous times to tax the richer nobles so that she could provide more for those who could not provide for themselves, but they always managed to find a way around her legislation. She could simply just take their money, but that would just make her look like a tyrant and Faust new that the Nobles would twist her actions into evil. The poor were getting desperate, but thankfully nothing too serious had happened yet. That was until there was a knock on her door.

She got up and slowly strode to the door, opening it to see a guard. As common as this was, something about the air made it feel that there was something more to this. "Yes? I am a little busy at the moment, so do try to make this quick" The goddess asked politely.

The guard nodded and handed her a letter. "This came from the downtown guard post Your Majesty. They were very adamant on it being seen by you immediately" He finished. Celestia just sighed and smiled. "Thank you, I shall give it the highest priority I can muster" She finished before softly closing the door.

She walked back to her desk, holding the letter in her hand as she pondered it's contents curiously. She broke the wax seal and slowly read down the letter. Her look slowly went from curious to concerned. Attached was a Guards incident report which made her go from worried to shocked in but a few minutes. Dropping everything she turned to the door and quickly left.

---

Celestia hurried into the Down Town Guard Post in a Panic. How? Who? What had happened to cause this! She approached the front desk in a hurry. "I need to speak with Sargent Barrier immediately. I don't care what he is doing or where he is I need him here as fast as the wind can carry him" She said very snappishly. This was out of character for the princess, but one does not hear of this every day. The Guard at the desk didn't even have time to speak before he quite literally bolted from the desk into the back, knocking his chair over as he did so.

The tall white princess paced back and forth, citizens trying not to look directly at her. She should have just walked into the back, but this was the guards stations and she would not impose herself on them more than she was already. They did have a job to do after all. After some time a tall White Pegasi walked from the back and approached her, stopping and giving her a crisp Salute. "Your Majesty! My name is Sargent Barrier! You wished to speak with me?" He asked, more rhetorically than literally.

"At ease guard, I just need to speak with you about the incident in Canterlot park with the adolescent? Please explain to me what happened with as much detail you can muster" She asked calmly, not wanting to put any pressure on the Stallion.

"As you wish your Majesty" He nodded, his stance relaxing slightly but nothing else. "But Perhaps we should take this into my office. We are still trying to keep the incident as isolated as possible" He said, opening the door into the back office area and waiting for her.

Celestia nodded and quickly walked through the door. The Sergeants office was not hard to find, and she more or less lead him there before entering the room. She finally allowed her concern to be shown, standing next to the door and biting one of her fingers with crossed arms. "I don't need a seat, please, just tell me what happened" She said before the Stallion even had a chance to offer.

"Of course Your Majesty. I was a little shocked about it myself when I saw what was going on. At first I thought it was just a fight. They had been getting more common over the last little while so as usual I went to go break it up. This was however till I saw one of the stallions face. He seemed to be bleeding from every orifice on his face and had a wild look in his eye. He was in a struggle with a citizen but before I could stop him he..." The Sergeant started before dying out. Celestia was patient, lowering her arms and giving him a more positive look. "The younger stallion tore the victims throat out, then turned to face me. Knowing my duty I subdued him, but not without injury to the assailant. Afterwards I sent him with a guard escort to Canterlot General and ordered a troop to come and collect the body. I quarantined the area and made sure no one was able to see what had taken place" He finished.

Celestia shook, looking side to side to see if there was anything she could think of that would cause this other than the already current distress on the citizens. She had to find out for herself... Which meant she had to talk to the Stallion herself. "Canterlot General you say? I need to pay this stallion a visit. If what you said was all true, I need to know what caused this so I can stop it" She said, opening the door. "Thank you Sergeant, and by all means take the rest of the day off. Few days even if you need it" She said before walking out and teleporting away.

---

The hospital was a flurry as it always was, but Celestia did not take long to find where she wanted to go. With the help of a friendly nurse she was directed to a room with several guards out front. A little over kill but this had never happened before. She stepped into the room and stood off to the side for a few minutes as the doctors continued their work. After a while she finally worked up enough courage to ask everyone to leave.

Once the room was cleared, Celestia approached the young stallion with a sad look. "No more than a teenager... And your life is already ruined" She sighed. The your stallion opened his eyes and locked onto hers with... a look she had never seen in a ponies eyes before. Her fought the restraints, but the doctors had assured her that he would be unable to get out so she did not feel the need to move. "What has happened to you?" She asked. All she got in return was an angry snarl and the young Stallion trying to throw himself at her in a horrible rage. Before she could do much else though, the boys eyes went from anger and hunger... to utter pain. The boy gurgled at something, arching his back and continuing the struggle.

"Nurse! I think something is wro..." She started before a sick wet pop exploded from the room and she was suddenly soaked in a hot fluid. She stood there in shock, covered in blood before she had the courage to look at the boy. The Nurses who came in were so shocked by the scene they quickly ran out, but Celestia remained by some sick sense of curiosity. The boys chest had literally exploded, and his insides were filled with what looked like... Pollen?

Before she could examine this any further she was being looked over by doctors, as two stronger stomached nurses took the boy out of the room covered in a blanket and started to clean the walls. She allowed the doctors to do their work, and sat there thinking quite hard on what happened. The boy was sick that's for sure... The doctors were paranoid, injecting her with every antibiotic they could think of that wouldn't kill her. Anything to keep her safe from whatever ailed this poor colt.

An hour or so past, and soon the Doctors thought her well enough to be sent back to the castle under the watchful eyes of the Castle medical staff, and she was picked up by the castle guard and she went directly to her room. Her peace would not last however, as a disgruntled Luna quickly appeared in her room.

"Sister! I arrived as soon as I heard!" the dark Alicorn started but Celestia just waved a hand.

"Luna dear... Please... I have spent all day being asked if I am alright. I just want to sit down and relax. Would you like some tea?" She asked, sending a guard to the kitchens and sitting down at a table. Luna sat across from her and they sat in an awkward silence until Celestia finally sighed.

"I am fine sister. The doctors ran more than enough tests to see if I was ok, and to my knowledge they are still running tests." She finished. "Are you happy now?" She asked. Luna didn't say a word, but continued to stare at her. Celestia furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Is something wrong?" She asked, getting a little worried. Luna seemed to be trying to respond but unable to, stuttering over what she was trying to say with a strained face. Celestias heart started to beat faster and faster, watching her sister struggle. "Luna! Please say something!" She said in a concerned tone.

Luna finally managed to get the words out. "Your face sister..." She started.

Ceestia was confused with that statement and looked at the mirror. She froze, staring at her reflection with an unmoving gaze. Blood... Her face was covered in blood... From her eyes, ears, nose, and now it was trickling out of her mouth. "Luna..." She started before everything went black.

Comments

[AkemiTheSunbro]

Zambies? I'm down!

[Twisted Visions]

4999952 Not quite, but I guess close enough :P

[AkemiTheSunbro]

4999955

[Biker_Dash]

This fic has me intrigued. I look forward to seeing where you take this.

[Twisted Visions]

5000612 I did garner the idea of a plant based infection from the last of us, but I hope I have some things that make it different and interesting in it's own accord

[Commissar Derpy Hooves]

Fungus zambies hmm? Then i have no other choice, *Imperial fleet hangs in low orbit over equestria* We have arrived to preform our charge. In fealty to the god emperor our undying lord and by the grace of the golden throne I hereby sentence the Imperial world equestria to exterminatus, i sign the death warrant of an entire world and confine a billion souls to oblivion, may imperial justice account in all balance. The emperor protects. *Begins exterminatus*

Its human nature to seek culpability in times of tragedy, Its seen better to shake ones fist at fate, rather then to bow ones head and succumb. Their are those who will blame the sword that felled equestria, The ordo Malleous. But the inquisition merely preforms the duty's of its office to further fear them redundant to hate them heretical. Those more sensible will find blame with those who forced the inquisitions hands, May they use their hate and fashion it into purpose and further control their own destiny by coming to the emperors service, Yet ultimately it was i who sent this chain into motion, with a single blow from my hammer godsplitter. *Fires cyclonic missile which destroys planet*

[Darkraiprincess]

This is gonna be good!

[Vibrant lies]

You need an editor to comb through this story, but it’s interesting