Chapter 9: Make a Badass Out of You
Today was turning out to be a great day. Earlier this morning, I spotted Blueblood acting nicer towards his servants, I got to play Portal 2 with Luna, and Tia invited me to attend court with her. She’d finally given the announcement about me yesterday, so now I was more free to drop in on some more public things and be a dork as usual.
I also made friends with Fancy Pants a couple days back. He and his wife Fleur are pretty nice ponies, all things considered. I got to learn a bit of french from them, but I don’t think I’ll be learning the whole friggin language. Learning spanish back in high school was already enough of a hastle. Besides, I’d rather learn japanese so I can actually read my hentai and sex games. I’m still working on building the initiative to do that.
I was a bit pissed, after the day at Court, but it was a good kind of frustration I welcomed. After all, I finally got to feel important. I got satisfaction at being able to mindfuck a few of the bigoted nobles though. I also made them realise how much of an idiot they were being without ever saying anything of the like. That made even Luna and Celestia smile, and some of the guards smirked in something like pride as some of those nobles walked out, beating themselves up for being so stupid. All I had to do was ask them to answer a few simple questions. For instance:
“And that is why it would be a good idea to spend part of the royal funds for my family’s sake.” One noble said, sounding pretty proud of the shit demonstration he’d presented. I rolled my eyes, but kept a pretty good pokerface.
“I can see your points, Jade, but would you mind telling me how you expect to pay back the debt? From what I can see, your plan won’t generate any income at all.” I asked. “I know commoner ponies with better plans than that.”
“I… I uh… Hmm… That is a rather strong oversight… I suppose I may have to reevaluate my plan. Thank you, Princess.” He bowed and folded away his presentation.
“I’d recommend collaborating with a member of the Apple Family, or Filthy Rich. Those ponies are rather proficient at planning around these kinds of issues.” I recommended as he left. However, before he left, I turned to Celestia and grinned. She grinned back, ever so slightly, and together, we both spoke.
“Have a good day.” We said in the creepiest way possible. I reveled at the sight of his spine shivering as he disappeared around the corner. Yeah, that was a new thing Tia and I started doing. It was fun as hell, too.
In other news, My new boyfriend Switch apparently discovered my stash of Hentai. I knew it was him because I saw him walking away from my new room with a blush and erection. And I checked my file history. He knows too much. Now, I must either initiate him into my circle of clop, or destroy him. I’m hoping for the former.
A knock came from my door after I cleaned the sticky mess Switch left behind in his mad rush to hide that he clopped to my hentai. My guard Solid was there.
“Hey, Celly. There’s a filly that wanted to see you. She’s waiting with her mom down by the castle gates.” he informed me. I smiled in excitement. I’ve been waiting for this.
“Alright, would you mind showing me the way?” I requested as I grabbed my laptop. “Feel free to stick with us. We’re gonna be getting down to some true badassery.”
“As nice as that would be, there’s other things I gotta do. I’m still on duty. I’ll bring you to them but then I gotta get back to my post.” he said as he lead me to the little changeling I’ve been expecting. True to his word, Scootaloo was right out there with an older mare. I recognised the older pony though. She was highly unmistakeable. It was freakin Spitfire. I dropped my jaw.
“Holy raptor jesus, you’re Scootaloo’s mom!?” I exclaimed, shocked. Spitfire blinked. She looked pretty confused that I was so shocked, but scoots pitched in and saved my flank.
“Mom, this is the copy. The one from another world that Discord brought here.” she explained. Spitfire dropped her jaw in turn.
“Holy blazing Buck, you mean my lieutenants weren’t just kidding around?!” she asked, about as shocked with me as I was with her. I regained my composure after a second.
“Well then. Nice to meet you, I guess. I hope this doesn’t sound stalker-ish, but I’m a good fan of yours. Er, not so much I’d lose my shi- I mean mind like a certain polychromatic pegasus, but big enough.” I greeted her, earning a giggle from both of the fliers in front of me. After another moment, I realized I should probably introduce myself. “Um… My name’s James Solaris, but you can call me Celly.” I said, holding out my hoof.
“Spitfire. But you already knew that.” she took my hoof and gave it a firm shake. I shook back just as firmly. “Now uh… what was with that “holly raptor jesus” thing? Never heard anypony say something like that before.”
“Erm… don’t worry about it. It’s just one of the more child friendly expletives my world’s people use.” I explained it away. “Now, I’m just about ready to start training Scootaloo in total badassery. You wanna stay, or do you have somewhere to be?”
“I’ve got some recruits to train and evaluate, but I’ll be back later to pick her up.” Spits said, before taking wing. “See ya. Don’t let her blow anything up!”
“What, wha-” I started asking, but Scootaloo cut me off.
“Don't ask. You do not want to know.”she said with intensity.
“Pretty sure I do. After all, I’ve heard of someone riding a shark onto a shore and just as randomly grabbing his backpack from inside of said shark. And then the shark exploded.”
“Wow, really?” Scoots fell for it.
“No, but I honestly would laugh my plot off if it did happen. Though there is the strange occurrence in my world of people stealing a certain mile marker sign from the highway. And not even that, I heard there was a town in my world named Fucking.”
“That’s… strangely not that surprising. This world’s got a city called Bucking.” she replied. I chuckled, and turned around.
“Alright, come with me. There’s a sparring ring in the Gardens, we can use it to make sure you don’t do any permanent damage to the environment.” I suggested as I lead the way.
“Wait, you’re gonna fight me?” Scoots asked as she followed, sounding scared.
“Pft. No. Do you even realize how unfair that would be?” I retorted. “I’m a friggin Alicorn. I’m not just going to fight a child. Even if some of the things I’m gonna teach you could totally kick my flank if you used them right.”
We arrived at the sparring ring quickly, and I stepped in with Scootaloo. I got my laptop from my bag, and opened it up to YouTube. “Alright, the first guy I’m gonna show you is pretty badass.” I typed in the search for the Fenrir fight from Metal Gear Rising Revengeance. “I want you to pay more attention to the metal wolf than the human cyborg, alright? The Bladewolf’s the one I want you to learn from.”
She nodded as I began the video. She watched with awe and focus as the video played, keeping her eye on the boss anytime she could. Now, the video I picked was not one of those super-practiced, overpowered, s-rank guides to taking out the wolf. Instead, I chose a blind let’s play that played out someone’s first encounter with the Bladewolf, because I wanted to show Scoots just how much butt this form could kick. Turns out, the search for a video with the Bladewolf kicking butt was harder to find than I thought. Still found it though. Eventually, the player finally beat the boss and moved on. I cut the video off there, but then I noticed something new among the video selections.
“Holy… There’s a Bladewolf DLC for the game now?! HELL YES!” I clicked over to the new video, and watched it excitedly. Not spoiling anything for those of you who haven’t seen it, but to put it short, I was blown away.
“So, think you can copy that?” I asked when the DLC videoes ended. She nodded with a wide grin and stepped back to focus. It took a few minutes, and she did change a few time, usually getting it wrong in some way, but I helped her and she finally got it.
The form was a near flawless copy. The metal plating her skin was now served as better armor than her chitin, and any sort of blow to the metal armor was dulled by the material. The pain felt by such a blow was also dimmed. No, I didn’t hit her full force. I only gave her a light punch, like a sort of friendly shove you’d give a friend for making fun of something you did. She only barely felt it, and didn’t stagger or move in the least.
“Alright, now let’s test out the chainsaw. That’ll be your stronger weapon in this form.” I said, getting fully into my role as an instructor. Scootaloo replied in an exact copy of the Bladewolf’s voice.
“You got it.” she said with a nod. The chainsaw on her now long tail revved up and she whipped it around and tore into the ground in front of her, just like the boss in his introduction scene. It was intimidating as hell, and I know I would’ve shit my pants had I seen this when I was still human. Instead, I just grinned at the sight of the damage being done. I felt a little itching in the back of my mind, but I could only guess that just meant Scoots was more actively feeding on my inner fangirling to help maintain that form. After all, it sure as hell should take up a lot more energy.
“That’s perfect. Now, let’s try out some agility. That’ll be the other thing you gotta rely on in this form. Jump onto the castle wall, run along it a couple paces, then jump at me.” I instructed. Once again, she answered with the Bladewolf’s monotone and nodded.
“No sweat.” She turned to the wall, her chainsaw tail flicking idly behind her as she coiled up and threw herself forward. I noticed the red glimmer of light come from her before she jumped though, meaning she also had that little indicator of attack flaw all of Metal Gear Rising’s enemies had. We’d have to work on that. The glow seemed to shine just a bit brighter as she blitzed across the wall, before jumping back off of it straight for me. I hopped back a bit to avoid a collision, and she landed, creating massive cracks in the ground where she landed. Wow, that landing would have left me with at least a few broken ribs if I’d been hit with it. Glad I avoided it.
“That was just plain awesome. Alright, you can drop this form now. I know it’s taking a lot of power to maintain.” I told her. Her shoulders slumped as she dropped the disguise, looking thoroughly relieved.
“Phew. That really did take a lot outta me. How’d you know?” she asked. I chuckled before I gave my answer.
“Well, for one thing, I know you don’t naturally have the agility, chainsaw and prehensile tail the Bladewolf does. That, and you altered your size, weight and density. All of that put together had to have had a bigger drain on you than simply being a pony. I also felt you draining me for the extra energy you needed to maintain that form.” I explained.
“Oh, yeah… I guess it is kinda obvious. I’m probably not gonna be all that good at maintaining it until I get bigger. Still, it oughta help out pretty well in a tough fight.” she resumed the subject on her own initiative. Heh. Didn’t think the squirt had it in her.
“Yeah, that’s right. Hey, I’ve got a couple more you could probably use better. They’re closer to being ponies than most powerful forms I know.” I said, returning to my laptop. I put in the next search for two very specific Pokemon. Rapidash, and Zebstrika. I didn’t go into too much detail about the two, but I included the kinds of attacks they could use and talked a bit about their affinities; Rapidash’s being fire, and Zebstrika’s being electricity and speed. Scootaloo was pretty eager to try out Zebstrika’s form. After all, she liked being fast.
As she changed, the green flames that consumed her form and replaced it seemed to remain as green lightning around her form. “Whoa… I feel like I could run forever! Is this what being an Earth Pony feels like?” she marveled. I giggled, not really knowing the true answer to that.
“Go on, give it a test. Try and run a bit through the maze, I’ll keep an eye on you from above.” I encouraged her. She grinned and galloped off into the labyrinth of leaves. I smiled, flying up above her and keeping pace. I laughed as she dashed past a few known dicks among the nobles, kicking up dust, scaring them, and making them cough like they just took a whiff of the dead. I decided to play a prank with them after that. I flew down and put on an urgent facade.
“Are you alright, my little ponies?” I asked, trying to sound really worried. Inside, I was really trying hard not to laugh. “None of you were electrocuted, were you?”
“Nothing that serious, Princess, but it’ll take at least a few minutes to get the dust off my suit.” I heard one of them say as the dust cleared. I froze with a forced frown on my face when the dust cleared. It was a real test of my will not to fall apart laughing as I looked them all over. There was Jade, Filthy Rich, and best of all, Blueblood. And all of their fur and their manes were sticking up in the air, with electricity arcing between them. None of them had burns, but they looked pretty ridiculous.
“What? Is there something on my face?” Rich asked, feeling his face obliviously. I clenched my teeth, trying to not laugh. I failed.
“Pffft HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” I started rolling on the floor, my legs weak from laughing so hard. It didn’t help that the Benny Hill theme started playing in my head to fit the situation. They all looked like miniature Fluffle Puffs! I heard a trio of screaming, and had to look up to see their faces. It was priceless. Blueblood’s especially, since it was red with rage and embarrassment.
“Just bucking great… I should have known you’d have something to do with this, Celly. You never fail to catch me with one of your bad jokes.” he muttered. I just laughed on.
I caught up with Scoots later, after dealing with the nobles. They wouldn’t let me go without answering a few questions. Namely if I was going to do anything about their situation, (“Yes.”) What I would do, (“Give you advice.”) and what advice I had to give them. (“Touch each other.”) My answer to that last one caused some confusion and revulsion. I wonder why?
Shameless innuendoes aside, Scootaloo found being Zebstrika much easier than being a Bladewolf. That showed from the fact that she hadn’t stopped running and even smiled widely as she ran. She wasn’t out of breath, even from shouting out her excitement to the wind she practically ripped through. I had a bit of trouble trying to keep up without breaking the sound barrier, she was going so fast. Okay, maybe I was just exaggerating. Maybe I was just trying to act like I had a hard time keeping up just to give her the feeling of being faster than a princess. Or maybe I’m just kind of having fun being obscure with you guys. Either way, I lagged behind her a bit as she ran, and it kind of scared me when she ended up starting a Volt Tackle somehow. I mean, that move was a double edged sword, damaging both the user and the target. Thankfully, when I got her to stop, she wasn’t hurt.
“That felt like I had a bunch of needles dancing over my skin.” Scoots told me after managing to calm me down. “Look, maybe it wasn’t this Volt Tackle thing. Can this Pokemon even use it? You said different Pokemon might not be able to use all of the same moves.” She did raise a good point, so I did a bit of research. Apparently, Zebstrika can’t learn Volt Tackle, but there’s another one it can use. Wild Charge. It’s apparently a watered down version of Volt Tackle.
“Huh. Never knew about that one. Guess I’m not as big of a fan as I thought I was.” I muttered, a little disappointed in myself. I could understand if plenty of others were disappointed in me too.
“Hey, it’s alright, Celly. Sometimes the world just throws little curveballs like that at you. No point in dwelling on it though.” Scoots said. I blinked in surprise.
“That’s… shockingly mature of you, Scootaloo.” I stated. She shrugged.
“Maybe it’s the body. It’s making me feel really… different.” she said, waving it off. I shrugged to, letting the subject pass.
“Well, I guess that’s passed. Wanna burn things now?” I asked enthusiastically, wanting to see Rapidash’s form. Scootaloo back up a bit, looking a little unnerved.
“Uh… maybe later.” she turned down. I frowned.
“What’s wrong? As long as you’re in the ring over on the other side of the gardens, you can burn things free of consequence.” I tried to persuade her.
“No, it’s not burning things I’m uncomfortable about… it’s your face when you mentioned burning things.” she replied. I recoiled and facehoofed.
“Damnit, Tia… Alright, let’s try to avoid anything about fire right now. I’m starting to think I might lose my mind the next time I see fire.” I said, a bit worried for my mental health. Scootaloo nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, let’s stay away from Pyromania for now.” she said. We started heading back to the sparring ring together to pick up my laptop. On the way, I told her about the prank I’d pulled on those nobles. She ended up laughing harder than I did, and I had to carry her in my magic for a bit. She laughed so hard, I got her to drop her new form, too. I also came up with a plan for when Spitfire got back, and shared it with Scootaloo once she stopped laughing.
When we got there, we found Tia chatting with Spitfire. “Oh, hey guys. How long have you been waiting here?” I asked as I approached with Scoots still riding my back.
“Not long, I assure you.” Tia answered. “How has the training gone?”
“It was awesome. I taught Scoots two pretty strong and fast forms, and she’s adapting to them quite awesomely.” I replied, showing my hype. “Hey Scoots, feel like showing off the Bladewolf?” I asked my piggybacking passenger. She grinned and hopped off. When she landed, she stood in a proud posture like an Alpha Wolf, and then became the Bladewolf in a flash of fire.
“Initiating protocol “Show and Tell.” she droned in that awsome robot’s voice. Tia and Spitfire dropped their jaws. “I am unit SK007S, a first class “Bladewolf” unit. I am equipped with a high frequency motorized chain blade, capable of severing even iron in half, as well as throwing knives capable of searing melting brick upon mere seconds of contact.” she stated just like I’d told her. She then demonstrated by revving the chainsaw up and carving through the cement beneath us a little.
This made the two ponies in front of us drop their jaws further, and their eyes to widen so much, they shrank into little dots. I raised my eyebrow as I smelled something weird, but then my other brow joined the first when I saw a pool of yellow start to collect under Spitfire’s legs.
Scootaloo continued before I could break into a laughing fit. “I am also capable of above average agility, able to strike quickly and efficiently with precision.” She demonstrated this claim to by leaping onto the nearby wall, running across it, and launching the earlier mentioned daggers at me. I easily countered with a shield, letting the daggers bounce off, but by the time my shield was back down, Scoots had jumped off the wall, landed behind me, and faced Tia and Spits.
Tia and Spits were both looking a bit paler, and Tia lacked a bit of her godly shine. “That is so freakin scary awesome.” Spits finally said. Scoots turned back, grinning a bit, but holding back a yawn.
“Yeah, too bad it drains me so much.” she said, sounding more tired than she looked. “I think I’m ready to head home. You mind if I take a nap and eat a little on the way, mom?” she asked, trotting up to Spitfire.
“Heh. Sure thing, Squirt. Just remember I need at least a little something to fly with, so don’t eat too much.” she agreed, taking wing and picking scoots up. As she flew off, I realized something.
“Hey wait, if Scootaloo’s a changeling and Spitfire’s her mom, does that mean Spitfire’s a changeling too?” I asked. Tia giggled at me.
“No. Spitfire is a regular pony that agreed to host Scootaloo’s egg.” she corrected. I stared unblinkingly at Spitfire’s retreating form.
“That has some rather kinky implications.” I said, wondering if maybe I could get some of that action. Tia giggled once more, probably smelling what those implications caused my body to produce.
“A fan, I see?” She implied in question. I nodded without shame.
“That, and so much more.” I replied. “Though somehow, I expect that you’ve learned of much more than I have. Hell, I know for a fact that you’ve actually experienced some. I’m jealous.”
“Well, that’s quite something. A pony that knows their common sense.” Tia complimented with a chuckle. “Yes, I’ve seen and experienced a number of different activities.”
“Just one sec, are we even talking about the same thing?” I asked real quick to clarify.
“Why, what are you talking about?” she asked.
“Sex. Fetishes.” I answered.
“I see.” she said. She was trolling me, wasn’t she? Meh. I’ll let it pass. At this point, the only way to win the game was not to play. Besides, as old as she was, I doubted I could counter troll her with our current topic. Instead, I changed the topic.
“Well, there is something I’d like to legitimately talk to you about. I’m starting to get some pretty strong pyromaniac urges.” I said, turning to face her now. She raised her eyebrow and I could have sworn I saw the slightest of smirks fall from her face.
“You feel eager when you speak of subjects involving fire?” she asked. I nodded, and she frowned a bit deeper. “Try not to worry about it too much, but don’t ignore it completely. I started feeling those urges after I sealed my sister in the moon. It’s our inner Nightmares, I suppose you could say.”
“Wow, that’s pretty scary. I guess even if we embody light and all that shiz, even we can fall to corruption.” I replied, now more worried than ever.
“Yes. But said corruption doesn’t come from nothing. Has there been anything bothering you to make you feel this way?” she asked, genuinely concerned for me.
“Oh, plenty of things. First and foremost is my foreknowledge. I know some things are coming, and I’m a bit worried my precautions might only make them worse. For instance, the wedding of your guard’s captain is gonna get invaded by Queen Chrysalis’s hive because they’re starving, and I’m sitting here thinking of inviting her to freakin tea to negotiate. And yes, I’m aware of how insane that sounds, but I’m not about to shoot down someone that might not even deserve it.”
I started ranting about other things, like Tirek’s return, Discord’s reform, Twilight’s ascension, Pinkie discovering the Mirror Pool and cloning herself, the Flim Flam brothers, Trixie getting caught up in the Alicorn Amulet’s influence, and a few other issues. By the end of it, I felt like I could spontaneously combust. But Celestia put a wing over my back in a comforting gesture.
“Don’t worry, Celly. You’re doing a fine job of preparing for the future, from what I can tell. Seriously, you just turned a filly from Ponyville into something that could scare even me. And knowing Spitfire, that filly knows the discipline to use that gift right.” she assured me, quelling my need to burn something. I smiled.
“Heh… guess I shouldn’t be trying to plan on my own. Too much stress.” I laughed at myself.
“That’s right. Even I don’t do my paperwork alone. I have ponies I hire to sort through it and give me the paperwork that actually matters.” she pointed out. I smiled a bit more genuinely now, but that fell when she asked the next question. “Now what was that about inviting an invader over for tea?”
“Um.. Well, they need food, but probably have had too many bad experiences with ponies in events completely out of our control to trust us completely. I’d say inviting Chrysalis over for something like that could get any misconceptions out of the way.” I reasoned, trying to flush out my nervousness.
“Oh? I’d certainly like to hear the theories behind this.” she inquired.
“Okay,” I started with a gulp, trying to get the lump out of my throat. “I’ve already been told that she and her hive bypass even changeling morals. Only reason for that I can think of is that she’s got some sort of grudge against us. Be that either because the Empire’s gone, some racist ponies with a hate complex attacked someone close, or because some jerk in her own hive’s trying to pull strings and cause a war, I don’t know, but in whatever the case may be, we need to clear away any misconceptions and bring the truth to bear. Best way I figure we do that, we invite her to some kind of formal, but social event.”
Celestia’s dangerous air started to fade as she listened, allowing me to present my case more clearly. When I finished, she nodded. “Yes, it makes a lot of sense. Not even changelings are immune to deception. And I once knew Chrysalis. She always did have quite the temper. It’s not impossible for one of her own to trick her into starting a war.”
“So we’re agreed? We need to get in contact somehow?” I asked to clarify. Celestia nodded.
“I’ll tell my captain to put together an effort. What about the other threats?” she asked once that was concluded.
“Well, there’s some things I’d rather not change at all, for the sake of the Mane 6. Like Discord’s reform, and Tirek’s return. In the show, Tirek tricks Discord into helping him, only to be betrayed in the end. It teaches him to really and truly appreciate the friendships he’ll have built by then.”
“That’s… troubling. You’re certain it’s the way it’s supposed to be?” she asked.
“Yes. It might not be the most ideal course of events, considering Tirek actually gets his hands on every last drop of magic in Equestria, but considering the power Twilight unlocks in the end, it’ll be worth it.”
“The true might of Friendship?” Celestia guessed.
“Yep. Straight from the roots of the Tree of Harmony.” I confirmed. “You know, maybe it’d be easier to explain if I let you use my laptop to watch the whole show.”
“You’d do that?” she asked, surprised.
“Sure. I mean my presence here is already bound to screw some things up. It’s not like I’m preventing a change in the timeline by hiding the future from you.” I explained my reasoning. I got my laptop out of my bag and started setting up a playlist of episodes for her to watch, starting with the Discord episode. “Here. You might not be able to finish it before sundown though. Still, it’s a thing you can do in your spare time.”
“Thank you, Celly. But.. don’t you still need it to keep in contact with your world?” she questioned. I shook my head.
“Nah. I already talked to them yesterday, and I only really need to talk to them at least once a week.” I answered. “Or whenever something big or important happens, like being involved in Twilight’s Friendship Lessons and influencing the known timeline.”
“Didn’t you just do that? You just told me about Chrysalis I mean. Without you telling me, there was simply no way I would have known how far she’d fallen.” she countered. I smiled.
“Well, I never said I wouldn’t report that in… I’ve been being you a few times now, but you haven’t been me once.” I told her.
“I… What? Are you suggesting what I think you are?” she looked pretty shocked. I just grinned my trademark grin and started to head off.
“I think I am.” I replied as I stepped around the corner. Just behind me, I heard her sigh before she responded.
“I swear, the longer she remains here, the more chaotic things get… I’m gonna have to give Discord a stern talk when I release him for the Reform.”
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Awesome.
Shrimply awesome.
Good chapter, but, Holy Raptor Jesus is not child friendly. At all.
Well this was a cool chapter. If you want a changeling hive You could use my Shadow Hive at some point in your story. I also have a group based on my hive that you can join if you want to. I can't wait for more!
At her size, wouldn't it be much easier for Scootaloo to take the form of Blitzle or Ponyta instead of their evolved forms? They're smaller and weaker, so they'd take much less energy to maintain and their powers would be much easier to control.
6953197 Well, it's not meant to be. Scoots is mature in this fic.
6953204 sounds good.
6953328 You know what? You're right. But this chapter is mostly about scoots being badass. Plus, you gotta admit, they're easier by far than the Blade Wolf.
6953389 Yeah, it does seem in-character for him to choose those forms for her instead. I suppose if she'd had a problem, he might have dialed it back to the smaller forms.
I'm not familiar with the Metal Gear franchise. Pretty much everything I know about Metal Gear Rising Revengeance is from Team Four Star's "Renegade for Life" Let's Play. They skipped a lot of stuff, as it was not meant to be a serious playthrough.
6953443 You are missing out. That's all I gotta say to you about that, buddy.
6953494 Yeah, from what I saw, that's pretty obvious. I'm not going to be playing them anytime soon, though, because right now, I can't even afford the games I already know I want, so something I'm just curious about is out of the question.
Loved the new chapter and I look forward to the next!
Awesome! I can't wait for more!
I was expecting the TFS version of Make a Man Out of You.
The title of this chapter reminds me of this
6956901 that was entirely intentional.
Kinky.....too bad this is a T rating and it will never get beyond talking about it
6988741 Sweet. : ) Just giving heads up on what needs to be fixed, also this story is amusing and entertaining!
6956925 I can't wait for the next chapter this story is hilarious.
6953389 hey i got an idea you might want to use for this story
7011265 oh yeah? Let's hear it.
7012547 well i don't know if you will like it but why not have celly show them a video of the harlem shake and managed to convince celestia, luna some of the castle staff and probably the mane 6 to do the harlem shake and celly video taped it and send 2 everyone in his world
7012547 i bet that would be freacking hilarious
7012565 oh my god, yes!
7012736 so do you like the idea?
7013480 I love it. I shall credit you in the next chapter for the idea.
7014002
really? Cool i never had anyone credit me on a chapter of their story before so thanks, when do you think you would be finished with the chapter?
7014004 Might be a while. I'm bogged down with school this week, so I'm afraid I won't get any progress done this week.
7014022 aw man that sucks to hear i cannot wait to see how fucking hilarious that chapter will be and laugh my ass off until i died laughing and i love your new story about a certain changeling queen just so you know i am about 50/50 on board with the clop that you are about to put, OH WHO IN THE HELL AM I KIDDING?!?! I am 90% in for the incest you might put in your story
7014022 oh and i almost forgot why not add shining armor and cadence into the mix as well?
7014045 Heh. Sorry, but I'm not gonna actually show the incest. It'll be there, but I won't show it. As for Cadence and Shiny, what do you mean? You mean in this story?
7014054 for your incest thing meh to bad would have liked it for you to show the incest but to each their own but for your question about shining and cadence in the story yes i would love to see if you let them participate in the harlem shake or just funny as hell shocked spectators hope for the former
7014060 Well, I want to leave it like that as a sort of compromise between fans who do and don't. Maybe I'll put the actual scene in a blog post for the story so that fans who don't want it can skip it.
7014076 ok i think i know how to deal with that situation you either A: put the incest and non-incest clop chapters in the story and tell everyone it is skippable that it will no affect the story or option b: you make a another story based on the clop of the original for does who want to read them
7014102 Fair ideas. I'm just worried it might put some people off about my story.
7014130 hmm true enough some people if not alot of people found the clop to be a huge turn off for a story but then again that is why i offered you those 2 solutions because i know 2 stories that utilize both options 1 is a story that is call terracana and the other is the dash of humanity series
Oh shit you actually found the picture
isnt it great!
Love the new cover art!
Now when can we expect a new chapter?
Love the story.
Downside is that I read all the chapters in one night. 
Loving it
Love it. Keep up the great work.
That cover art just killed me
......anyway, I'm out (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Is a certain character a fan of oviposition?
i loe this story please more
Can you do more please
7014130 next few chapters please if u can find the time to do so that is
*zombie horse noise* uuuuupdaaaate...
I thought of when celly and Luna played portal 2
LOL, I know that feel, bro.
Okay, I did like this at first, but this character is unfortunately starting to fall into a 'can't beat me and everyone loves me' mold. I get that there are specific reasons for the 'can't beat me' such as being an alicorn, but almost every character he/she runs into (I might just start calling him Frisk to save time on labeling his sex) likes him within a few sentences of conversation. You'd think that given that Discord brought him there that even with the word of their rulers the citizens would be more than a bit suspicious of him/her.
Maybe I'm just being over-critical due to having read certain types of fics over and over through the years, but still....
6958642
That's what making side-stories as separate fics is for. Fanfic authors do it all the time, here.
7342096 Y'know, I'm aware that this fic might not be everyone's cup of tea. That's okay though, I'm not really looking for everyone's approval... anymore.
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