Establishing Presence
"I cannot believe you just did that," Fluttershy whispered, horror dripping from her tone. "Nobody speaks to Sunset Shimmer like that!"
I shrugged. "Eh, I've dealt with my fair share of bullies before. Believe me: Sunset is all bark and no bite." I smirked at Fluttershy. "To use a phrase you might get a kick out of."
"But how are you going to stop her from making your life miserable here?" Fluttershy questioned. "The last student who stood up to her isn't even welcome in the lunchroom anymore."
I scoffed and waved my hand. "And? You really think I base my self-worth off of what a bunch of teenagers think? Believe me, Fluttershy, in a few years, nothing Sunset has done to anyone will matter in the slightest." I tilted my head and tapped my jaw thoughtfully. "As for how I'm going to continue to hold my ground against her... Maybe I could make her eat a nice big bowl of spider webs."
Fluttershy's eyes widened again, and she vigorously shook her head. "Oh no, you can't do that! It would be so cruel to destroy the homes of those poor innocent spiders!" She blushed and looked at the ground. "And I guess it would be a little mean to Sunset, too."
Ignoring the fact that I personally don't believe that there's such a thing as a "poor innocent spider", no matter what the size (the small ones can hide and the big ones are just... wrong) I'd play my hand too early if I forced Sunset to eat a bowl of spider webs. Oh well. I'd find out something to do with her before this was all said and done. I mean, stealing an Element of Harmony wasn't something that I could ignore. Sure, the Element was my priority, but if I could get Sunset back to Equestria to stand trial or something, I'd definitely do that. But again, I'd need to get the Element first.
"So," I said, turning my attention back to Fluttershy, "you heading off to class now?"
She nodded, but I could also see a grimace on her face. "Yeah, but Sunset made me late." She lowered her head and kicked at the ground. "I don't like being late for Ms. Harshwhinny's class."
Oh crap, there was a Ms. Harshwhinny here?! Oh man, even us princesses didn't really want to get on her bad side. Just something about her made us flinch. If I had to go to a class or two to keep my cover here, I'd definitely try to avoid one of her's.
"So, what's your first class?" Fluttershy asked.
"I dunno," I said. "I haven't actually gotten my class schedule yet."
"Oh, then you'd better go talk to Principal Celestia or Vice-Principal Luna about that, then. I'd hate for you to miss any more of school than you already have."
Vice-Principal who now? So if there was a Celestia and Luna, does that mean that...?
Nah, couldn't be. I didn't live in Canterlot, and this was Canterlot High. There'd probably be a Principal Antares in Baltimare High, or something like that. Regardless, I needed to see this "Principal Celestia" if I was to get some more information about this place. Information is power, after all. I looked over to Fluttershy and smiled at her.
"Yeah, I probably should. Thanks, Fluttershy."
She returned my thanks with a happy little smile. "Oh, you're welcome. Her office is just down that hallway." She pointed to the next hallway on the right. "You can't miss it."
"Sounds good." I grimaced a bit. "Hope Ms. Harshwhinny's not too mad about you being late."
Fluttershy squeaked and her pupils shrunk to pinpricks. "SeeyoulaterTDbye!" With that, she zoomed down the opposite hallway into the classroom of terror.
The three of us watched her disappear around a corner before Captain Blaze cleared his throat and spoke up. "So, uh, what class would a mare like Ms. Harshwhinny teach anyway?"
I shrugged and began walking down the hallway towards Principal Celestia's office. About a hundred feet on my left side I could see a door that I could gather was her office. However, on the wall proceeding the door, I noticed a long line of school pictures. I tilted my head and walked up to them just to see what they were about.
The next string of words out of my mouth weren't really the most foal-friendly, sooooooo I'll just not let you know what they were.
The reason for my black speech? Well, the first picture I saw was one of the faculty of this school.
Principal Celestia.
Vice-Principal Luna
And Mr. Antares, head of the state's teacher's union.
That in of itself wasn't really my problem, though. The problem stemmed more from...
"Those things aren't human," I said, shakily pointing at the picture of the three of them.
Blaze and Rapids moved to get a better look at the picture. Blaze frowned and tilted his head before giving me a questioning look.
"Wait, I'm legitimately asking here, TD. Do you mean literally?"
"No, no," I grumbled as I waved my hand. "No, I'm just saying that Celestia and Luna don't look anything like any human I've ever seen. I think they'd even look out of place in this world. Their proportions, their faces, their expressions..." My eye twitched. "Something's just not quite right about the two of them. I can't quite put my hoof on it." I looked down at my hands and rolled my eyes. "Finger. I have fingers again. So I can't quite put my finger on it."
"I guess they look kind of freaky," Rapids said with a nod, "though this Mr. Antares dude looks almost exactly like you. I think he might be a few years older or something, but I could see how some people might get confused."
I took a closer look at Mr. Antares and bit my lip. "Yeah, you're right. Hmm. Before we start looking for the crown in this place, we'll have to deal with that. I think the only reason Sunset might not have noticed was because she was too furious with me, but that might not hold up a second time." I uneasily scratched the back of my neck. "Not sure if Fluttershy made the connection, and if she did, why she didn't bring it up? Regardless, we'll have to fix it. If two Mr. Antares' are going around, that's really going to complicate things." I turned around and began walking the way we came. "I want to spend the rest of the day getting settled here. Getting some money, a car maybe, selling some of the stuff in my backpack." I turned left towards the entrance of the school. "Plus I should probably change my appearance a little bit, style my hair differently and whatnot, if for no other reason than to not look like the Mr. Antares here."
"But TD, how are we going to do all of that?" Lieutenant Rapids asked. "I mean, wouldn't we need I.D.s, maybe birth certificates or bank accounts if we're going to get a..." She exchanged a look with Blaze. "Whatever a car is?"
I gulped as we walked out of the school, unable to deny Rapids' assessment. I stopped and turned to give them a comforting smile. "Well, Sunset started out in a worse position than we're in: she didn't have anybody who knows anything about human worlds. Somehow she made it without all of those things, right?"
"I guess," Rapids muttered, "but she didn't only have a few days before she was stuck here for over two years, abandoning her loved ones and/or subjects."
I let out a heavy sigh and began walking again. "Yes, I know. Trust me, though, I'll figure something out."
* * * *
"Wait, so you're telling me that I don't need any form of I.D. to set up a bank account here?"
The teller smiled at me and shook her head. "That's right, dearie. I just need you to fill out this form here." She nudged the papers and pen closer to me. "We don't require any form of card I.D. at this time, but we will be taking your picture and fingerprinting you if you don't have any current forms of I.D. on you right now."
Ah, so if I couldn't prove my identity right then and there, I could still be caught by the cops in this world if I did anything financially illegal due to the bank having my picture and fingerprints.. I don't think that would work in Equestria, and especially not Earth, but, well, I guess society had evolved differently here. It seemed to work if this is how they decided to do things here. I shrugged and pulled the papers over to me.
"Guess this explains how Sunset's been living here for over two years," I muttered.
* * * *
"My goodness, this is... this is amazing! I have rarely seen diamonds of this quality!" The jewel shop owner took the diamond out from under the microscope and grinned at me. "These are heirlooms, you say?"
I nodded, still wiping my fingers on a napkin to try to get the fingerprint ink off. "Yeah. Decided to sell them because, well, it's time to start heading out into the real world and whatnot, and I gotta pay for that somehow."
"Makes sense," the owner said with a nod. "And honestly you could not have picked a better trio of gems to sell!"
I smirked at the owner. "Yeah, I thought so too. I am aware of what they're worth and their superior quality."
"Indeed, indeed," the owner said with a nod. “So the largest stone you have here is ten carats. Then you also have a nice five carat and a great six carat gem here as well. The price per carat for diamonds these days is about twenty five grand average, but for diamonds of this quality, I'm going to say more in the range of fifty grand per carat. Given that we have to make a profit when we re-sell these, I'm going to offer you..."
The shop owner scribbled down a number on a notepad and pushed it towards me. I pulled it over and checked it before tilting the paper so that Rapids and Blaze could see it too. I chalked it up to their guard stoicism that they didn't go nuts immediately. Still, I had known them long enough to pick up on subtle changes in their demeanor. Inside they freaked out when they saw the number. Good to know we had some really good diamonds here. I nodded and pushed the notepad back.
"I think you have yourself a deal."
* * * *
"I like this house. What do you think, River? Burning?"
The three of us stood in the entryway of a rather nice two story, upper-middle class type home. The immaculate hardwood floors and the nice chandelier with electric lighting hanging from the ceiling gave a sense of comfortable living without necessarily going into opulence. It had everything that a house needed, really, and since we had hit four more jewelry shops and had ten million dollars (yes the local currency was called dollars) in my new bank account, I figured that I could afford the house.
"It, uh, it looks pretty good, TD," Captain Blaze said, looking around at the house while trying to hide the fact that he couldn't wrap his head around what he was seeing. Even a house like this compared decently well to my palace in Baltimare. Hey, I was kind of a less ornate princess, ya know?
"It comes with everything that you see here," the realtor said, tapping her finger on her clipboard as if subtly hinting that I should have already started signing my soul away to exorbitant interest rates and soul stealing mortgages. "The backyard might be a fun project if you ever wanted to, say, put a swimming pool or a hot tub back there, and I think that the master bedroom could look really spectacular with some classical style furnishings, don't you think?"
I nodded, tapping my jaw in thought. "Yeah, and I think that the bathroom could use a little re-modeling, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." I turned to the realtor and smiled. "We'll take it."
The realtor beamed at me. "Excellent!" She looked down to her clipboard and began looking through some papers. "Now, there are some papers and such that I'll need you to sign, of course. Normal stuff. And there will be some pamphlets letting you know about interest rates and the mortgage and whatnot, but that's typical homeowner stuff."
I chuckled and waved my hand. "Oh that won't be necessary. We'll be doing all of this through my bank, and I think you'll find that I have enough to cover the cost of this house up front."
"Uh..."
* * * *
"What's our number?"
"Fifty one."
"And what number is it currently?"
I sighed and glared at Captain Blaze. "Thirty four. Just like it says on the board over there."
"Oh."
Lieutenant Rapids groaned and kicked at the ground while trying to find a comfortable spot on the prison chairs we had managed to snag while we waited. "I take back everything I said about guarding doors!" she moaned. "Just let it end!"
"No kidding," Captain Blaze grumbled. "What did you call this place again? Hell?"
I sighed and flipped to another page in the magazine I was currently reading. "I think I called it that, too. But its official name is a little more ominous: the DMV. And we need to endure it if I'm going to get a car."
* * * *
"And those are cars?"
"Uh-huh," I said as we walked up to the dealership ten minutes before it closed. "That's how we're going to get around town."
"Er... okay," Rapids said, eying the cars as if one of them would come to life and start trying to eat her. I noticed that one of her shoulders twitch as though she expected a bladed wing to be there in case she needed it to use in a fight with one of these things.
"It's going to be fine," I assured her as a salesman walked up to us, a big grin on his face. "I know how to work these things, and I've gotten a temporary license to do so. It's not a big deal."
"Hey, folks! Can I help you?" the salesman said chipperly. "If you're looking for a good, solid car we've got an incredible sale on all 2010 Diamondbacks, made by the Filthy Rich corporation. If you're looking for something quicker then a Silver Shredder might be just the car for you as well! We've got a spectacular deal on some of those, too!"
"I think we're just looking for utility for the moment," I said, looking around the lot. "We're not planning on taking long trips, but we do need something with plenty of cargo space."
The salesman's eyes lit up and he began walking us down an aisle of cars. "Ah, yes, yes! I think I have just the car for you! We have some really nice 2013 FlimFlam trucks if you want, those sell really well. We also have some really quality Turgis brand trucks. They're foreign, but everybody I've talked to said that they're really reliable."
I nodded in approval. "Yeah, that last one sounds good. Reliability is a big plus for me."
The salesman led us to a line of decently sized trucks, most of which looked brand new. I walked up to a black one with tinted windows and tapped on the side. "I like this one. It looks sturdy, reliable, and best of all, it has the space in the back that I'm looking for."
"Excellent!" the salesman said happily, no doubt seeing dollar signs. After glancing at the fifty five thousand dollar price tag on it, I could guess why. "I assume you'd like a test drive before we draw up the paperwork?"
I smirked and nodded. "Naturally. It's not that I don't trust that this car is top-of-the-line, it's just that I need to make sure that this car and I are made for each other, that's all."
"Makes perfect sense to me," the salesman said with an approving nod. "Come with me and we'll get the keys and take her for a spin, how's that?"
"Sounds good."
I could tell that the salesman had a bit more of a spring in his step when we walked back to the main building of the dealership. If I bought the car, and I didn't see any reason why I wouldn't at present, then that would look pretty good for him, especially if he made bonuses on commission, or whatever. Eh, good for him.
As we got closer, I looked over at Blaze and Rapids, who were both looking at me uneasily. I gave them a reassuring smile.
"Don't worry. Like I said: I know my way around a car like that. I used to drive my sister's truck all of the time. It's no big deal. You'll be perfectly sa--"
And that's when I saw it.
It.
I froze in my tracks, my eyes wide and my jaw nearly on the ground. Blaze, Rapids, and the salesman all noticed that I stopped, and they looked to where I was staring. I shakily raised my hand and pointed to the car in front of me. That car. The Car of Destiny.
"That car," said, my voice surprisingly steady despite the fact that my heart was going a hundred miles an hour. "I... I want it."
The salesman raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "Instead of the Turgis?"
I vigorously shook my head. "No, including the Turgis. I want them both. Just.. just get me the paperwork. I need that car, okay?"
"Er..." The salesman alternated looks between me and my guards before shrugging. "Yeah, if you want it then I will be more than happy to sell it to you. At a cheaper price, since you're buying two."
"Right, right." I began walking towards the main building of the dealership. "I just need that car."
* * * *
An hour, a bunch of paperwork, a short test drive of the Turgis, and eighty five thousand dollars later, we had our cars. I had the second car hooked up to the back of the Turgis, and we drove off leaving a slightly bemused, but doubtlessly thrilled at the two sales, salesman behind. It didn't matter anymore. My whole day had changed. We made a few trips to some shops around town for some supplies, then it was back to our house, which Lieutenant Rapids had affectionately nicknamed The Castle. After taking out all of the food we'd bought, and setting up the mattresses so we'd have a place to sleep for the night, I parked the truck in the garage and had my guards move the car into the backyard while I grabbed my tools.
I slowly walked into the backyard where Blaze and Rapids were leaning against the car, looking at me with confusion. I hadn't said much of anything since seeing this car, and now the bundle I was carrying made them even more uneasy.
"Uh, Princess Antares? Are you okay?" Captain Blaze asked.
I nodded and continued moving. "Yep. I think so. I just need to do some work on this car." I sighed as I reached the car and set the bundle down next to it. "Did you have an interesting day?"
"Of course we did," Rapids snarked. "I mean, I've only seen more new things in one day than I ever have. We've just moved to this world and now we're millionaires who can buy anything, we've discovered what cars are, and they're pretty interesting, and now you're doing... whatever it is you're doing."
"Uh-huh."
Blaze and Rapids exchanged another look while I continued to stare at the car. After a moment, I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair.
"You two can go get some dinner now, okay? I'll just be out here doing some work on the car, alright? Leave me be until I say otherwise."
"Er..." Blaze and Rapids straightened up. "Okay, Princess Antares," Blaze said. "Whatever you say."
"Thank you."
I waited a moment for the two of them to go back into the house, but once I heard the back door close behind me, I took a deep breath and unrolled my bundle.
"So," I began laying out all of my tools. "We meet at last. You and me. I know you're not the real one, but you're as close as I'm going to get, so I'll make due." I stared straight into the car's windshield, as if expecting to see a shadowy figure behind the wheel.
"I suppose I should thank you, really. I rule an entire nation, I have obscene amounts of power, I am beloved by all of my subjects and I love them dearly in return, and I have a wonderful marefriend that I can be with for an eternity. I couldn't have had any of those back on Earth. That said..." I picked up a baseball bat from my collection of tools that included a sledgehammer and a machete and glared at the car. The car that was the exact make, color, and model as the one that Celestia had pulled me into Equestria to save me from.
"I am gonna fuck you up."
When I returned to the house after three hours of laughing, sobbing, and turning the car into something that didn't even resemble anything that had been an automobile, I felt... a little better. Like some part of my past had been put to rest.
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I honestly expected it to be a bat mobile or a tumbler or something, but this just fits with the character so much better.
..... no comment
Oh my god
I sure hope he had the right music for it
So very perfect
And if he meets his counterpart: it will be an endless loop of snark.
TD totally should've gotten one of these.
preview.netcarshow.com/Dodge-Charger_Daytona-1969-800-03.jpg
Revenge on the car that started it all. Feels good, don't it TD?
I really want some scenario where TD tells Principal Celestia that Mr.Antares is his father and she gets ridiculously pissed because they've been dating or something. Then she goes and drives her foot directly into his crotch screaming "Why did you never tell me?!"
Since Antares TD has been softened by Equestria, will EG TD be as crabby and snarky as old TD?
what no 'die muthafucker die' playing in the back round?
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
That chapter ending...
I do believe you nailed it.
5661312
oh my god yes that would be perfect,
BRONY WRITER YOU GOTTA DO THIS
Really liked how TD managed to buy his car, earn his money, and buy a home. TD delivering karmic retribution to a copy of the car that hit him and his catharsis while doing so was hilarious. I hope to see more.
Bonus Level!
mobygames.com/images/shots/l/55635-final-fight-amiga-screenshot-bonus-stage-smash-the-car-ups.gif
Hahaha. Pure payback.
Considering that one of the things TD did was set up what was pretty much a Teacher's Union in Equestria, local Antares' job makes a lot of sense. Maybe his office is in the Baltimare wing of the building.
I get the feeling that Snips and Snails somehow got a recording of TD destroying that car. Despite the fact that he just bought the house, and has been running around all day setting up his 'base' so to speak. I can already imagine the excuse TD will make to justify his actions.
Didn't see that last bit coming, but it was a nice touch. Gotta love closure...
DEATH TO THE CAR!
Now to await the meeting between TD and Mr Antares, which is bound to be interesting...
Well... I certainly wasn't expecting that to happen to that car...
As someone who hasn't yet finished TD The Alicorn Princess (working on it!), are TD and Cheerilee still together in this universe?
EDIT: Also, this should probably be marked as a sequel.
That's all I have to say.
Heh wow, I do have to wonder if TD will wonder why this world is so different from his Earth. Heh you know I can't wail till TD and Mr. Antares will meet and I do wonder how EQG-Antares appeared in the EQG world? Was it similar to what happened to TD?
Oh and I do love that TD is "Going Postal" on the car that almost hit him:
5661768 No. Its TD and Celestia in this universe. Also, BronyWriter has stated that this is a non-canon side story to Alicorn Princess. He is working on the proper sequel now.
... I'll be honest, I didn't know how you'd do it, but you did it well: You brought a car into play, and it was hilarious.
I hope getting the Humane 5 back together is easy enough.
If he becomes part of the Rainbooms, what would he be? The triangle, just to spite everyone? Or lead vocals, because he can sing villain songs pretty well?
Maybe Mr. Antares came from a pony universe that's parallel to our own and wound up in EG-land? I don't know, just a thought.
Can't wait for more glorious introspection as to how EG-land works.
Remind me of the slightly new karate kid with the car
i692.photobucket.com/albums/vv283/DeeKayL/animations/punching-through-a-car.gif
Apparently TD is a fan of the defunct Cartoon Network show Destroy Build Destroy.... minus the middle word of that title.
Before I even read...
OMGOMGOMGOGMGMO! AN UPDATEETAWEFGQWFE
YEAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
I was so hoping it was this beautiful beast:
crossfitsobosouthborough.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/christine.jpg
Oh well, cant have everything, I suppose.
You're evil.
So filler-ish.
WOOOHOOOOO!
UPDATE!
5662094 what anime is that?
5662149
No, no. He's a fan of Kefka's motto: Destroy, destroy, DESTROY!!!
He even laughs while doing it and leaves it looking like it was never a car to begin with.
5662254 Some chapters are like that, I'm afraid.
What are the odds that two parallel universes have similar cars?
5662635 If you're going to design cars, you're going to want efficient designs. Most Earth cars have this, so it makes sense that efficient designs would be similar in the other dimension. And blue is a common color for a car. Ergo...
What TD did to that car was so incredibly horrible that it made the copier beatdown from Office Space seem merciful by comparison...
The DMV scene reminded me of this:
Also, is this world's Mr Antares just gonna wake up one morning and find himself a millionaire?
That was amusing, although I am really hoping to see him pick up some guns for himself and his guards. It will make the final confrontation hilarious when the fight is either aborted by Sunset having the brains not to mess with the guys with guns so there is no real showdown or she does something stupid and gets herself gunned down. Her getting killed would also make for a funny return trip when they come back and dump her shredded corpse in front of Celestia and the others.
that part at the end with the car..... eeyup
I thought Antares was now a 'he'.
Okay, I just noticed and need to say I LOVE your profile pick! My family used to own a pair of ball pithons and they where soooo sweet! I adored them, in all our time owning them one of us was only bit once, and it hardly hurt me too. Snakes are just adorable!
5664899
Force of habit, I should guess.
Personally I like it, 'Princess' is one of those titles that really should have way more 'umpht' than most writers give it, and this shows his/her guards are at least trying in that regard.
5664899 This takes place before the assassination attempt.
I hope TD feels better now. I thing he REALLY needed that.
5664906 Yeah, my ball python was almost affectionate as far as snakes go. She loved people. I miss her a lot.
5664899
He is, but they are used to calling him princess.
5661305 YES! But sadly, he has to stay relatively low profile, and the Charger Daytona screams(read: roaring) everything but low-profile. I mean, imagine if your just some random highschooler and that showed up. I'm pretty sure your reaction will NOT be "Oh, ok. Whatever."