• Member Since 12th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen July 25th

adoptpetz


Just a brony (or pegasister, if you prefer) who likes art and writing... and did I mention art?

Sequels1

E

Thestrals were defeated by the Princesses Luna and Celestia a thousand years ago, and are thought extinct. But what will happen when one moves to Ponyville? Disguised as an earth pony, Acrylic does her best to fit in. The burden of hiding her wings weighs heavily on her, and keeps her from becoming truly close to anypony. Can she keep the secret, or will she expose her entire race?

Chapters (38)
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Comments ( 248 )

DAFQ?:derpyderp2: 122K in one go?:derpyderp1: and it's your first fic? :rainbowhuh:
need some explaining mate :ajbemused:

Is this that story where a self insert OC is going to be the seventh element of harmony?

Ack, sheesh man 122,000 words? That's impressive, do you hail from devianart? I would think so.

DAFQ?:derpyderp2: 122K in one go?:derpyderp1: and it's your first fic? :rainbowhuh:
need some explaining mate :ajbemused:

I just migrated from fanfiction.net because someone tried to plagiarize my story. This one was already finished, but I'm still posting the sequel which will hopefully show up here soon. I just have to catch up to myself.

Ack, sheesh man 122,000 words? That's impressive, do you hail from devianart? I would think so.

And no, I don't have deviantart, but I post characters and scenes from my stories on my pinterest account: http://www.pinterest.com/adoptpetz/

4993588

Oops meant Fanfiction. But still impressive, just be aware people have standards on here unlike Fanfiction.

one wonders... do mlp fics published on fanfiction without having a copy here? why go to general fic when having fimfic here?

4993588 Ok that explains it because I had sworn I had read like half of this story already on fimfiction.

And its better formatted for reading. The only the other guy put up made reading hard.

4993540 no, this is imported from fanfiction.com. It's really good. It isn't self insert, but it is OC has adventures with mane six.

4993588 Woo! Good to see you here. Loved your story.

Story of the title is wrong. We all know Dr. Bright is the 7th element of Harmony. :pinkiehappy:

Oh my... I read this before I joined fimfiction. Surprised it made it here.

I was hoping you would get a fimfiction account.:pinkiehappy:

4994007 That would be spoiling it.

It is one of those 'retelling' of the series. But it is perhaps my favorite one that at least made efforts to stay canon.

I liked it, read the first three chapters. I'll admit the story type is not everyone's cup of tea, but for what it is it: it is well written, clever, and I enjoyed it.

I don't know what it is about this story that makes me want to read it...and I wish I had the influence to make it popular.

4994350 Try reading 'A New Hero' by AlextheLoneWolf.

I really enjoyed this story, and I actually finished it all in one sitting, so you know it's good. The only thing I had an issue with was the use of underlining/italics in scenes where we weren't following Acrylic. Maybe try using headers instead? The text changes are a little jarring to read.

Dan

Ponyville was founded before Luna was banished? It's been established that Granny Smith was around when Ponyville was founded.

Discord told me that when you wanted to go home, I just had to write the names of whoever was teleporting back.

It's like death note! :pinkiehappy::pinkiegasp:

This is called the seventh element. Why only six?:twilightangry2::applejackunsure:

I can't say much more than I loved the story, now if you excuse me I have to go to bed and rest my neck. (Seriously I stayed up all night reading this from start to finish and at some point my neck ended up in a weird position and Oww. Anyway I'll be back for the sequel and perhaps a better comment tomorrow)

5012824 I mean the idea of it, at least

He's a thestral as well, isn't he?

I knew it! He is a thestral!

FOR THE FREAKING RECORD. Nightmare Moon DOES NOT, REPEAT DOES NOT HAVE BAT WINGS! Her's are a standard alicorns. WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SCREWING THAT UP!?

4997234 No, at best Ponyville is about 100 years old. And frankly would not be surprised if Celestia planned on creating Ponyville there for her plan to rescue her sister.

“What’s that? I didn’t quite catch you,” Fluttershy pried

:rainbowlaugh: PRICELSS, FREAKING PRICELESS! :rainbowlaugh:

sugar and spice and everything nice.

I see hat you did there.:twilightsmile:

Getting Discord to jaw drop, that's a first

This story was incredible. I started this tale yesterday and I finished 5 minutes ago today. At first it starts off as a standard OC alongside Mane 6 story (not that I care or anything..... I was hooked after chapter 5) but after the wedding, things take a very different turn. What happened was a little too jarringly dark considering this doesn't have the tag for it, but I quickly recovered and was still on edge. I have to say, you built a great world here.

I look forward to the sequel. My favorite part here was how you made me like Rarity and Garble considering that episode drove me crazy. I am not fond of Rarity and I adored her here. Almost every scene had me appreciating her Garble was a bully and I am not fond of how extremely naive Spike was in Dragon Quest. I had to skip bits and pieces cause I kept wanting to facepalm about how naive he was being. You redeemed the episode fully in my eyes. It doesn't hurt that I adore dragons and it is about bleeping time that Spike has another dragon in the area.

Bravo and well played. I think this is going on my wall of fame...

All I can say is that you did a really good job.You have my approval.This story was truly superb with little grammer mistakes and although there was a normal plot twist it was still good.

At the point where Twilight asks why Pinkie is singing, you make mention of Acrylic reminding her if something. But that something is never mentioned so Acrylic is taking credit for something that, to the reader, never happened.

On my phone so can't do a better job.

but Pinkie Pie leaned to close and fell over with a light whumph

"Too"

Interesting so far. I am always a little dubious about stories like these. The OC has a habit of becoming a Mary Sue.

But thee seems to have known as well

I think this should be "thou".

I couldn’t possibly enjoy myself without my best friends there with me, so I’d rather no go at all.

"Not"

Didn't catch Dr. Whooves unfortunately.

idk how to feel about her forgiving them for all the stuff thats happened but whateves

There has been a couple grammatical errors, but FiMFic has been a butt about laptops being closed and certificate times not matching recently. This leads to everything I typed being deleted. :ajbemused:

I was looking forward to a soak in the lava pits, too.

This seems like pushing things too far. It's like thestrals have NO detractions other than having a bad history. They are more maneuverable than pegasi, have bigger wings, can control a sort of flame, have night vision, are friends with dragons, can sit in lava, and they can hide all of this at will. Oh, they sometimes have pop outs, but that is a very minor detraction. I like the character, but the species is killing the story for me.

5326145
Reason for 'overpowered' thestrals is explained in the (incredibly long) sequel. You're right, but there is a reason.
Also, thanks so much for all the edits. They've been fixed. :ajsmug:

“Dear Twilight, I am sure you are as excited as I am about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot. Wedding?”

Now you need to explain Discord's absence as well as Luna's.

Kinda waiting for some more Mary Sue-ness you hit, but I am holding out hope.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/52631___safe_rainbow-dash_animated_unamused.gif

“I’m sorry?” I froze. I knew about changelings.

Has knowledge about something the alicorn sisters really don't. Hmmmmm.

“Why is it that they always want to take over the world?”

Odd sentence for a bit of an OP pony.

“I keep secrets older than you, Chrysalis.”

Somehow knows the changeling queen's name.

I coaxed it over to a pile of dust and dried leaves in the corner

Dried leaves, deep in a cave. Would be more likely to find wooden supports or an old torch.

Thank you for not having her kick down the wall.

Then, like Torchwood taught me, I directed the flames with my mind to remove the gunk from Celestia and Cadence.

Even if the Mane 6 are the Elements, Acrylic seems like she could take them all on 2 at a time.

but a foe older than Queen Chrysalis herself has returned.

And now Celestia knows Chrysalis' name!

Twilight’s closest friends, was a traitor.

Interesting how hiding a secret about one's self is not a traitorous act.

I knew that if Torchwood caught word of the situation, he could save me.

Cause thestrals are over powered in this story.

But what do you want me to do about it? I can’t change the past. But we could change the present.”

There should have been some lead up to this. It seems to come out of nowhere from her being anxious and seemingly ready to cave; not lead the conversation.

“Even after a thousand years, I fear this remnant of evil still exists in you.”

They go from suspecting and fearing to knowing in just a couple lines.

“I’m sorry, Acrylic, but it’s true.”

“Do you realize the heartache you’ve caused your friends?”

All because of a very real fear; at this point hiding is completely justified. The sisters are only making a case against themselves.

Can’t banish her to the moon too, could ya?

When did AJ become such a bitch? She basically does the same thing later with the rodeo competition.

pure goodness within Luna and I. That is why we have lived for thousands of years.”

So, that means NMM shouldn't have happened and if Celly and Luna have kids they die?

I think that if there’s a chance at getting the real Acrylic back

But the real Acrylic was never gone, bad logic there Sparkle. Bad logic.

Even I didn’t think she was that dangerous

But sending her to the moon is fine? Unlike the show, AJ is being the Element of Hypocrisy and not Dash.

I think bad logic and conclusions seems to be railroading this story.

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