• Published 11th Sep 2014
  • 5,010 Views, 334 Comments

Megas CMC - Tatsurou

The Cutie Mark Crusaders find, repair, and pilot a giant mecha from Earth's distant future, while dealing with every giant robot anime cliche in the book. This Cutie Mark Quest is a real Crusade.

  • ...

Test Drive

Apple Bloom grinned widely as she stuck her head out the window as Scootaloo manipulated the controls. "Alright. We seem to be heading towards town just fine. Nice work with the jump over the farm so we didn't step on any trees."

Scootaloo grinned. "It took a bit to figure out where the jump button was, but it seems the wheel and these pedal things control the legs and jets. That's good to know."

"Guess we'll figure out what controls the arms later," Sweetie commented. "Uh oh."

Down below, a mare screamed. "Giant metal monster! Run!" Other ponies started screaming as well.

"Chill everyone!" Apple Bloom called out. "It's just us!"

"Cutie Mark Crusade!" the first mare screamed.

"The horror! The horror!" another lamented.

Sweetie Belle's ears dropped. "Are we really that bad?"

Scootaloo shrugged. "Eh." She glanced over the controls. "Let's see what else we can do."

At that moment, the entire mecha started blaring loud noises.

"Turn it off!" Sweetie complained.

"I don't know how!" Scootaloo shouted. "Apple Bloom!"

"I didn't design that!" she yelled back.

Within moments, a swirling blue and white vortex appeared in the sky. Three blue and white mecha dropped out, two larger than the third, the third appearing somewhat more feminine. The third mecha extended a hand, pressing a button on a device it held. The mecha the CMC were riding in stopped its racket.

"Whoa!" Scootaloo gasped. "Where'd they come from!"

A screen on the control panel lit up, revealing a redheaded human face. "The future-" the woman started, then paused. "...what are you?" She shook her head. "Never mind. Give me back my robot, primitives!" The three mecha took combat stances.

Scootaloo blinked. "Primitives? Hey, where do you get off talking to us like that?"

Apple Bloom shook her head. "Is that a...human?"

"Actually," Sweetie speaks up, "according to Equestrian Salvage Law, it is fully and completely our robot." She pauses. "What's a robot?"

The woman talking to them looked flabbergasted. "How can you claim ownership when you don't even know what it is?"

"According to Equestrian Salvage Law," Sweetie explains, "if a boat, airship, or other transport goes unclaimed for one year or greater, anypony can claim ownership if they spend greater than 300% of the initial found value in restoring it to functionality. This 'robot' qualifies as a transport, and was under a huge pile of junk for in excess of 20 years minimum. We bought it for 2 bits, establishing the initial found value. We spent our combined allowance funds - some 200 bits - restoring it to functionality and refurbishing it for our use. That is 10000% of the initial found value, so we own it free and clear."

The woman blinked a bit at this lecture. "And if I wanted to dispute that?"

"Then you would present your case to the nearest representative of the Equestrian Royal Court," Sweetie explained. "That would be Princess Twilight Sparkle, the town's librarian."

"She's our private tutor!" Apple Bloom bragged proudly.

As the woman blinked, obviously shocked at this information, Scootaloo spoke up. "Say, who are you, anyway?"

"I am Commander Kiva Andru of the Earth Coalition." The woman shook her head. "That robot is a very dangerous weapon, and I need it back to save my world from an invading alien race! I sent it through a time warp so that I could pilot it at a pivotal battle in the war against the Glorft, an alien race determined to conquer-"

"Bored now," Scootaloo interrupted. "Pushing random buttons!" She pushed a button on the control panel.

Megas leveled its arm forward and fired its fist at one of the larger white mechs, sending it crashing on top of the Ponyville schoolhouse.

"Wow!" Scootaloo said. "Rocket Punch!"

"Yay!" several young colts and fillies shouted. "Extra week of no school!"

The other mech charged forward towards Megas. Scootaloo quickly spun the wheel, causing Megas to side step. An accidental push of buttons led to Megas grabbing one of the attacking mech's arms, ripping it off, and smashing it with it. "Umm...stop hitting yourself?" Scootaloo offered.

"Nice moves, Scoots!" Sweetie said happily. "Say Apple Bloom, after we beat these robots, think you could fix them so we can each have one?"

"I can try," Apple Bloom offered doubtfully.

"Will you take this seriously?" Kiva demanded, firing energy beams from her mech.

Sweetie slammed her horn into a slot labeled 'horn goes here', and felt a tingle along her horn as her magic fed into the mech. It extended a hand and generated a magic shield, using its own energies to greatly amplify Sweetie's magic. The lasers bounced off the shield, and Kiva's mech barely dodged the return fire. Kiva then sent her mech flying forward in a physical assault. However, as she tried to grab the car based head unit of Megas, Scootaloo pushed a few buttons on one of the controllers. Megas' right hand extended a blade and cut Kiva's mech in half, making it fall to the ground.

"Scoot!" Sweetie complained. "What happened to keeping them in more or less one piece so we could each have one?"

"Sorry!" Scootaloo apologized.

Kiva, having abandoned her mech after it was cut in half, landed in the back seat of the head unit, which was still a standard car seat. She stared at the three CMC. "How...how did you three destroy my drones so easily?"

"Scoot pushed good buttons," Apple Bloom said, pointing at her.

"How did you get to be such a good pilot?" Kiva asked.

"Flight simulators and other fighting games with Rainbow Dash!" she proclaimed happily.

Kiva shook her head, then glanced around at the crazy assembly of controls. "What have you done to my robot?" she gasped, not able to tell one control from another.

"Our robot," Apple Bloom corrected. "And the entire thing was fried, several systems were non-functional, and it was completely missing a control unit. I managed to repair all the damage and reconnect all the systems, while upgrading the power source with a high-density mana crystal. I also connected all the control circuitry to the new controls...though I wasn't sure what all the systems were, so I don't know what does what."

Kiva shook her head. "How could you fix if...never mind. What did you do with the time flux control unit?"

"You mean the thing that was there?" Apple Bloom asked, pointing to the Cutie Mark Crusader Badge stuck on the front dash. "Princess Twilight confiscated it for being too dangerous, and sent it to the Canterlot archives for analysis, archiving, and disassembly. Time travel's dangerous!"

Kiva's jaw dropped. "You...you destroyed it?"

"No," Sweetie corrected. "The researchers at Canterolt University dismantled it. There's a difference."

"I still say I coulda fixed it if Twilight had let me," Apple Bloom complained.

"I thought Twilight said that was why she confiscated it," Scootaloo countered.

Kiva sighed. "Without it, Megas is trapped here in this time period...wherever here is." She hung her head. "And so am I."

The CMC glanced at each other. "Don't feel too bad," Sweetie Belle spoke up. "Ponyville's a great place to live, and everypony's sure to welcome you!"

"But I know you'll miss your family back home," Apple Bloom began, "but-"

"I don't have any family 'back home'," Kiva explained. "Where and when I come from, the Glorft have already conquered Earth, my home planet, and everyone I knew and loved fell in battle against them." She was rather surprised when the three fillies glomped onto her without warning. "Wah?"

"Don't be sad, please," Apple Bloom said, nuzzling her.

"Yeah," Scootaloo spoke up. "You'll never be alone in Ponyville."

"And-" Sweetie slipped, her flank bumping a button on the dash labeled 'Tachyon Beacon Do Not Press'. "Oops!"

"That was the Tachyon Beacon!" Kiva shouted. "The Glorft can find us now!"

At that moment, a seemingly endless swarm of snot green mechs poured from a blue-white vortex in the sky, landing all across Ponyville. The lead one projected a hologram. "Attention Earth dregs! Surrender the war bot, or we vaporize this city!"

"Eww!" all three fillies said as they saw the face of a Glorft.

The alien paused. "...you aren't Earthers. A new world to conquer!"

"Hey!" Apple Bloom shouted. "You ain't conquering nothing today!"

"Time for level 2!" Scootaloo said happily. She began pushing random buttons again.

A rocket popped out of Megas' shoulder, shooting towards the Glorft before arcing upward into the air.

Across town, Pinkie Pie grinned up at the huge pile she had assembled. "Here it is! Equestria's largest collection of bagpipes! And now I'm going to play them all!" She suddenly shivered. "Hang on...ear wiggle, itchy rump, tappy hooves...that's a running gag about to start!"

The rocket slammed into the mountain of bagpipes, vaporizing them.

Pinkie stared at the crater, then pulled out a scroll and quill. "Note to self: invest in large amounts of spare musical instruments."

Scootaloo frowned. "Well, that wasn't first gear." She started pushing other buttons.

In response to the commands, Megas leapt into combat, seizing hold of enemy mechs to rip them apart, smash them into each other, blast them with lasers, or otherwise tear them asunder.

As one leap carried them over the Everfree Forest, Zecora looked up at them. "The fires of inspiration have been lit. But I must ask, where's my two bits?"

Kiva tilted her head. "I thought you said-"

"We ran out of bits before paying for the new head unit," Sweetie said sheepishly.

Megas came in for a landing, making a huge explosion on one Glorft mech that obliterated several others. "Yeah!" Scootaloo shouted out. "How do you like them apples?" She failed to notice that most of Ponyville - with the exception of the Crystal Tree Library, Sweet Apple Acres, and Fluttershy's Cottage - had been leveled, reduced to a dusty wasteland.

At that point, the Glorft commander's mech transformed into a spider-like form.

"Spider!" Scootaloo shouted, looking freaked. She began pushing buttons. "Squish it squish it squish it squish it squish it squish it squish it!"

As she shouted, Megas responded to the button pushes by leaping into the air and proceeding to stomp on the offending mech repeatedly.

"That's it!" the Glorft commander shouted as he managed to push Megas away from his mech. "Send in...the UMD!"

"We're screwed," Kiva lamented as numerous Glorft mechs began combining into a larger and larger mech.

"Why?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I've fought the UMD before," Kiva said sadly. "There's no way to beat it." She looked up as the Commander's mech took the final place at the head of the UMD. "You three fought well, though, for..." She paused. "How old are you three, anyway?"

"Twelve," they said together.

Kiva's eyes widened. "12? You three should never have been in-"

"Hey Sweetie, put your horn back in!" Scootaloo interrupted.

As Sweetie did so, the Glorft commander opened communications again. "Prepare for your doom, pony scum...or flee like chickens."

Scootaloo's brow furrowed. "Alright, that's it! You can smash my robot-"

"Our robot," Apple Bloom corrected.

"You can destroy our town-"

"We did most of that," Sweetie pointed out.

"You can conquer our planet-"

"My planet, actually," Kiva spoke up.

"But nobody calls me chicken!" Scootaloo finished. Almost in response to Scootaloo's anger, Megas launched upward as a blade of Sweetie's magic formed around the right hand and arm. With a single swing, Megas severed the UMD's head unit - composed of the Commander's mech and other components - from the rest of the UMD, causing it to fall over backwards, completely broken. The same colts and fillies from before cheered.

Kiva stared. "...well, that just made all of humanity look like idiots."

"We'll meet again, pony filth!" the commander barked out. "And next time, I'll destroy your world!"

"Bring it on!" Scootaloo shouted out.

As the Glorft leader left, Sweetie Belle glanced down at what was left of the town. "Umm...didn't Applejack say we had to fix whatever we broke?"

"Eeyup," Apple Bloom sighed in resignation.

The three fillies quickly glanced at their flanks. Seeing no defining marks, they all let out a simultaneous "Aww!" much to Kiva's confusion.

A few days later, Apple Bloom stood before the entire town's populous, scratching the back of her head nervously. "Well, I've been working on the issue, and I've got good news and bad news." She turned to Sweetie and Scootaloo. "The bad news is that I wasn't able to restore any of the mechs, so we can't each have our own."

"Aww!" Sweetie and Scoot pouted.

"The good news," she continued, pressing a button on a remote.

Piles of metal and alien tech scattered around town began to shift, taking shape into all the destroyed buildings complete with accurate internal structure. The snot green then faded into the usual coloration of the town buildings.

"The good news is Ponyville now has an auto-repair function," Apple Bloom said, smiling.

As the crowd cheered, Kiva could only stare. Over the past few days, she had seen the level of technology available on this planet, and she had no idea how Apple Bloom could possibly have effected repairs on Megas, let alone this level of reverse engineering of Glorft tech that the very technology that made the UMD work now reassembled the town automatically.

A blast of confetti startled her out of her reverie. "And now that the town's rebuilt," Pinkie Pie shouted, "we can throw Kiva her 'Welcome to Ponyville' party!"

As everypony around her cheered, Kiva turned to Apple Bloom. "What's a...party?" When she heard Pinkie gasp in shock, Kiva regretted voicing her query where the pink pony could hear.