Even after Twilight's spell, Fluttershy still finds herself transforming at night. But instead for apple juices, she wants blood. Each night she sneaks into one of friends homes and tries to drink their blood, which will turn them into bat ponies. Spike has to prevent this from happening. Luckily for him, the CMC are here to help. Now the four of them must evade the turned mane six and warn all of Ponyville before they are all turned into Bat Ponies!
Story idea from: DarknessRising
Cover art by: pixelprism
Chapters (5)
One thing is confusing, is Twilight already a bat BEFORE the meeting or just AFTER they bite her ? Because if she was after they bite her, why did she had the batwings already when she was planning with the other four? Also, you said only five mares,
but then the mane six are chasing Spike, where did AJ come from? And already a bat? So who were they planning to bite then? Just that tiny segment that it's confusing for me.
You should not post an edited first chapter as your second chapter. If you edited your first chapter, you should take down the unedited version and replace it with the edited one.
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'Tis fixed
How about... Winga White?
Excellent job, dude. This chapter was much better than the first IMO and (if you don't already have one) if you're ever in need of an editor I'll be glad to help.
Adjusted for realism:
Vampire Fluttershy; I hwill drink hyoor blood!
Spike: Look, normally I'd love to have a bunch of pretty girls nibbling me, but the bat thing is a bit of a turnoff. Seriously, now, cut it out. You'll just hurt yourselves.
Vampire Pinkie: Hwe are de chiiiildren of de niiight!
Spike: I'm a dragon. I'm nearly indestructible. There is no way your fangs are getting through my scales. Besides, drinking my blood would probably just set you on fire or something.
Vampire Twilight: Hwe thirrrrssst!
Spike: *sigh* Whatever, I'm going to write to Celestia now, I'm sure she can sort this out somehow.
Vampire Rarity: I hwill give hyo de kiss of de vampire!
Spike: Aaaah, Rarity, that's... That's really distracting... Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts...
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5006081 Thanks! I'll be working on the next chapter in a week or so...
How about Pinkie Die?
5010431 Okay... as I said numerous times before (before the comments vanished), I will add Pinkie's vampire name later on in a later chapter.
Now this is better than the previous version. You polished most of the problems out and it feels much more natural. Good work here
Looking forward for more. This story has potential.
5007354 Not sure if this site has a pm system or not, but send me one if you need critic on the next chapter.
5010452 Just a harmless suggestion
5012140 I know...
5011556 Thanks!
Pinkie Bite? Also, instead of screamed, you put down creamed.
Methinks Twilight and them have something more going on, unless I am mistaken?
5012980 Edited now...
5015472 WEll now I dont get payed for editing fby slacking. :)
Nice job on the new version.
5022706 Thanks!
5022774 I thought Batty pie might have been a good nickname for pinkie.
5022785 I'll add it after 2 chapters or so...
5023081 Ok then I can't wait to see what it is and I can't wait for future chapters.
Much better than the previous version. On to the next chapter!
In the picture for the story Rarity doesn't have a horn, Twilight keeps her horn so, idk. Also I love this story!
5092498 I did not notice that... I'm just gonna say that it's hidden behind her mane. Unicorns eep their horns when they're turned yet don't use spells that often.
Looks go- wait, what's this?
I believe you mean discipline.
5092527 Hehehe... didn't notice that... 'tis fixed.
My suggestion would be to regain Twilight, and then defeat and capture mystery guest ponies 1, 3, 9 and 35
Spike and CMC you guys going to have a hard day getting your pals back to normal
If I were you I'd make the next scene where they capture twilight by luring her with one of her favorite books or a letter from princess celestia asking her to go to the library or something and the CMC and Spike manage to get her to reveal the missing part of the cure.
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Thanks for the suggestions!
5093363 It wouldn't be fun without struggles... but, yeah, I agree... they will have a hard time.
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Come to think of it..why havnt they contacted the princesses?
5093524 No problem just throwing my ideas out to anyone.
5093607 Because, it would be no fun... besides, do you see the character tag with Luna on it??? Let's just say that she's gonna be late for the party.
I can't wait for the next chapter
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So scared they completely forget about it. Sounds like Spike and them.
Onward to Chapter 3.
5094558 How about Batie Pie for Pinkie Pie
5111505 In time... I will add her name...
"Okay, I'll get into position." said Scootaloo.
"What are ya talking about? Ah'm obviously the cutest filly." said Applebloom.
"You guys are funny... Everypony knows I'm the cutest crusader." said Sweetie Belle. The three crusaders fought over who of them was the cutest.
SHe may not be havin' the best o' voices, but I be saying that Applebloom be the cutest o' the tree. Then Sweetie Belle and lastly, Scootaloo.
Nice job on the new chapter, and I think it's cool how Twib..Twilight overcame those urges. As for Pinkies bat name...... Batemina Diane Pie? Maybe? Other than that I've got nothin'
How about Battie Pie
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Hmm... Not bad ideas, but I think thateventually a better "perfect"name for Pinkie will come up.
I get the singles that a certain bat is coming...
5395823 Nope... I think... Naw, probably not...
Pinkaforatu
Nopony like Prince Blueblood
5416148 yep have to agree
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Yes, nopony likes Blueblood. He is the worst pony ever. I hope I am not the only one who thinks that he is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY worse than Flash Sentry...