I Cry
Slowly fading into consciousness, a young, tan pegasus falls quietly into the world of Equestria. The curious amount of sunlight that pierced through her windows and the dust-laden air was shocking. Today was brighter than usual. But, seeing as this was her life, the young filly wasn’t going to trust the promise of a new day. Groaning, she lazily rolled out of her bed, back hurting from the firmness of the mattress.
“Ah...! I really need to get a new bed.” She gasped, feeling the kinks in her back staying tense, even after stretching.
A peculiar sense of whimsy rushed her changing body. Perhaps today, she thought, was another day to discover her cutie mark. Brushing her teeth, she stared into the mirror. Disheveled and overall unkempt, her hair stuck out in all different directions. She sighed, annoyed at the idea of having to redo every single little touch-up and technique like she did every morning. Then, again at the idea of having to suffer her prosaic chore till the end of time..
Though, that was a relatively small problem. What she saw next wasn't.
Staring into the mirror, the mare saw her bruised eye. The swollen, blue brand was a reminder of why she tried to stay away from home. It was a brand her father loved to mark her with. To never let her forget that somehow, she was a sick, twisted creation of all the times her mother ‘fucked him over.’
For a few silent moments, she stood entranced and disturbed. Staring back were tired, desperate eyes. They were tired of the abuse and the nights spent with her so-called father, longing to escape into a place far, far away. The deep, unending sea of greyish-purple housed thousands of dead, crushed Stargazers, floating aimlessly in poisoned shores once pure with innocence. Each Stargazer, no matter how hidden or withered, held a dream within its petals. And, when the waters of her soul poured under his malignant sensations, a violent storm would brew.
There, in her lifeless waters, the lilium died one by one, slowly withering away with each broken dream and promise. Eventually, at some point in her life, Scootaloo realized just how strongly she'd grasp these dreams. If anything, she thought, she should've won a blue-ribbon medal. Every day her pathetic excuse of a father loved his mug, he spent the night beating her. At least when he could catch her and insult her self-taken mother..
Stepping out of the waters, she broke her gaze with the mirror and awkwardly resumed brushing her teeth. If she kept on tending to what dragged her down in the first place, she wouldn't have any energy left for crusading.
“Hmmm...” Scootaloo inquired, focusing on the swift, bristly strokes..
Her eyes lit-up. She spit her toothpaste and, with an ecstatic expression, thought aloud.
“Maybe my special talent is brushing teeth!” She yelled.
Little Scootaloo settled down with a lithe, childish frown.
“Wait... that’s kinda lame. Maybe next time, Scoots. Next time...” The filly nodded contentedly, closing her eyes. Grabbing a brush to apply bruise camouflage.
“Oh, hey Rainbow Dash. Who, me? Oh, you. I bet you say that to all your fans.”
------
Shooting her forelegs forward, Scootaloo felt the rush of diving toward earth, the wind whistling in her ears while her mane slicked back, reminding her of the Wonderbolts. Then, she remembered something. She remembered how Rainbow Dash invited her over. Though the last four times were flukes and interrupted by… busy scheduling, Scootaloo felt alive.
“She’s so much cooler than those dorky Blunderbolts. Why doesn't Rainbow Dash just start her own team?” She said to herself, truly appreciating the mare for her dazzling looks and endless capabilities.
Plowing cloud after cloud, Scootaloo's mind raced and whirred, failing to process. Failing, just as well, to realize how close the Earth was She was crashing head-first, and though she still felt tired... Scootaloo had miles to fly. A roaring beat spread her wings, spinning her majestically; the wafting lilium free and gliding effortlessly throughout the brisk, breezy sky. She was just about thirteen feet above Breezy Meadow, hovering in place with a cheery grin on her face... It felt good to be alive.
Gently landing onto the grass, Scootaloo made up her mind about her schedule. For today, anyway. She would go over to Rainbow’s house when the sunset approached. Flustered, she shook her head as a rosy blush engulfed her features. Surely, she thought, the invitation was strictly platonic. Besides, all of those stories they told about Rainbow being a filly-fooler weren't really true... were they?
“Agh-! Quit thinkin' that way, Scoots...! Besides... Rainbow would never go for somepony like you...” They rationalized, finding the whole thing ridiculous.
Stupid idol worship...
------
Applebloom and Sweetie Belle steeled their hooves against the ground, pulling Scootaloo by her cape as hard as possible. Applebloom’s brow furrowed noticeably, hoarsely grunting and speaking through clenched teeth. Dirt stained the three filly’s coats, having been kicked everywhere by the hikes and the scraps between the Cutie Mark Crusaders and stray Timberwolves from earlier. Applebloom was cut on her left cheek, though it was barely noticeable, she had already put a bandage over it.
“Dagnabit, Scootaloo! We told ya to not get yerself stuck between a rock and a hard place!”
Scootaloo struggled to pull herself from a boulder, just barely saved on one, sprained wing, mindful not to try and tear the special crusader’s cloak she’d always kept washed, dried, folded, embroidered and sometimes snuggled at home. She wasn't going to lose her cape; not even if it meant spending a few more hours stuck underneath Tom’s sissy cousin Toby. The rock was about twice her size, though to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, it weighed more than all the weights in Roidrage’s Radical Ripper Re-bulkatorium combined.
Charged with forest-green mana, Sweetie Belle fired her magical buckshot of luminous, biting magicks.
The boulder tore to dust and debris, flying everywhere like stray shrapnel. Lying exhausted beside the pile of rubble, Scootaloo sighed and groaned, letting herself fall into soft dirt behind her. Sweetie Belle smiled sheepishly, stuck between the scorching look in Applebloom’s eyes and Scootaloo’s sprained wing.
“Hey guys, at least we...” Sweetie Belle chimed in, trying to break the tense atmosphere.
Applebloom blew the hair out of her eyes, disgruntled and frowning at the near-death experiences to come.
“Learned not ta go climbin' around a dragon’s lair, where rocks the sahz of manticores can fall on ya at any gosh darned minute?” Applebloom replied harshly, staring purposefully at Scootaloo.
-------
Scootaloo squirmed tensely on the floor, immense pain filling her upper body. There were fresh cuts and bruises on her wings and lower back from the lashings and blows. The explosive ramblings of her father poured extra salt into her now open wounds. Scootaloo tried to cover both her ears and her chest, but ultimately, she had to choose between one or the other.
“You think I keep you around so I can rack up my medical bills, you brat?!”
Her father, a surly pegasus with a disheveled red mane and fiery orange eyes, took another swig of his canteen. The thick, concentrated mist of apple whiskey and nectarine wine filled the room, invading Scootaloo’s nostrils, nearly blocking out the iron stench of blood running down her right nostril. She wasn’t really worried about her muzzle, it was swelling, stinging wing musculature that drove her over the edge. They'd been brutally dislocated and torn in father’s rage. Small tears blurred her visage. Scootaloo stared a lifeless depth into hateful, flaming eyes. Pure. undiluted hatred and resentment mirrored, haunting 'father' with his wife's tell-tale heart.
“You think you’re tough, you little shit?” The beast taunted, emphasizing the sheer volume of his irritation.
As he crept sluggish and dense, Scootaloo poised her hind legs. The beast drew close enough to raise his stony hooves. However, before he knew it, she bucked father's groin, aggravating a sudden tantrum of cursing and groaning. Darting past him, she stopped halfway to the door and spat at equine filth. With another single, quick motion, she stomped on his ribcage with her left hoof. All the years of abuse and degrading punishments had somehow become less of a burden, if only for the satisfaction of making pain come full circle. Though, somewhere inside of her, she knew the lilium weren’t roses, and her soul, though bent and faded, wasn’t littered with thorny, blood-stained pain-hunger.
Darting out of the door, she dashed towards the nearest police station. Tears running down her rosy cheeks, Scootaloo’s heart thumped louder and louder. She was hurt, though not just physically, but deep inside of herself. The very pain of being nothing, to someone who had ultimately been the only one left to lover her, was stinging her. She was just a foal, a young filly not even out of flight school, and yet, for some sick, twisted reason, this had been her entire life. The fits of anger and beatings, every single, little malicious thing that tore at her deep down... It all made her want jump from time to time. Every now and then, she would imagine jumping down into the cold, unforgiving soil and sleeping forever... engulfed in an eternal, silent lullaby.
Reaching the door of the station, she saw a familiar officer standing on guard. The yellow and black uniform stood out firmly against the sleepy shadows that surrounded her. She was a grey pegasus, with sandy blonde hair and a firm, but gentle expression. With eyes that seemed to move away from each other, she turned her gilded gaze onto Scootaloo.
“What’s the matter, Scootaloo? Trouble?” She said, fixing her hat’s visor to face forward.
“I- My dad-! He beat me and-!”
Garbled messiness left her mouth, pants betwixt jagged chest motions and flailing her arms in an effort to explain.
The motherly pegasus put her hoof on Scootaloo’s shoulder, calming her to silence. They entered the station and seated, desk coated with paperwork and various muffin wrappers. Scotaloo took a small sip of hot-cocoa , savoring the sweet, homely taste. Hooves freezing, she put the cup down with a slight thud, still shocked at how cold it had been outside. How could she have forgotten it was the middle of winter?
Folding her hooves over one another, the grey pegasus stared straight at Scootaloo. Shifting in her seat, she asked her a simple question, her words slightly muffled by the electronic cigarette in her mouth.
“Why didn’t you come to me earlier, Scoots?” The pegasues inquired, leaning in a bit closer.
“I-I... I tried, but I always thought he’d kill me. Like... like how he killed mom.” Scootaloo cried, finding herself encased in a reprise of hate and suffering.
“He... He always said that he’d kill me 'sooner or later.' I thought today would be the day and- I-... I hit him back. I didn’t know what to do, so I just... came here. ” The young filly shifted her gaze from her friend to the door beside them.
“I just thought I’d feel safer with you, Ditzy...”
“Don’t worry, Scoots. I won’t let him touch you.” Ditzy moved her left arm to reveal a sleek, black billy club with strange writing on it. It was on her belt at the hip, sitting next to a variety of things that included rainbow spray.
“What do those funny words mean?” Scoots said curiously, looking at the peculiar markings that had been the only distinguishing feature.
“It says oikogéneia. It means ‘family’. Well, technically, it means ‘household’... but it still means just as much to me.” She explained frankly, spinning the billy club on her left hoof. Taking a long drag of her electronic cigarette, she turned her attention to an approaching clack-clack. Standing strong, the young orange pegasus sat in her chair, confident in her friend.
Her father stumbled in through the door, boiling with anger. Not seeing the officer, he lunged toward Scootaloo, ready to beat her senseless once more. From the a blind-sidecorner, Ditzy slammed him into the ground with her hind-legs, bucking him straight onto his back. She cuffed him, dropping her full, crushing density ass-to-spine. He squirmed in useless cursing, bucking and wriggling every, possible way imaginable.
“You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Do you understand?
Anything you do say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”
“ Do you understand?” Ditzy asked calmly,negating his strength without mercy.
“I don’t give a shit, you stupid pig! Get me out of these cuffs!” He shouted, kicking his legs everywhere to no avail. Furrowing her brow, Dizty continued to speak. At this rate, she was hoping he’d resist arrest even more.
“You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. Do you understand?”
“If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. Do you understand?”
Scootaloo’s father had stopped trying to escape. He was seething with rage, yet he knew that if he did anything further, he would spend the rest of his days in the Royal Dungeon. And, from what he had heard, that was never a good place to be. The things that went on in that dark corner of the castle betrayed everything that Equestria, the shining utopia of happiness, stood for. Officer Doo took him by the restrained forehooves and threw him in a nearby cell. With a fiery resentment burning inside, her father ignored the pain. Though, it didn’t hurt to rub his back.
“This is Officer Doo, I’m here at the Fallen Sky Ave. Police Station. We have a suspect in domestic abuse here. We need a few officers and a chariot for transfer, over.”
Scootaloo felt a stinging in her eyes, but ignored it. Instead, she went right up to Officer Doo and gave her a great big hug. Eyes wide for a moment, Ditzy gasped quietly. Then, she wrapped those strong forelegs around the little angel. A warm radiance shone through the hooved cherub, from her eyes to her heart and through the mare’s own. Somehow, it was like an embrace from time itself. So complete. So serene.
------
No luck before, she felt a tightness deep within. Rainbow clearly didn’t want practice, or anything to do with her. Because, so mildly, she wrote a note saying ‘be back tomorrow love ya scoots’. Not with care and time, but something unacceptable. Didn’t her big sister care about her. All those times she’d cheer or say Rainbow was best in all things athletic. Didn’t it count anymore. Ever since the acceptance letter, things were shaky and distant. A breeze woke her snoring misery, setting flame to tired, puffy eyes. Scootaloo put her foreleg up, shielding mane and iris from salty winds.
Strangely, her gaze fell upon Sugar Cube Corner. Of course… Why not Pinkie’s Residence. Maybe they were already finished. The ink from Rainbow’s little note lacked a smearing quality. Wandering thoughts found her curiosity, however, when Scotaloo rubbed her tired eyes. Studying her favorite bakery showed… yellow police tape?
“Oh, hey Applebl-!”
What? She was crying.
“-oom…”
And sitting by herself. Neglecting the milkshake Applebloom offered, the filly sat across her teary friend. It felt wrong to ask what the matter was. The liquid pools and droplets of bitter sorrow spoke of an unmentionable atrocity. Something was tearing the most dependable pony around, and it was far more than anything she’d ever seen before. Her hair was disheveled in all manners of messy. Even the mare’s coat seemed ruffled, despite an absent apple and dirt-stained odor.
Sniffling, the gilded mare spoke in a hurt whisper.
“Oh, h-hey Scootaloo. Ah just got somethin’ in my eye… Did you see mah sis lately?”
There was just so much going through Scootaloo’s head at that moment. For one, her friend had a seriously ill temperament in her. In those eyes of soft gold and similarly, everything else that was usually put together in a stream-lined happiness. Even if a weight borne itself into her gut, the pegasus found the exact opposite of solace in wanting the truth. Because Applebloom herself wasn’t exactly the worst liar in town.
“I-if you want, I can look for her. It’s not that hard, but maybe she’s somewhere bucking apples… Not at the farm, I guess. But maybe she’s bucking a pine tree… for pinecones or something…?”
A humorous answer, if one at all, it drew a chuckle. She happened to do something right, Scootaloo noted, breath suspended. Applebloom had the barest hint of one, iridescent smile. She didn’t know it’s extent. It’s depths unexplored and deeply in need of vibrancy. Nopony did till everything was too late. They hovered about that table, watching stars drown in slow awkwardness. Comfortable, perhaps cutiemark crusaders-esque awkwardness. Scootaloo swept her mane back, sure a good distraction’d do the trick. Putting on her best ‘sleepy eyes’, Applebloom’s… strange filly friend drew a blushed aversion.
“So. You know where Rainbow Dash is? Because I’d like to chat and tell her my super best marefriend needs help at Sweet Apple Acres…” She gruffed, silken and oddly persuasive.
Now that gave her a fright. Her filly friend looked left to right, hoping nopony else lay witness. Scootaloo doing such things to persuade her. What world did they live in. Her chuckle was nervous and earnest, never once fearing a look of rejection.
“Well… I reckon I do. You see, Rainbow’s helpin’ Fluttershy rescue some animals. Cobras er’ somethin’ icky and squiggly. They’re probably done by now, so, try Fluttershy’s for a few minutes. You know how to get there?” Applebloom answered, winking quiet and sister-like.
A glint burst to bloom in little Scootaloo.
“Y-yeah! Kay, thanks bye!” She scrambles, a blur of dust and wheels in departure.
By her lonesome, the gilded filly sighs. What was so hard about staying in one place. Sure, most ponies couldn’t read books those days… but, why couldn’t they hold a conversation. She craved attention somewhere steep, gazing over to woods lovely, dark and deep. Where was sister, so to speak. She wanted to trot home. Trot to comfy sleep. But, she’d promises to keep. And miles to go before she’d sleep.
And miles to go before she’d sleep.
---------
The Everfree rang a foul odor. Shaky, little gusts of timberwolf trails and manticore droppings struck Scotaloo like no tomorrow. Hacking takes her ears and little Scootaloo learns the meaning of ‘stay away from nature’. She never understood camping. Or, by extension, the need to charge into danger so rife with malevolence. Not anymore. After the last stake-out in deep, dark and tenebrous woods, she was through with princess nature.
Sudden noise perked her ears, faintly traced to vocals. Mares. One shy. One gruff. Finally, she whispered deep inside, so to smile and beam with pride. Rainbow finally arrived. Though, strangely, both were tried and tuckered. More so that banana-esque pegasus wobbling in her knees. ‘Wait’, Scootaloo whispered, focusing both, moisture-devoid eyes. Fluttershy wasn’t walking. Her virtual aunt was hobbling.
She galloped over, heart drumming beneath the silence. Above wet, dew-slick grass and scents of bubble soap dear and near. For once, Scootaloo slid to stop and stared a wide-eyed stare.
Was that… blood on her left foreleg?
“Wh-what…? Fluttershy, wh-what happened?” The filly murmured, stopping time.
Rainbow, in her mint condition, answered best she could. No doubt, they stopped and wrapped some bandages over her injury. DIrty and crusted with Everfree hostility, her idol huffed with friction.
“It’s… You know… It’s like this. We’re okay, but, you might wanna stay away from the forest. Ever since we lost the Tree, the Everfree’s been fucking horrible. Can you hold this for me?”
What…? Her mouth gaped, ringing ears and nostrils alike from iron scents and morose descent. Whatever went between her teeth, Scotaloo held. Because, though the splint was makeshift and riddled with tiny, splintered thorns, nopony ever spoke that way. Even her father had the excuse of being drunk and riddled with parental abuse. But, to hear an angel sing her grace’s swan song was… hollow.
“Sorry, squirt… I-I shouldn’t be talkin’ like this. But, I just flew a whole forest full of nightmares. Me and Fluttershy were rescuing snakes. Soon as we got there, a whole mess of things hit us. Bumble Fever. Vitae Leechers. Then, that manticore with no eyes. We, uh… Then, we…” She started to choke, gently applying layer after layer of sweet, bathing white.
“We kinda panicked, you know…? Applejack got there and the manticore had her leg, then her flank- it’s just- it’s so fucked up, you know- it’s so fucked up-!”
A sob took her mane and each noise cracked her throat. Another. Then, another. Rainbow stuttered full, vivid exhales, shaking and taking Fluttershy’s splint to fix. To fix something she could’ve halted all along. And, in her noiseless soul, she realized Scootaloo, her biggest support out of Pinkie’s cheer, was right all along…
“I should’ve been there… I should’ve been there. I was too busy ‘living the dream’. First Pinkie- then Applejack and Fluttershy and… and then, you. I let you down. I did it over and over cause’ I was too busy with my own life. It’s always me, me, me…” Her god whispered, watching pyre die in winter’s grasp.
Scootaloo shed her tears. She shed every, single one for someone so bullied by fate. Near and dear to Rainbow’s heart, loyalty fractured long ago. And now, it was all but scattered. Whistling, whinnying wind washed their worried wrinkles. Scootaloo, windswept and innocent. Fluttershy, silent and water. Rainbow Dash, passionate and callous. Workings of a world abandoned.
Cardiac pain took her heart. The child, no older than eleven years in faraway measures, gazed skyward.
Yes… Rainbow left her. Rainbow left her like all the others. That was her answer even before cyan descent. That was why Scootaloo had her childish fantasies. Little, nagging dreams of waking wet against her sheets. ‘Sister’, she sobbed without a sound.
Sisters were always there. Scootaloo chased her idol. A crush was far away, climbing towers gold and dreamy. That was why, in her flies Rainbow’s eyes wet her thighs. Another mare to leave her. Somehow. Somewhere. She looked back to savor angel’s luminescent water.
Sniffling brought memories of fire-side beatings.
“Didn’t know you drinked, Rainbow Dash…” The child whispered, watching night fall.
-----
“Are you sure about this…?” Ditzy hushed, smiling straight-eyed.
“Of course I am… I-I don’t wanna live with her. I’m done wanting a sister. Just gimme a mom. Gimme a family-” Scootaloo whispered, covering her lips.
Those eyes. Gilded, vibrant moons watching her every crinkle. Her every frown and ache deep within. Sometimes, the world gave to innocence and fed it faith. Hopeful things like dogs rescued by regular, working ponies like Officer Doo. Only, it was time to hang her wings up. A child could only take so much. Innocence could only take so much before it twisted and cannibalized. Scootaloo wanted to watch the sun rise. Was that so much to wish for, she cried, shaking in bitter winter. In her world without any sky, she fluttered down because hearts were cold.
“Great…! Let’s pack your things~!” The officer cheered, raising so vigorous, white files flew their fluid, floor-fallen finality.
“W-what…?”
Ditzy Doo ruffled her pygmy mane, straightening windswept locks to natural, little curls. At first, she felt rosey. Insecure because why did someone’s mother touch her. Wasn’t it wrong to be so sudden and close. Surely…
“You heard me, silly~” Ditzy giggled, coaxing a trembling cry.
She wobbled and sniffled something scarred. Breathing water rushed her eyes and sweet music kissed her soul. Was she dreaming. Did Scootaloo die that morning and find an angel’s meadow.
A knight held her tears chest-smeared to ward the fears of parents’ leers, holding grace among her scrunching face with angel’s pace in slowing race of iambic pentameter within her chest-based vase. Ditzy Doo watered her lilium and set them aside, planting each a grave. Only, this time, rushing waves made her smile. Mother kissed her scalp and planted petunias, daisies and wish roses.
“Don’t cry, Scootaloo… Mommy’s here.”
The End.
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4977750 Thank ya kindly, articulated friend. I'll go on and fix it right now.
wow
4977794 Well, uh, thank ya kindly amazed friend.
Haven't read a Scootaloo story that enjoyable in a long while. That was just plain good.
4977911 Thank ya kindly, hopeful friend. You're a welcome whisper.
Does she like to grababrushandputonalittlemakeup?
4977924 The real question is, why did she leave her keys upon the table?
4977937
4977924
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNOOOOOO
MUMBO JUMBO!
rainbow beat scootaloo?! by Faust, who would ever make a child go through all of this?
oh, and is 'drinked' supposed to be 'drank'?
4978378 Um... I try to focus on realistic dialogue. A kid her age and her disposition wouldn't have perfect speech all the time, yeah?
And, that was actually a figurative parallel.
In being abandoned one, more time, Scootaloo realizes why angels deserve to die. So, instead of worshiping her, she knows Rainbow without the glamour.
Abandonment. Drinking. Selfish tendencies. A child will draw comparisons between parent figures and, in this instance, she's saying 'you're no better than my Dad'.
4978397 oooh. see, i love reading stories like this, but sometimes parts of them just go right over my head. thank you for the clarification.
"It tore me apart. But I learned an important lesson. You can't count on anyone, especially your heroes," Syndrome/Buddy Pine.
Yeah, I'm sure that Scoots is feeling what Buddy felt on some level, but then again Buddy had supportive and caring parents. In almost every Scootaloo story I've ever ready she either has the worst possible parents, been abandoned, or her parents are dead. There are a few, very few, stories in which she has amazing parents. That said, even though this is working within the Scootadopt genre I enjoyed it. I felt that it painted a realistic picture of seeing your hero in their worst moments.
For Scoots it had to be eye opening to know that no matter what happened from this point on her idol wouldn't be an idol anymore. Rainbow Dash become a real pony. She wasn't this above it all mare, but instead she was just flesh and bone.
Good story. I give you a like and a favor.
nice System of A Down reference its a good song
4978522 Thank ya kindly, Namek-Destroying friend. I'll keep that well-thought text-to-text connection somewhere safe.
4978536 Thank ya kindly, paper-eating friend.
Might as well post the reference:
4980910 KEKMATE!
This was pretty good. Liked and faved
I vaguely remember this song, I feel like it was in an anime or something... Regardless, good story, I loved the rhyming interludes. Keep up the good work.
4981433 Thank ya kindly, psijic friend. What possessed you to come read another sad/dark fic's beyond me, though~
4981461 Thank ya kindly, literature-studied friend. Rhyming's my favorite scheme. No unexpected theft. No crime. No deadline. Just your soulfulness.
4981548 Meh its just my mood today
4981548 Plus I'm trying to clear out my read later list, yesterday I managed to clear 20 stories off it
Sweet Celestia, I am reading too much. Damn you Twilight Sparkle!!!
pie...
5006863
5006863 Life is bittersweet, but sweetest in clarity.
This is going on my favorites list.