Whose Line: MLP

by Harbinger Of Mist

Remembrance/Veterans Day Special Part 3: Bartender

Welcome back! Now, let us move onto our final game before these guys need to leave.

Aw! I would very much like to stay for another Scenes From A Hat.

That is months away. If we do it too often, it will stop being special.

Fair enough.

I am willing to do Hoedowns fairly often, but I don't want you guys to hate me. So let's finish off your visit with a game called "Bartender"! Gryphon, you're gonna be standing up here at this bar counter we have on the stage, you're going to be the guy serving drinks to the other three at your bar. Firebrand, Tweak and Silvermane will be coming in one at a time, and they will sing about their problems to Gryphon, and he will give his thoughts or advice on their matters in the same fashion.

Why am I the one who has to do the most singing? I do my best when I have a script. And Applebloom.

Then it should be a barrel of laughs to see you mess up. Let's start with Silvermane. Audience, what is Silvermane frustrated about?

... Those damn kids won't get off of his lawn!

Haha! Those damn kids... won't get off of your lawn.

We get it!!

*Audience boos*

Every part needs a pooper, that's why they invited you...--why they invited me...

Party pooper... party pooper...

Ahem! Now, whenever you're ready Silvermane, Wing Maid. Take it away.

---

Can you smoke in here?

No. Leave it outside, if you please.

Listen to me
I have been dealing with something for the past week now
I cannot handle it - anymore
I need to get rid of them, but how?
You see these kids
Are treating my lawn like a theme park
I tried everything
I even wagged my cane and barked
They left an hour ago
I just know that I'll see them later
The last thing I heard them say was
"Cutie Mark Crusader aeratoooors"

I see - Those three
Don't seem to know how to take a hint
I suspect they only do it
Because you're too frail to sprint
But I know what you can do
This whole thing doesn't have to be a bummer
If you're good with words - and you can afford it
Why not give them a job over summerrrrr?

---

*Audience cheers*

Well done! See? You don't need your marefr-- partner.

*Audience oohs*

...O-or a script. Uhh, Tweak! Come on up! Now Tweak is excited about something. What is he excited about?

*Audience shouts incoheretly* ... Take your kid to work day!

Take your kid to work day! Tweak, you're excited about take your kid to work day. A rather specific one, I suppose they were just waiting for the opportunity.

Or maybe the author--

Hush. Now whenever you're ready...

---

Oh wow! Fifty percent off today?!

Yes! The usual, my friend?

Please...

Oh boy - Today's the day
I'll need more than one round for this!
My privates are--...
I cannot believe how much I miss
I need to watch my mouth
For their kids are gonna be there
While their daddies are running the course
I'll be sure to beware
I'll do something special
Yes! I can do that
I'll let your marefriend be sergeant for a day
So long as she doesn't break my hat

Oh my
This is new
I've never heard of this
But it seems you know what to do
Drill sergeant for a day
Sounds rather fun
Give her two of her own hats
So that I can have one
I have an idea of my own
Now don't take offense
I think we should make a song for you
To use as a marching cadence

---

*Audience cheers*

Alright! Very nice! Now Firebrand. Firebrand is afraid of something--

Me!

Harhar...

His fangirls?

No. Let's get a-- Actually... Yeah!

Nooo...

Forget the audience. Firebrand is scared of his fangirls!

No no no!

Take it away!

---

Gah!

Why the long face, stranger?

Graaaargh!

Want something to drink?

I don't need a drink - I want time to think
A mare I know seems to love me a bit too much
I've been running and hiding - and in you, I'm confiding
Don't you make jokes on the matter and such
I see hearts in her eyes - her lust, it never dies
She keeps waiting for me to answer her call
It's times like this - that I wish
I acquired a taste for alcohooool

My friend...
You should be flattered
To choose over fear and a cute mare (meh)
I think I would take the latter
Frankly, dear boy
She could be one to make you dance
Are you not the kind of guy
Who gives everything a chance?
But since you're not a proper patron
You're not gettin' much help from me (So I've seen)
But here's a glass of ice - and some advice
...FireRose OTPeeeeeeee

---

*Audience cheers wildly*

Very nice!

Ahahahaaa! Yes...

I should probably put that on my own video.

You better ship your butt back out to sea if you know what's good for you.

Oh, there WILL be shipping, my flaming friend.

Uhh... Gryphon.

Yeah?

Run.

Huh? Oh. Flaming. *Bolts from behind bar and gets chased backstage*

And that is all from our esteemed guests, give them a round of applause everyone!

*Audience gives extended standing ovation*

*Firebrand and Black Gryphon reappear*

Now, if you guys don't mind... Front and center!

Oh no...

No, don't worry, I'm not gonna do that. Before you go, it's only fitting that we all give a proper farewell. Everyone, salute!

*Everyone in the studio raises their front-right hooves and touches them to their foreheads with knees out to the side*

Thank you all for being here, it was a great pleasure. Thank you for your service, here at the studio, and most importantly out in the world doing what you do best. To the four of you specifically, Semper Filly! And to everyone else, we will be right back with our usual band of misfits, don't go away!

Author's Note:

Once again, a big shout-out to the guys over at FOBEquestria. Be sure to give them your support.

Edit: Dec 08 2014 - Josh has quoted his verse (possibly indirectly) on his tumblr

Comments

[The Fiery Joker]

That ship is never gonna die, is it?

[The Fiery Joker]

Thanks

[Jake The Army Guy]

I do my best when i have a script. And Applebloom.

Thanks a lot, jerk. Now I have to explain to everyone in my shop why I fell out of my chair laughing!

Thank you for this honor, friend. And a salute to every soldier, sailor, airman, Marine, and Coast Guardsman deployed overseas. Our prayers are with you. Come home safe.

5256067

Nope!

[Harbinger Of Mist]

5256226 "Come home safe"?

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Jake The Army Guy]

5256973

Yeah, to every deployed service member. Come home safe.

[Harbinger Of Mist]

5256983 Ah. For some reason, I thought you thought I was in the military, too.

[Harbinger Of Mist]

5256078 You are quite welcome.

It means a lot, coming from you.

[Harbinger Of Mist]

5256007 Hm. I don't quite recall a Futurama reference. Did I make one unintentionally?

Edit: Nevermind, I finally got around to re-reading it.

[Harbinger Of Mist]

5257838 I recommend checking them out.

[Europa]

That was great. Cutie Mark Crusaders, and the last 'FireRose OTP' caught me out of left field.

[Harbinger Of Mist]

5258018 It's a popular ship for them, even outside their community.

[TSLsmokey]

small idea. Perhaps you could try doing some outtakes where the censor stepped in when things got out of hand?

Real example from show.

[Harbinger Of Mist]

5276305 I did that in Hollywood Director. But I only kept it in as part of the actual game because I thought it kinda fit.
I've been thinking of doing a separate fic that includes deleted scenes that got too raunchy for a "teen" rating. But I thought it wouldn't have enough substance. Heck, some of the stuff I have in here wouldn't make it onto the actual show. I'm kinda pushing it.