Chapter 2
Saturday: my eyes flutter open and the first thing I notice is that pinkie pie has yet again cuddled up to me in her sleep and has my arm in a stranglehold to the point where the limb has fallen asleep. She probably sleeps with a body pillow or a stuffed animal of some sort. I slip my numbed arm out of her grasp and look at the clock to see It's ten to seven. Normally on a Saturday I’d just roll over and go back to sleep until noon, but today I have seven guests and I decide to play the gracious host and make a breakfast of bacon and eggs with pancakes. I’m only half finished before spike has followed his nose to the kitchen.
“Hey dude. How'd you sleep?” Spike yawns and rubs his eyes.
“good. What cha making? It smells better than anything I’ve ever smelled.” I was a bit surprised at that. It's easy to forget your friend is actually a dragon from a world where ponies are the dominant species. Looking back it seems pretty obvious he'd never had bacon before seeing that he lives among herbivores and can survive on precious gems and vegetable matter. I tried to explain what bacon was but rainbow dash stepped into the kitchen before I could. She looks around in a daze before her half asleep eyes find me. I found myself blushing at her half-lidded gaze with one of my t-shirts hanging off her slim shoulders. It seemed unusually erotic, and I half expected her to mumble something about “nii-san”. Maybe I’ve been on my own for a little too long.
“Breakfast and coffee will be done in a few minutes Dash. Can you get the others up for me?” Rainbow Dash nodded and turned around to get the girls wordlessly, her tiny feet lightly making small slapping noises against the tile floor of the kitchen until she got to the tatami mats.
Spike shrugged. “Weird.”
“Hm? What's weird spike?” I asked.
“Well, I just think I’m going crazy, because up until now I’d never thought of rainbow dash as 'cute'. But just now, well...” He shrugs.
“Haha! I know what you mean. Women have a unique talent for looking younger than they are. If it weren't for her overall proportions I’d swear Dash was even younger than you. She's a loli alright...” I chuckled.
“A loli? What's that?”
I freeze in place, realizing my mistake. “Uhhh... just a girl who looks like, or is a really cute preteen or little girl, but I wouldn't use the word if I were you. It's kind of a geek term so most people won't know what it means.” spike raises an eyebrow, but he nods and turns to rejoin the girls in the living room. Soon after twilight pokes her head into the kitchen to ask if I had spare toothbrushes, which I don't. Well, not enough. “um... it's Saturday, so let's just skip the teeth brushing until I can pick up some more brushes.” she nods and I finish breakfast that has been eagerly awaited at the coffee table. Thank god for paper plates and plastic utensils and cups. You always have enough for guests.
About half way through breakfast twilight gets curious and asks what the bacon is. I swallow the food in my mouth and explain that it's pork. “Well what's pork?” spike asked, his earlier curiosity about the dish rekindled.
“It's pig.” The room goes absolutely silent before fluttershy faints. Rarity swoons but maintains consciousness, falling into spikes arms. The others just stare at their plates like they just told them they're cannibals. Which by their standards probably wasn't far from the truth. Who knows if pigs are sentient too in their world.
“Look, I get that this must seem like a weird thing for you guys, but humans are omnivores and-” Rainbow Dash cuts me off before I can explain further.
“Omni-what-now?”
“An omnivore is an animal that requires nutrients from meat and vegetable matter, so they eat veggies when they find them and also hunt other animals as well.” Twilight explains. “Examples from Equestria include dragons and even some ponies who choose to partake in omnivorous diets.”
my eyes nearly popped out of my skull at her last comment. “W-what?!! there are ponies that eat meat?!! I mean I guess I shouldn't be surprised since there are humans who choose to be vegetarians but... what the ever loving fuck?!! I thought meat was bad for horses!” I exclaim.
“Well technically it is because of the fat content of most meats, which is much higher than the nutritional requirements of the average pony.” Twilight explains. “ However I haven't heard of any other adverse health effects so long as it's only a small part of the ponies diet used to supplement their protein intake.”
Her explanation made sense and I told everyone they didn't have to eat their bacon if they didn't want to. There was plenty of pancakes and eggs to fill everyone but I was actually impressed when twilight decided to finish her bacon. I had not pegged her as the type to dive head first into a new experience, but there she went, chowing down and making “yummy” noises.
Later as I washed the dishes with spike, I start thinking about the water bill with seven more people in the house, which makes me think of the electricity bill, and the grocery bill, and the sleeping arrangements from now on, and all that and I realize-and blurt out “I can't afford that shit!!!” Spike jumped at my outburst and accidentally shot a fireball which ricocheted off the frying pan he was drying and hit the tile wall behind the sink, thankfully not lighting anything on fire. I stared in horror at the young man that had just hiccuped a fiery ball of death. “Oh great,” I mutter “one more thing to worry about.”
after I finished the dishes I called everyone to the living room for a meeting to discuss expenses.
“Alright everyone, I need you all to listen for a minute. I don't know how things work in Equestria, but here on earth you need money to pay for just about everything. Now, I work for Mrs. Yamashita, and she takes the rent for this apartment out of my paycheck. But I still have to pay for the food I buy and the utility bills that pay for my water, gas, and electricity.” the girls nod and I continue. “the problem is I can't afford to pay for eight people's living expenses. I need at least some of you to get steady jobs. Thankfully we live near a mall so jobs shouldn't be in short supply with holiday hiring going on. So today I’m going to buy one outfit for each of you, spike included, and then we're going to go apply to some jobs okay?
Thankfully things are much the same in Equestria as far as living expenses go, so the girls and Spike were very understanding and eager to set the plan into motion. I made my way downstairs through the shop and as I did I saw Mrs. Yamashita coming in with two arm fulls of material. “Oh! Geiben san, come help me get these up to your apartment!”
I was a bit dumbstruck but at the same time curious so I just said the first thing that came to mind as I grabbed the material so she could get more from her car. “what are these?”
“they're kimono. I never wear them and you told me those people you have over lost their luggage so I thought I’d bring them so your guests could have something to wear.” she explained, referring to my weak explanation that the girls and spike were friends from Canada who had lost their luggage at the airport.
Mrs. Yamashita never ceases to amaze me with just how generous she can be. She never lets you leave her without something to remind you that there are not only decent people, but modern saints in this world. Provided she likes you. I’ve seen first hand what she can do to a grown man with a broom.
The girls were a little surprised when I brought the kimono in but were quick to join in lugging the garments up to the apartment. After the clothes were piled in the middle of the living room Mrs. Yamashita shooed Spike and I out to the stairs that led to the shop, saying it wasn't right for boys to watch pretty girls getting dressed. “And don't you DARE peep!” she says before closing the door behind her. Was she daring us to try? Better not to take the chance.
Twenty minutes later Mrs. Yamashita opens the door again, calling spike and I in to get dressed as well. “what? Mrs. Yamashita, why do I need to get dressed too? I have clothes.”
the old Shriveled Japanese woman gave me a look and simply asked, “you don't want to match all the pretty girls?” That was enough for me. I'd always liked Japanese clothes, so it wasn't like I was complaining, just confused. I already knew how to put on a mens kimono myself and selected a black number and a navy blue belt with gold embroidery, which Mrs. Yamashita insisted I accent with the black hakama pants with a gold fish scale pattern. I then put my long brown hair up in a top knot to complete the look. While I was getting dressed myself, Mrs. Yamashita had set spike up in a dark green kimono with dark brown hakama and a deep purple belt.
Once we were dressed she called the girls in from the kitchen and my jaw hit the floor. I couldn't believe that the girls who I already thought were beautiful had now gained an exotic elegance.
The first to come out was rarity, wearing a white kimono that hugged her curves with a black sash and sapphire blue length of cord holding it around her waist. Her hair, normally a very intentional set of coils hanging to the right of her face, was now arranged into a bun atop the crown of her head, with smaller coils sticking out randomly.
Next was twilight wearing a purple kimono with a kirin embroidered on the front near the bottom hem with lavender thread and a lavender obi belt with a hot pink cord securing it. Her flat cut hair had been left loose and it looked very good on her.
Pinkie pie literally bounced out of the kitchen after Twilight wearing a bright pink kimono that didn't go past her knees and showed a lot of cleavage, (apparently it had belonged to Mrs. Yamashita's fourteen year old granddaughter) with pale cherry blossom petals printed on, and a cherry red sash. Her wild and curly hair was up in a simple ponytail.
Fluttershy came out after pinkie and looked absolutely mortified in the yellow kimono that was very prominently open and showing a lot of her ample bosom simply because it wasn't big enough to wrap around her breasts fully. I could see her orange obi straining to hold the robe closed as she hid behind her hair which the back of had been wound into a bun, leaving the front to frame the right side of her face like it usually did.
Applejack was convinced she looked ridiculous because the hem of her emerald green kimono couldn't reach past mid calf on her. Her obi was black with a koi fish embroidered on in gold thread. Her hair was in a braid that hung over her left shoulder and served to make her look even taller.
When applejack finished her turn to show off we waited for rainbow dash but she refused to come out until pinkie had to drag her out. The sky blue kimono suited her but the fact was it was simply much too long for her. In order to make it fit Mrs. Yamashita had to fold excess cloth under the rainbow patterned obi so that the folds hung down to mid thigh on her. It was only because she'd claimed that “Pink is waaaay too girly for me!” that pinkie was wearing the pink kimono instead of rainbow dash.
To finish off the outfits Mrs. Yamashita gave us all straw sandals from the shop for free and with that we were off to the mall. Our group got a loot of different looks, from excitement, to jealous, lust, confusion, and even slight disgust towards pinkie and fluttershy. I can't exactly say why but I got very protective of the girls when the looks of disgust came their way. I mean, never let it be said that I don't stand up for my friends, but I’ve never glared so hard at someone they actually ran away for fear of what I might do over a dirty look. However after that our group went unmolested as we went from store to store, grabbing applications here and there but mostly being told to go online to apply at the company site. Never the less we scored an interview for everyone and with a little coercion (not hard when you put a beautiful girl in front of a middle aged man) all the girls had jobs waiting for them on Monday.
Fluttershy was working for Petsmarket, rarity was working for Spendless shoe store, applejack and pinkie were baristas at Sunbucks coffee, rainbow dash was in shoes at Big 4 Sporting goods, and twilight works in Barney & Nobility. Even spike got a job assisting Mrs. Yamashita, who took a liking to him right away, calling him “Bozu-chan”. An apt name meaning “little punk” or “punky”, seeing as spike's mohawk made him look like a punk rocker.
Since everyone had gotten a job in the span of a day with fake social security numbers my friend from a law firm had cooked up, I decided we should celebrate. We had cake and pizza, (only one of the six I ordered had meat to appease the girls aversion to meat, while leaving plenty of meat lovers for Spike and I to enjoy) and after Spike got tired I brought out my stash of rum and coke, and led the girls out to the balcony.
“A toast! To employment, and your future wardrobes!” I cried, raising my glass. The others cheered their agreement and clinked their glasses with mine. Apparently the rum was a bit strong for Rarity , Fluttershy, and Twilight, who set down their glasses after one sip, but Rainbow and Applejack chugged theirs like champs. I swiftly cut everyone off at one glass before something got started.
That night we all went to bed in much the same way as the night before, but this time the girls didn't want to put spike and I out in the cold again, so it ended up with 4 to a futon length wise with our feet were hanging over the edge of the mattresses. Spike was with Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack, while I shared with Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie who had already latched onto my arm as soon as her head hit the pillow.
I took one last look at the clock which told me it was one in the morning and wondered if having seven room mates would be so bad. And then I remembered we only had one bathroom...
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Here's the thing, most self-inserts like this one, gets flak for some reason? But the only advise I can give you is keep on writing your story and what you believe in. I'll be looking out for your progress, in the meantime, try to get more chapters done.
A little grammar and spell check could be good too.... Then again, I get mistakes about grammar and spelling as well
4987756 Thank you. I'll definitely keep working on this and I Hope you enjoy What's to come.
I'm actually finding I am enjoying the reading. Excellent job. I've said before, if you are going to go cliche, make it your own. And you have. Excellent job, and I'm looking forward to more updates as they appear!