• Published 7th Sep 2014
  • 1,730 Views, 91 Comments

Another Sappy HiE Fic - exsnaggerwes



A human finds his way to the portal on Earth and travels through to Equestria. Only he's no longer human. Is it really such a loss? And can he pursue a relationship there?

  • ...
15
 91
 1,730

Regrets

“Is it okay for him to eat that?” Rainbow queried. “You know what it is, right?”

“Yes, I know exactly what it is, and I know he'll love it, now hush.”

I feel something cold on my tongue and close my mouth around it once I'm sure Umbra's wing is clear. The ponies had me close my eyes to try something, and I gained no hints from the smell as my nostrils were covered as well.

“Now chew.”

I immediately realized by the texture and flavor what I had just bitten into. “Sushi?”

“That's right! You have that back on Earth?”

“Some of my friends can't get enough of the stuff, but I'm not so crazy about-” I trail off, feeling a burning sensation on my tongue. The prankster put way too much wasabi on it, making it the second spiciest thing I had ever tasted. The spiciest had been something I confused for a string bean once at a Chinese buffet. To this day, I'm still not sure what I actually ate.

I tried to wash away the sting with my cider, but it wasn't my best idea. That only made it burn more. Umbra started snickering and Rainbow Dash was already doubled over in a fit of giggles. The young dragon lady from the bar was mysteriously standing by with a pitcher of water and a few glasses. She generously poured me one after another until I recovered some feeling in my mouth, then returned to the bar, rolling her eyes and saying something in a tongue I didn't recognize.

“Was it too intense for you?”

“No, it was quite refreshing, thank you,” I replied sarcastically. To which Umbra snickered some more.

“Sorry friend. Honestly, it was an accident, I just didn't want to make you wait so I left it there. I'll make it up to you somehow, or you'll just get me back.”

“If he ever has enough time to,” Rainbow interrupted.

“What do you mean?”

“He's from the portal, that thing is only open for 3 days at a time, every 40-”

“30.”

“… 30 moons. He's going to have to go back sometime soon, isn't he?”

“Actually, I've been wondering the same thing. Celestia made it seem like you had all the time in the world. She even set you up with 'temporary' living quarters outside of Canterlot. Frankly, I'm surprised you even made it out of the Crystal Empire without being sent back. How are you going to make it back?”

“I don't plan to,” I reply coldly.

Both ponies give pause, then Umbra begins again.

“What do you mean you don't plan to?”

“Failure to plan is planning for failure. Don't make a fledgeling mistake and end up stuck here forever,” Rainbow said. They were stunningly wise words to come from pegasus who never seemed to pay attention to those sort of things.

“She's right, Wes. Vacations can't last forever. Sometime you do have to go home.”

“This is my home now.”

“No, Wes. You don't get it. Home isn't simply where you decide it is. You have to make more than just a conscious decision that somewhere is your home and it be so. Home is where your family is. It's where your heart belongs.”

“Exactly. I'm not going back to a place where I'm not wanted. I want to be surrounded by ponies that care about each other and get along without some ulterior motive. I told you how bad my home was, didn't I?”

“No, Wes. You didn't. I get that some bad things may have happened to you in the past, but you have to leave them there. I can't believe that your home life was so bad that you had to leave the planet just to get away. I refuse to believe that. Did your parents beat you?”

“…. No.”

“Then what was the problem, Wes? There's something you're not telling us.”

At that statement, Rainbow began to fidget nervously.

“I...” I was at a loss for words. Earth was a terrible place to live, how could I convince them?

“For the love of- Wes, if you tell me that this was about a girl, I swear to Luna I will make you regret it.” Umbra rested a hoof over his muzzle.

“It's not,” I hastily answered. “Not entirely, at least. Hear me out.”

“Look, Wes. The world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. The sun sets, and the rain clears. We have our separate nations and we have our own problems and affairs with them. The world isn't just some big ball of fluff like you make it out to be. If everything were perfect, wouldn't you think something was a little off? Something's off with you, Wes, and I can't put my hoof on it.”

Rainbow sipped her drink quietly, blushing.

“The royal guard isn't just some flashy front the princesses put up to show off power to the other nations. We serve a purpose, generations old. Even the lunar guard hasn't been idle this whole time. Believe it or not, Equestria's biggest threats don't live in the Everfree Forest, or even in Tartarus. Keeping peace and running a country is exactly as difficult here as it is anywhere else. I wish there was something I could do to convince you that what you're chasing does not exist. Escapism is only the beginning of something even more frightening, and I don't want to keep the company of a mentally unstable pony, especially in the presence of my princess.”

I remained silent.

Umbra heaved a sigh. “At least tell me this; what's so great about seeing a city in the clouds first-hand if your mind has already been here for so long?”

“It's complicated, Umbra. You wouldn't understand.”

“Try me.”

“I've never been able to fly before.”

Umbra cut me off, “Boy, I bet that's exciting. What did you give up for that?”

“Oh, right. Sorry, I should have remembered that you used to be a unicorn. But you know yourself! You had magic. Magic is such a beautiful thing!”

“From what you told me before of your electricity, it's not much of a sight. Surely you miss something from home?”

“My hands, maybe, but they're a worthy sacrifice.”

“What about this?” Umbra asked pulling a flat black box from hammerspace and hoofed it over.

“To be completely honest, I forgot about this thing. I swore I destroyed it before coming through, or at least shortly after. Where did you get it?”

“I was entrusted to deliver your effects from Canterlot. Princess Twilight herself labeled this as a communication device. I don't personally see the draw to it, but she seemed to have an interest in it. She said she's never seen a human let one out of their sight, and it was important to their social well-being.”

“She would be right, though I can't see much of a use for it here without a signal.” On a whim, I pressed the button on the face, unable to find the dexterity to press one of the small side keys. The screen lit up revealing that I had 7 new messages, which was strange considering there was obviously no way for a signal to reach anywhere in Equestria. I put in my pin code with a wing, which took several tries, then checked the messages. All were from 3 people, all saying about the same thing.

*Where are you?*

*What happened?*

*Are you okay?*

And then the last one… from my oldest friend.

*We're coming*

“No.”

“What? What is it?” Rainbow asked, peering over to the device.

“They're probably here by now. I can't let them find me.”

“Now we're getting somewhere!” Umbra announced triumphantly. “Now, can you please tell me what it is that's got you this spooked? Talk to me. I promise I'll understand.

“Umbra, this place is heaven to me. This is the paradise I couldn't have even dreamed. Your world has its dangers, just like mine has its, but I want to get away from my past. I made mistakes, just like everyone else has, and I don't want them haunting me for the rest of my life. I just want to start over new, and I can't do that with my past demons always looking over my shoulder. I have to destroy this, and I can't let them find me.”

“Wes, I don't know what any of that gibberish you saw on there meant, but I know it's affecting you. I need to know what it is.”

Silence.

“Wes!”

“My friends are looking for me. They want to take me back there, but I can't go.”

“Why not? They clearly care about you, and you care about them enough to call them your friends.”

“Because they won't ever chose to stay here with me. They want their own lives and I want mine, but they're not satisfied with just letting me live mine.”

“Do you even know what you're saying? You're telling me that your friends would go across the multiverse to find you, and you're just going to shovel it right back into their faces? What's wrong with you?”

“You don't understand.”

“No, you don't understand!” He huffed, “Here, family and friends are important. If you can't accept that sometimes they might know what's best for you, then how can you expect to fit in here? How could you possibly be like one of us if you're constantly running away from those bonds and relationships? You're a coward, Wes, and it's time you face this. I'm willing to help you, but I can only do so much. You need to figure out what it is that you're so afraid of, and put it into words. Not for any of us, but for yourself. It's time to stop running, and face the facts. Life is life no matter where you live it and you can't escape heartbreak.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I know what you're running from. I've known it since the moment I met you, but you still can't say it yourself. Be it a death in the family you can't come to terms with, a relationship that ended badly, or even a quarrel with a sibling, nothing is worth giving up your home and your family. I don't know what it is you're struggling with right now, and I'm not sure if I want to, but if just the thought of it scares you this much, I would hate to see you face it alone. And that's why you can't just sit around here sipping mugs of cider with ponies you just met. You need to go home, wherever that is. You need to make peace with yourself and stop running. I don't care if you come back or not, I just want to know that you're going to do whatever it takes to make this right, and not regret your decision.”

I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't explain the emotions running through me just then, but it felt too familiar. He knew. He read me from the moment we met, and didn't say anything that whole time. Instead of seeing just the positive exterior, he saw the scared child hiding behind the mask of an adult. And yet at the same time, I felt a strong bond forming between us. If I did exactly what he said, it would mean the end of anything we could have had together, but deep down I knew that he would want what was best for me. He was right, and there was no way left for me to fight it.

“Some fight,” I thought. I didn't even bother to assert my point. I didn't try to lie or dodge it, I legitimately believed that I was in the right that whole time, and in only a few minutes my whole world was turned upside down and reality torn asunder. There were no tears, though. I was equally scared as I was determined, and it was likely I was showing both. I know Umbra could see it. Dash was harder to read in her inebriated state, but it was likely she saw what looked like a child about to let loose a torrent of emotion. I didn't, but she still looked on me like I were a lost puppy. Umbra still wore a stern expression, as if addressing a potential threat to his sovereign.

I still didn't want to leave, but what choice did I have? My friends were coming for me, Umbra could see right through me, and I was a complete amateur with wings. Like he said, there was no escape.

Author's Note:

At the risk of telling too much in the author's notes, I would like to say that it was my intention for quite a while for the story to take a turn in this direction. I know this chapter is written with a bit more dialogue and exposure than the others, but it has been coming for a while, and every once in a while I have to remember to stop and ask myself the same question: "What am I running from?"

Anyway, sorry for not updating for so long. Life has had me pretty busy for a while now.