Chapter 3 [EDITED]
"... Is... is she gonna talk anytime soon?"
Looking over briefly to Applejack, considering her question, Twilight slowly shakes her head.
"I... I honestly don't know, Applejack," she replies, now considering the pink mare before them. "She's just... sitting there... staring off into space..."
The party pony suddenly whips her head around towards her two friends, eyes wide. As Pinkie Pie jumps back to her hooves so too does Twilight and Applejack jump back away from the now energetic pony.
"Oh!," Pinkie shouts. "Sorry about that, girls! I must have zoned out there for a bit, hehe."
After a moment of silence, Twilight Sparkle replies with the role of her eyes and by saying "That's... okay, Pinkie. Can you now please tell us what you saw?"
Beaming once again, the sugar fiend chimes "Gotcha dotcha!" With the sweep of her tail, Pinkie clears off the ground beneath her and then promptly takes a seat. "Okay. Here's how it all went down..."
_______________
So I was hopping down the road here, right? Just hopping and skipping and generally frolicking...
"You were supposed to be helping me, Pinkie..."
Shhhhh; your auntie Pinkie Pie is telling a story, Twi Twi. It's not nice to interrupt.
"Why were you so darn close to my home anyways, sugarcu-
WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!
"..."
"..."
... Good! Anyways; so there I was frolicking, having a grand old time... when all of a sudden...
"Hi there Big Mac!" I called out to the big red stallion. I was really surprised to see that particular pony this close to the place where he usually lives and works! I mean, what were the odds?!
"About seventy-five percent I'd thin-"
DO I NEED TO MAKE YOU SIT IN THE CORNER, YOUNG LADY PRINCESS?!
"... I'll be good."
... Great! Hehe! So, as I was saying...
"What are you doing here, big guy?" I asked him nicely, giving him my copyrighted, do not steel, smile. Big Mac didn't seem too happy to see me though. He was quietly talking to himself and he looked so very stressed and tired... stresired! When he finally looked at me, his eyes got real big and his face grew even longer! It was like he was really sad to see me! That was new!
"Miss Pinkie Pie," he said quickly. "M-mornin' to you... great mornin'... excellent mornin'... best mornin' I've seen in quite a good long while; perfect for apple growin', buckin', and producin' apple based products to sell to non-apple enriched ponies for the sake of mah apple themed family to whom I love all except for on-" And then he slapped a hoof over his mouth.
I was speechless... I was speechless! It usually takes me hours to get Big Mac to open up to me like that! Wowyzowy! I didn't know what had changed with him, but this was going to be amazing!
... Or so I thought.
"Mac!" I said. "Wowyzowy! You're kinda talkative today!"
He sighed when I said that.
"Eeyup... yes, correct, indeed, yeah, affirmative, damn straig-" and then his hoof met his mouth again. His face drooped as he removed it. "Pinkie, it's awful. I can't stop talkin'! I just can't! It feels like mah lips have to keep on flappin' or else I can't breathe!"
I giggled at that, relating to his woos. "I have that same problem too... well, actually more like the complete opposite! I talk soooo much that I can't breathe! The trick is to breathe when ponies aren't looking! That way you can talk extra extra extra extra long! It's the only real way to get the super important information across."
"But nothin' you ever say is ever important."
This gave me pause.
"... What do you mean, Mac?"
Big Mac looked away.
"Darn it all to Tartarus. Miss Pi-, no, cousin Pie, I didn't mean anything by that. This darn poison jokes got me talkin' up a storm. I feel compelled to tell everypony everythin' whether I want to or not..."
"But," I said, not in my usual cheerful voice but in my rarely used serious 'quite' voice. "B-but what you said is true, right?"
He looked really upset after I asked him that.
"Pinkie," he began. "You are by far the most cheerful pony I have ever had the pleasure of knowin'. You've dedicated you life to makin' other ponies happy and for that I respect you..."
I remember smiling at that...
"... but you're also the most irresponsible, borderline insane mare I've ever had the pleasure of warnin' other ponies about."
... I remember losing my smile at that.
"W-warn?"
Big Mac then nodded his head.
"I... I do. I warn all new residence to Ponyville I meet about your quirks. I warn them that you can be invasive, annoyin', and generally dangerous. I especially warn any new parents I cross paths with about you; tell them to keep an eye on their foals so they don't pick up your habits."
"O-oh..." I said gloomily.
"Everypony still loves you though," he tried to reassure me.
"Y-yeah, but..."
"Everypony, Pinkie," he said a bit more forcefully. "You know it's the truth..."
"... B-but..."
Big Mac then grunted angrily. "Darn it all," he said to himself. "This was what I didn't want to be doin' today." He started to head back the way he came, muttering to himself all the while. "Need to lay low... but I don't want to hurt mah family... maybe the park... but... b-but I need to talk to somepony... Urgh!"
With one last grunt he walked off towards town, leaving me here to... think.
___________
"And that's what happened," Pinkie Pie finishes, having returned to her usual cheery self.
"Oh Pinkie," Twilight starts sympathetically, her wing draped over the party pony's back comfortingly. "Are you okay? That was quite the rant you got..."
Pinkie bobs her head up and down happily.
"Uh huh. I'm okie dokie, really! I had some time to really think about it and, well, I think I'm okay with what Big Mac said. I am a bit too hyper at times, aren't I?"
Applejack, having momentarily been lost in thought, shakes her head in order to return to the present and give the party pony a warm smile.
"You are without a doubt, girl, but we love ya' all the same."
And thus a three way hug ensued.
"... Still though," Twilight finally says, breaking the hug up. "We really should try to find Big Macintosh. I'm starting to suspect that his affliction might be more serious then we thought."
"W-what do you mean, sugarcube?" Applejack asks fearfully, looking at her friend.
Twilight looks over at the farmer in return.
"Given the clues present in Pinkie Pie's story," she began. "I think we can assume that there's more to this affliction then we originally thought. He said he didn't want to stay at home because he was worried about hurting his family. What we can take away from this is that he has no control over what he says, not even control over when he says it."
The farmer simply tilts her head to the side.
"... Huh?"
"He said 'I need to talk to somepony'!" Pinkie explains loudly with a gasp, answering Applejack. "He said that he doesn't want to hurt anypony, but he still said that he needs to talk to somepony!" She then turns towards the sole alicorn in the group, actually looking serious. "He can't control that either, right Twilight?"
Twilight nods her head happily in return.
"That's correct, Pinkie!" she replies with a smile. "I think Big Mac has been given some sort of physiological need to talk to ponies, thus he's subconsciously seeking them out against his best wishes!"
"... Boy howdy," Applejack remarks, taking off her Stetson and resting it against her chest. "T-that's terrible! If that's true, then we need to round him up this instant!".
"I know." Twilight answers simply before continuing. "I think we'll need to split up for this, girls."
With the flap of her wings, Twilight takes to the sky. She calls down instructions as she ascends. "Applejack, you head off into town and look for him there. Look at parks and stores and wherever he may or may not go. He's your brother, so you should have the best chance in locating him."
Applejack pauses for a moment, something having crossed her mind, but then the orange earth pony shakes her head yet again and gives her friend a firm salute. "You got it," she confirms, placing her hat back atop her head.
"Pinkie Pie," Twilight continued to list. "Try to round up the other girls. Tell them the situation and try to get them to go with you. If they're busy with the chaos magic though then tell them to keep focusing on that for now. Applejack's patch might not be the only Poison Joke patch in town right now..."
"Okie dokie lokie!" salutes the pink earth pony quickly, now standing atop her hind legs.
Smiling comfortingly, Twilight finishes her instructions. "I'm going to try to search by the sky," she explains. "I'll keep you girls updated whenever I find som-"
Twilight's instructions were then suddenly cut off by a prismatic blur racing past her field of vision, momentarily shocking her out of her flight. After a quick adjustment, she rights herself out and lands roughly next to her two earthbound friends.
"Was... w-was that Rainbow Dash?" asks Applejack, staring at the colorful magical coattail now disappearing into the distance.
The princess of the group looks backwards momentarily, towards where the blur had come from, and then back towards where it was going. Frowning, she quickly spreads out her wings and lowers herself into a launching position.
"It was," she replies grimly, her smile now replaced with a neutral expression. She then smoothly transitions into giving more orders. "Change of plan, girls; Applejack, head down that way towards where Rainbow Dash came from. I think you'll find Big Macintosh there. I'm going to follow her this way. Pinkie, your goal is still the same, just exclude Rainbow Dash from the equation."
"You know I'm allergic to math, Twilight."
Ignoring Pinkie's assumed attempt at a mood lightening joke, Applejack asks the alicorn "What makes you so sure Big Mac is that way, Twi?"
Twilight's features grew hard. She refused to look at her friends and their worried expressions as she mutters "Because she was crying" before taking off into the big blue sky.
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The story has been decent so far, but writing the prose in the present tense instead of past tense makes reading this a bit painful. There are very few writing styles where present tense is the appropriate choice, and it really doesn't work here.
4969219
Actually... considering what ShadyTail said here in the comments, I might need a refresher course on my tenses. Seems like something simple that I could have gone rusty on in my absence... think you can take a quick looksie whenever and set me back on track?
P.S. OH WOW FEATURED! THE ACTUAL HELL?!
4969818
Thanks for the feedback! This is really just some practice writing, to get myself back into the swing of things and whatnot. I'll consider doing some retroactive editing though, before I post the next chapter, in order to make things smoother for everyone.
Again, thanks for your feedback
So, Big Mac knows what's happening to him, and he's driven to talk to ponies. He's pretty smart, but he's also shy... I wonder, where is Cheerilee?
(Also--damn. The apple themed family to whom he loves all except for on- Just... damn. Applejack is probably lucky she left when she did. Or Apple Bloom is in for one hell of an unexpected surprise. I'd like to know what he said to Rainbow Dash... and I'm afraid to know what he's going to say to Rarity, Fluttershy, and Twilight. Or Scootaloo, or Sweetie Belle, or... well, pretty much anypony).
By the way, this is the best story behind the crystal rainbow treecastle I've ever seen ever.
4969976
WARNING, WARNING, INCOMING FEELS NEXT WEEKEND
It's...something, alright. But I'm finding myself thrown off pace by all the small errors you've got through this thing. Have someone take a look at it, and go through it to check for misplaced and misspelled words. I could find about ten in this chapter alone, so be sure you run it by someone real quick. It's interesting, I'll give you that, but it needs a polishing.
I love the idea that Big Mac is fiercely opinionated on the inside.
It's like he's now making up for every unspoken word never heard on the show.
Twi and AJ are treating this like it's a small catastrophe, but some real good could come from it as well. I really hope sometime before the joke wears off (heh) BM manages to run into that one mare in town he's had a thing for but never dreamed of opening up to.
Uh-oh, me thinks the big red stallion's going to get his flank handed to him after the end of this....
I accept that the crystal tree castle is a thing of evil that will destroy Ponyville.
4969920 Sure! just PM me chapters as you finish them,
This is REALLY interesting.. Why was Rainbow Crying? D: Were she and Mac secretly dating and he just told her that he just can't stand her or something? D: Nooooooo the MacDash MUST prevail! D:
This is really getting good. I look forward to reading more
4970636
But of course!
I've even had a fic in my head for a while now relating to that...
Kind of like the House of Leaves, but literally about a House of Leaves.
This is quite interesting, but there definitely some minor errors and the present tense is quite jarring, especially when you switch into the past tense on occasion. Also, using Pinkie to break the fourth wall is fine, but having an author character make an appearance is just tacky.
Too blatant a breaking of the fourth wall, Pinkie (and author): if Twilight Sparkle ever figures things out, we're all doomed, starting with the Bronies.
Wait what?
Big Mac hates a family member.
Going to laugh if he secretly hates Braeburn.
I suspect it's about her vices(she's talented but shows off shamelessly because of it, is lazy as Tartarus with her duties(and spends her time napping and avoiding helping anyone out if she can rather then, well helping out others), and yet still acts like everypony owes her their attention at all times), and we've seen Dash is pretty insecure and her ego covers some pretty low self-esteem so that level of criticism would probably be too much to take. From what I can tell the big problem he has is that being unable to stop talking he can't take the time to candy-coat or lie about or prevent saying something bad and thus uncontrollably hammers them with the ENTIRE truth of his opinion, most notably the stuff that annoys him because of the stress he's under and what is caused by their idiosyncrasies every time they interact with anyone(admit it, some people do things that annoy you so badly that manners are the only thing stopping you from ranting about them to their face).
That said, I am enjoying the story so far and look forward to seeing more, and can't wait to see what happens if he runs into any of the others.
Ooohhh this seems good!!!
4971400
Yes, you do :3
4971509
I pleaseth.
Big Mac sent Rainbow Dash crying? Wow... I love it
4971230
I'm wondering if Rainbow has a crush on Big Mac and he just told her it isn't going to happen (along with other stuff, specifically that she's reckless, self-centred and needs to be less possessive of her friends).
Wow. Mac made Rainbow Cry. Wow. I can't wait to read the next chapter. Great job.
Not sure how I like the whole parasitic castle bit as the instigator. Seems like they'd destroy the castle or cut it off instead of keeping it around at that point. Of course, that could be how the story ends, Big Mac with locked lips staring at crystal rubble with a very pissed off purple princess shooting lasers at what little remained.
Overall this is looking to be pretty funny. I didn't like the Pinkie 4th wall bit but I got over it in lieu of the promise the story had. The whole scene with Granny is my favorite so far. "Why'd you think he'd say nasty things Applejack?" Hilarious. I also liked the idea of Big Mac warning folks about Pinkie's special brand of crazy. I could totally picture that. Though his warning would be short and to the point I'll bet. He IS Big Mac after all.
That was a very mature and measured critique of Pinkie Pie, actually. "You're a public nuisance, but an awesome public nuisance."
But whatever did Mac say to break Rainbow Dash? I must know!
4972519
"You're a public nuisance that people keep their children away from" That's just pretty dang harsh.
4973074
Harsh, but fair.
The Cakes are, quite frankly, insane to trust Pinkie to help raise their children.
4972519
Said by Twilight in Chapter 1
This implies the castle is STILL drawing magic out of the ground and will continue to do so until the entire area is a land of death. Also, the Everfree is only filling empty pockets created by the "lich castle" meaning the castle is the root of the problem. If this wasn't a random comedy I'd actually be questioning how Twilight can maintain a moral sense of self while perpetuating the suffering of those she considers friends so she can keep her new shiny castle.
4973359
Ah, good catch. I am mistaken.
I really like this concept. I personally always thought of Big mac as one of those quiet-intellectual types, and wondered what goes on in his head.
Needless to say, this story just feels right. It's like this is what I've always needed to see but didn't know it until I saw it. And you've done a great job presenting it; I can't wait to read more.
Like and Favorite.
This is great! When's the next chapter?
4970003
Hmm... you are very close, so very very close. If you truly land extreme epic emotion and fantastically fabulous feels in next week's chapter, it'll land you a favorite from me.
I absolutely like where you're going with this... it actually would've been extremely cliche for Applejack to be so afflicted with a case of Extreme Honesty(tm). but for the reticent, strong, silent type like Big Mac, this sort of conflict becomes extremely hilarious, tragic, epic, and depressing all at once!
You promised feels, and I shall be expecting feels! You have my...attention.
Just how much does Big Mac tell everypony? To communicate all that suff about Pinkie, he'd be speaking more words in a sentence than he normally does in a year.
Calling it now: The person that
needs to chat up is.... 
.
Yep. He's going to the castle himself to get himself cured, while the girls go on a wild goose-chase.
*wastes time waiting for the next chapter grammer hammering an e onto the end of loki*
4972827
That's a 'nope' I can truly respect. Thanks for giving the story a try though!
4975115
Friday... ish
This story's decent, but Pinkie Pie breaking the fourth wall like that just ruins it. It's a really poor gimmick.
I look at the flaunting of being featured/making into the popular stories list being passed as some sort of achievement of quality and laugh...
4978106
Actually it could be a good one. Well not good, but decent. If it was played right. Which you usually don't see [not even on the show.].
Bitches be put in their places?
I'm down for that.
In the tiny description, it's supposed to be "quiet" and not "quite."
Ooooh, snazzy.
:I
4980983
Opps. Ty for pointing that out
4972519
I had my theory, but I'd also figure he'd add because of those reasons she's being an atrocious role model for the filly who admires her so much.
4972015
Can't wait to find out, just as I can't wait to see what he blabs out to the others
Spike & Rarity were taking a short cut through the park loaded with supplies needed for the comming fashon quota, "Wasup Mac" spike called
as the giant red stalion came to view, "Well good mornin to both of you,Good mornin or is it noon yet" Spike looked at Rarity and she looked at Spike with an air of confusion. "Good day Mr. Apple" Rarity said. Spike just looked on with his dopy smile. "I think it's close to lunch time" The Drake added.
"Spike the whole town knows how you feel about the little misses" Rarity & Spike gasped togeather,"And you Miss Rarity need to stop chasin after no good high falootin trash" Rarity & Spike blushed out like beacons frozen in time. Mac continued, "Both of you need to quit beating around the bush,"
Big Mac looked Spike right in the eyes "You gota be more Dragon and less pony if ya want to plug this mare of yours" Big Macs eyes then met the Marsh mellow mares stight, "And you Miss Rarity with all due respect got a real good catch with this little guy, He's worth more than any Stalion you'll ever fetch" The sweat rolled off Macs forehead " Now If you will excuse me ,I've got to find Miss Twilight about a fixing this mess. Remember what I said you two" Mac trotted off "I'll see ya all later"
Rarity looked at Spike and spike stared at Rarity "I think it's time for a carton of Vanilla Oat Swirl ice cream,Spikey poo"
Spike answered "Make that a double" Spike blushed "Think Macs messed up? or what?"
"Or What darling Spikey. Or What..."
[
I bet she has no idea what he does in his free time