Chapter 17
Chapter 17
___________________________________________________________
Twilight peeked into the room to see Applejack sitting next to Sam’s bed, where she’d barely moved away from two weeks ago.
Applejack had told the other Element Bearers, Spike and the CMC some of what she had seen with Princess Luna in regards to Sam’s past. She hadn’t said everything, in fact, a lot of the time, Applejack had been vague about what she saw. Though, that could very well be due to the fact she’d been crying every time she tried.
All Twilight and the others had been able to properly get out is that Sam had suffered at the hands of those she’d once called her own kind. Though the orange mare never managed to go into detail, she did say that what Sam had been through, no young being should have to go through.
As for what brought Sam to Equestria, she hadn’t told them that either. The look of hurt on her face when asked made it clear she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to tell either, so they all left it alone.
Whatever she’d seen in Sam’s dream memories, it had only made her more determined to care for the filly in her charge. She only ever left her side to use the facilities and her meals would be delivered by a nurse, not that she ever seemed to eat much of her meals, anyway.
The farm wasn’t doing too well with Applejack gone, either. With her not keeping things in order, it had fallen on Twilight as a princess and friend, to lend a hoof around the farm. With her organization skills, she was keeping the farm afloat, especially with the rest of their friends helping out whenever they had the time to spare. She knew it would be faring far better with Applejack there herself, but that wasn’t going to happen.
Whenever she’d been able to take a break from helping out at the farm, Twilight would check in to see how Applejack was doing or if Sam had woken up.
It broke her heart, seeing Applejack so down. And it only hurt more when she would come to find Applejack singing to Sam. Where she’d heard the song from, Twilight had no idea, but it mentioned waking up as if pleading for it multiple times, the expression Applejack wore when singing it tearing at Twilight’s heart.
Now was one such time. Applejack was slowly stroking Sam’s mane, singing with all her heart, begging the pony before her to truly wake up again.
As the song ended, Twilight turned to leave, feeling it was better not to disturb Applejack right now.
“Mmm?”
A gasp from the room sounded as Twilight froze in place. That was not Applejack’s voice. In fact, it was Apple Bloom’s but from a source it had not been properly heard from in so long it brought tears to the Alicorn’s eyes just hearing it.
“Sam?” Applejack’s voice was filled with hesitant joy as the purple mare hurried in.
The young filly on the bed stirred, before slowly opening her eyes and looking around, tired confusion playing across her expression.
“Sam!” Applejack cried in full joy now, leaping forward and pulling the yellow pony into a deep huge. “Oh, thank Celestia! Yer awake! Yer finally awake!”
“Ashleigh...?” the filly said, sounding uncertain. “Why’re ya’ll using yer Applejack voice? And... why’re ya’ll in mah bedroom?”
___________________________________________________________
I can’t help groaning. I feel so drained. How can a dream be so draining? And fading in and out of consciousness makes it even worse. At least Mum’s been by my bedside this whole time. She’d been singing The Long Song from Doctor Who. Not sure how she learned the lyrics or why she’d be singing it to me, but I’d been able to pick up pieces of it every once in a while when I’d briefly gain some form of consciousness before returning to the realm of sleep. She was even singing it as I came to this time. Huh, guess the lyrics were perfect for the situation then, since I was waking up.
“Sam Oh, thank Celestia! Yer awake! Yer finally awake!”
Ashleigh? Why is she doing her Applejack voice? And why is she even in my bedroom? Dammit. I think I voiced those thoughts. Really best not to talk too much to someone else right after waking up from whatever the shit I’ve been in was. You’re brain and mouth don’t like working together right away
Wait. Is someone hugging me? I shake my head as best I can in my laying down and being hugged tightly position as best I can, trying to get my eyes to focus.
As I do, the person holding me pulls back and into my field of view. Everything’s blurry, but I can make out an orange blob.
At once, everything crashes back in and I know exactly what is going on before my vision even clears.
I... I’m not home. I’m stuck in Equestria, having to wait until the princesses can send me back... and Applejack is a fucking jerk! And I actually thought she was Mum?! I HATE THIS PONY!
I glare as the orange pony comes into focus. I don’t even care that she has a concerned expression.
“What do you want?” I snarl, looking away.
I hear her give a small gasp, but don’t bother looking at her to see her reaction. Instead, I take in where I am. From the looks of it, I’m in a hospital room.
Glancing around, I notice my right foreleg is connected to a heart monitor and a drip. My own forelimb has a large bandage around it, right where I...
I cringe. Did I seriously do that to my own body? Why? What the hell possessed me to think mutilating one of the limbs I need to move around was a good idea?
I wince as I feel a sharp pain in my head. I can vaguely remember Diamond Tiara being a bitch, like she always is and she was grilling me about being a Changeling, hammering it in damn hard, but... after that, it’s a bit of a blur.
“Sam, please, just look at me, will you?”
I glance in annoyance at the farm mare, before I blink, realizing something. Applejack’s calling me by my real name, not that false name she’s been using for me. That’s not all though. She... holy crap, she looks more guilty than I’ve ever seen her.
She glances away, shame clear in her expression. “Sam, Ah...” She looks back to me and it’s like the shame doubles, “Ah know Ah messed up, Ah do. Ah stopped thinkin’ o’ ya like who ya are an’ more how ya look an’... an’ Ah’m sorry.”
I blink, before narrowing my eyes.. “Yeah, well, sorry ain’t just gonna solve what happened, ya know? Ah ain’t just gonna let it go like that.”
A deep sigh comes from the mare. “Ah... Ah know, Sam. An’, Ah totally get it. Ah don’t expect ya t’ be okay with everythin’ right away.”
I give a short dry laugh. “Took ya long enough.”
She sighs again, her eyes downcast. “Sam, Ah... Ah know Ah’m the last pony you wanna be around, but, Ah promise, things’ll be different from now on.”
I cock an eyebrow. That didn’t sound like an order regarding how I need to act. More, it was as if she was saying she was going to make things better for me. Considering how she’s been treating me, this feels a bit sudden. I’m still pissed off at her, but... Dammit, it’s hard to stay so angry you’d call it had when a pony is looking so guilty at you and is admitting they fucked up.
Still, I’m not sure I trust she won’t go back to treating me like I’m actually a filly the first chance she gets. I need proof that she’s serious about treating me like me and not some random filly. “Pinkie Promise?”
This is the decider. If that mare really is honest about treating me with more respect and not like I’m a child that doesn’t understand anything, she will make that promise. If not, it shows Applejack isn’t as worthy of her Element as the Tree of Harmony thinks.
Imagine my utter shock when she actually performs the motions, sounding completely sincere as she does. There’s no joking due to the nature of how the phrasing sounds or how silly the movements are; she’s serious. She seems completely genuine as she makes a Pinkie Promise to me.
I frown, looking away. “Fine. Ah guess Ah gotta give ya at least one chance after that.” Though, if she breaks her word, she knows how bad that will be. She’s treading on thin ice, as far as I’m concerned.
“Sam?” I blink, before realizing there’s another pony in the room, a purple pony with wings and horn.
“Oh,” I say, looking at the Alicorn standing next to the orange mare. “Um... hey, Twilight.”
She looks just as relieved to see me awake as Applejack, who’s... looking intently at me for some reason.
I turn my attention to her, an eyebrow raised. “Um, what?”
Applejack blinks, before looking away... looking sad? Okay, I’m lost.
“Sam,” Twilight says in a cautious tone, putting me on alert that something was up, “do you remember what happened at the school?”
I try not to, but I know I blanch as I’m reminded of what I did. I look away. “Ah... Ah do, but...”
“But...?” Twilight tries to get me to continue.
I sigh. “Ah don’t know why Ah did it.”
That causes both of them to stare at me with shock.
“You... don’t remember why?!” Twilight’s mouth is agape.
I can’t meet their eyes, worry edging into my mind. Why don’t I remember why I did that? Why did I even think that was the best idea at the time to begin with?
After several long moments, Twilight sighs. “Well, whether you remember why you did what you did at the school or not... we need to talk.”
I’m struck by two conflicting emotions. First, I feel myself wilting at Twilight’s tone, but the other half of me wants to be angry at her for using it on me. It’s the tone you use when speaking to a younger person who’s in big trouble.
Twilight makes sure I’m paying attention before continuing. “Sam, what you did scared everypony. I understand you’ve been under a lot of stress, but what you did was not the best way to handle that situation.”
I feel the annoyed half of me get a little more control, so I groan to hide how scared I am by the subject. “Twi, Ah know. Ah get it. We have those kinda bad things happen back on Earth, too.” I look down, failing to repress a shudder. “Ah ain’t got the foggiest why Ah thought it was right ta...”
I glance at my forelimb and wince.
Twilight sighs, but nods, her expression still firm. “Sam, you’re not going to like this, but, for the moment, you’re going to have accept some things are out of your control. Applejack and the rest of her family are going to have to make decisions for you until we’re sure you’re okay. Now, before you get angry,” she adds as I open my mouth, “they will be taking your original age into account from here on out. I feel that is where this whole mess started. Due to your appearance, it was easy to forget that you’re not really Apple Bloom’s age.”
I nod. Well, I guess while I’d rather have them treat me completely like an adult, it’s better than being treated like a naive child.
“However, your reactions are showing something is wrong.”
I glance at her, an eyebrow raised. Huh? What the heck does she mean by that?
“Sam,” Twilight takes a deep breath, before letting it out and fixing me with a firm, yet slightly worried expression. “While you may mentally be an adult, you’ve been in a body identical to Apple Bloom’s for over three months now, correct?”
I nod. Why do I get a bad feeling about this? Oh, yeah, the serious tone Twilight’s using. In the show, it was usually followed by the season disaster, be that in the finale or premiere.
Twilight nods, closing her eyes for a moment. “I think that might explain it, then.”
I cock my head. “Explain what?” I’m really confused now.
Twilight opens her eyes, fixing her gaze with my own. “Sam, I don’t know if you’ve realized it, but your mind isn’t able to work like it did when you were a human. Your mind is that of your old self, but your brain is that of a young filly and that’s causing problems with your mental state.”
I blanch. Okay, this is starting to sound bad. I’ve read foalfics, stories in which ponies are regressed into babies and how being in a baby’s body affects their minds with time. I really hope that’s not what Twilight’s getting at.
“I’ve spoken with a friend of mine, Sunset Shimmer, about this,” Twilight goes on. “Since she lives in a human world similar to yours, I thought she might have an idea as to how best to explain this without things getting too difficult. I know you're smart, Sam, but if I go into an explanation of the brain, it might go a bit over your head.”
Considering how Twilight is pretty much a library of information in pony form, I don’t doubt that. Doesn’t mean I can’t still feel a bit offended, though.
“Seeing as you were human as well, Sunset gave me some phrasing she says fits your situation pretty well and that will make sense to you,” Twilight then levitates a scroll from... you know what? It’s magic, why question it? The Alicorn clears her throat. “From what you’ve told me, Twilight, this Sam’s mind is facing a problem like a computer. If you take two neural networks (in this case Sam’s brain and Apple Bloom’s brain, whom her new body is based on) and give them one and the same input data (situation around Sam) on output you’ll get two different results (Sam’s reaction and Apple Bloom’s). Basically Sam now reacts like Bloom would react if she was in her place. Since she doesn’t understand that the change to Bloom’s body changed her brain too, she doesn't reevaluate her decisions on the fact of “What would I REALLY be about to do before the change?”
I really hope Sunset gives a little simpler an answer after this. I do kinda get where she’s going with this, but it’s still too technical for my still waking up mind to process at the moment.
“She ends with this,” Twilight clears her throat again, though the raised eyebrow shows the words are confusing her. “To put it simply, it’s like Sam-OS is now running on a different set of brain hardware, one which, when compared to her human body, isn’t working quite right, because it isn’t grown up yet. Hence childish decisions, not because she’s a stressed-out ass, but simply because the new pony brain isn’t working the same way as her old one.”
I wanna be angry at Sunset for referring to me as an ass, but, as Twilight finishes, my eyes are wide as I look back on my time here in Equestria. I really was acting really childish at times, wasn’t I? I mean, I was an adult several months ago, yet, when Applejack grounded me, instead of calmly explaining to her why that doesn’t make sense, one, I wasn’t her sister, two, I’m not really a pony and three, I’m an adult mentally so she can’t really do that, I just sulked, threw a hissy and bucked her through the wall... twice.
___________________________________________________________
Applejack bit her lip as she watched Sam listening to Twilight’s explanations. A lot of it was going over the orange mare’s head, especially these computer things from Sunset’s world, but from Sam’s reactions, she was somewhat understanding it and it wasn’t good.
The final straw was, after Twilight said something about Sam’s new pony brain not working like her human one, Sam looked down for several moments, before her eyes widened and her whole body seemed to sag, her ears splaying back as far as they could go.
“Sam?” Applejack waited several moments, before the filly slowly raised her head to look at her. “Ah know this is hard, even if Ah don’t understand all the fancy terms Twi was using, but, Ah promise, Ah’ll do whatever Ah can to make up for what’s happened.”
Sam just looked at her for several moments, before lying back in her bed and turning to face away from the two mares. “Can Ah just be alone, please?”
The defeat in her voice pulled at Applejack’s heart. No filly’s voice, regardless of how old or what they were before, should ever sound like that.
A tired sigh came from her Alicorn friend. “No, Sam. This is a serious matter. Right now, the hospital staff don’t want you left alone, for fear you might do something like you did at the school again. I know you don’t plan on doing something like that ever again, but it’s procedure. You understand that, don’t you?”
A half-hearted snort came from the filly as she kept her back to them. “This ain’t mah first time is hospital, Twilight. Ah know how these things work.”
That set off alarm bells in Applejack’s mind, before she remembered the things she’d seen with Princess Luna. Sam could very well be talking about some of those times she was horrible injured by those humans that thought of her as a monster and her needing to go to hospital because of them.
Twilight nodded. “Then you know they’re not allowed to leave you alone.”
“Then can ya have Granny or Big Mac come over?” the filly mumbles, her voice having no anger, just tiredness. “Applejack needs ta get back ta the farm, right?”
Applejack felt tears in her eyes. Though she hadn’t said it, she knew the real reason Sam wanted her out. She didn’t trust Applejack and wanted somepony she felt she could trust.
Twilight glanced at Applejack, before looking to the back of the yellow filly. “Maybe later. For now, Applejack will have to stay with you. Okay?”
A grunt was the only response they got.
Twilight sighed, turning to leave. She was just at the door when Sam spoke up again.
“An’... if’n ya can... can ya get Pinkie Pie ta come visit. Ah... Ah got somethin’ Ah need ta tell her.”
Applejack looked up in shock. Sam sounded... ashamed.
She looked to Twilight, who looked equally surprised, before giving a small smile and nodded, saying, “Sure, Sam” and left, closing the door behind her, leaving the room in silence, save the sound sof the machines.
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I really like this fic, I have no idea why it's got so many downvotes. Keep up the great work!
eat
I could kind of imagine an aura of sorts radiating from Applejack as she sang that. You know how powerful heartsongs can be in Equestria.
rather have them
you're
Also, this reminds me of what one of my favourite reviewers mentioned about the first Equestria Girls movie.
Epic shit storm incoming. I only hope the apples get's Sam to fully trust them before it happens.
8062465 I think partly because people are butthurt. Humans are not put in a good light (but still a very realistic one in my opinion. I mean come on, who thinks that all humans will just accept something like that in real life are kind of naive. There will always be jerks, no matter what happens.) and click dislike in an instant. I read enough times were people didn't like a fic, because mankind is portrayed much to negative in their opinion.
It happens sadly all the time that one little "wrong" detail is always enough for people to click the dislike-button.
Regardless, I very much like this fic, too. Very original approach of the whole pony-turned-human thing and I'm curious where this all goes. Have my like, good sir.
I think you handled it beautifully. She's acting just like I'd imagine a man turned into a little filly would act. Angry, yet unsure, afraid of herself, reluctant to trust others. I honestly love this story, especially the way you characterize everyone. It's a beautiful confusion when Bucky's wishing for her ma in a way that a grown man never would, yet the memories of her human mother are pushing her away from Applejack instead of towards her.
If you want to go over to silly hijiinks, just focus on recovery for a while and let humor slip in there slowly. Any other mental problems can be dealt with "later" or else they add depth to her personality, or else their consequences aren't severly harmful.
Pretty good, i have a feeling Sam is gonna be hitting some major mental barriers.
I think Sam is just doing whatever he can to maintain himself and not break and cry... At last is what I think
Yay, Sam woke up, stuff got explained! ... sorta
That different brain wiring is a good theory indeed. Sometimes synapses just fire differently because the brain itself is different and that causes short-circuiting like this. Poor AJ though... then again, Sam doesn't know how long she was out and what AJ has been through during that time as well.
So, Sam wants to confess something to Pinkie? That's going to be fun. Or not. We'll see.
Huh, guess the lyrics were perfect for the situation then, since I was waking up.
Oh man you don't know how happy you made me when you added my two suggestions to the story!
A half-hearted snort came from the filly as she kept her back to them. “This ain’t mah first time in the hospital, Twilight. Ah know how these things work.”
I think this chapter came out really good after all you have a lot to get out about same and how he is and how he feels and his / her reaction to the pony's.
this is a huge order for one chapter and I think you did a vary good job with it.
Well, what do you know? Two new chapters. I thought this story or the author had died. Glad to see it updating again.
I’m an adult mentally so she can’t really do that, I just sulked, threw a hissy fit and bucked her through the wall... twice.
“This ain’t mah first time in a hospital, Twilight. Ah know how these things work.”
save the soft sound of the machines.
Starting program Sam.exe. 404 Applebloom compatibility drivers not found.
Or in other words Sam's mind is Win 10, but her physical brain is running with late 90's hardware right now.
What’s that suppose to mean?