haha not a bad job for a first time srysly ! be proud of you !

My only big thing with this story: you need a new paragraph every time someone new starts talking. That new line of dialogue should go on a new line.

For some reason, the whole chapter got my giggling. Richard really got into it, eh?

Quickly grabbing the harness from my travel bag and snuffing out the massive fire hazard she had going in her living room, I lit it up and gave pursuit.

Very safety conscious too!

Shit! God damn it Richard what the fuck was that!? I told Eve I was no actor!

Richard, Richard. I'm pretty sure a lot of hunters actually admire their prey.

Granted, not that way, but you know what I mean.

5569483 Thanks for the 150th like! May Littlepip bless you from on high good sir!

5569134

If you want to know about that "Harry" character, read the original Gentleman for Mares in whose universe this story takes place. Search for Gentleman for Mares and you'll find it at the top of the list. It's story-driven clop that's well-written and a surprisingly engrossing read.

5569134 When you read Gentleman For Mares, you will encounter a mare named "Five Stars." Don't struggle, just let her have her way.

img0.derpicdn.net/img/2014/3/25/584662/thumb.jpg

In any case, give Firesight's page a check for his story about the mare that's slain a thousand men. You'll enjoy it!

5788340

Stuntman didn't need the shirt anyway to scare the little girl.

5792625 Thanks for catching that. This story has been cursed since inception since it's my first. I'll fix it up.

My sincerest thanks to the anon who changed their downvote to an upvote.

Good story overall. Although to be honest there wasn't much story to this even though you tried to not make it just a clop it kinda just felt like it.

My biggest issue is probably the romance tag even though there is a incredible lack of it.The characters needed to interact with one another a bit more to build up the attraction between them. The ending is left sort of open which is kinda nice because it can either make way for a sequel or leave it open ended for the reader's imagination.

I'll check out the sequel for this one.

5909970 I completely agree with all of this. The sequel is much better, in my opinion, and I hope you enjoy it.

A quite funny story :)

I just actually remembered reading this a while back, didn't know there'd be a sequel at the time but I loved the idea of Rose having that kind of streak in her.

6097220 Did you read the gnarly, pre-edited version? You poor fellow! I had no idea what I was doing then.

I had plans for a sequel within days after finishing the first. By the time I got around to it, the idea of what it would be had changed dramatically. I'm really glad you like it!

6194005 Neither do I.

I gave her my best war face baring my teeth in their full glory.

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Author's Note:
It's amazing how much better this chapter looks to me four months after writing it.

This was really nice. Looking forward to the sequel later this night. Thnx!

6423182 Thanks, was it worth a like?

Tomorrow, I'm launching the prequel to both this story and the one you're about to read. It will be about the same size as this one. Enjoy!

My sincerest thanks to the anon who changed their downvote to an upvote. Um, anyone else getting Déjà vu?

>> EonCrystal What did you think of the other stories, if you don't mind me asking?

I thought it would be better to put said thoughts on their respective story.

I'm... Not exactly sure what to say, I loved this, but I don't feel that is enough...

It introduced me to an interesting fetish, gentleman for mares, and was a very good read all on it's own. Though i stand by what i said on another one of your storys, would love to see something like this from Daisy or Lilly's point... Or both (no I don't mean how they reacted to what Rose did to the house, but of a similar experience), I mean they live together, is it that hard to believe Rose might convince them to try (even if accidentally)? Oh well, I'm rambling again.

Loved this, and hope to see more about are lovely flower ponies~ (now if only I could find a story like this about the Spa Twins... Or are they triplets?... Looks at auther... Oh, right, off topic again... Onto the next!)

6444053

I'm... Not exactly sure what to say, I loved this, but I don't feel that is enough...

This was my first fanfic. I agree that it needed to be a hell of a lot more to really justify its existence, but the skill just wasn't there yet.

As I said on LVGS, I agree with your suggestion that Daisy needs more love. Fertile Ground showed us a mare with a great compassion for life and love of botany... among other things... She's just now coming into her own and deserves a story.

It introduced me to an interesting fetish, gentleman for mares, and was a very good read all on it's own.

I introduced you to DEL's masterpiece? I'm honored and humbled that my little experiment brought you into the wonderful world of the Gentlemanverse!

(now if only I could find a story like this about the Spa Twins... Or are they triplets?

I think it's just Aloe and Lotus. There are some amazing fics of those two out there.

Anyway, once I come up with an angle for a Daisy fic, I'll post a blog.

6444179 oh yeah there are plenty with aloe and lotus in them, but either it's pure clop with no build up even mentioned, their basically whorses (), or they just get used like in the show as a plot (giggity) turn. Want something with some feeling and love, ya know? Don't always just wanna get off or something.

6444944 Now that you mention it, I can't think of a Spa Ponies story that breaks them down as characters and examines them closely. They're side-characters in The Everfree House though, you shold take a look at that sometime if you want storied clop.

6445624 tryed to read it, not really my style, can't stand story's that swap characters THAT many times. Kinda like hockey, i get so sick of watching the puck slide around back and for after a few goes.

Okay... maybe I should have done more then just skim this before... it seems our stories have a lot more things in common then I thought, right down to the oatmeal for breakfast. creepy!

6527627 It's uncanny, isn't it?

Did you like the story?

6528848
It was enjoyable. Took a little while to get to Rose, and I would have liked more details and longer scenes with her and Stuntman. But, other then that, it was fun to read.

6529363 It was my first story. I agree, the pacing is pretty awful. All very fair criticisms.

Yeah, not bad mate, not bad at all. Better than anything I could do, I can't write for shit.

I had a little difficulty trying to picture exactly what was going on in the air with the pegasi but I got the general gist.

I would have liked more between Rose and Stuntman. The clop was good, don't get me wrong, I'm not one for overly graphic descriptives, but I would have appreciated a bit more drawn out suspense. She had old mate rock up dressed like a hunter but he didn't actually hunt her. He just waltzed right on in with her rubbing one out on the couch. Maybe that was point. Was this the culmination of the fantasised hunt? From what I picked up from the dialogue; He had already hunted her down and had cornered her in her house. I dunno, I'm not the brightest bulb in the pack, so don't put too much chop on what I say.

Despite those pissy little whinges, I really did enjoy the story as a whole. Stuntman seems a really fun character. I would love to see more of him. I'm gonna have a bit more of a sniff around to see if you've done any more with him.

Cheers mate.

6608473 Glad you enjoyed it. This was the first thing I ever wrote and my stuff only gets better from here.

6629912

Like a lady, but I think she's making the point that she's also got a kinky side she occasionally indulges.

6629960 You never heard of a dominatrix being referred to as a queen?

6630093 I'm terribly sorry, I have not. To be honest, I know virtually nothing about BDSM outside of...

i126.photobucket.com/albums/p109/Arthur_Vandelay99/bring-out-the-gimp.jpg

... that.

I hope chapter four and five pull you around to liking the story. I know what a drag the first three chapters are...

For someone who was nervous about this encounter, he played his role admirably.

6630339 Waaay ahead of you...

7255216 Not sure that's a compliment, but I completely understand where you're coming from. It's a strange bird to be sure.

this is a amazing story but that last chapter AJ Aficionado you should print this last chapter out and put it on your wall it is that good you should be vary proud of this work of art.

7258865 Thank you! What a lovely thing to say.

7259062
yes your story is that good but wow that last chapter exultant.

on a side note Firesight is planning on going back to five star before to much longer he just wants to finish a few other story's first.
I know this will make me happy to see this story revived.

7259930

He's going to finish TLaTU before he comes back to 5SS. Believe me, I want to finish that too. There are other stories for me to write in both the G-verse and the Phoenixverse.

7260350
grin yes I remember our chat about your story's and what you posted in your blog.
and to tell the truth I think you do super good with just working on one story at a time.

Since you don't seem to have a place on your wall to leave this, I'll just post it in a comment on the story that earned it from me.
Your watch, good sir!
¢===⊙===>

7294157 Thank you! Yeah, I deliberately don't have a place on my wall for comments as people do like to thank me for faves, which is a practice I dislike. If I fave something, it's my way of thanking them for putting in the hard work.

I appreciate the faves on both this and Fertile Ground and recommend the two sequels to this story as well. I'll try and get off my ass and work on Movie Night again this week. Take care!

This story was amusing and I was enjoying it. Woohoo a sequel!

Will Rose and Richard get together? Until next time!

8514295
Glad I could entertain you!

"God damn it Richard, pull yourself together!" I imagined the sound of my old Drill Instructor shouting. “You are going to get your ass in there and plow that pony ass until you've acquitted yourself as a Gentleman, you pus-nutted, no-load, dipshit asshole! Now get in there, and do your fucking job!"

Drill instructors are Marines, Air Force has Military Training Instructors. They also don't talk like that, they're pretty lax.

9681620
I thought they were the term in both services. I definitely messed up there! I'll adjust the story but for the sake of fiction, we'll just assume this particular MTI is kind of a nutjob. Thanks for pointing this out.

9681744
It's no problem really, even I had to look up what a recruit instructor in the AF was called (I was Navy, so mine were called Recruit Division Commanders, or RDCs.) And should you decide in the future to do something involving army, they're called drill sergeants. As far as accuracy concerning military life goes, there's probably a ton of veterans on here who'd be happy to help.

cute story! I really enjoyed it!cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/697893326417952810/700622061663420477/8088e1c8a2cc156fc5135d478874aae3.gif

10198791
Awww, Thanks!