Uncle Nic-fit's Drunken Story Time

by Nic-Fit

8: Geiger

GEIGER

---

Celesta was sat alone in her Royal chambers, eating fucking shit-tonnes of cake as usual. She was pretty damn happy about it too, because cake was amazing.

It's a wonder that she isn't too obese to move. Alicorn magic I guess.

So anyway, she was shoveling cake into her face when several guard ponies, led by Twilight burst into her room.

"CELESTIA! DON'T EAT THAT CAKE!"

Celesta looked at the cake levetating in front of her.

"What is the meaning of this?" Who the FUCK tells Celestia, PRINCESS Celestia, when she can and can't eat cake.

"Princess, I've been researching and every result has come up the same, if you eat that cake, somethign terrible will happen." Said Twilight.

Celesta looked at Twilight, then to the cake, then bak to Twilight again. Then she floated the cake itno her mouth and ate it whole.

"PRINCESS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

"Eaten my fucking cake?"

Just then, Celestia began to glow, ever so slightly. A sickly green glow. And then her cutie mark changed, the sun being replaced by three almost trianfles around a circle. A small instrument attached to Teilight's hoof bagan to click steadily.

"Oh no, she's hit critical mass! EVERYPONY OUT!" Shouted Twilight.

That cake was the straw that broke the camel'sback. Celestia had reached critical mass after eating it, and was now highly radioactive. Al the guards and Twilight tried to leave the room as fast as posible, but a few got left behind, too sick to leave already. The ponies that got out closed the door, and a few minutes later sealed it with a massive metal block until Celestia had lost enought weight to not be radioactive.

Princess Celestia, who was now alone again in a room full of cakes.

And sick ponies.

But mostly cakes.

You can see where I'm going with this.

Long story short, a lot of ponies died that day, and a lot of cakes also.

---

It was a few decades until Celestia was declared safe. She was let out of her room by several ponies in hazmat suits. She got a good look at the castle. Vines were growing everywhere, and there was a thinck layer of dust about the place.

"What the hell happened?" She idly thought to herself.

Passing a window, she saw that the same could be said for outsied. The city was compleyely empty. Weeds and plants grew out from everywhere, while sings rusted and carts were left to rot in the streets.

"What heppend here?#2 She asked.

"You did, your highness. After you reached critical mass, you became so radioactive that Canterlot was no longer livable, so everypony was evacuated." Replied one of the suited guardd.s

"I-I did this?" She shakily replied.

"Yes ma'am."

"....Neat....." She pulled a camera out of nowhere and began taking pictures.

" 'Neat'?" Quired one of the guards.

"Yeah. This place looks dope like this. Like a zombie movie or something,."

'I should sell tours of this place!'

Then she did.

---

And thats the story of how Celestia became even richer throught the powers of weird tourism and a lot more cake than she realised..

Author's Note:

Posting this one tonight, expect maybe one or two more by the monring.

Comments

[furbyguy]

Funny as always!

[akarock]

It's like offering tours of Chernobyl or Hisohima, I'd take one.

[Nic-Fit]

4988379
Thanks!

4989299

It's like offering tours of Chernobyl

That is sort of a thing that happens though.
Did you know the other three reactors saw use right up to 1999?

[akarock]

4990113 huh. Also heh, so the princess is nuclear...

[Nic-Fit]

4990140
Well, what with the sun and all that.
Lots of fusion and fission happening there.

[Dark Avenger]

Critical mASS