• Published 5th Sep 2014
  • 629 Views, 75 Comments

Uncle Nic-fit's Drunken Story Time - Nic-Fit



Stories thought of and written while drunk. These are all really awful.

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7: Aero Zeppelin

AERO ZEPPELIN


Spike was returning abck to the crystal palce after running an erand for Rarity. He'd basically jump off a bridge if she told him to, so it was no big suprise to anypony.

He was waddling back home (because he has fuggen tiny tiny legs) feeling pretty good about himself. Until he reached home, that is.
Or rather, the absence of home.

There was nothing there. The was a huge void and a load of torn up dirt where the knowlage fortress used to be. Twilight was standing right in the middle of this void.

"Twilight, hweres the house?" He asked in alarm.

"I sold it, Spike!" Replied Twilight,

"Sold it?"

"There was this huuuuuuge dfragon. He said he was 'reet hungry' so I sold the palace to him!"

"What? Why?"

"TO BUY THIS!" Twilight spun around, gesturing the the enrourmous balloon now floating above where their home used to be.

"T-Twilight, what is-"

"I BOUGHT A FUCKING BLIMP, SPIKE!"

"B-b-b-ut-"

"COME NOW! WE SHALL TRAVEL THE WORLD!"

Twilight teleported them both to the lounge area of the blimp. Spike vomited in the confusinon, but it was quickly cleaned up. The airshipwas fully staffed with ponies ready to serve,

"Welcome abourd Miss Sparkle, shall I inform the captian of our destination?"

"Hmm....we're going to go to....go to......FUCKING EVERYWHERE!"

"Very good madame."

The servant pony left, walking off down a long corridor. ASbout 5 minutes later, the airship lurched forwards, finally setting off for it's destionation of every single place on the planet.

"THE THINGS WE SHALL SEE, SPIKE!" Twilight wrapped a hoof around her assitantas shoulder as the ship bumbled further onewards.


Spike scrathed his enourmous beard. Seriously, this thing could touch the groud, even from this height. They had been on the move for over 5o years now. Spike looked out to the side, noticilen another zepplin approaching them.

"TWILIGHT! ENEMY ON THE PORT SIDE!" Shouted Spike.

Twilight burst through the door, sporting an impreesive beard of herselve, and an eyepatch. One does not be a sky pirate for 5 decades and not sport a few injuroes. Shoe pulled out a tellescope and spotted the enemy airship. It had no weapons, and nor did it display any hostile activity. Still, she didn;t get to be a princess by ignoring every single thing that came past.

"ARM THE CANNONS"

Many ponies below deck loaded cannon balls into the cannons pointing out the side of the ship.

"FIRE!"

A huge barrage of flying metal felw at the enemy airship, which quickly expoladed. It looked pretty sweet, but wasn;t that great if you ask the ponies onboard at the time. But you can't, because thewy're dead.

"Very good, crew!" Cried Twilighrt.

"Spike, how is our course."

"Well, we're travelling full speed south, and we're now 20 miles south of ponyville."

"Excellent, another decade anw we'll be clear of it entirely! Full spweed ahead!"


"Aye, captain!"

The airship carried on its journy.



Really fucking slowly.

Author's Note:

This is probably the last update until thursday, when I;ll get drunk again.

Peace, ya;ll