A Joke Too Far

by DouglasTrotter

Scootaloo Destroys Ponyville and Canterlot

Ponyville found itself graced with a beautiful, calm day. Wind rolled across the open fields of Sweet Apple Acres and into Ponyville, from the northern part of Equestria; the gentle breeze brushed across the manes and tails of each pony. Mr. and Mrs. Cake sold their treats from their usual vendor stall in the market district while Pinkie Pie played with the cake twins. Applejack and Applebloom sat near the Sweet Apple Acres cart, the cart being a few hoofsteps away from the Cake’s stall.

Off her scooter, Scootaloo buzzed in the air, hovering a few inches off the ground before she stopped and landed on the road of Manestreet. She would buzz her wings, float into the air a little bit, and then land, practicing her flying per Rainbow Dash’s instructions. Though the day was perfect, one obstacle lay in the filly’s path. An innocent object sat near the intersection of Manestreet and Saddle Drive. A pebble, no bigger than the size of a donut hole, was kicked about by ponies and found its way into the middle of the street.

Her outstretched, front right hoof caught it. The filly’s wings buzzed. She couldn’t stop. Scootaloo went forward into a barrel roll. She wouldn’t stop. The pony snowballed forward. Her body picked up speed. All the ponies in front of her were knocked out of the way, not unlike the pins in a bowling alley, before she could yell for help.

She gained momentum. Apple Bloom and Applejack thrown to the wayside, the Sweet Apple Acres family heirloom apple cart laid in ruins as did Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s delectable mobile sweet shop, the cake’s vendor stall name being the unfortunate choice by Pinkie Pie.

“Get out of the way!” One pony said, shouting to his mare friend.

“Look out, here it comes.” Another pony said, pulling his colt and filly out of the way.

“Help me!” Scootaloo managed a desperate shout, her voice extinguished by the ponies around her and their cries. In the filly’s mind, from what she could see, she said to herself, “No way! This is some serious bad luck. Not cool!”

Down the small hill she barreled. Scootaloo rocketed into the air, hitting the ramp she setup for tomorrow’s stunt near a small pond. She curved. Like a pitcher’s specialty fast curve ball, her body zoomed through the air towards an unsuspecting Canterlot and Canterlot Castle.

The royal capital of Equestria lay in the filly cannonball’s sights. Star Swirl the Bearded’s library lay in her sights; a pile of tattered pages and stony rubble remained as she continued a path of destruction into Canterlot. Store fronts and vender stalls were upended. Buildings were knocked down. Scootaloo performed better than any wrecking ball could manage and sped towards Canterlot Castle.

Her first hit pummeled the doors, splintering them into pieces. Before the castle lay in ruin, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna’s horns illuminated with a fierce magical light. Princess Luna’s horn glowed in a dark, almost impossible blue-black light with her sister’s a polar opposite; she and Princess Celestia surrounded the filly in a bubble. Shackles appeared in the sphere then latched onto the filly. Stopped in an instant, Scootaloo begged for forgiveness. She received none.

The princesses, in an otherworldly voice that echoed in the silent air, said in unison, “We condemn thee to—“

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