Picky Eater
After being ‘dragged kicking and screaming’ to the restaurant by Twilight, I soon found out that Trixie got the reservations from Pinkie Pie. It should have been obvious from the beginning that Pinkie was behind this. She often sabotaged me and put me into awkward situations through means that seemed harmless to everyone but myself. Once she gave me a ‘gift’ but when I opened it, it exploded with pink paint that got on everything in the house. I now refer to the incident as ‘the Pinkie bomb drop’. Then there was that other time she made a duplicate key to the house and gave it to Rainbow Dash… I still have flashbacks. The point is Pinkie was being Pinkie and that meant trouble for me.
The Golden Lotus Dragon was nice, though. It was like a chinese restaurant, but instead of being from China, the ponies here were from Neigh-jing, the pony equivalent to Asia. It was almost eerie how similar it was to the places on Earth. The red walls with golden accents, the large pillars that had golden chinese dragons spiraling down them, the music, the smell of the food, the language the ponies were speaking, even the pictures of tigers and cranes on the walls… it was perfect.
While waiting for our food, Skrillex, who was seated next to me, kept hitting me under the table so the others couldn’t see. Of course I hit her back, but then she hit me again a little harder, I followed her action and did the same. It went on like this until Trixie asked me a question. “Did you know that both our orders contain powerful aphrodisiacs?”
That hit me like a sack of bricks. How could she say something like that in public?! Did she not have a shred of dignity?! She was staring at me with half lidded dreamy eyes which told me she didn’t care at all if we were being looked at funny. I now knew how it felt to be the cat from all those Pepé Le Pew cartoons.
Calming myself enough to speak, I answered, “No, and I don't care. Believing that simple everyday ingredients can affect you enough to feel that way is foolish. What little does get to your brain isn’t enough to alter your affection towards another in any significant way. For example, chocolate contains a chemical that is linked to feeling love but to get the slightest boost in that feeling you would have to consume enough chocolate to give you diabetes.”
Trixie sighed longingly, “You’re so smart…”
I rolled the chop sticks around on the table in front of me and casually replied, “Uh-huh, sure, whatever…”
Twilight leaned over and whispered to me. “Could you at least act like you are having a good time? I don't like this any more than you do.”
“Do you remember the last time I faked a smile?” I muttered back as I continued to fiddle with the wooden eating utensils.
Twilight shuddered. “Okay, I get your point. Still you don’t have to smile to show you’re having fun.”
I smile lightly. Twilight being so pure hearted and happy… she’s blessed. Not in a million years would I ever be able to ‘just have fun’. Fun for me was always difficult, and as the years passed it only got harder to bring forth that spark of joy. Yes, I could feel the warmth of happiness now, faint as it may be, but enthusiastic joy was just as hard as ever to obtain.
Trixie, Twilight, and I kept talking about random crap until our food arrived. It mostly consisted of bringing me up to speed on who was doing what and how everyone was doing. There weren’t any serious changes besides Rainbow Dash being super excited to announce that she would be a judge for some flag routine they were putting on at the school. She was supposed to keep it a secret until it was announced to the class, but that’s Rainbow for you.
While we were on the topic of school, we started discussing what to do with Skrillex. I was all for having her homeschooled since I felt it gave a better chance to learn without distractions, while Twilight said that attending class with others would be more beneficial for making friends. In the end, Trixie was the one who broke the tie. She said that she was homeschooled as a filly… so public school it was. If being homeschooled was what made Trixie who she was, there was no way I was allowing the little nightmare beside me go through the same thing to end up being worse.
Speaking of the ‘demon child’, it first appeared that she was being very quiet and well behaved, but I noticed a very familiar look on her face… it was the same one I often had. She wasn’t just being nice, she was in deep thought as she observed… she was planning. The whole time we were talking, she was absorbing information like a sponge and putting it together like pieces to a puzzle. I know this because I did the very same thing when I was on missions. She was analyzing her enemies, looking for weak spots, and coming up with a way to take advantage of us.
What Skrillex didn’t know though was I was playing the same game she was. I was watching her every move out of the corner of my eye while simultaneously playing with the tableware so I wouldn’t raise suspicion. If she wanted to play this way… I was going to play right back and show her how it’s really done.
The food finally arrived and as we ate sweet and sour breaded tulip, chow mein, orange rose, and several other dishes, I kept note of what Skrillex did. She looked quite disgusted by it all and after sniffing what Twilight put on her plate, she looked like she was going to throw up. Nobody else seemed to dislike it in the least. In fact, everywhere else you looked, ponies were inhaling the stuff (myself included). However, Skrillex was barely able to get it down with the water. It looked like she was nearly in pain from trying to eat it. Water seemed to go down without a problem, but food was another story. Perhaps changelings aren’t suited to eat what ponies do?
Suddenly I heard a familiar voice speaking in a foreign language. “Yúshì wǒ shuō, Nǐ shì shénme rén?! Shī miàntiáo?!”
There was an uproar of laughter from a few ponies that I knew were Neigh-jingese in origin and a white mare with an electric blue punk manecut who was wearing sunglasses indoors.
“Hey Vinyl!” I called out.
She turned and saw me raising a hoof. In an instant, she teleported in between Twilght and I, then gave me a bone-breaking bearhug that lifted me from my chair. “DUDE! I heard you were back in town!”
“AIR!” I squeaked. She set me down and laughed.
“Seeing you here is the weirdest thing! Octy and I were just talking about you!”
I smirked. “Really? It looked like you were telling jokes in another language.”
Vinyl rubbed her head and laughed nervously. “Okay, so I was stretching the truth a little.”
“Hello Vinyl, nice to see you.” Twilight spoke up. “So are you on a date with Octavia?”
“Yeah, she thought we deserved a night out since we’ve both been working almost non-stop for a while. Are you guys doing the same?”
“No, nothing that serious. Trixie invited us here since she got reservations from Pinkie,” Twilight explained.
“Oh… so who’s the half-pint?” Vinyl asked pointing to Skrillex who was caught up poking the chow mein on her plate like it was an alien lifeform.
“That’s my niece Skrillex. She’s going to be living with us for a while,” Twilight said with the worst poker face I’ve ever seen. Her smile was so forced it could have been Star Wars… get it? ‘Forced’? 'Star Wars’? Eh? Well, I think it’s funny.
“I didn’t know you even know your aunt had a kid,” Vinyl said rubbing her chin with a hoof while Twilight seized up from the unexpected flaw in her plan.
Thinking quickly, I told Vinyl, “Well I didn’t know you could speak Neigh-jingese and she is a-d-o-p-t-e-d.”
Skrillex growled at me again and Vinyl nodded in understanding. She soon went back to get to Octavia and we finished eating. Twilight whispered her thanks and I shrugged in return. It wasn’t like I was just going to let her flail while I watched. I just did what anyone would do.
Trixie attempted to convince me to let her stay the night for ‘fun’, but I shot her down. We had a long day and she would just make it worse. I know I certainly didn’t want her to be in the same house as me while I slept… there’s a good chance she would take advantage of the situation in the worst possible way. Sometimes I wonder if I should try getting Trixie admitted to an insane asylum… until I remember that the ponies there can leave like whenever they want. I suppose the reason why their containment is so loose is because the worst they have is a mare that thinks she’s a dog... crazy, but not really dangerous.
So after Twilight and I got inside the library, I just flopped down on the floor. This was for three reasons. First, I ate more than I probably should have… what can I say, I love chinese food. Secondly, I had been awake for almost two days straight. And finally, changelings are mentally and physically exhausting to look after. Yes, I’m blaming her again. I would feel fine right now if it wasn’t for her, so I am going to complain to my heart's content.
While I was busy getting acquainted with the floor, Skrillex walked by and said, “By the way... I know how to spell ‘adopted’.”
“That’s good to know… B-R-A-T.” I replied, getting up to head downstairs to my new sleeping quarters while Skrillex flew upstairs in bitter rage (like she wasn’t always like that).
“You could stand to be a little nicer to her,” Twilight said from the bottom of the stairs.
I stopped to look at her. “Yeah I probably could, but that doesn’t mean I will. Besides, if she wants to be treated nice she will have to act nice.”
Twilight rubbed her hoof between her eyes in frustration. “I can’t believe something so immature just came from your mouth…”
“It’s not my fault I get like this when I’m sleepy… get off my back.”
“I get that this wasn’t something you wanted to do, but maybe if you show a little kindness towards her…” Twilight trailed off then sighed. “Why do I feel like I’m the only one trying to make things work here?”
I didn’t say a word and just went through the basement door, closing it behind me. Twilight was right again… she was the only one trying to make this work, and all I did was fight with Skrillex like a child. She had an excuse since she was a child, but I, on the other hand, should have known better. Damn logic, why does it have to be so logical?
Looking at my new temporary room only made me feel like more of a jerk. Where there was once lab equipment with beakers, test tubes, a seismograph, two polygraphs, an EEG machine, and various other scientific crap, there was now a bed with a suitcase placed by the headboard next to a wooden wall. By the bed was an end table with a lamp, an old fashioned alarm clock, and a copy of one of my favorite fantasy novels… ‘The Warrior Mare - Vol. 6; Quest for the Lost Heart’. It was the new continuation to the series and it hadn’t even been opened yet by the look of the spine. I was going to be the first one to read it. Twilight did all this for me, and I did nothing for her... a whole year, but I haven’t changed at all.
‘Okay, that’s it. I’m making a change starting today!’ I thought to myself before looking at the time on the alarm clock… 11:15. ‘Alright, starting tomorrow then.’
* * * * * *
I awoke the next morning to the sound of the ringing of the alarm clock going off. Throwing my hoof out of the sheets, I hit it to make the noise stop. You probably know by now that I wasn’t a morning person, so any sound that woke me was the enemy in my books. I had to get up though since today was the day scheduled for me to ‘keep things in check’.
Rolling over, I flopped onto the floor still struggling to get up. I felt one of my legs wrapped up in clot, tying me to that which brought me comfort. It was almost like it was telling me it didn’t want me to go. Standing up, I made my way back over to it before leaning down next to the pillow and stroking it affectionately.
“Shh… it’s okay. I’m only going to be gone for a little while. There's no reason to get all upset my sweet, I’ll be back soon enough. Stay beautiful for me,” I said jokingly.
“Wow… I didn’t mean to intrude on you two. Would you like five more minutes alone or are you ready for breakfast now?” I heard a voice say from the top of the stairs. Looking up, I saw Spike standing there with a big smile on his face.
“I’ll have you know that she is very sensitive and gets lonely when I’m away for too long… but yeah. I’m ready.”
Following the walking mail delivery system, I got a whiff of Twilight's cinnamon apple waffles before he opened the door next to the kitchen. As it was nine o’clock (still fairly early in my standards), I was a little out of it and feeling goofy like I always did when I was tired. All these factors added together to make me start humming ‘do you like waffles’ when I got to the table. Sat across from me was, of course, Skrillex. I know that she was trying to look intimidating as she glared at me, but her mane was prone to bed head which made her look kinda like a grumpy toddler. Spike was still not sure how to go about dealing with her odd fixation on him, so he went straight upstairs to his secret stash of gems (which were under Twilight's bed).
Twilight soon arrived at the table with a large stack of waffles. I served myself and poured a little ‘Whitetail Woods’ syrup on them. Not much though, just enough to get an even glaze. I watched Skrillex closely as Twilight served her. As I expected, her expression was like a contestant from Fear Factor when they were supposed to eat bugs. Before Twilight had the chance to pour the syrup, I stopped her.
“Wait just a minute there, I don’t think she’s supposed to eat this kind of stuff.”
Twilight tilted her head in confusion. “What do you mean? She has to eat, doesn’t she?”
“Yes, but look at her for a moment. Does that look like the face of a hungry filly or a terrified changeling?” I replied pointing across the table.
Twilight gave her a long hard look and then widened her eyes a bit. “I think I see what you’re getting at. How did you know?”
“I was watching her eat last night… each bite was a battle in itself,” I began to explain. “And based on how she reacted when you slapped that waffle down in front of her, I’m guessing changelings have a different digestive system and different nutritional needs from ponies.”
Skrillex looked shocked. She was probably not aware that I was paying such close attention to her behavior. Well, surprise… I was. Jason-1, changeling brat-6 ½. I’m on fire!
“If you were going to get sick from eating you could have told me.” Twilight said.
Skrillex rolled her eyes. “So you are saying that watching me throw up last night was normal? You didn’t think I was sick from expelling everything I ate at that horrible restaurant? How stupid are you ponies?!”
“I thought that you were just not feeling well. That's why I made all these.” Twilight said as she gestured to the stack of waffles. “I thought that a good breakfast would do you some good, not make things worse!”
Skrillex was silent for a while but eventually asked, “Why are you all doing this?”
I looked over to Twilight and she looked back. Neither one of us knew what she was talking about. The way she said ‘this’ could have meant anything, and with how chaotic things have been the past two days, there was a lot of vagueness in her query.
“Doing what?” I finally asked.
“THIS!” Skrillex shouted back swinging her hooves around in random directions. “Everything! I know this isn’t how you normally treat my kind, so why am I special?! Why do you spare my life to torture me?!”
I waited for a few moments to see if Twilight could come up with anything before I would give my two cents. She remained silent but seemed to be trying to think of an adequate answer. Twilight often took feelings into consideration when she was talking, but that is something we didn’t share. I was brutally honest and got straight to business without thinking ‘will that be too harsh’ or ‘I can’t say something that blunt’. I took a deep breath and said the first thing that came to mind.
“I have no idea why we are taking care of you. Really, I would have loved it if we didn’t have to. However that is not something I have a say in. Luna has taken a real liking to you for whatever reason and she wants you to be looked after by the best ponies she could find. Twilight has a heart of gold and I… well, I’m probably supposed to make sure you are protected.”
After my long speech, Skrillex cocked an eyebrow. “You are supposed to make sure I’m protected? I think a princess would be better than a normal unicorn.” She scoffed.
“Yeah… you have a point there. Why would I be stuck here if an alicorn princess is so much more powerful than any unicorn could hope to be?” I then levitated a bottle of pills out of my inner jacket pocket, placing them on the table in front of her. “Do you know what these are?”
She squinted as she read the label. “It says ‘Arcanopam; instructions: take one per week. Do not exceed recommended dosage. If more than one has been ingested, provoke immediate regurgitation.’ So? You take some medication, what’s so weird about that?”
“Do you know what it’s supposed to do?” I asked her innocently.
“No, the bottle doesn’t mention that,” she replied turning the bottle around, checking for anything she might have missed.
“Well, it was given to me by Celestia herself as per my request. Now normally, you would have to go through mountains of paperwork to just get one of these as a doctor," I explained with a smirk.
Skrillex sighed with disinterest. “Really? Why’s that? Is it like a super magic booster or something?”
“Close… it’s meant to lower your magic so much that you aren’t able to use it. It’s normally prescribed to extremely dangerous criminals and ponies who aren’t mentally stable,” I said, opening the bottle and floating a pill over to my mouth. I swallowed it and waited a bit for it to start taking effect.
Seeing her chance, Skrillex picked up a nearby glass of juice and tossed it at me, expecting me to get drenched. I stopped the glass in mid air, then set it down, making sure that not a drop spilled on the table. Skrillex leapt up from her seat and pointed a hoof at me.
“HEY! You said that it was supposed to make it so you couldn’t use your magic!” she shouted.
“Well, it would have if I was an average unicorn… but since I’m not, it only lowered my magic enough to be a little over average. Without them, I would be powerful enough to take down roughly three ursa minors at once. What I’m saying here is I am the most powerful unicorn in Equestria and that is why you are here…”
Skrillex fell back into her seat and crossed her arms with an attitude. “I don’t believe you…” She said, staring me down from across the table.
I shrugged. “I don’t need you to believe me. I told you what I believe and that’s all I can do.”
I didn’t know if Skrillex accepted what I said or just grew tired of talking, but she went back to being quiet while we ate. You know, for a changeling, she is pretty nice… when she isn’t complaining or insulting you or hitting you under a table or...
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I hope you feel better soon. I can relate to some extent to having a chronic illness. I hope to see a new chapter sooner than later. Your writing is very good with good timing and description.