• Published 2nd Sep 2014
  • 456 Views, 6 Comments

Someday - Roman Empire

Scatter Brain finally bucks up the courage to ask out his crush. How will it end?!

  • ...

...Why Not Today?


Someday. That was what the young unicorn colt told himself. Getting out of bed, he stretched his legs and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Someday. He yawned and scratched his snout, then sparked his horn to get his magic flowing for the day.

Someday. He looked at the picture on his bedside stand and let out a dejected sigh. In the frame were two ponies. One was a stallion of about nineteen years. Unicorn, white coat, blue mane. He wore a stethoscope around his neck and his hoof was wrapped around another, smaller unicorn. This one was a filly, possibly about sixteen. She bore a purple coat and a black mane, though it was interrupted by a vibrant red bang. They both wore smiles, and appeared to be close to one another.

Someday. He picked up the frame and touched the filly’s cheek, frowning. There were other pictures around the nightstand - some with both ponies, some with only the purple one, but rest assured she appeared somewhere in each one. In many she was smiling. In a few, older ones, her muzzle was a bit thicker and her frown very pronounced.

Someday. Scatter Brain replaced the picture of he and his friend Ryuko on the table. He got out of bed and trotted down to his small kitchen. His home was a small and lonely. It had only the most bare bones furniture, as he had no taste for interior decoration or style. He sat at his table and ate a bowl of warm cereal. That one word echoed in his mind, plaguing him. Someday, I will ask her to be mine…

Downing the rest of his mediocre meal, Scatter tossed his dish into the sink and picked up his saddlebags from the rack by the door and took his umbrella in his blue magic. He trotted out the door and locked it behind him, then made his way through Canterlort towards the hospital. Once inside, he made his way up the stairs until he found his work master, Dr. Gene Splicer. “Good morning, sir.”

“Ah, Scatter Brain! How good to see you on time.” The large stallion raised an eyebrow at his student, though he still appeared happy.

“Sorry, sir… I, uhh, have had a lot on my mind lately…” The apprentice dropped his bags in the corner and put on his lab coat. “Nevermind that. What am I learning today?”

The old stallion patted him on the back roughly, causing his knees to buckle slightly. “Still? Don’t you ever rest? I gave you the day off!”

“Hey, I like this stuff! I learn it because I want to!” He pointed to the light blue question mark that had adorned itself on his flank early in his youth. “Thirst for knowledge, branded right there on my backside.”

“Don’t feel insulted when I’m not keen on examining your butt that closely, kid.” Dr. Splicer smiled. “Though you wouldn’t mind if I did, would you? Hehehe.”

“Sir… please quit that. I know you know I don’t mind stallions… I don’t need you to bring it up every day,” the young colt said, his face turning red.

“You know I tease you. I don’t care that you’re a coltcuddler-”

“I like mares too!”

“-I care that you’re a good student. And to keep learning as much and as quickly as you do,” he said, placing a gray hoof on Scatter’s shoulder in a fatherly manner, “you need to take a break.

“I… but…” Scatter tried to argue with his teacher, who was having none of it.

“Hey, you yourself said you had something on your mind. Why don’t you go after him then?” Dr. Splicer poked back.

“W-what?! There’s no ‘him!’” Scatter defended himself.

Gene just shook his head. “Don’t believe you. There’s somepony you’ve got stuck on your mind, I can see it.”

Seeing his master unwielding in his curiosity, the medical student yielded. “...There’s a ‘her.’”

“Ahaha! Let’s hear all about it, son!” The doctor’s expression was that of an excited housewife hungry for gossip.

Not willing to argue, Scatter figured he may as well spill the beans. “Well… her name is Ryuko Matoi.”

“...What kind of name is that for a pony?”

“It’s her name… and it’s lovely. She’s… she’s one of my best friends. I’ve liked her for a while now, even when she didn’t like herself. She’s got a strange talent, but it’s a common interest for us. She’s nice… kinda distant sometimes, but really into it at others. And dear Luna, is she sexy! She’s beautiful, sir…”

“Wow. And… you wish to, erm, copulate with her?”

“No! Well… yeah, I mean, who wouldn’t? But… that’s not the important part. I want to hold her. I want to kiss her on the lips. I want to hold her in my hooves on the couch and watch something. I want to take her out to dinner and compliment her. I want to lay in bed with my hooves wrapped around her for protection. I want to see her sleep and hope that when she smiles, she is dreaming of me.”

There was only silence for a few moments after Scatter Brain said this, then Dr. Splicer cleared his throat. “Well… you sure picked the right profession, kid.”

This threw him for a loop. “Umm… what?”

“Medicine. You chose the right job. Because I am officially diagnosing you with lovesickness.” His face broke out into a warm, wide smile before he pulled Scatter into a tight hug. “You go get this filly and you make her your own.” He then pushed Scatter out the door and into the hallway. “And I don’t want to see you again without that mare on your hoof!”

“Sir, I’m not ready! I’ll ask her out someday. But… not today.”

Dr. Splicer was unperturbed. “Someday? What day? When the weather is just right? When you’ve had a good meal that fills you up and makes you feel prepared? If you keep waiting, someday will never come. Make someday today.” He then took Scatter’s lab coat, placed his saddlebags on his back, and held out his umbrella. “All up to you, kid.” With that, he shut the office door in his apprentice’s face and locked it shut.

Scatter Brain sat in thoughtful silence for a few minutes. He found himself walking out of the building without realizing that he had even moved. Moreover, his hooves were pointing in the direction of Ryuko’s little back alley stand.

Putting his doubts aside, the unicorn colt decided it was time to become a stallion and go after the mare he had his sights set on. Walking down the streets of Canterlot with a determined rhythm in his step, Scatter Brain felt he could handle anything Life threw at him.

Lucky for him, Life was feeling particularly generous that day and he was only asked for medical advice by forty-seven ponies. Though he left the hospital at around 9:15 in the morning, the constant delays by elderly stallions with bad hips, concerned mothers panicking about organic foods, and a few stallions looking for medical backup so they could get together with their mares in safety, Scatter did not arrive at his destination until almost 2 in the afternoon. By this point, his confidence had mostly abandoned him, leaving his momentum to take him the rest of the way. As he passed a flower shop, he decided to stop in and make a precautionary investment, walking out with a small bundle of orchids that he tucked out of sight.

Hidden away behind a few shops was a little dark stall. Most ponies ignored it because it was out of their way and beneath their status, but some sought it out, looking for… unique items.

Tapping his hoof on the stall, he waited as a hooded figure came out from behind a stack of crates. As soon as they saw Scatter, though, they took the hood down. “Hey, Scatter! What are you doing here?”

The white unicorn was busy trying to catch his breath from having it taken away yet again by his attractive friend. Her deep purple coat, which made his legs tremble. Her pitch black hair, save for a single sanguine red streak in the front, which made his spine shiver. And her eyes, that lovely clear blue. She was simply divine to him. “Oh, uh, n-nothing! Nothing at all!” To most ponies, this would have been an obvious lie, but Ryuko either did not notice or she did not draw attention to its feebleness.

“...Oh. Well, what do you want?” She searched his face for an answer and found only a deep blush. This was something she was used to from her customers. “...Are you buying a sex toy?” she asked suddenly, a look of humor on her face.

Ryuko, at the age of thirteen, was fooling around with somepony and managed to discover the joys of bondage sex. This left her with an interest so satisfying, it displayed itself on her flank every day in the form of a red ball gag. After coming of age the following year, she promptly got a permit and began selling her homemade sex toys in a back alley, as she could not afford a shop yet and was not allowed to sell such products openly in the streets.

“No! Nononono!” he stammered, his blush rising and his nerves crashing. Screw it, just go home and do it later. You can ask her out any day. Hearing himself think this, he steeled his nerves and shook his resolve into place. Then I choose today. “A-actually, I wanted to ask you something?”

Fiddling with a few of her products in her hooves, Ryuko seemed to be paying less than full attention to her friend. Until he set a bunch of white orchids on the table in front of her. She looked at them, then up at him, not quite registering what he was implying. “...What are the flowers for?”

Her ignorance of his intent hurt a bit, but that only caused him to bounce back higher. “They’re, uhh, for you… I got you some flowers.”

She looked at them again. “...I can see that.”

Thinking quickly, Scatter spluttered out, “W-would you want t-to go to lunch w-with me?”

Now noticing how strange her friend was acting, the purple unicorn squinted her eyes at him and asked, “What’s going on? What’s this about lunch?”

She’ll never go for you, you moron. Turn back, tell her you were just kidding. Save yourself now! “I… I was wondering i-if you… wanted to go… uhh…” Crapcrapcrapcrap, say it!

“...Are you asking me out on a date?” she said slowly.

No. NO! Dude, she’s not gonna say yes if she knows what you’re asking! “...Yes.”

Her suspicions were still aroused by this. It wasn’t like Scatter to do this - he was her friend, she should know. “Why do you want to take me on a date?”

No turning back, pal. You dug your grave, now go lie in it. Clearing his throat, Scatter closed his eyes and spoke with just enough surety to keep from wetting himself. “I… really like you, Ryuko. Really like you. I… I-I want to know if you’d be my… my special… somepony…”

He kept his eyes closed and waited for the inevitable killing blow.

Author's Note:

The title of this story is based on a quote by Timothy Ferriss:

“For all of the most important things, the timing always sucks. Waiting for a good time to quit your job? The stars will never align and the traffic lights of life will never all be green at the same time. The universe doesn't conspire against you, but it doesn't go out of its way to line up the pins either. Conditions are never perfect. "Someday" is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you.”

And... that got me thinking. There is never going to be a better day to ask that mare out than today. So... this is me doing it. The rest of the story (rather, the second/last chapter) will pan out differently depending on what she says. Wish me luck, everypony.

"Ryuko"... what do you say? I may not be the best there is to offer, but I'll offer you the best I can.