• Published 13th Sep 2014
  • 881 Views, 24 Comments

Drunken Mistakes Are Sober Desires - Pizzema Forte

Rainbolt and Surprise have been friends for the longest time possible. A drunken mistake, however, will lead the two into a night neither will forget in their lifetimes.

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Comments ( 14 )

Nice story. Well-written as I expected, but something about it feels off.

I'm in the minority that doesn't want these two together. In the time that Surprise has been in the actual story, Rainbolt has shown little interest in her outside of vague physical attraction. It's just my interpretation, but there's something that doesn't click with me about this pairing.

4994709 I think me and forte talked about this but I cant remember I'm pretty sure it was around 30 or so

Amazing, absolutely amazing. :heart:

4994527 I totally understand. When I was asked to write this with drunken sex, I was a bit afraid about how I'd pull it off. In previous chapters, I stated Rainbolt wasn't a drinker. Instead of choosing to bend Rainbolt's character a lot, I decided to bend Surprise a bit to make it work. I can't honestly say I felt the same way when writing Surprise in this, but all-in-all, I think it could possibly work. Besides, Surprise once bought tickets for "Rainbow Dash" to go see a Wonderbolts show, when in reality she took her there to get closer to her father. So, occasionally, she can be a bit manipulative for her own desires, which I why I chose this route. When looking at my own characters, I think the reason Rainbolt is a bit turned-off by her is because she is a bit crazy, and can be a bit possessive at times. I may have bended her a bit too much in this, which is why it's not going to be in canon with the main story.

4994709 I don't know. Every time I have to mention his age, I have to do a whole bunch of math to figure it out. I need to keep better track of my own characters. :applejackunsure:

Very nice chapter, and I loved the ending line. That being said, I found some things you may want to edit.

She was only a sloppily made, blue bed with no covering.

I'm pretty sure that should be "on".

As she remembered the details of last night, she sudden felt the unusually high wetness in her snatch along with the salty flavor preserved in her teeth.

That should be "suddenly".

The entire time, Rainboolt listened with great curiosity.

Wow, really freaking descriptive >.> This is probably one of the best clopfics on fimfiction, it's just so good :rainbowkiss: But how was making it? Was it awkward or a little painful for you to do? Just wondering.

4997151 It was awkward because of the characters. It just felt weird to put the two in the situation, and I felt like they had to be a tad bit out of character to make it happen, though. I enjoyed writing it as a whole, though.

4996427 Thank you for the corrections! :heart:

Is this canon?

erotic friend fiction

What the fuck!?

5011952 Ah, articunos, I love reading your comments. Also, this event isn't canon with Raising Rainbow. I added in dialogue, memories, and other things to make it seem like a realistic chapter, though. The only things that were canon are the cabinet (which you seem oddly fond of), the memory between Rainbolt and Moonstruck, and the comments Rainbolt made about Blue Moon, Mrs. Skies, and his brother. Also, there's something else canon in the next chapter, that's a little bit odd (but fun). Glad you're enjoying it. :twilightsmile:

"Well, I mean, we sort of had sex."

There's no 'sort of' about it.

"I kept hearing things!"

Did not expect that.:rainbowlaugh:
5012137 Yeah, I've been noticed! I guessed this wasn't canon, which is too bad. Ah well. It was still a good ride. If you ever do want him in a canon relationship, I still cast a vote for Blueshift.:rainbowkiss:Because shut up.
Teeheehee, I wonder, if Rainbolt showed up in Ponyville one day, after twilight meet her friends, which of Rainbows' young, single, beautiful friends would appeal the most to him? Orange tree kicker perhaps? :rainbowderp:Get your hooves off my daddy! :ajsleepy:Can't sugar, he started it. :raritywink:We all saw it, that's not true.:ajsmug:Yeah, your right.

Hmhm... Quite.

Dat last part.

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