Pragti
The Gentle Nights
Audience of One
Chapter VIII
Pragti
The world of white faded, and Luna found herself in a large, dark cavern. Yet it didn’t seem natural. The walls were too perfect in their circle, and the rocks were constantly changing shapes. It reminded her – unpleasantly – of a ‘game’ Discord once had forced Celestia and her to play. She was glad he was stuck in his stone prison, hopefully for good this time.
She perked her ears as two sounds arose simultaneously: laughter and sobbing. The laughter was ethereal; it echoed from all directions and also seemed to come from within. It wasn’t playful, but coarse and mocking, as though the walls themselves were filled with mirth over some calamity. She eyed them and realized that the rocks formed faces.
The walls really were laughing, but not at her.
She turned about to find a tiny, purple filly. The little pony was curled in a tight ball, sobbing with her head buried beneath her hooves.
Luna cringed; helping foals was one thing, but this one was even younger than usual. What to say? She stared down at the filly, thinking on potential solutions. After a while, she focused her magic on the foal’s mind.
She’s too dumb to do anything right!
Ditzy Derpy! Ditzy Derpy!
I bet you’re as retarded as she is!
So when are your eyes gonna go stupid, huh?
Luna disconnected and shook her head to clear it of the lingering thoughts. She frowned at the foal as a familiar ache encroached upon her heart. Kneeling, she brought her horn down to rest across the foal’s back. The spell was not complicated; this was a simple nightmare, and called for a simple solution.
The laughter began to warp, the sounds becoming random and illogical. After a few seconds, it came back, but there was no more mockery in the sound. No, this was the sound of children playing. Cracks began to form in the cavern walls, a blackness seeping in to block the view.
Luna raised her horn and fired a single beam into the air. It struck the very top of the cavern, which caused the whole thing to shatter like glass. The sound made the foal jump to her hooves with a yelp, her head swiveling about as the walls faded into a bubbly black cloud that drifted away on a soft breeze.
They stood on a sandy beach, the ocean stretching out before them. Waves lapped at their hooves in a lazy rhythm, and behind them was a plain of endless green grass dotted with purple and white flowers. It was night, but the moon shined brightly alongside a brilliant starscape.
The filly gasped and spun in a circle, trying to take it all in. When she spotted Luna she shrank back, eyes going wide and ears folding. Only now did Luna notice that she was a unicorn, her tiny horn poking out of a messy blonde mane.
For several seconds, they merely stared at once another. Luna could see the worry in the foal’s eyes and had to fight to keep her expression neutral. Eventually, she turned away and left the filly alone, prepared to leave the dream entirely to continue her duties.
“Umm…”
She paused, the tiniest of gasps breaking through her royal veneer.
“Are you the Moon Princess?”
Why did Luna suddenly feel like bolting? She shook off the desire and looked back over her shoulder to find the filly standing tall once more and looking up at her with big, curious eyes.
“Y-yes, I am your Lunar Princess.”
“Really?” The foal leaned forward. “Really really?”
Luna found herself in the uncommon position of having absolutely no idea what to do. After a few seconds she attempted to smile, fully aware of how terribly forced it was. “Yes, really.”
The filly’s eyes widened even more, if such a thing was possible. She sat and glanced around at the beach. “Did you make the mean foals go away?”
Turning to face the child properly, butterflies floating in her stomach, Luna nodded. “I did.”
The foal looked up at her, jaw loose and eyes going moist. Her shoulders shook as the tears prepared to break free.
There was a rising feeling in Luna’s chest, a distinct panic that threatened to take over her mind. Once again she felt an urge to bolt from this dream entirely.
The filly’s hooves kicked up sand as she burst into a gallop straight for the princess. She leapt and wrapped her tiny legs around one of Luna’s.
“Thank you!” It was all she managed to get out before breaking down into sobs. She pressed her cheeks to Luna’s leg and wailed, the sound piercing the night air.
Luna’s jaw dropped. In spite of her bleeding heart, something else held her attention, a feeling she almost couldn’t fathom. All her anxiety left her as she dropped down to press the foal to her chest with a single leg. Amidst all the sobbing, Luna smiled.
“Shh,” she cooed. “It’s okay, my little pony. It’s going to be okay.” Such words… she’d not offered such words in so long. The whispered sounds that Luna offered were as precious to her as they were to the filly bawling into her coat. They tasted sweet on her lips, like nectar.
Eventually, the foal’s sobs faded to mere sniffles. Luna patted her small head with a smile. “There, all better, yes?”
The filly nodded but continued to cling to Luna’s chest. “W-will they come b-back?”
“Hmm…” With a hoof to her lips, Luna considered the foal. “What is your name, little one?”
“D-Dinky.”
Luna set a hoof to Dinky’s chin, making her look up. “Dinky. Why do ponies say such things to you?”
The tiny face scrunched up, but Dinky rubbed her eyes and kept from crying. “Th-they’re making fun of mommy. Her eyes are broke.”
“Broke?” Luna tilted her head. “Her eyes aren’t really ‘broke,’ are they?”
“Mommy says they’re fine, but they’re not.” Dinky pulled away from Luna’s hoof and bowed her head. “The other foals say she’s dumb. Mommy’s not dumb!”
Luna’s smile broadened a touch. “She’s not?”
“No!” Dinky glared up at her, cheeks puffed out and red.
Leaning over the foal, Luna asked, “So what is your mommy?”
Dinky paused, her face twisting as she struggled to understand Luna’s meaning. “She’s… um… Mommy’s…” She crossed her hooves and sulked.
“Dinky?” Luna waited for the foal to look up. “What do you like about your mommy?”
A moment passed as Dinky stared at her, and then her face lit up. “She’s fun! She takes me flying.”
“Oh?” Luna took only a moment to wonder at Dinky’s horn before offering another smile. “Go on, tell me more.”
“She works a lot.” Dinky frowned at that thought. “I wish she’d be home more. But Mommy brings home candies from Bonbon’s!” The grin came back in a flash. “And she helps me with letters and tells me stories. Like yours.”
Luna leaned back as the filly pointed towards her. “M… My story?”
“Uh-huh.” Dinky nodded emphatically. “You live on the moon and your sister missed you. You had a fight and couldn’t come home. Mommy says the Eme…” she scrunched her face and worked her lips. “The… The Elephants of Harming?”
A hoof over her face and great willpower were the only things that saved Luna from revealing her smile. “Elements of Harmony?”
“Yeah!” Dinky bounced, her smile back in full spread. “Mommy says they taught you and your sister to be friends again.” She paused and tilted her head. “Is that true?”
Luna’s chest swelled. “It is. My sister and I are good friends again, just like we used to be.”
“Good.” Dinky kicked at the sand and her smile faded. “But why don’t you come out?”
The swelling reversed course; suddenly Luna’s heart was in a vice. “C-come out?”
Her face set in what was probably meant to be a confident expression, Dinky sat down and raised her hoof as though to dictate. “Mommy says the Moon Princess never leaves the castle. She says you hide ’cause you’re scared that ponies don’t like you.” She lowered her hoof and shook her head. “I think that’s silly. I like you.”
For a time, Luna could only stare at the little pony. “How… What makes your mother think I’m scared?”
Dinky shrugged. “I think Miss Sparkle told her.”
“You know Twilight Sparkle?”
The filly nodded so forcefully Luna wondered if her head wasn’t about to pop off. “Uh-huh! She’s the libwa… librarian. She’s real smart and nice and knows lots of magic. She lets Mommy borrow books to read me.” Dinky gave a little bounce and grinned. “I wanna be like Miss Sparkle when I grow up!”
Dinky’s happiness was infectious; Luna found herself smiling down at her. “That’s very ambitious. I’m sure Miss Sparkle is honored. Now—“ she lowered her face so it was level with the filly’s, “—do you know what you need to do when the other foals talk about your mommy?”
The smile faded quickly as Dinky shrank back and looked at her hooves. “Um… I don’t know. If I was good at magic like Miss Sparkle, I’d turn them into frogs.”
Luna swiftly raised a hoof to her lips to hold in her snicker. “That’s… one option. Are you good at magic like Miss Sparkle?”
Dinky kicked the sand with a pitiable “No…”
“Well then, I have something else to try.” She once again raised Dinky’s head by the chin. “The next time the others talk about your mommy, I want you to tell them exactly what makes your mommy so special.”
The foal frowned as she considered this advice. “Why?”
“Because then you’ll be proud, and their words can’t hurt you.” Luna nuzzled Dinky. “You know your mommy is the best, so tell them that. When you show them how much you love your mommy, they’ll stop.”
“But what if they don’t?”
“Then at least you know how special your mommy is.” Luna beamed down at the filly as she sat up. “As long as you remember just how good she is, their words won’t hurt.”
“Oh…” Dinky was still thinking on the matter, but eventually she smiled and nodded. “Okay, I’ll try. Thank you, Princess!”
“And thank you,” she replied with a sigh.
“For what?”
“For liking me.” Luna winked, eliciting a small giggle from Dinky. She could feel that swelling sensation in her chest again and couldn’t help but grin as she turned away.
“Do you want to play?”
Luna paused to look back at Dinky. “Oh, I am sorry, little one. I would, but I’m a little busy. I have other little ponies to visit in their dreams.”
“Aww…” Dinky pouted, but quickly regained her smile. “Thank you for helping, Princess. I’ll tell Mommy you came. Umm…” She glanced around at the empty beach. “How do I go home?”
There was no resisting a laugh this time. “Do not worry, Dinky. Dreams are for playing, so play to your heart’s content. When it’s time to go home, you’ll be there.”
“Oh, okay!”
The filly promptly sat down and began toying with the sand, a large scoop appearing in her hooves without her even noticing. “I’m gonna make you a castle, like your sister’s! It’ll be better than hers,” she added with confidence.
Luna chuckled and lifted off, floating backwards as the filly waved. “I’m sure it will be. Farewell, little one! It has been a pleasure.”
“Goodbye, Princess Luna!”
She turned away, flapping towards the moon with an energy she’d not felt in a very, very long time.
“She wasn’t afraid of me at all!”
Octavia giggled at the beaming princess, who was clapping her hooves and grinning in a way she’d never seen before. “That’s great, Luna. I knew ponies would begin warming up to you before long.”
“But this wasn’t just a pony,” Luna replied theatrically. “It was a foal. She couldn’t have been more than four. The youngest are usually the most afraid.” She set a shaking hoof to her lips, eyes shining. “If even a foal can like me, then surely anypony can in time… right?”
“I fail to grasp why they don’t like you now.” Octavia took a dainty bite from the pasta sitting at the table before her and let out a small sigh. She took a moment to swallow and dab her lips with a handkerchief. “Is all the food you eat this good?”
“Hmmph.” Luna turned her nose up from her own plate. “Back in my time, they used to include chicken or shrimp, perhaps some grilled beef. Clearly ponies have lost their sense of taste over the last thousand years.”
Octavia choked on her second bite. “R-really?”
Luna snorted out a laugh. “No, but you should have seen the look on your face.”
“Oh.” Octavia sank back in her chair with a sigh and a smile. “You have a gift for looking serious.”
“Hmm…” Luna frowned and stared at her untouched plate. “Maybe that’s why most ponies don’t care for me. Yet if that were so, why did little Dinky warm up to me?”
“Maybe because of her mother?” Octavia ventured with a shrug. Another polite bite.
“Perhaps… and she did mention my sister’s protégé.” Luna fork stirred the pasta about as she pondered. “Mayhap the Element of Magic is trying to improve my image?”
Octavia watched Luna with a small frown, her eyes lingering on the fork. “Is something wrong?”
Luna flinched and looked up with uncertain eyes. “No, nothing’s wrong.” She took a quick bite, perhaps for emphasis.
Silence passed between them as they continued to eat. Octavia had a lot of questions on her mind, some more pressing than others. She spent the time attempting to sort her thoughts.
“You have a very dignified way of eating,” Luna said. She glanced away as soon as Octavia tried to meet her eyes.
“Thank you.” Octavia offered a warm smile. “I spent a lot of time practicing to use cutlery properly. It isn’t easy, not without a horn.”
“Why?”
The fork paused just outside Octavia’s mouth. “I beg your pardon?”
Luna’s mouth snapped closed and she blushed. “Forgive me, I shouldn’t pry.”
An awkward quiet passed between them as Luna focused particularly hard on eating. Octavia studied her once more, buying time by chewing slowly. It wasn’t a bad tactic, if her taste buds had anything to say about it. Yet it was hard to really enjoy the meal with her host so… timid.
Octavia thought on how excited – perhaps ‘giddy’ was the better word – Luna had been throughout this visit. To see her withdrawing once more… she didn’t like it. Not at all.
“My sister.”
Luna looked up. “What?”
Averting her gaze, Octavia said, “I… have an older sister. I used to look up to her a lot.”
A smile formed across Luna’s face. “Go on.”
Octavia sighed and fiddled with her fork. “Benjamina’s opinion was always important to me. She’s the rich pony in the family, and I wanted to be like her.”
“I see.” Luna leaned forward, her smile broadening. “So that’s why you wish to become an ‘Important Pony?’ I know a bit about looking up to a sister.”
Another, deeper sigh escaped Octavia as she toyed with her food.
“Octavia?”
She closed her eyes. The familiar, unpleasant sound filled her head. “She laughed at me.”
“Your sister?”
Octavia nodded, setting her fork down as her stomach knotted. “I told her what I wanted to do for a living, and she laughed in my face. It… It really hurt. She said I’d never become an elite like her by playing the cello.”
“I see…” Luna sighed and shook her head. “So your drive is to prove her wrong?”
“Something like that.” Octavia pushed her plate away and leaned against the table, wishing her stomach would calm down.
Yet another lingering silence. She was coming to hate it when that happened. Slow, measured breaths helped her fight down the bitterness that tried to rise up within her.
“You can do it, Octavia.”
She looked up to find Luna smiling at her. “I have listened to you play once a week for a month now, and let us not forget how I watched you from your dreams. Trust in your special talent, and you will achieve that goal.”
Octavia huffed a feeble laugh and pressed a hoof to her cheek. “Playing the cello isn’t my special talent.” Seeing Luna’s jaw drop was a little satisfying, but only a little. “That’s a pretty typical reaction.”
The princess closed her mouth, but she was still staring. “You… you mean you have something else? What is it?”
The blood rushed to Octavia’s cheeks as she averted her eyes. She mumbled her response.
Luna leaned forward. “What was that?”
With a wince, Octavia spoke up. “Singing. My special talent is singing.”
“Oh.” Luna set a hoof to her chin, her brow furrowing. “Now that you speak of it, that does better suit your cutie mark. Why keep it a secret?”
Octavia fidgeted and stared at her plate. “It’s not a secret, really. I just… I don’t like drawing attention to it.”
Luna considered her with the smallest of frowns. “Because of your sister?”
“Something like that.” Octavia looked up at last. “Can we please not discuss this? I’d rather focus on your progress.”
“I suppose.” Luna’s frown deepened a touch as she focused on her food. “I do not wish to pry… though I will admit that my recent success isn’t so easy to enjoy knowing that you may be suffering.”
“I am here for you, Princess,” Octavia said, going rigid and pulling her plate back towards herself. She held her head high. “You don’t need to worry about me.”
For a third time, silence reigned. Luna cast a forlorn look Octavia’s way, but made no attempt to reply. For that Octavia was glad. She tried to enjoy what was left of her meal, but for some reason it didn’t seem as appetizing as it had a few moments ago.
The quiet lingered, and Octavia started to struggle with her poise. Her host ate slowly and kept fidgeting. She kept trying to meet Octavia’s eyes, but couldn’t seem to manage it. It was after several long minutes of this that Octavia was struck by the peculiarity of the situation, at which point she began to fidget and look for a new topic.
“S-so,” she said at last, “are you going to be doing anything for Nightmare Night?”
Luna’s fork dropped to her plate with a clink, her expression twisting like she’d been stabbed. “Do not speak to me of that… holiday.” She spat out the word like it was poisonous.
Octavia blinked. “You don’t like… oh.”
“‘Oh’ is correct.” Luna sneered and turned her face away. “And to think, Celestia actually suggested I go out and celebrate it.”
Octavia flinched and looked down, her cheeks burning. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”
Luna pressed a hoof to her forehead. “’Tis not your fault, Octavia. If anypony is to blame, I suppose it is me.”
“But—”
“No.” Luna shot her a one-eyed frown. “Like it or not, I created Nightmare Moon. So when little foals travel around mocking me, I have only myself to blame.”
Something about the way Luna said that struck a chord within Octavia. She sat up straight and shook her head. “They’re not mocking you.”
“Then what would you call it?” Luna spread her hooves wide. “They go out and listen to a story about how I am going to eat them if they don’t give me any confectionary. Worse, the foals believe it!” She grumbled and glared at her half-finished plate. “No wonder they all fear me.”
Octavia frowned at the princess, a strange mix of concern and annoyance filling her. “Dinky didn’t.”
Luna didn’t look up. “Perhaps she doesn’t attend that abominable festival.”
“Or perhaps she knows that Nightmare Night is about having fun.”
“Fun?” Luna peered at Octavia, her lips curling back to show her teeth. “You think I like that children believe I’m going to eat them?”
“Dinky didn’t believe you were going to eat her.” Octavia pressed a hoof to her chest. “I remember going out for Nightmare Night as a foal. I was entertained.”
Luna slammed her hoof against the table, making the whole thing shake. Her wings jerked open as she snarled. “We are done discussing this! If you like Nightmare Night so much—”
“You are not Nightmare Moon!”
Her lips stilled, Luna stepped back from the table. She seemed to shrink, her wings snapped to her sides and her body low. Her wide eyes stared at nothing as her lips trembled.
“I was. I w-was her. Do not speak as though it didn’t happen.”
Octavia felt her body grow cold. “I-I’m sorry. That was… I shouldn’t have brought it up at all. But… if I may… you’re not her anymore.” She chewed her lip and averted her eyes from Luna’s shivering form. The sight felt so wrong. “They don’t mean anything mean-spirited by it, pri… Luna.”
“M-maybe they don’t,” Luna whispered as she slowly sat up. “But it hurts all the same.”
The silence was intensely frustrating. How many times was this? Neither of them touched their plates, and they couldn’t meet one another’s eyes. Octavia’s mind couldn’t escape the recent conversation. It swirled around the subject of Nightmare Night, refusing to give up on the topic no matter how much she wanted it to. She didn’t dare say anything about it again, though she was nigh desperate to do so.
“Forgive me.” Luna tapped her plate with a hoof. “I’ve ruined our dinner.”
Octavia studied the princess’s forlorn face. She hated seeing that pout. It didn’t belong there.
The thought gave her a renewed courage.
“Where does that foal live?”
Luna blinked and looked up. “You mean Dinky? Ponyville. Why?”
“Go there.” Octavia leaned forward in an attempt to show her determination. “This weekend for Nightmare Night. Go to Ponyville.”
A groan rose from Luna’s throat and she shook her head. “I thought we were finished with this conversation.”
“Luna, aren’t you aware of the chance this offers?” Octavia asked. “Dinky wasn’t afraid. She likes you. There has to be a reason. Go to Ponyville and find out. Maybe there are more ponies there who aren’t stuck on the whole Nightmare Moon thing.”
“No.” Luna shook her head. “That… that won’t happen.”
“But how do you know if you don’t try?” Octavia sat back and raised her hooves. “Right now, Nightmare Night is about Nightmare Moon. Why not show them that you and her aren’t the same?”
“But we—”
“You’re not the same.” This time when Luna flinched, Octavia only leaned forward to press her words. “Nightmare Moon is gone, so why don’t you take this opportunity to take the holiday away from her? Make it about you.”
Luna studied her, fidgeting in place. “It’s not that simple. I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Octavia, but you’re suggesting I overturn something that has been set in place for centuries.”
Octavia shook her head. “I’m not saying do away with the traditions. Just let them see that you aren’t her. It’s like…” she paused, tapping her chin in search of a proper explanation. “Let her be the boogiemare. Nightmare Moon is the villain, you’re the hero… or something like that.”
“You mean...” Luna cocked her head to one side, her eyes losing focus as she thought. “Like casting off the veil?”
“I suppose?” Octavia blushed and fiddled with her food. “Is that a bad idea?”
“I’m… not sure.” Luna set her elbows on the table and tapped her hooves together as she pondered. “I can’t say it’s a bad idea, but I’m not convinced it’s a good one, either.”
Octavia perked her ears with a weak smile. “So are you going to go?”
“Unlikely.”
“Oh.” She wilted and toyed with her food some more.
“Octavia?”
She looked up to find Luna smiling. “Thank you. I know you mean well.”
Octavia returned the smile. “Of course. What are friends for?”
Luna blinked, her smile fading. The lapse lasted for only a moment. “Of course.”
“Luna?”
Luna jerked as if coming out of a trance. She turned to find Celestia standing close, watching her with a frown.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes.” Luna blushed and turned back to the balcony to find the sun just peering over the horizon. “Forgive me, sister. I was merely lost in thought.”
“Hmm.” Celestia nodded, though she didn’t stop watching Luna. “So… how was dinner last night?”
“Pleasant enough.”
“Good, that’s good.” Celestia turned to stare out at the scenery. “How are you and Miss Melody getting along?”
“We’re fine.”
“Just ‘fine?’” Celestia’s eye shifted towards Luna, her frown deepening.
Luna sighed. “What do you want me to say, sister?”
Celestia turned her head to study her. “You never talk about her. I just want to know that you’re making a friend.”
“Friend.” Luna closed her eyes and saw Octavia’s soft smile.
What are friends for?
“I… I guess I have.” A smile arose on her lips. “Yes, I think that is a safe conclusion.”
Celestia let out a long sigh and bowed her head. “That’s good. That’s wonderful, Luna.” She looked up, this time with a beaming smile. “Perhaps more will come.”
“Perhaps.” Luna frowned, her mind once again playing over the conversation over dinner. “Perhaps if I…”
“Luna?” Celestia eyed her. “What is it?”
Luna remained silent, slowly turning her head to look to the south. There, just barely visible in the distance, sat the sleepy town of Ponyville. Her heart clenched and her stomach flipped as she thought on the possibilities.
“Luna?”
“Sister?” Luna turned to Celestia, her cheeks burning and her eyes low. “C-could you tell me a… a little more about Nightmare Night?”
Celestia’s eyes widened. Her gaze slowly shifted from Luna to the distant town, then back again.
Her smile came back.
“I’d love to.”
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I liked Dinky's characterization. She didn't act like a drooling infant and she wasn't a mini-adult either. I'd say you struck the happy medium in terms of childishness.
Octavia and Luna's dynamic continues to get more and more interesting. They both have things the other doesn't know about and that creates tension when one tries to help the other and it backfires in a way they didn't expect. I'm excited to see more of this.
5245516
Good to know! Here's hoping I can continue to write foals appropriately.
Another great chapter!
I wasn't aware Octavia had a characterisation in the show...
As for this fic her characterisation has been very consistent as of yet.
5245820
5246231
Uh, no, Octavia doesn't have any characterization in the show. Did I suggest otherwise?
But yes, I was talking directly about her characterization so far in this story. It's not my usual depiction of her, so maintaining it is tricky.
I have to ask: why are you giving Horseshoepin a German accent? The real Chopin was born Polish and later moved to France. If you're going to use a character with an obvious parallel to a real person, why alter that part of it, when it would have been easy to do a little research and get it right? If you were going to make such a fundamental change, you could have just used an OC.
And now Luna fans are about to introduce their trick-or-treat bags to you instead?)
Since Luna had spotted those red lights in the previous chapter, things looked a little, um, disturbing in my eyes, but "Pragti" tastes more... recreative? I'm glad to see you respect fans' position, so I shouldn't worry that something will go that wrong at Nightmare Night fest.. should I?)
Now I'm going to trixie away and being fluttershy for some more time^^
5247642
The most direct and self-eviscerating answer to your query:
I did not know that.
All I knew was that the name Frederick Horseshoepin was based on Chopin. That is literally the extent of my knowledge in this vein. I didn't know Chopin was actually Polish or that he moved to France. I just saw that there was a pony named after Chopin playing piano at the gala and let my creative mind take his character wherever it wanted. I wasn't even trying to base the characterization off the real Chopin; I completely made up Frederick's character in my head without any reference material (save to research how to write a German accent).
So yeah, you're accrediting me with far more knowledge than I actually have. This is one of the few instances where I'll profess my total ignorance.
5248023
I respect fan intentions to an extent and when it suits my own interests. The fans wanting to see me recreate a little bit of Nightmare Night is a reasonable request to meet, because it's not hard to make it play out with the storyline. I'm also known for blatantly defying fan expectations, though.
I like how you did both Dinky and Octavia in this chapter. Dinky especially seemed very realistic.
5248308
that's two in favor of my foal characterization! Thanks muchly.
5248286
I see)) I'll be watching). Maybe those defied expectations will be not mine )
5248334 It is not a problem.
I noticed the improvement with Dinky and I loved the scene. You could push it further to make her seem even younger, but I think this is just right for our general opinion of her age. Maybe the conversarion turned over one too many times at the start of that next scene, but it was still very enjoyable. Thanks for another chapter so soon!
5248736
Soon? dude, you waited, like, 4 weeks for this thing! I was wringing my hands two weeks ago because I hadn't posted one.
...
...yeah, I'm an odd duck.
This story has been wonderful. I look forward to seeing future chapters.
5257698
I'm trying to go for an update every two weeks, so hopefully your wait won't be too terribly long.
Why thank you, oh King of the Flanks.
5257899 You know for a second there I thought you called me an ass kisser XD
5258363
LoL! I wondered if you'd make that mistake, actually. Couldn't think of a better way ponify 'Franks.'
About time EqD got a hold of this.
5249314 Uhm... Yes! If we're both talking the same metaphorical pool of literature, then GN would be... uhm, easier for new readers to wade in to?
Yeah, kinda lost myself there. Again. Also, that Second Strings thing was me characterizing how you put an original, more thoughtful take on one shot/ background ponies. If there is a 'Second Strings' thing out there that defines another device, then I don't know what it is.
Just to really kill that swimming pool metaphor, where would you place No Heroes or Twilight's Inferno in terms of deeper thinking?
5259417
Amen to that!
5259450
Although I would love to write a story that is truly 'deep,' I never really felt like I achieved it. Twilight's Inferno is by far the closest I've ever come, if I do say so myself, which is one of the reasons I really consider it my best story.
Yet I find that the harder I try to create a thought-provoker (A Figment of Her Imagination comes to mind), the more forced it feels in that vein. Better is to write a story that isn't so deep on the surface and let my underlying messages be portrayed on a subconscious level... which has actually been very effective. I don't know how many times people have commented on something in a story that I never thought of but, upon inspection, is actually very accurate to what I was trying to achieve.
As far as taking an original course on an 'established' non-established character, that was actually a major goal. Back when I wrote No Heroes and the original The Gentle Nights, I actually did a lot of research on the fanon view of Octavia and took intentional steps to avoid them. I wanted Octavia to be my character, not everyone else's. Audience of One follows this tradition, with only a few minor changes made to my Octavia to better fit the new narrative.
I dont belive I have read any of your other stuff yet so I can't comment on the development of your skill, but I can tell you that the scene with dinky brought a tear to my eye.
I look forward to the next chapter.
Dang it, I've caught up and now I've got to wait for the next chapters. I've thoroughly enjoyed the fic so far and I'm looking forward to seeing how octavia and vinyl perform together.
5270281
Good to know! And I look forward to publishing the next chapter... though it's proving a challenge to write.
5270286
Glad you're enjoying it. a number of people are wondering about Vinyl and Octy... which got me to wondering about some things too. I have plans for those two, oh yes.
I do have to say, this is the first story I read of yours and I LOVE IT. The way you developed the characters makes me believe that this story is cannon. I love the style of writing you do and everything is just awesome. Keep up the great work and i can not wait for more Chapters.
5271999
Always good to hear! I shall endeavor to make this story the best I can. *salutes*
Well this chapter was great. I loved Dinky and I loved how she talked to Luna... Okay admittedly it is hard to talk about because I love Luna and Dinky so much but I'll just say that the whole dream sequence made me smile after Luna sent the bad ponies away. Before they left I was down right angry though. After all kids can be rather cruel.
I'll see you at the next chapter.
More please. I'm dying to know the rest.
5287622
The next chapter comes out this weekend!
Nobel was right, you sure like the word "was". Excellent story
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png
Look at you, Mister I-get-a-comment-with-my-shiny-new-ribbon.
Both of us together, w00h00!
5295820
Yeeeeah, I'm trying to phase that out with my latest chapters, now that I'm aware. Anyway, thanks and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
5295991
I think mine is shinier.
*notices your much larger collection*
...
Yeah, nvm.
So far a nice expansion on the earlier story. I can't wait for updates.
Dinky was absolutely adorable, and very spot-on for a small child. Nicely done! And Octavia's special talent is singing? Interested to see if this is explored later...
Well I'm gonna bet that Luna tries to “help” Octavia achieve her goal of eliteness and it becomes a source of tension later in the story. And I hope you're not going to show us her experience at nightmare night; we all watched that episode
A dozen times when it came out already.
There's an oops in here.
I was wondering how you were going to follow up with the previous chapter and this only accented my infatuation with Luna. What was really touching was Luna's interaction with Dinky that showed a more loving motherly touch that is usually associated with Celestia, I definitely want more of this, and I had to take pauses because it was making me emotional. (I have kids so it was hitting that cord)
One thing I wish that occurred was when Octavia was talking about her sister and how she wished she could be like her through playing the cello. It would of been a nice moment if Luna said "You did it," because Octavia actively plays for a princess on a regular bases. I don't know about you but that is an incredible opportunity that I feel that its not conveyed enough. Plus it gives Luna a mark for comforting Octavia since (for the most part) Octavia has been doing the heavy lifting in the relationship. Hopefully, in the future chapters Luna will be able to comfort Octavia because I genuinely love to see that side of her.
petition for story about the Elephants of Harming :V