• Published 6th Sep 2014
  • 300 Views, 24 Comments

eVIL gRAPES - Blue Valentine

James just really wants a hamburger.

  • ...

Chapter 3/4: tHE lAST gRAPEVINE

The two mares were dead for a while. Later, a new burger master appeared in the universe. The two mares smelled the heavenly smell, and were alive. They woke up in Las Pegasus.

"Where are we, Carla?"
"I think we're in heaven..."
"Laelia, don't say that, Adventure Time could sue you!!!"
"Oh yes."

Laelia looked at the burger place.

"Are you thinking what i'm thinking...?"

They looked at each other.

"Ew, I hate mustard."
"WHAT, I love mustard."
"I don't think we can be friends anymore."
"But first, lemme take a hambagah-selfie!"

*Music starts playing*
Laelia holds up a hamburger and takes a selfie with her phone. Carla holds up a hamburger and takes a selfie with Laelia and her hamburger.

"Umm, I don't like you Carla."

Laelia took a pink hamburger and slapped Carla with it.

"No... I thought we were friends, Laelia..."
"Carla... I'm sorry."
"I cannot forgive you... I too apologize but..."
"But what, Carla, but what?"
"...........I. Must. Be. JAMES!!"

Carla took the remains of the pink hamburger and sprinkled it on top of Laelia and Laelia fainted.

"Wh-where am I?" Said Laelia.
"Heheheheh. You are in Las Pegasus jail."
"Yeah! You're in trouble for stealing my name! Ask my lawyer!"
"Your lawyer?"
"Yeah. Her name is Rainbow Da-"
"Yeah, I was kidding. Its Pinkie Pie."

Then Pinkie walked in.

"HELLO! My name is Pinkie Pie!
I like eating candy and I like baking pie!
I help the world with justice and laughter,
I send ponies like you to jail like a fulaugherfluffle."

Carla was so impressed that she died. At that moment, Laelia broke out of the jail cell.


Laelia ran out the door, but as soon as she got out, a piano fell on her. Then, a cello fell on her.

"Sorry." said Octavia.

But it was too late. Laelia was dead forever.......Until the very next day!

Laelia found her way all the way to the new, improved breezies cave.


From behind the cave, Carla popped up.

"Not this time, Laelia! You are not James worthy!"

Carla took a breezie out of the cave magically. She ate it. It tasted like rainbows. SPICY! But at that moment, Carla turned into a giant breezie! She picked up Laelia.

"This friendship is over. But you will always be in my-"

Carla put Laelia into her mouth. Ew.

And James lived on (which means Carla is James, not Laelia, okay, OKAY!?)

Later, a pony named Emma came up to Carla the breezie. She suddenly said the first thing that came to mind,

"Did you know girls live longer than boys?"

No, Carla did not.


By Layla D.
(edited by Carly S.)

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Comments ( 22 )

Is this a troll fic? I DON'T EVEN KNOW LOL

What? I don't even know what this story is about.

How am I supposed to judge a fic when I don't even comprehend it?

Overall: C-/2563%

Someone has got a broken caps lock button
Edit: My dear god. I just read it....
This is so random. It goes on and on. No time to take a breath... My... I.... Please.... What did I just smoke?
And the worst thing is, that I completely understand this story....

We know that our story is akweird. It may be hard to understand, or maybe a bit weird and fast-going, but that's the point. It is called, COMEDY.
Carly S.

4961677 exactly. Comedy is ment to be random and awkward... At some points....

4961677 Something tells me you rolled your face on the keyboard, called the resulting product (read: this) a story, and then you make two split personalities and blame the level of GAWDAWFUL on Split Personality A because Split Personality B was innocent.

Yeah, I'll believe that for about two milliseconds of my life. :ajbemused:

5140872 AWESOME! Two milliseconds, geez, I don't even think I could even think for that long! Thank you!!!:raritystarry::raritystarry:

5140872 ?? What?? This wasn't a great piece, (well duh) but it was something we put together before we started fimfic, just as friendly fun. Sooo, in a wayyy, its kinda a trollfic? And oh yeah they aren't split-personalities, its about me and my crazy friend and our craziness mixed into a dream-scene that would be quite realistic if you're in a dream world... :rainbowhuh::pinkiecrazy::pinkiegasp::ajsleepy::ajsmug:

5140879 :facehoof: Your level of incoherence and ability to not read the context of EVERYTHING I JUST SAID A FEW MINUTES AGO astounds me. You need help--a lot of it.

5140896 This was a troll fic, so nopony is SUPPOSED to like it. If it has 1000 dislikes, we won't care, it's our weirdest story yet, and weirdness means SWAG.


ABOUT stands for A Billion Ostriches Using Twigs:raritywink:

5140893 I didn't understand a word you just said at the last sentence. Please talk to me more coherently before we try this discussion again. :ajbemused:

5140896 ... just as I said... this wasn't a real piece of hard work. And this isn't our only story. And I can assure you, neither of us need any sort of "help" XDDDDD

5140909 Yay, we'll have a discussion again! What'll it be about? GRAPES?:pinkiegasp:

5140896 This is coming to be super hilarious :pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpytongue2::yay:


weirdness means SWAG.

I think 'swag' is dying off, but that's just me. Excuse me while I walk out the door.

5140901 Layla what does that word mean? Oh and QUICK CHAT ME!:rainbowderp:


and weirdness means SWAG




5142240 Well, instead of reading my awkweird comments, READ THE STORY INSTEAD!:scootangel:

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