Twilight Struggle

by Twiface

Turn 2: Raise this Barn!

--Turn 2: Raise This Barn--
“Primary Targets: Any and All Red Chinese Invaders!”

“Hello, chillllllllllllldren!” sang a familiar voice from the radio. “It’s Tree Dog, achoo! And you’re listening to Universe News Radio, bringing you the news!”

“We’ve got a major news flash straight from Canterlot! As all of you know, Equestria’s locked in a tight cold war against the zebras. Not a rough and physical war like the wars of old, but a psychological one. Instead of tanks and soldiers, this war’s being fought with PR campaigns and spies. Speaking of spies, a ring of them known as ‘The Canterlot Five’ was recently outed after passing along secret documents to zebra agents. Only four of ‘em were discovered, meaning the fifth one is still missing. In response to this, her majesty Princess Luna has founded a new ministry, the Canterlot Intelligence agency, for the purpose of coordinating espionage activities abroad and strengthening counterintelligence at home. Now those zebras will think twice before spying on our country.”

“Thanks for listening, chilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllldren! This is Tree Dog, achoo! And you’re listening to Universe News Radio—“

Twilight turned off the radio and stuck her tongue out at the phantom. It sighed and revealed all of its cards, Twilight’s reward for brilliantly coming up with the idea for founding the CIA. Well, ok, it wasn’t really her idea because she just read it off a card, but she took credit for it. And she told Princess Luna. Which made it actually happen. You get the point.

Now that Twilight had full view of the zebras’ hoof, she could plan out her next moves more insightfully. But the phantom, through the intelligence gathered by the Canterlot Five, had just revealed the scoring cards that Twilight held: Kadur and Emerelda. Shit was getting tense.

“Where should I spend my ops point, Spike?” asked Twilight.

“Wha-what?” asked Spike, just waking up from a nap. “Your ops point?”

“My ops point,” Twilight repeated. “You know, the operations point I get from the ‘CIA’ card?”

“Oh, that…” said Spike, feigning comprehension. “Um… you should spend it in South Chollima or Suindael. It looks like they might get invaded pretty soon.”

“You’re right,” said Twilight. “I need to support my allies. I think I’ll place it in South Chollima. I’m really lacking in the Kadur region, and they could surely use my help.”

Twilight placed her ops point in South Chollima, which was on the verge of war with North Chollima. With the one point she began the game with, she now had an influence in this country of two.

After strenuously looking over its cards, the zebra phantom played the ‘Applejack Plan’ card for the ops points. It then placed three points in The Three Kingdoms and one point in Leopardia.

At the same time though, it inexplicably caused Applejack to declare that Equestria was giving aid to the nations of Western Primus, and hundreds of long-lost members of the Apple family instantly appeared in Swisherland, South Griffonia, Caledonia, The Kingdom of Canis, Trotterdam, Unicornicopia, and the Tsardom of Muskovy to rebuild damaged structures. Equestria gained one influence point in all of these countries.

“Wow!” exclaimed Twilight. “The stuff we do in this game really does have an impact on real life!”

“And in real time, too!” added Spike. “I never knew that members of the Apple Family could teleport!”

“Well, Pinkie can,” said Twilight. “We’ve known that for a loooong time.”

“Are you sure she’s part of Applejack’s family?” asked Spike. “That episode was inconclusive.”

“Well, if Applejack’s family can teleport just like Pinkie, then of course she’s part of the Apple Family,” reasoned Twilight.

“Applejack is raising a barn in Primus,” boomed a deep electronic voice. “A barn of democracy.”

“Who said that?” asked Twilight, looking around for the mysterious voice yet completely disregarding the giant robot in the corner.

“Beats me,” said Spike, also looking around for the mysterious voice yet completely disregarding the giant robot in the corner. “But he’s right: we just gained seven influence points in Western Primus!”

“But now I’m worried about Kadur,” said Twilight nervously. “The phantom just placed one influence point in Leopardia, taking it over, and three in The Three Kingdoms, taking them over as well!”

“Oh, no!” said Spike. “No, nononononononono. No! This has to end right now! We can’t let them take over the continent!”

“And I won’t!” said Twilight. Then she played ‘Impeccable Planning,’ a card which showed a picture of herself on it.

“Now they have to randomly discard one of their cards,” said Twilight. “Hopefully it will get rid of one of those two ‘war’ cards the phantom’s got.”

The phantom hesitated, then shuffled its cards. It randomly drew one card out and put it in the discard pile.

“‘Nuclear Test Ban?’” exclaimed Spike. “That’s not a war card!”

“Yes…” said Twilight, “But it would have given them victory points.”

“At least we’re still ahead,” said Spike, “But with the scoring cards, that might change.”

“That’s why I’m playing ‘I’d Take Cover If I Were You’ for the ops points,” said Twilight. “With three points, I can take control of Neighpon, which is exactly what I’m going to do.”

“Smart move,” said Spike. “That’ll make it harder for the ‘Chollima War,’ if the phantom ever plays it.”

But the phantom didn’t play it. Instead, it played ‘The Three Kingdoms Card’ for four ops points. The phantom used these points to add four influence to Neighpon, upsetting Equestria’s control over it and turning it into a contested state. Because all of the points were used in Kadur, the Three Kingdoms Card gave it one extra ops point, which the phantom used to take control of Neighpon.
“What???” shrieked Twilight. “It—it—“

“It just took over Neighpon!” shrieked Spike. “What are we going to do?”

“I—I uh… I need to think about this,” stammered Twilight as she collected herself. “I need to gain more influence in that region, otherwise the Chollima war might be a success. Let’s see… maybe if I used ‘Independent Purples’ for the ops points.”

Twilight discarded ‘Independent Purples’ for the ops points. Then she put the ops points into Neighpon, raising her influence up to six and taking back control.

“Phew!” she said. “That was a relief.”

The phantom, agitated by this move, retaliated by discarding his card ‘Death of King Zebra’ for three ops points.” It then used these points to boost zebra influence in Neighpon up to eight.

“Damnit!” cried Twilight. “This is getting pointless. Now I’ll have to play ‘Crimarean Abdication’ for its ops points, even though it will trigger a zebra event.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” asked Spike. “It only gives one point.”

“I’m doing what I have to,” said Twilight. “There. Discarded for one point. I’ll place it in Leboarnon, over here in Centralia, for when it plays the ‘Suindael War’ card.”

Twilight took control of Leboarnon while the zebras gained sufficient influence in the Crimarea for control. Then it was the zebras’ turn.

The phantom determined that Kadur was ripe for war. It played the dreaded ‘Chollima War’ card as an event, and rolled a die for the invasion. Landing a three, just short of the four that was minimum for victory. Oh, well. The phantom was at least happy to get +2 to the ‘Friendship ops’ track.

Twilight played the ‘Kadur Scoring’ card, not because she wanted to, but because she couldn’t keep it for a later turn. Twilight gained three victory points for having a presence in the region, but the phantom gained seven for dominating it. The score was now 4-6.

“Shit,” spat Twilight. “Now I’m losing.”

But the humiliation was not over yet. Laughing deeply, the phantom now played the ‘Equestria Games’ card.

“’Equestria Games?’” asked Spike, incredulously. “But—I thought that was only a pony thing.”

“No, Spike,” said Twilight sorrowfully. “Zebras are Equines too.”

“But ‘Equestria?’” asked Spike. “That’s the name of our country! We should be deciding where the games are held!”

“Apparently, somepony got the crazy idea that they should be held in enemy territory,” said Twilight. “Oh, well. We have the choice to either participate or boycott. If we participate, we compete, but they get the home field advantage. If we boycott, it lowers the DEFCON by one level and they get 4 ops points. I say let’s participate. It’s not like we have that much to lose.”

The dice were rolled, with Twilight getting one and the phantom six. But, since the phantom was the host, it got to add two more to its roll, for a total of eight. The phantom, being the clear winner, gained two more victory points, bringing its score up to eight.

“I suppose eight is not our lucky number,” said Twilight mournfully. “And perhaps neither is two.”

“Ahhh, cheer up, Twilight,” said Spike. “At least your next card won’t hurt you.”

Twilight’s last card, ‘Emerelda Scoring,’ didn’t grant either side any points since neither controlled any countries in Emerelda.
Except the zebras, but controlling your own homeland in this game doesn’t count.

With the end of the turn came the obligatory ‘Friendship Ops’ count. Neither side obtained the required amount of ‘friendship ops,’ but the zebras had two more than the ponies, losing only three victory points to the ponies’ five. I also forgot to count the zebras’ two victory points that they received from being the first to make an Earth Satellite, so now the score is -1 to 7, with the zebras in the lead by eight points.

The DEFCON is still at 5, its highest level.