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Can You Stay?

Rainbow Dash's dreams are crushed. All she ever wanted was gone. Now shes alone, depressed and upset. Will anyone be there for her?

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goaway

goaway #1 · Aug 29th, 2014 · · ·

Rainbow dash always has a smile on her face

Missing capital.

-FLASHBACK-

You don't really need to point this out when you've just said flashbacks are going through her mind. Rule of thumb is to put stuff not happening in the present, especially if it's just a short interlude, in italics. (If it's longer, make it a new scene.)

Her smile became into a frown in just a few seconds. Her dreams were crushed. She knew those words meant that her dreams were over. Her head hang down. "Oh ok..." She mumbled, accepting the decisions that they've made.

It's a bit out of character for RD to just give up so easily. She would be demanding to know why she didn't make the cut. She's pretty much the poster-pony for in-your-face brashness, remember?