- Member Since 26th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen January 15th
Osper
I'm a simple writer. I write whatever I feel like at the moment and I don't stick to any one genre very much. I just want to entertain with my work.
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First,
Very very nice story.
Good plot, a nice start.
And an innocent ending.
Nice!
I'm straight and I found this arousing. Odd. But I guess any stimulation works.
Yay for this pairing! Awesomness!
Although, not sure how hyginic that is, having sex in the premises where food is being prepared for sale 
494928
That was just breakfast, don't worry. The real food preparation is in shop.
OH SWEET CELESTIA THAT WAS AMAZING. I really liked how your story had a really good build-up with their friendship being able to develop over a longer time frame before getting down to business, unlike other stories I've read where the reader is supposed to assume the characters already have a connection, you were able to develop the relationship slowly until it hit the breaking point and transitioned into the clop section. Which I might add was also very well done. I liked the little bits of detail that really show how inexperienced both of them are, that really added to the "HHHNNNGGG" factor. It's great seeing as how I had entertained the thought of Big Mac and Donut Joe ship, (with them both being large stallions into baking), and it's great to see such a well done fic of just that.
497008
Thanks for the kind review and taking the time to look at every little thing. Glad to know I'm not the only Macintosh x Joe fan
One word describes it all for me.
D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw
So incredibly cute, any chance for a second chapter ;3?
535070
Probably not. I mean, it would just be more of them acting cute together and going on dates and dealing with other ponies reactions...well, that does sound nice. I'll think about it, but don't hold your breath
sadpanda.us/images/946552-SYJIGHW.gif
Pssshhh, Mac goes good with any pony.
But oh my god this got me 'going'....
Wait, why did I never comment on this after I favourited it? Oh well, I will say that I really enjoyed it. It was a nice blend of sweetness and good old-fashioned clop.
Great story! Loved it!
Very well done. Finally a clop fic with actual plot, not just bucking (which was very well done as well). Love the character development and the consistency of the overall story. Made my day
1047941
Thanks for your comment. It's always better when you can be emotionally invested in a character and that's only possible with some story behind it. Hopefully my next one will be just as well received.
why so little likes goddamnit
it was well written and a good plot not rushed (i tought they would have sex when Joe was drunk XD) and also its really cute
nice job man
1658944
I knew people would think that it would happen in the drunken part so I deliberately avoided that. Thanks for reading.
thnx for writting it...and for that twist
This was really good. Loved it.
A bit of constructive criticism:
Review your use of comma's and general sentence structure, there are a handful of errors here and there.
“Yes...yes...just like...just like that...”
Don't ever use the words "just like that" "so good" or any of that shit that you tend to hear in porno's ALL THE DAMN TIME. It tends to detract from the moment, purely because porn stars overuse those exact words. Also, add a bit of pain in the beginning there. It's Joe's first time, and BIG Macintosh just rammed himself into him. It is going to hurt at first, guaranteed, no matter how much lube you use.
Other than that, this was really good. The story was sweet and tender, and it really touched me. I enjoyed it a lot.
1664729
Thanks for the constructive tips. I'll try to use that next time I get around to writing stuff like this. I just wasn't sure what to have said during the moment so I went with what was expected, though I'm sure there could have been something better.
This story needs very little to being the best story ive ever read.
Also the line “Hey Joe.” Reminded me of this
3745592
Well, thank you very much! Glad I could make something you enjoyed reading.
And that is not a bad piece of music. Thanks for the link.