• Published 18th Oct 2014
  • 1,222 Views, 28 Comments

The Pinion - PegasusMesa

Side effects of reading may include smugness, self-importance, a sense of superiority, and diarrhea. Should side effects persist, stop reading The Pinion and see your doctor immediately.

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Epiphany: An Editorial, by Diamond Tiara

(Editor’s Note: What with all the wild happenings in Equestria, we’ve had quite a few Letters to the Editor come in lately. This one from a little filly in Ponyville caught my eye. ~M.B.)

Our nation dodged a terrible disaster this last week, one with which I am sure you are all familiar. After all, who could forget that feeling of powerlessness as our magic was drained, one and all?

I know I sure won’t.

I remember lying there, staring at the ceiling, feeling so weak and helpless, stripped of my magic, my birthright, waiting for an enemy whose name I didn’t even know at the time to come and finish me off. To wipe out my family. My friends. Everyone I’d ever known.

My father—Celestia’s blessing upon him—for all his money and power couldn’t stop it. As the plaster and lathe rained down on us from the ceiling, as our world shook to the very foundation, he and our butler bumped hooves and went to lie down and die with dignity.

Of course, we didn’t die. Our princesses saved us. Three willingly gave up their power, their very immortality for a chance at saving us. One gave up her life’s research and her home so that we might live.

Only the willfully blind could not come away changed, having had the selfless, honorable nature of Equinity thrown into such sharp relief before them. Once upon a time, I was that blind, self-centered little filly. However, the scales have fallen from my eyes. I, for one, will strive to be a better pony, to better live up to the ideals of the elements of Harmony—to be more loyal, to be more generous, to be more kind—to be a better friend.

As I reflect on the past, I know that I’ve been, well, less than kind to some ponies. Three, specifically: the Cutie Mark Crusaders, bless them. Now in my defense, they haven’t always been the coolest fillies in school, but they certainly didn’t deserve the amount of harassment that Silver Spoon (Hi, Spoons!) and I gave them...even if their incompetence did get me fired as the editor of the Foal Free Press.

But I digress. They’re alright! I don’t mind them. Really! I mean, I completely understand what it’s like for Scootaloo now, having been myself de-magicked for a while. It’s not her fault she can’t fly, and to be honest, I can totally understand why she always has to jump in with those lame me-too lines when one of her little crew spouts off at me.

And don’t even get me started on Apple Bloom—I mean, I get so much manure for being upper-middle class but holy buck have you seen how much that Apple family rakes in? I just don’t get how they can have that much money and still have no class whatsoever. “Ohh we build a new barn every three months but Ah just wear a pink bow because we’re just plain ol’ simple ponyfolk, hyuk hyuk.” Like anyone buys that corny schtick. Gimme a break.

Sweetie Belle. Celestia, what can I even say about that marshmallow train wreck. Her sister runs a boutique and makes her living on the fact that she’s BFFs with a princess, and suddenly Sweetie’s gotta be Little Miss Creative. And of course after she’s hacked three yards of spun gold fabric into some abomination that wouldn’t fit a thalidomide changeling, in swoops Big Sister to fix her mess. Of course nobody realizes that, and Sweetie still gets all the credit like she’s not a completely talentless little mule.

And WHO CARES if they cost me a shot to be friends with a cool new filly from Manehattan with their stupid zany schemes and snitchy do-gooder whining? And who gives a damn if they embarrassed me right the fuck in front of royalty? No biggie, right? Just the princess who saved the entire known world from destruction thinks I’m some kind stuck up brat. I mean, FUCK ME SIDEWAYS with a HORSESHOE, am I right?

I digress.

Look, I’m not going to lie. It’s going to be really hard to be a better pony with these bumbling, inept little blank-flanks running around here, but I will. I can do it. I will be nice to them. I…

Oh, look. There’s Scootaloo. I’m gonna go push her in the fucking mud.

Comments ( 8 )



Shit, I just got an idea. Need a co author? :rainbowkiss:

You've got it all wrong: clearly it was Chrysalis who enslaved the Breezies. Duh. :trollestia:

Great concept, though. I crack up just looking at the headlines.

*Born in California, moved to Massachusetts*

... Fuck.

Bwahahaha! God is this cool.

Can't stop laughing :pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh::twilightsmile:

Princess Twilight Sparkle Declares Herself "Queen Of The Motherfucking Morons"

Yes. I already know this is gonna be a favourite.

Soooo, did Diamond Tiara lose interest in this? Im going to assume so.

"The darkness of the afterlife is all that awaits you now. May you find more peace in that world than you found in this one..." - Fallout 1


Nah, it isn't. I didn't even know that was a thing Tara said.

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