• Member Since 17th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 1st, 2014

Mythical_Elemental


E

A man by the name of Mythic enters Equestria, by 4 spirits that can create life. But little does he know that he has a greater purpose to do. Or will he die in the process of saving equestria by evil?

*Remember this is my first story and is of my OC Mythic*

Cancelled-Lost all flow with the story and had new ideas forming. Not sure when I would submit new stories.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 40 )

This, in a way, reminds me of Percy Jackson. Mabye that's because of the Mythic stuff though.

Yup, defenitely rushed, but you sir, have someone who likes it. Like I said, I'm tracking it. You remind me of when I made my first fic, heh heh, total failure. It's on the brink of being cancelled now. This is actually good enough for me. I decided to take mercy and ignore the grammical mistakes. I'm no editor, so I won't do much good. The pace, fast is fine with me, it gives lots of plot. But I still prefer slow paced, something I'm not very good at either. You don't have a hater, you have a tracker.

VERY GOOD.

What else can I say? You stole my attention

Oh look grammar mistakes in the teaser. This does not bode well.

Will read tonight after drinking heavily.

Just needs a bit of polishing, remove some grammatical errors, fix up the structure and your sweet.

:pinkiehappy:

Score:

Pace: 4/10
Sentence Structure: 6/10
The Idea: 10/10

This, being your first fic, I'll go easy and give you 5 extra points.

25/30=

5/6

Good score there. (Even if one point was from mercy.)

:twilightsheepish: Nice start... nice start. Keep sharpening yourself and you'll be making the big counts in no time.

Wow the grammar is AWFUL. Even drunk I couldn't read this without feeling the pain of the English language.

I'm saving a copy of this so I can show it to people later on why grammar is so important.

There is so much wrong with this, I don't even know where to start. This is where I would link you to the editor's omnibus and the EqD writing guide and about a billion guides on how to write good stories and not abuse the English language while you're at it...but posting this story in it's current state shows you don't care about the very thing you write, that it doesn't mean anything to you. So instead I'm just going to hope that somehow, someway you one day decide to improve yourself and go looking for resources that can help you :facehoof:

Well I'm going to fix the mistakes today. But thank you for the comments

Good, short but decent.

I envy your writing speed.

Or is that because of the unpolished style?

Never mind, now it reminds me even more of Percy Jackson.

I have been watching tv and writing the story on the couch. But the way I write is when I think of ideas at school and type them down.

Well, I like to rush my stories as well when I write, but you must pay attention to your grammer, I write fast, but not THAT fast. Detail is an important key in writing my friend. I'll see how you fair.

Words would kick back up later.

Shit son, shit's gonna go down at the next family reunion!

480628 Yup, he sure does write fast. My stories unedited don't have that much errors. They have about 5-8x less. But the songs were a great idea. This chapter was pretty good. Why did I only read You're Gonna Go Far Kid? Maybe because it's one of my favourite songs.

Good. Short. Decent.

Now there is a small reunion. Thought it over alot today.

501466

NICE. So lemme get this straight...

Mythic is the eldest, followed by Discord/Dante and Chrysalis/Crystal. Now time to mess with the fic.

You stated that Chrysalis' element was love, and yet at the wedding she was expelled by her element. According to the reference guide to the elements of harmony, an element is the physical embodiment of that element. Therefore Chrysalis is the physical embodiment of love, and that love expelled her.

Therefore she hurt herself...

NICE GOING CHRYSALIS...

Wow just wow at that explanation. But I forgot a note but I will have people choose who his 2 missing family members be. It is his cousins. But it will still be a messed up family no matter what.

He has a older sister but he doesn't remember her since she disappeared at the age of 2 and my OC was 1. And many learn from mistakes. And that is what little of the story's out of the scene takes place. But he still has 2 cousins but it can be OCs or any character that aren't the mane six or the princesses.

My brain is turning over. Discord as a brother? Chrysalis is Mythic's sister?!?!?!

502217 And a dragon is his father. Windigo for his mother. And Princess Cadence as a baby sister, And Shining Armor as his brother in law.

nananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananana

wow nice filler chap! but the way that you just cut out Dante from the story was done *with a heart of stone*"

local-static3.forum-files.fobby.net/forum_attachments/0026/5203/AW_YEEEEAH.JPG

He's not out yet. He is coming to ponyville.

ANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANA!

also, i don't see Discord being outclassed. Ever.
inb4 author

550758 forgot an n in the front

LONGER CHAPTERS! Otherwise bit of a filla.

I is confused. Since when was the air a satellite for GPS?

inb4 author

619139 The air is everywhere. We breathe, look through, and try escaping it.

619160
Escaped once, almost died. Also bigger chapters.

619164 Luckily I got luck for once. I had too much time lately and spent a lot of time on it. I will try to keep it over 1000 words. So thank you.

I did this as a filler. And I will add more in the gala part next.

Whoa, I just had a brain split. I will admit this is a new twist. I can't remember anything coming close to a unique plot like this. Keep up the good work! :raritywink:

good luck man if you need any pointers or suggestions just ask.

1551429 Thanks, I am just working on grammar before hopping back in.

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