Kildeez and Sifty's Shameless Self-Insert Adventures in Equestria!

by kildeez

Entry XXIII: The Camps, by Siftstone

TWO WEEKS LATER

I whirled around as fast as I could, but the alpha was already crashing skull-first into my chest, sending my sword flying. I tried to brake my fall, but failed to gain ground on the mud, and only fell to my face again. The beast came downwards with a dual-bladed downward blow, which I could only avoid by log-rolling to my side. Another strike was coming quickly- I had no time to draw my steel and defend myself, nor cast a sign. Instead, I reached down to my leg and unsheathed my gladius in a reverse grip, managing to block the monster's titanic bone sword.

However, I was still dazed from the initial impact, and all I could do was block blow after blow, my dizzy mind fogging more and more as the blows became harder, faster, stronger. I couldn't retaliate in any way from the ground, and my blade was beginning to show damage. Finally, my trusty gladius blocked its last blow- the boneblade of my opponent smashing my arm hard and away, the force sending my arm crashing to the earth and my gladius into the air. I braced myself for the second blade to crash down and end my life-

But it never came. Instead, I was socked in the head with a bony hoof.

-

When I came to, I was in a cheaply-constructed wooden cell. My swords and armor were stripped, leaving me with nothing by my pants and some of the gear within. Even in my daze, I could tell what was going on- for one reason or another, the Alpha chose to imprison me rather than kill me. I took a minute to collect myself; deep breaths, silent comforts, until I could fully implement my range of senses.

It was dark, now, but still storming. Focusing my glowing eyes, I could see between the bars of my suspended cage, gazing upon the hundreds of other cages similar to my own, each containing a colorful, pastel shape. My own cage was not much different- in fact, it was seemingly designed specifically for a smaller creature, as I took up most of the space by myself. The cage was cubical, five feet in length, width and height. The top and bottom were constructed of hardwood planks while the bars were made of bamboo, and surrounded all sides. My cage, similar to the others, was suspended by coiled rope above the ground, fastened to an apple tree.

My ear twitched. There was... speech.

"...AND WHAT TO DO WITH THE CHAMPION'S EQUIPMENT? WE CAN BARELY STAND THE SIGHT OF MOST OF IT." The voice of a Nightmare Unicorn, it seemed. A growling was its reply. "...AS THE SWARM COMMANDS."

Steps. Splashing in the puddles. Thunder clashed, and I witnessed a Nightmare reluctantly placing my armor and equipment on a crude wooden table- several hundred meters away. As it left the area, darkness settled in again. Nothing but the sound of the wind rustling the leaves, rain splattering onto the foliage.

Suddenly broken by an ear-piercing howl. Looking out again, I realized a half-dozen Nightmares had begun prowling this prison ground. Lights out, it seemed.

The bars were easily shattered. I could quickly break out, rush over to my equipment and start slaughtering, but there were way too many nightmares in the way for me to handle with my bare hands and my signs in open combat- not to mention the ponies in the cages around me. Nightmares were twisted bastards- if I started trouble, they could start executing civilians in order to punish me for it.

Thunder clashed again, and a flash of silver below my cage caught my eye. Focusing my eyes in the dark, I realized that the silver below me was actually a large kukri knife- Still being clutched in the near-mummified hand of what appeared to be a Ghurka. The training of the Viper School of witchers immediately came to mind- stealth fighters as long as they weren't sighted, but absolute devils, trickers, and dirty bastards when they were. Unlike the other witcher schools, swords were secondary for Vipers- daggers and short blades were the primary choice, due to their stealthy assault nature.

So be it.

Waiting until the Nightmares were looking in any other direction but my own, I gripped two bars of my cage and swiftly snapped them apart. The noise was subtle- nothing more than the breaking of a twig. Nothing noticeable. My suntanned skin was harder to see in the dark than a pastel pony's coat, so even if the Nightmares did happen to look in my direction, they wouldn't notice immediately. Moving like a ghost, I dropped to the muddy earth, snatching up the kukri and covering in a convenient bush. I took a moment to examine the blade in the dark; decent size and weight to the leaf-shaped blade, and it was clearly well-cared for by its previous owner. The handle was of a greyish wood, held together by polished brass and a steel nail in the flattened bottom. A very quality weapon.

The foliage scratched lightly at my bare chest as I tightened my grip on my blade and sighted the nearest Nightmare.

As it passed by, I shook the bush lightly, which triggered the Nightmare's attention. It raised its blades, stepping forward to get a closer look.

I was bursting from the bush and sinking my blade clean through its skull with the beat of a heart. The beast went limp immediately, and I dragged it into the bush to deal a second and third stab to vital areas, just to be safe. Making sure my path was clear and the body well hidden, I quickly moved out of the bush and behind a tree several feet ahead. My eyes scanned around for possible threats, and my ear picked up a step close by. It was lighter than a normal Nightmare. Perhaps that unicorn that was speaking earlier?

Glancing upward to make sure there was no pony on this tree to give me away, I pounded my fist on the bark, aggressively shaking the tree. The steps stopped- and began coming closer. And closer. And closer...

Until I was cupping a hand over the Unicorn's mouth, stifling any noise, and putting my blade to its throat as I dragged it behind the tree and out of sight.

"You're going to tell me exactly what's going on here, and what you were planning on doing with me."

"I... I CANNOT. THE HIVE WILL KILL ME."

"If you don't talk, I'll kill you."

I felt the lump moving down the unicorn's throat. "THIS... THIS WAS A HOLDING CAMP. OUR ALPHA FOUND THAT PONIES WERE MUCH EASIER TO ASSIMILATE IF THEY WERE MALNOURISHED AND MISTREATED, THEIR SPIRITS BROKEN."

"Were you planning the same fate for me?"

"HUMANS HAVE BEEN IMPOSSIBLE TO BREAK, WHAT FEW WE HAVE CAUGHT. DIE TOO SOON. YOU ARE STRONG. WORTH THE TEST."

"Good answers."

With that, I slammed the bottom of my hilt across the back of the unicorn's head, taking its consciousness. I left it behind the tree as I quickly climbed up the closest, freest branches, to get a new viewpoint. As I moved silently across a branch, I took note of my position to my equipment, and the Nightmares remaining. One passed down below me- whereupon I dropped from my branch, landing neatly with my knee in the nightmare's back and my kukri sinking through the top of its skull.

I dragged this body behind the tree and dove into another adjacent bush. Nightmares were used to being the hunters, not the hunted. Humans have natural instincts, when both being the predator and the prey. Nightmares lacked the feeling of being prey animals- why would they need it? No creature wants to eat them, no animal is foolish enough to try and attack them. They didn't have the natural feeling of being watched, the paranoia of what could be lurking in the shadows at the edge of the firelight.

There were fewer of them, now. My gear was getting closer, but there were still a half-dozen or so nightmares lurking between here and there, and not enough foliage or cover to allow me to stealth towards it.

I would need a distraction.

Moving to a bush I passed previously, near an imprisoned pony, I focused my magical energy and cast my Axii hex over the poor soul. I whispered across the void between us as I noticed a small light flash in his swollen and sad eyes.

"Scream."

In that instant, the stallion began shrieking at the top of his lungs, rattling his cage, trying everything he could to make as much noise as possible. Waiting in the bush, feeling somewhat guilty for using the poor bastard in such a way, I held fast as the entire force of jailer nightmares swooped in to investigate the noise. Seeing my opportunity, I rolled silently out of the bush and made my way across the open ground in a half-crouching run, doing my level best to avoid making any noise.

It seemed that I failed, as mere inches from my equipment, something smashed into me from behind and slammed me into the table. The table collapsed and I fell with my bare chest on a good haul of other equipment that was beneath the table, presumably collected from other humans these bastards had caught. I lost the grip on my kukri trying to steady myself, so as I whirled around and tried to retaliate against that which had stunned me, the first thing I was able to clasp my hand around was a very familiar grip- my gladius.

There was nothing behind me.

Standing up, blade at the ready, I looked about in hyperalertness.

Movement.

I whirled around again, swinging my blade around, only to slightly slash at the chest of a cyan-colored pony. She reacted with proper timing, and looped around in the air to land several feet away, clutching the tiny little booboo that I had inflicted. Fury in her violet eyes, she looked ready to shriek some curse or insult at me, before comprehension overcame her rainbow-maned little head.

"Sifty?!" Sighed miss Rainbow Dash, gritting through the searing sting of my inflicted wound. She began to make a movement to approach me, but something stopped her. "Look out!"

Her voice cleared the fog that was building from the surprise, and I dashed forward in a combat roll, narrowly dodging a jailer nightmare's downward swiping blade. Dashing forward, I caught him in the nose with a thrust of my blade while he recovered from his attack, and put the boot to his chin as a follow-up. Shaking his head to recover, another blade was launched- which I quickly parried to the side, opening his neck to a swift decapitation.

There were sounds of fighting, hooves smashing into flesh, and I turned to see Rainbow Dash unleashing an inner demon on a Nightmare's face, smashing it so hard and fast it couldn't draw its blade up to fight back. As a punch launched it towards me, I slid down and cleaved my blade low and hard, slashing through the Nightmare's legs and killing it. I turned as I got up to cover our flanks, and felt my back press up against a pair of wings.

"Ain't the first time we've been here before, eh, girly?" I chuckled, holding my gladius to the side.

"Ya got that right, big guy!" Shouted Rainbow, taking some ponified karate stance. The rest of the jailers came at us, and we executed them with impunity. Those I didn't kill immediately, I was able to catch off-guard after Rainbow gave them a right trouncing and opened them up for an execution. Only problem... there were only three. Two dead already, with three freshly killed... where's the last one?

Scrawny little prick ran off to get his boss. These fears were confirmed by an ungodly roar knocking me and Rainbow off our feet. As I stumbled to a rising position, I was swept off the ground and slammed into a tree by our massive Alpha Nightmare friend.

"I HAD HOPED YOU WOULD START TROUBLE. NOT TO BE OUTDONE, YOU EVEN LURED THE LIBERATOR INTO A TRAP FOR US. WORTHLESS HUMAN."

Grunting hard as I got to my feet, I raised my damaged gladius. "Shut your trap... and fight!"

The alpha ordered one grunt to come forward. Clutched with blades to her neck and one already thrust through her side, Rainbow was at the mercy of the Nightmares. This only served to piss me off, and the grip of my gladius creaked in response to my tightening grip. Another grunt from the alpha sent a heavy load of soldiers upon me- and I was not having it. My blade clattered and clashed, cleaving through bones and sinew, but with each fallen Nightmare, it seemed another was in its place.

As I closed in on the Nightmare holding Rainbow, hatred and fury clouding all sense of strategic might, the Alpha launched an attack. Out of instinct I went to block it with my sword- only for the previously-damaged blade to shatter as the bone blade crashed into it. The force knocked me down, and a Nightmare immediately pinned me to the earth with a blade through my shoulder. I didn't feel the pain- I was too fucking angry, still clutching the broken remnants of my sword.

"YOUR FURY IS YOUR UNDOING. I LONG TO WATCH YOU SUFFER. KILL HER. SLOWLY."

With that, the Nightmare holding Rainbow began to slowly, painfully grind its blades across her skin, drawing blood across her cyan fur.

Something primal broke inside me. My left hand curled into a fist, and I unthinkingly slammed it into the earth, ushering a massive blast of air and ice, blowing away my captor. Taking deep breaths through gritted teeth, a death grip on my broken blade, I hurled myself onto my feet and moved with insane speed, smashing my elbow next to Rainbow's head and into the face of her torturer. Nary a second passed before I was slashing what was left of my blade through his gut, using his standing position to my advantage.

His grip lost on Rainbow, the wounded pony stumbled away from my fury as I slammed my blade through the torturer's forelimb, cruelly snapping the limb with a rough joint mannipulation. Pulling the blade free, I slammed it into his shoulder, forced it through his flesh, and pulled it out at an angle sufficient enough to rip through his jugular, killing him slowly as I tossed him aside.

Air in my heightened senses caused me to roll towards its source, taking me between the legs of the Alpha, who had just buried his massive blade into the dirt. A series of stabs went upwards and into the Alpha's unarmored stomach, gauging massive holes with the broken steel. The other sword on its back, far too muscled for fine manipulation, flailed uselessly in an effort to stab underneath itself, and any movement from the legs would topple the creature.

As the beast finally got its blade free, I rolled behind it and slashed my blade through its exposed back leg, almost taking the leg off with the force of my attack. Stumbling and dazed at all the damage it had received in such a brief instant, the Alpha dropped to its knees for the smallest of moments.

I launched myself on top of it, an idle Aard sign into the middle of its spine forcing it into the earth so hard that the spine snapped in twain, effectively neutralizing the Nightmare's attempts at using its blades. The Alpha shrieked curses in that ungodly voice, but nothing moved past my ears. Seeing white in my everlasting hatred, I slammed my blade underneath the Nightmare's armored cap, and cruelly began to pry it off. Screaming and howling, I chose to end the creature's suffering, once and for all- curling my thumb and forefinger, a jet of hot flame poured out of my hands, engulfing the metallic head of the beast and cooking its brain in full display of vengeful execution.

Stumbling off the most definitely fucking dead now Alpha Nightmare, I approached Rainbow Dash, who had taken the initiative to begin mending her wounds with some of the bandaging she found in my equipment, which I remembered still needed to be recovered. On approach, she smiled, despite herself.

"Even with the hair, the eyes, all the new scars, one thing is still the same about you, soldier-boy." She playfully dipped, "You're still a monster in a fight."

"You can only get better at it. You alright? No permanent injuries?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine, but you? You just got impaled. I'll be fine, we need to fix you."

"Don't worry about that," I jabbed, reaching into my pack and pulling free a small, white bottle. Uncorking it and swallowing the awful, awful elixir within, a sense of numbness flooded my body. The wound in my shoulder began to quickly and softly knit together. Rolling my injured shoulder, I picked my broken blade out of the dirt, hilt and broken tip. I turned to see Rainbow staring with a dumbstruck look.

"...That's new. Sorry about your blade, though, Sifty... I would have been fine, you know. He cuts like a girl!"

"Eh, it was bound to happen, eventually... I think I'll keep this old thing, though. Honestly, I feel like there's something to what's left of it. Like a demon was born inside it the moment it broke."

A thought struck me.

"Say, that big bastard called you 'The Liberator.' What did he mean?"

Rainbow Dash puffed out her bandaged chest. "Well, since you've been gone, I've been using the skies to my advantage to bust ponies out of camps like this. I've saved a lot of lives, but whenever I get seen, the camps always seem to move by the time the coast is clear."

I laughed, proudly. "Hot damn. Well, that's not going to be happening anymore. If the Vipers taught me anything, its that rain and fog make you a ghost with a pointy object. Let me gear up real quick, and we'll free these ponies. How many camps are there?"

"A few. You ready for another shot of the old times, Champ?"

I smiled, warmly. "You know it."