• Member Since 9th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Macharius


"There are lies, damned lies, and Macharius' update schedule."

T

In the aftermath of the final show of the season for the Wonderbolts, Soarin lets slip his crush on Rainbow Dash. Spurred on by - and with a little help from - his friends he decides to finally take matters into his hooves once and for all.

Will he succeed, or is Rainbow just too cool for romance? Either way, Soarin's determined to win the heart of the mare of his dreams, and maybe snag a few apple pies along the way...

(Takes place after the Equestria Games but before the Season 4 finale, rated teen for alcohol.)
(And yes, I used a not-terribly-relevant screen from the show, because I'm cheap like that.)

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 28 )

Double the love double the pain and a whole lotta good story with it.

I'm liking this i really am and the plot's simple and easy to understand. Though maybe a longer game of truth or dare could've spiced up how they got soarins answer out but nevertheless I still enjoyed the beginning.

Also I am a fan of soarin and rainbow so +1 bizillion there and also this extra love story I like as well.

Plus this as your first story congratulations man con-gra-tu-lation!

5/5 spike moustaches and one rainbow

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: :rainbowdetermined2:

I'm a big fan of this ship. Get the next chapter out now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great job.

Thank you for the comments, I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far!

5195082
Yes, I did kind of think that the game of truth or dare could have done with being drawn out a bit. I was tired when I wrote it and I just sort of went with it. I might go back and beef up that sequence when I do the second chapter actually, looking at it annoys me now. It makes the pacing odd, too.

Great! Can't wait to read the next chapter!:pinkiehappy:

Already wrote a comment but congrats on getting into the popular story section!

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

5197178
Thank you, but it's probably just a slow day on Fimfic or something. I'm sure pretty much everything in that box is higher quality than this, anyway! :derpytongue2:

5197246

155 = pretty good for first story!!

believe me I am sure alot of other bronies are looking forward as well!

5198033
I honestly cannot tell if you're being genuine or sarcastic.

So... thank you? :rainbowderp:

5198077
no i loved it!
THERE MUST BE MORE TO THIS
if not i might go berserk

Insta-track!! This already looks like an awesome fic and can't wait for the next chappy~! :pinkiehappy:

This looks promising lets see where this ends up

... Update? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease? UpdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateupdateUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATE please?

Do you think the author heard?

Spitfire whisteld appreciatively. "Sounds like you've fallen pretty hard for her, Soarin!"

Soain ran his soapy hooves together under the tap, washing the last remains of the lather away to leave them clean and fresh.

Great chapter!:rainbowkiss:

Good chapter. So far so good.

5642878
Aaand fixed. Thanks for pointing them out!


5643182
I'm glad you liked it! Personally I think that there's something off about it, maybe the pacing or something? I'm not really sure. I may well attempt a re-write after Half-Life 3 comes out at some point.

Took me a bit to get into, and it was a fun read. Your dialogue is great, but you might want to work on the set up around your dialogue to give it an extra punch. Basic example is if someone is sad, they lay on a raincloud. It shouldn't always be so obvious, but atmosphere should enhance dialogue.

YUSSSSSS!!!!! Update!!!!! Cool chapter :raritystarry:

When's the update?

5900047
Soon™. College work has been ramping up due to exams so I don't have as much time to write, and I'm having a bit of a writer's block on the chapter which doesn't help anything. I'm hoping to get the update out by Sunday, but I can't be sure.

The poor stallion's face was so flushed with embarassment he could be pull Celestia's chariot on a foggy Hearthswarming Eve.

Soarin, the red faced Pegasus. Had a very shiny face! :rainbowlaugh:
And I'm excited to see what's next

This is super cute! I would like more plz

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