• Published 25th Jan 2015
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A New Beginning in a New Land - REDACTED99999



'Through worlds and sadness and loneliness, we found each other, and if we can be happy together, then maybe it will all have been worth it somehow.' - A man in love.

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Chapter 58

Jax sighed deeply. He was sitting under the shower, wondering what his life had become. Coming to Equestria had been a weird turn of events all those months ago, but to think that it would result in so much… stuff, happening all around him, he never would have guessed. Celestia had left him with the news that she would send guards to ‘watch over’ him, day and night. He didn’t like it at all, but after what had happened… he didn’t complain.

Luna looked down at him with a kind smile. “It has been a long night, has it not?” She asked with sympathy, and he took a moment to appreciate her sweet sweet voice. She was there because he had used her as a shield to get into the bathroom without exposing himself to the staggering amount of females more than he already had. After his rage and fright had subsided, he had felt pretty damn embarrassed to be naked. It might be true that they didn’t care, but… old habits die hard and all that. Of course Beating Heart had joked about his sudden embarrassment all the way to the bathroom, but that was okay. It lightened the mood.

He also realized that he needed some male friends.

“Yeah….” He couldn’t think of what else to say, so he just let the silence reign while he drowned in her cyan eyes. They looked at him with so much kindness and understanding… care and… and love, that it moved something deep inside of him. Something that warmed him to the very soul, and he just wanted to sit there for all eternity, with this feeling washing over him forever. Nobody had ever looked at him like that before… nobody but Luna.

Something inside of him that wasn’t really a part of him cringed in pain. Sombra growled in discomfort, but didn’t ‘say’ anything.

He remembered those same eyes in the meadow a couple of hours ago. He had been lost and so alone, until Luna had found him. Even without remembering anything, even with Sombra whispering in his mind, even then he could see the beauty in the mare in front of him. He had been so close to giving up, to giving in, before she appeared before him in all her lovable glory.

She had saved him….

A hoof laid itself on his head, taking him out of the dark direction his thoughts were turning. It started stroking him. “Deep in thought, are we?” Luna smiled down at him. There was a knowing edge to her smile that suggested that she knew that his mind had wandered to the forest.

“I… I love you.” He said emotionally. He had said the words to her before, back when they had shared their first kiss. But now… now they felt more real…. Not that he hadn’t meant it when he had said it then, but… it felt like he didn’t truly know what love was back then. Being together was warmth, kindness and a smile that didn't have to be forced. It was trusting someone completely, knowing they would come to your rescue no matter what.

Her smile broadened, then it fell. Before he could ask, she swept in for a kiss, with all the weight of her feelings behind it. He returned the kiss with all his own feelings. Unlike their first kiss, this one was simple. Just her soft sweet lips upon his, the relief of being free and together fueling the passion of their lips’ embrace.

Luna finally broke it off, to hug him tightly. “I was so afraid I was going to lose you.” She whispered, her voice heavy with a mix of emotions.

He dug his fingers deep into her wet fur and held her. Her wings enveloped him, like they always did and he closed his eyes in content. “I was afraid I was going to lose me too.” He chuckled half-heartedly. “But you didn’t let me.”

She shook her head. “You are mine. I will not let Sombra take you.”

They let the drops of water wash over them for a long time, enjoying the embrace.

***

Luna’s thoughts were in turmoil. So much had happened the last couple of hours it overwhelmed her. The stress of looking for Jax, the relief of finding him, the worry while they waited for him to wake up, the despair of watching him enraged, the hurt when he yelled at her, the urge to console him when he broke down, and finally their shower together. The others had left already, but she would stay there.

Her wings rustled restlessly. She was exhausted, but Jax insisted on waiting for his guards. He said that if they were going to guard him, he might as well make a good first impression, and somehow he managed to stay awake even though she knew he was beyond exhausted. Now that all the excitement had passed, he looked ready to collapse, even though he said that the tea he was drinking helped.

It was as good a time as any to bring up her worries. She had considered just not saying anything, but keeping things to herself was a habit she was trying to get rid of. Well… maybe just this once, she could keep it to herself. He had been under a lot of stress, they both had. This obviously was not the right time to talk of such things….

And though it will not be easy, I would love for you to be my special somepony.’ So she had said, a time that felt like ages ago but was not anywhere near. If that was how she felt, then why was she trying to take the easy way out? She knew better than anypony how wounds on the inside fester just as badly as wounds on the outside.

She swallowed nervously. “Jax.” He looked over. “We need to talk.”

His eyes widened for some reason. Silence fell on the room as he just kept looking at her. Her wings rustled again, and she scuffed at the floor. Even though she had initiated it, she was unsure of how to continue. She took a calming breath and closed her eyes. “Fuck you for leaving when I needed you,” she quoted him. The words felt foreign even as they left her mouth. They left behind a bad taste as they had been directed at her, by the one she loved so much.

Jax’ reaction was much different than what she had expected. She was not sure what she had expected, but it was not the panic in his eyes, nor was it him getting up so fast the chair fell down behind him.

“Please Luna. I-I wasn’t thinking straight. After all that happened I just… I didn’t mean it like… like that….” His begging tone certainly was not what she had expected either. He lowered his distraught eyes to the table, refusing to look at her.

She… was not entirely sure what had just happened. She just wanted to talk about what had been said, how he had felt, how it had made her feel… she did not know where his panic was coming from, but if there was one truth in the world, it was that she could not bear to see him so distraught. Especially when she was the reason.

She used her wing to knock the table aside that separated them, and crossed the distance between them before the table along with the cups on it crashed unto the floor. It only took a second for him to hug her back as tightly as she was hugging him. “I’m sorry Luna… please don’t leave me….” He sobbed into her fur.

“Shhh my beloved, shhh there is no need to cry.” His sobs continued as she stroked him gently. “Why would I leave you, love? I just want to talk.” She tried to speak as gently as she could, unsure of how he went from ‘we need to talk’ to ‘I am leaving.’ He had been under a lot of stress lately, and the last thing she had wanted to do was to add to it. His very reaction was a sign of how distressed he must be. She had come to learn that Jax was used to hardships, and did not easily show his tears. Yet now it seemed they came forth all too easily.

Of course, it could be that he normally bottled up his emotions and he was now expressing them freely… but she very much doubted that. That kind of change did not come easily, no matter how much she wished to teach him the error of letting sorrow linger on the inside.

She held him for a while, whispering gentle reassurance for him. He finally drew back and dried his tears. “Sorry.” He whispered, barely heard. “It… it’s been a long night. Where I’m from, ‘we need to talk,’ is a different way of saying ‘we need to break up’… I just got scared there for a moment.”

Luna frowned. That was not what she had meant at all. “If all it took to break us apart was for one of us to get upset, then we might as well give up now.” He lowered his head, but she put a hoof under his chin to raise it again, similarly to how he had done it in the past. She looked deep into his green eyes, willing him to understand. “If we want this to work, we both need to be patient and understanding…” she quickly scanned her feelings, making sure what she wanted to say. “I understand that you have had a long night with… a lot of fear and confusion, so when you realized what had almost happened, that fear took over. I realize that… even though it hurt… on some level, you meant the words-“

Jax rose from her embrace, and started pacing back and forth. He finally looked at her with such sadness that she just wanted to keep him in her embrace forever. “I needed you more than anything, but you just left. I can say I understand as much as I want - that you’re a princess and have duties, but when you teleported away and left me there it felt like a stab to the heart. Sombra pounced on the opportunity to taunt me the second you were gone, and it just felt so-“

“Then why did you not tell me?! Why did you not simply ask me to-“ she cut herself off as an epiphany hit her like lightning from a clear sky. This was how Celestia had been feeling a thousand years ago, when Luna had refused to talk with her until it was too late. Luna knew better than anypony else how hard it could be to simply speak with somepony about problems, yet now she sounded like Celestia. She shook her head.

“I… alright Jax. Let us talk now then.”

Jax blinked at her a couple of times, before he finally sighed. “I’m sorry Luna. I know it’s silly and I know you have your own things you need to take care of….”

“I do not think it is silly, my dear Jax, nor should you be sorry.” A small smile adorned her muzzle. “You are only human, after all. Neither you, nor I, are perfect.”

He went over and rested his forehead right beneath her horn, holding her close. “What did I do to deserve you?”

Luna smiled as a pleasant warmth overwhelmed her. “Thou hath-“ She started in her old way of speaking because she knew he liked it, but yelped when he suddenly went limp. She flailed a bit when she tried to catch him with magic, but thankfully remembered why that was a bad idea. She managed to use a wing to catch his head before it hit the ground.

She sighed in relief. She should have known he would not last the night. Too much had happened, and even though he had slept a little between falling asleep in the forest and getting his memories back, the body can only take so much.

Getting him up on her back without magic would be far too difficult to manage without help. She thought about using magic only on his clothing but decided against risking it in case some of her magic accidentally touched him. So instead she bit the hem of his shirt and carefully dragged him to the bedroom, where through much trial and error, she managed to lift him into his bed.

“Sleep well, my beloved.” She kissed him on the forehead. “We will speak more at a later time.”

She left to clean up the mess she had caused. The table had survived, but both cups could not be salvaged… maybe they could be mended with gold, if kintsugi was still an art form being practiced. She gathered the pieces and stored them for later. She would have to ask Moondancer about it.

After she finished mopping the floor, she went outside to lower the moon. It had been a long night indeed. She was looking forward to sleep, but she would wait for the guards in Jax’ stead.

Author's Note:

Finally done with exams! Wooo! XD So this chapter is on the short side because I chose to focus on my last exam. Was it worth it? hell yeah, I got the second best grade I could have gotten XD but holidays are here now, so I can focus on my writing, and other stuff, which is nice :D

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