Chapter 58
Jax sighed deeply. He was sitting under the shower, wondering what his life had become. Coming to Equestria had been a weird turn of events all those months ago, but to think that it would result in so much… stuff, happening all around him, he never would have guessed. Celestia had left him with the news that she would send guards to ‘watch over’ him, day and night. He didn’t like it at all, but after what had happened… he didn’t complain.
Luna looked down at him with a kind smile. “It has been a long night, has it not?” She asked with sympathy, and he took a moment to appreciate her sweet sweet voice. She was there because he had used her as a shield to get into the bathroom without exposing himself to the staggering amount of females more than he already had. After his rage and fright had subsided, he had felt pretty damn embarrassed to be naked. It might be true that they didn’t care, but… old habits die hard and all that. Of course Beating Heart had joked about his sudden embarrassment all the way to the bathroom, but that was okay. It lightened the mood.
He also realized that he needed some male friends.
“Yeah….” He couldn’t think of what else to say, so he just let the silence reign while he drowned in her cyan eyes. They looked at him with so much kindness and understanding… care and… and love, that it moved something deep inside of him. Something that warmed him to the very soul, and he just wanted to sit there for all eternity, with this feeling washing over him forever. Nobody had ever looked at him like that before… nobody but Luna.
Something inside of him that wasn’t really a part of him cringed in pain. Sombra growled in discomfort, but didn’t ‘say’ anything.
He remembered those same eyes in the meadow a couple of hours ago. He had been lost and so alone, until Luna had found him. Even without remembering anything, even with Sombra whispering in his mind, even then he could see the beauty in the mare in front of him. He had been so close to giving up, to giving in, before she appeared before him in all her lovable glory.
She had saved him….
A hoof laid itself on his head, taking him out of the dark direction his thoughts were turning. It started stroking him. “Deep in thought, are we?” Luna smiled down at him. There was a knowing edge to her smile that suggested that she knew that his mind had wandered to the forest.
“I… I love you.” He said emotionally. He had said the words to her before, back when they had shared their first kiss. But now… now they felt more real…. Not that he hadn’t meant it when he had said it then, but… it felt like he didn’t truly know what love was back then. Being together was warmth, kindness and a smile that didn't have to be forced. It was trusting someone completely, knowing they would come to your rescue no matter what.
Her smile broadened, then it fell. Before he could ask, she swept in for a kiss, with all the weight of her feelings behind it. He returned the kiss with all his own feelings. Unlike their first kiss, this one was simple. Just her soft sweet lips upon his, the relief of being free and together fueling the passion of their lips’ embrace.
Luna finally broke it off, to hug him tightly. “I was so afraid I was going to lose you.” She whispered, her voice heavy with a mix of emotions.
He dug his fingers deep into her wet fur and held her. Her wings enveloped him, like they always did and he closed his eyes in content. “I was afraid I was going to lose me too.” He chuckled half-heartedly. “But you didn’t let me.”
She shook her head. “You are mine. I will not let Sombra take you.”
They let the drops of water wash over them for a long time, enjoying the embrace.
***
Luna’s thoughts were in turmoil. So much had happened the last couple of hours it overwhelmed her. The stress of looking for Jax, the relief of finding him, the worry while they waited for him to wake up, the despair of watching him enraged, the hurt when he yelled at her, the urge to console him when he broke down, and finally their shower together. The others had left already, but she would stay there.
Her wings rustled restlessly. She was exhausted, but Jax insisted on waiting for his guards. He said that if they were going to guard him, he might as well make a good first impression, and somehow he managed to stay awake even though she knew he was beyond exhausted. Now that all the excitement had passed, he looked ready to collapse, even though he said that the tea he was drinking helped.
It was as good a time as any to bring up her worries. She had considered just not saying anything, but keeping things to herself was a habit she was trying to get rid of. Well… maybe just this once, she could keep it to herself. He had been under a lot of stress, they both had. This obviously was not the right time to talk of such things….
‘And though it will not be easy, I would love for you to be my special somepony.’ So she had said, a time that felt like ages ago but was not anywhere near. If that was how she felt, then why was she trying to take the easy way out? She knew better than anypony how wounds on the inside fester just as badly as wounds on the outside.
She swallowed nervously. “Jax.” He looked over. “We need to talk.”
His eyes widened for some reason. Silence fell on the room as he just kept looking at her. Her wings rustled again, and she scuffed at the floor. Even though she had initiated it, she was unsure of how to continue. She took a calming breath and closed her eyes. “Fuck you for leaving when I needed you,” she quoted him. The words felt foreign even as they left her mouth. They left behind a bad taste as they had been directed at her, by the one she loved so much.
Jax’ reaction was much different than what she had expected. She was not sure what she had expected, but it was not the panic in his eyes, nor was it him getting up so fast the chair fell down behind him.
“Please Luna. I-I wasn’t thinking straight. After all that happened I just… I didn’t mean it like… like that….” His begging tone certainly was not what she had expected either. He lowered his distraught eyes to the table, refusing to look at her.
She… was not entirely sure what had just happened. She just wanted to talk about what had been said, how he had felt, how it had made her feel… she did not know where his panic was coming from, but if there was one truth in the world, it was that she could not bear to see him so distraught. Especially when she was the reason.
She used her wing to knock the table aside that separated them, and crossed the distance between them before the table along with the cups on it crashed unto the floor. It only took a second for him to hug her back as tightly as she was hugging him. “I’m sorry Luna… please don’t leave me….” He sobbed into her fur.
“Shhh my beloved, shhh there is no need to cry.” His sobs continued as she stroked him gently. “Why would I leave you, love? I just want to talk.” She tried to speak as gently as she could, unsure of how he went from ‘we need to talk’ to ‘I am leaving.’ He had been under a lot of stress lately, and the last thing she had wanted to do was to add to it. His very reaction was a sign of how distressed he must be. She had come to learn that Jax was used to hardships, and did not easily show his tears. Yet now it seemed they came forth all too easily.
Of course, it could be that he normally bottled up his emotions and he was now expressing them freely… but she very much doubted that. That kind of change did not come easily, no matter how much she wished to teach him the error of letting sorrow linger on the inside.
She held him for a while, whispering gentle reassurance for him. He finally drew back and dried his tears. “Sorry.” He whispered, barely heard. “It… it’s been a long night. Where I’m from, ‘we need to talk,’ is a different way of saying ‘we need to break up’… I just got scared there for a moment.”
Luna frowned. That was not what she had meant at all. “If all it took to break us apart was for one of us to get upset, then we might as well give up now.” He lowered his head, but she put a hoof under his chin to raise it again, similarly to how he had done it in the past. She looked deep into his green eyes, willing him to understand. “If we want this to work, we both need to be patient and understanding…” she quickly scanned her feelings, making sure what she wanted to say. “I understand that you have had a long night with… a lot of fear and confusion, so when you realized what had almost happened, that fear took over. I realize that… even though it hurt… on some level, you meant the words-“
Jax rose from her embrace, and started pacing back and forth. He finally looked at her with such sadness that she just wanted to keep him in her embrace forever. “I needed you more than anything, but you just left. I can say I understand as much as I want - that you’re a princess and have duties, but when you teleported away and left me there it felt like a stab to the heart. Sombra pounced on the opportunity to taunt me the second you were gone, and it just felt so-“
“Then why did you not tell me?! Why did you not simply ask me to-“ she cut herself off as an epiphany hit her like lightning from a clear sky. This was how Celestia had been feeling a thousand years ago, when Luna had refused to talk with her until it was too late. Luna knew better than anypony else how hard it could be to simply speak with somepony about problems, yet now she sounded like Celestia. She shook her head.
“I… alright Jax. Let us talk now then.”
Jax blinked at her a couple of times, before he finally sighed. “I’m sorry Luna. I know it’s silly and I know you have your own things you need to take care of….”
“I do not think it is silly, my dear Jax, nor should you be sorry.” A small smile adorned her muzzle. “You are only human, after all. Neither you, nor I, are perfect.”
He went over and rested his forehead right beneath her horn, holding her close. “What did I do to deserve you?”
Luna smiled as a pleasant warmth overwhelmed her. “Thou hath-“ She started in her old way of speaking because she knew he liked it, but yelped when he suddenly went limp. She flailed a bit when she tried to catch him with magic, but thankfully remembered why that was a bad idea. She managed to use a wing to catch his head before it hit the ground.
She sighed in relief. She should have known he would not last the night. Too much had happened, and even though he had slept a little between falling asleep in the forest and getting his memories back, the body can only take so much.
Getting him up on her back without magic would be far too difficult to manage without help. She thought about using magic only on his clothing but decided against risking it in case some of her magic accidentally touched him. So instead she bit the hem of his shirt and carefully dragged him to the bedroom, where through much trial and error, she managed to lift him into his bed.
“Sleep well, my beloved.” She kissed him on the forehead. “We will speak more at a later time.”
She left to clean up the mess she had caused. The table had survived, but both cups could not be salvaged… maybe they could be mended with gold, if kintsugi was still an art form being practiced. She gathered the pieces and stored them for later. She would have to ask Moondancer about it.
After she finished mopping the floor, she went outside to lower the moon. It had been a long night indeed. She was looking forward to sleep, but she would wait for the guards in Jax’ stead.
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Second best grade? Awesome! Congratulations!
This chapter was nice. It was almost short enough to read on my shortened lunch break today. It didn't feel too short, and I think you managed to fit a whole scene in nicely, so we'll let it slide. ;)
"It" Beginning of a sentence.
I think that one should be a "him". Either that, or the other one, but I'll go with that.
Btw, I read Gladiator by Not_A_Hat per your recommended stories. Must say, that was a great read. So thank-you for that.
Edit: looks like the moved comment reply thing only works with stories, not blog posts and stories. Darn.
7342991 Hehe thank you XD On the alphabetical scale it would be a B, the others from my group got C's and one guy got a D. In other news I just found out today that I failed the only written exam I had, so have to go to reexam at some point which is... annoying. but ah well, can't get them all apparently XD
Thanks as always for the corrections XD not as many now that I have an editor is there? XD
See told ya it was a good chapter XD glad you like it XD
Ah, yes... I think it was the first ff with a human in it that I read to the end... because he actually finished it XD I remember some weird stuff in it, but I might just have to read it again at some point.
Hehe you tried it here? XD
7343231 That's pretty good. Bummer about the written one, though.
No problem. Though, to be honest, you never had any really bad ones before. Most of yours were either typos or minor grammatical things. Honestly, probably far less than I would have. :P
Lol, I always like them. XD
It was pretty good. He's fun to chat with in the comments too. Saw some of your comments there, though I didn't really read through them. I... might have left
a fewslightly more than a few corrections. Fun talking with him though.Yes, I tried linking your most recent reply on that blog post, but it linked some other comment. Which leads me to believe that the comments for stories are tracked seperately for blog posts and stories. Makes sense since the stories' tags start with a 7, and the blogs start with a 4.
7344273 hehe well it happens... I don't have nearly as many failed as some of my colleagues ^^
all my English knowledge is finally paying off I see XD Well I don't know about knowledge since it's mostly instinct... but still ^.^
I know, it's awesome XD makes me feel accomplished each chapter XD
Hehe yeah, he's actually the reason I learned about notifications not showing if you reply on a different chapter, he did that a lot and it confused me XD I actually think I was called dragon1600 back then, changed my user name when I started this story... And I love that you post corrections on every story you read, it's awesome XD
I guess they are ^^
7345221 You know, when it comes to English, sometimes instinct can be more useful anyway.
I think I figured it out on Journey, when JBL and trukry responded to me. But yes, it is quite annoying. Especially since the default is to reply on the most recent chapter. :/
Lol, I just hope other people like it. Catching the stuff is pretty easy for me. I think it's partly just the way my mind works, and partially skills I've developed for diagnosing things. Most people are pretty cool about it. He actually added me into his author note on the first chapter. I'm just always glad to see authors willing to go back and clean them up, like you.
7347058 hehe well it has been useful for me ^.^
yes, so most people just do that XD and you have to check regularly if you've been replied to XD
Well I love it, having mistakes in a story can often pull people out of the experience so I prefer to just not have any... although that is pretty hard XD so it's great to have people like you helping me fix the ones that were missed ^.^
pff, I added you to my authors note before it was cool :b
7348137 Or you catch up on the stroy and go "oh, that comment is directed at me. Oops." :P
Yeah, you're right. Minor ones aren't too bad, but I have read some where I've just stopped because they were so bad.
That's true, you were first. I think I've been mentioned by four authors including you. It's kinda cool. That does mean you're a hipster though. ;)
7349973 I don't normally read comments, in case I get spoiled ^^
yeah me too XD I've given up on several because of the spelling.
hah, I never wanted this... to be hipster, after all this time... it is a harsh burden to bear, but I will get through it somehow... somehow...!
7351339 Yeah, I can see that. My general opinion is it's not a spoiler if it doesn't include anything from chapters ahead of where the comment is. If it's further along, it should be spoiler tagged, but not everyone abides by that.
Lol!
7351939 I guess ^^ I guess a different reason is that if there's another chapter and I'm really into the story i just get on with it as fast as possible XD
sometimes I check the comments if I found something weird to see if it's only me XD
7352085 I do that too. I'll put my corrections down there, and I'll sometimes put a thought with them (cause I feel kinda bad leaving just corrections), but unless something jumps out at me, I tend to just keep reading.
7352701 yeah it's awkward like that, just leaving a corrections XD I wanna write the corrections and get on with it to the next chapter but at the same time I don't only want to write the corrections XD
Whoa, so far it turned out better than expected. And according to wiki it's Kintsugi. Kin is gold. Still an awesome artform. I kinda imagine Lunatics somehow successing, Jax going full Sombra, kicking her ass to submission and then ending himself. That would be too damn dramatic for the vibe I get from this story. I suspect a weird lawyer and probably one of the two Lunar guards to be shady. One had a "weird smile" and other suddenly was untalkative put of nowhere. And are we seeing a changeling doom/deathmetal band soon? That would be great, honestly. Imagine the kind of brutal yet absolutely unintelligible metal lyrics 'lings can produce if they can partially shapeshift?
7368758 Finally caught up XD My feed is nothing but your comments atm XD thanks for the corrections again, small as they may be ^.^
And yeah... this doesn't have the dark tag for a reason XD
Yes, I will get to the changeling band as soon as I can fit it in, don't worry haven't forgotten about it XD Just need to straighten out some stuff first XD
7374403 You are very welcome you are the reason I can't sleep at the moment.
-8 am..- Ok one more chapter -6 chapters later- ok just one more.
7374405 I should probably feel bad for you but it actually just makes me happy XD
7374420 Ah, the sweet feeling of appreciation. Tis the sweetest feeling a writer can receive. Well if you care about your readers.
7374422 Hehe Of course I do XD the only thing I'm getting out of writing this entire thing is appreciation you know ;) knowing that 437 people liked my story enough to like it, and many more have it in their shelves keeps me going ^.^
7374427 Exactly! So savor in my enjoyment, and anguish from sleep deprivation. And grow stronger for I do believe you are stealing my soul or life force... Hm maybe both.. Yeah both is good.
7374476 Hehe well it certainly helps me write, so maybe I am XD Next chapter will be out Sunday so you have some time to catch up ;)
7374482 psh I'll be caught up by then I'm already at 37. I put of leveling to 100 in wow for your story. Feel the love!
7374486 Heh then you still have my favorite chapter ahead of you XD Mmmm... Love... XD