Fear of Falling

by Eustatian Wings

3. Thunderstruck

Darkness, wind, and rain swept over the edge of the Everfree Forest. Lightening flashed actinic upon the boughs, their leaves shone stark green, and black shadows slashed over Fluttershy's home below. Then crashed the thunder. Within, Fluttershy snuggled a blanket closer around herself.

"That one sounded close, didn't it, Angel?" she said.

The white rabbit, his face half-shaded by the orange light of the room's oil-lamp, looked up from his dinner and nodded.

"You aren't too scared, are you?" she asked.

Angel rolled his eyes.

"That's good." Fluttershy took a deep breath of the steam rising from the mug of tea she cradeled in her forehooves. "It's amazing, isn't it? Rainbow's up there, in charge of all that. Oh. I hope the other ponies aren't giving her a hard time."

Angel set down his carrot and cocked an eyebrow.

Fluttershy sighed. "I did something today that I'm not proud of - a couple of things, really. Weatherponies are a little rough. I'm sure they already tease her for not having a special stallion, and I didn't exactly help."

Angel winked, and held one paw sideways, twisted so his dewclaw pointed up.

Fluttershy shook her head. "But she's not like that, even if I am. I don't know. Maybe I should fly up there and set the record straight, show them what really happened."

---

Dash smiled, let her hooves slide from Fluttershy's shoulders, and turned towards the edge of the sky. She spread her wings. "Let's go."

Fluttershy followed, feeling almost like she was in a trance. Her wings seemed to move on their own, propelling her from the comfortable cloud and into empty air. Dash flew sedately, unhurried, like she had confidence in Fluttershy, who felt a tiny swell of pride, warm as the first glint of dawn sunlight atop an entire mountain of unease.

"Do you still know where the target cloud is?" said Dash.

Fluttershy looked down a long way to spot it and murmurred agreement.

"Good," said Dash, barely loud enough to hear. "So were gonna do it on 'one.' "

One? Wait!

"One!" called Dash. Fluttershy didn't think. She just pulled her head up towards the dome of the sky above. Her body followed, a short arc trading speed for altitude, and twin stalled eddies plucked at her wings. She twisted with the last of her airspeed, flipping the entire world upside down, and then Fluttershy fell.

Fluttershy fell upside down; the far-off jagged teeth of haze-shrouded mountains hung like stalactites, and whisps of clouds streamed past them falling up into the blue void. Pink strands of her mane whipped in the growing wind. Her blood rushed in an unbroken and silent scream, but just like Dash had told her, just like she had practiced, Fluttershy held her wings half-folded and craned back, two triangles like the fletchings of an arrow or dart.

And just as the laws of aerodynamics and pegasus magic dictated, Fluttershy's head tipped towards the ground. Sky rolled away to dense clouds and the hard green earth, which was growing larger and larger at an easy but unrelenting pace. Fluttershy let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, told herself to focus, and scanned the air below for the reference cloud.

She found it - a little closer than she had expected - rolled to line up with it, and as she began to pitch up out of her dive, something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. It was Rainbow Dash, who somehow Fluttershy had outflown. She pumped her wings with desparate intensity, while Fluttershy only glided, and only then had she managed to catch up. A smile played across Fluttershy's face along with a touch of self-satisfied surprise. Of course Rainbow would turn it into a race.

Fluttershy didn't mind.

The air poured over Fluttershy in a bracing cold torrent, slicking her feathers down and pulling her ears straight back. She didn't pull up too aggressively; that might break her into a stall or sprain her wings. Fluttershy turned in midair smooth but hard, her stomach feeling like it had taken a vacation and was happily spending the day atop one of the hills below. It felt good. Granted there were plenty of good reasons to not fly so dangerously, and if she wanted to, Fluttershy could probably list them all.

But all those fears could go and jump in a lake, just for today. This was Rainbow's sky and Fluttershy was honored to be it's guest - even if what Rainbow said was true and she somehow was in love with it. Fluttershy could stand losing to a worthy opponent.

Fluttershy brought herself level, skimming just under the reference cloud, gliding far faster than she ever flew on her own. Ahead, Rainbow brought herself to an elegant halt and touched down on a little billow on the cloud's side.

Fluttershy didn't mind. After all, there were more ways to win than just one. Fluttershy didn't slow, she just angled herself directly towards Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow smiled, her face gradually falling and her eyes growing wider as she saw Fluttershy speed closer. She didn't react in time; Fluttershy flew straight into her, wrapping her in a hug, and driving both pegasi deep into the cloud.

The air was rough, ashy gray, and warm. The mist sank into Fluttershy's coat and she held her friend close, burying her face in Dash's mane. She smelled salt and wind, felt the heat of overworked muscles. Gradually their pegasus magic slowed them and gently tugged them towards the surface.

"Thank you," whispered Fluttershy, catching her breath. "Thank you. That was amazing."

Rainbow Dash stayed silent and stone still, even as they emerged into the sunlight. Fluttershy nuzzled her face against Dash's neck.

"Hey, Fluttershy?" she said. "Can I have some space?"

"Oh. Sorry." Fluttershy disentangled herself and looked away sheepishly. "I guess I got a little too excited."

"Don't worry about it." Dash spread and refolded her wings. "You really did a good job today. Color me impressed."

A short whistle interrupted them followed by a cheerful voice. "Hey, Boss."

Fluttershy looked up. A pegasus flew came to hover in front of them. Her coat was a gorgeous shade of lilac, her mane was yellow, and she was grinning from ear to ear. Fluttershy couldn't quite remember her name, but she looked familiar.

"Oh, hey, Cloud," said Dash. "It's about time, isn't it?"

"Oh, you two should see the look on Bluebird's face." Cloud tried to imitate a scowl, but couldn't hold it for long before another smile cracked through. "But look at you, Boss, a very fine catch indeed. Just say the word and I'll run you two a couple minutes of interference."

Fluttershy's ears burned.

"We're just friends, Cloud," said Dash, sounding a little peeved. "And we were just saying goodbye anyway. Sorry Fluttershy, but Bluebird's one of those 'if you're not an hour early you're late' kind of ponies and I sort of lost track of time."

"Oh," said Fluttershy. "The storm today. Yes. I'm sorry I kept you and everything."

"Confidentially, I figure Blue's gunning for your job, Boss," said Cloud - Cloud Kicker, Fluttershy now remembered. She turned to Fluttershy and winked. "Hey, pleasure to meet you. Sorry to steal Dash, I'm such a terrible pony sometimes."

"Later, Fluttershy," said Dash and took to the air. She and Cloud departed, leaving Fluttershy sitting, scowling, and wondering exactly how much damage she'd done to Dash's reputation with her stupid impulses.

But more importantly for the moment, Fluttershy remembered that there was a storm coming and she had animals to go check on before it hit.

---

The wind swelled, moaning in the tree branches and making the house shift and creak. Lightning flashed again, sparkling off Angel's shiny black eyes, and the thunder roared.

Fluttershy laughed nervously, "Actually, me showing up to defend her would be counterproductive, don't you think?" She sipped her tea and set it on the table. "I'm not quite right anyway. I just have these... crazy feelings around her. I guess. I don't imagine you'd understand."

Angel crossed his forepaws, tapped a hind paw, then made a sweeping gesture as if to say, really, just look at me.

"Oh. Right. You probably do have some idea what love feels like, you naughty little bunny. Or, um, lust at least. Well, anyway, I suppose things could have gone a lot worse. I'll try to do better the next time I see her. That's all."

Fluttershy set down her tea and scooped up a well-worn book, the title long since gone from its threadbare yellow cloth covers. She stretched herself out comfortably supine on the couch and nosed it open to her bookmark.

The rough and tumble adventures of Stoic Ironhooves were a guilty pleasure, but her pleasure nevertheless. And it wasn't like he always got the pretty mare in the end. Fluttershy felt like she could understand him a bit better tonight. Maybe she'd read a chapter or two, finish the dishes she hadn't felt like taking care of after dinner, and call it an early night.

The storm passed and the sky brightened just a bit. Somepony knocked on Fluttershy's door. She looked up, secured her book in the drawer under the table - just in case Rarity had come to visit and brought her adorable but oh-so-curious little sister - and went up to answer. "Just a minute."

She opened the door. Dash was standing on her porch with a smile just a little too big to be natural. Her mane lay across her forehead, sodden but illuminated in impossibly vivid colors. Fluttershy's yard behind her was likewise surreal, a trick of the evening summer light.

Both ponies were silent a moment. Rainwater pitter-pattered from the tree leaves and robins tittered to each other. The silly little birds were confused, not sure whether it was time for their morning arguments or for settling in to roost. They were attempting both at the same time, just to be sure. Distant thunder grumbled.

"So," said Dash.

"Would you like to come in?" said Fluttershy.

"I'm good," said Dash. "Actually, I just had a little something I wanted to show you. If you're not too busy, of course."

"Right," said Fluttershy. She turned her head and as she expected, Angel was standing by the door, watching both ponies. "We'll just be a few minutes, okay?"

He gave her a thumbs-up and a big smile.

Fluttershy shut the door behind her and stepped outside. Half the sky was dark behind the departing storm, the other an impossible shade of royal blue.

"Right this way," said Dash and she trotted down the steps.

The wet grass tickled at Fluttershy fetlocks as she followed and everything felt so fresh. Dash took to the air and Fluttershy looked up. A cloud floated low over her lawn, but not the whispy semi-substantial natural kind. This one had been made by pegasus hooves, packed and sculpeted. It was about three times larger than Dash, who easily guided it to the ground.

There was a rough but comfortable-looking cloud couch on top.

"For you, Fluttershy," said Dash. "Like I said, I want to show you something, but it's a bit of a surprise. So just hop on and keep your eyes closed until I say so, okay?"

Fluttershy walked up to the cloud. It wasn't exactly a cloud chariot, but Dash had even cut steps into the side. She climbed on, settled into the couch, and closed her eyes.

Dash must have started to lift the cloud because Fluttershy heard the soft rustling of her wings and felt the cloud begin to move.

"Listen, " said Fluttershy. "I just wanted to apologize. For what I did in front of Cloud Kicker this afternoon."

"Don't sweat it. "

"I was totally out of line. There isn't any excuse, I'll try to do better -"

Dash raised her voice just a little. "I said we're cool. Just drop it, okay? And no peeking. "

Fluttershy sat in silence. As best as she could tell, Dash was taking them almost straight up. She could feel, deep below her ears, the altitude change, smell the still damp air, possibly even hear the far-off rain, but that was most likely the wind.

Dash's stomach growled.

"Rainbow, " said Fluttershy. "Have you had dinner?"

Dash didn't answer.

"Because it just occurred to me that maybe you just got back from work and... " Fluttershy wanted to apologize for taking so much of Dash's time, but Dash didn't seem to be in the mood to hear it. "If there was somewhere you wanted to go, or maybe I could make something for you - not like dinner dinner. I just feel like I owe you."

The cloud stopped and Fluttershy heard Dash land next to her, felt the down-wash of her wings. "I was busy with something more important. It's not going to kill me if I skip a meal every so often, so please stop worrying. But you know what? That sounds nice. Later. After I..."

Dash paused and Fluttershy couldn't be sure but she thought she heard a gulp. "Well, we're here, and I wanted you to see this. Go ahead and open your eyes."

Fluttershy looked. Dash had brought them above the trees and hills so they could get a good look at the early evening sky. The western sky to their left burned with the red and gold sunset, houses and trees ran into long shadows across the ground, and beyond that the retreating storm hung dark and enormous across half the sky.

Here and there sunlight slanted through gaps in the cloud, casting slashes of light into the rain-shade below. Tiny specks of various colors, pegasi still at work, flickered between light and shadow, herding errant clouds and tickling flashes of lightning from the cells.

The thunder boomed, long-delayed and distant.

"Is it always like this?" asked Fluttershy, spellbound.

"If you get the timing right," said Dash.

"You didn't... Is this why the storm went through late?"

"Hey, it was nothing. The front boss owed me a little favor, that's all. Besides, I was hoping to put a rainbow over there, but, well, things don't always work out."

Most ponies, those who didn't take the time to really get to know Rainbow Dash wouldn't expect her to plan or execute something so inspired. Fluttershy knew better. And yet, something felt like it was breaking inside her. "You did this for me?"

"Well, yeah, you really weren't yourself today. I was hoping to cheer you up and..."

Something brushed across Fluttershy's back. Rainbow's wing gently folded across her shoulders, and strong flight muscles drew the pegasi against each other. Fluttershy sqeezed her eyes tight, but when she felt Dash kiss her cheek, it was too much. Fluttershy didn't sob. She didn't make much sound at all, just a soft wheeze as her chest shrank in on itself.

Dash let go, leaving her wing lying gingerly on Fluttershy's back. "No, no, no, no. You're not supposed to cry!"

Fluttershy threw her forehooves around Dash's chest and took a shuddering breath. "You- You're too g- good." A normal pony might take the time to paint a sunset for his marefriend. Dash painted the sky itself, for a just-friend. It was entirely too much.

Thunder rolled across the hills.

"Darn it, Fluttershy! What's wrong with you? Why'd you have to fall for a pony like me?"

"Sorry." Fluttershy opened her eyes, settled back into her own place. Dash's shoulders and wing-wrists drooped, then she pulled herself together and raised her eyes to meet Fluttershy.

"Don't apologize to me. You. Didn't. Hurt. Me. Apologize to yourself."

"Sor- Um, right."

"Just, ugh. I was right. I said I was only going to hurt you. I'm just too selfish. Do you know what the best part is being selfish? When you screw up a trick maybe you crash or hurt yourself, but it's only you. I can't not hurt you, so you need to get over me."

Dash turned away, and Fluttershy followed her gaze. The sky above the storm had begun to darken to a more somber shade of blue. Cloud-to-cloud lightning flickered inside, like the storm was a line of paper lanterns.

" 'Nopony chooses what she feels,' " said Fluttershy without thinking. Her soft but steady voice surprised herself. " 'She only chooses what she does.' " She set a hoof on Dash's shoulder. "I need to be honest with you."

Dash turned. "Okay."

"You're beautiful. I love you. That's making it really hard for me to think straight. They say this sort of thing doesn't last forever, and I really, really hope that's true because I want your friendship more than anything else."

"I... see," said Dash.

Fluttershy let her hoof fall. They sat in silence for a bit. The sky grew darker and the thunder quieter.

"Can I ask for a favor?" said Dash. "Earlier today you said if there was somepony I had in mind, you'd help me out, right?"

Fluttershy's heart skipped a beat. "Yes. And I choose to." She didn't feel like setting Rainbow up with somepony else, but a nice thing about promises is that a pony can keep them even as they tear her apart inside.

"Even if I'm talking about a mare? I know what I said today and all."

"Yes, Rainbow."

"Okay, good. So here's what I'm thinking: I can walk up to her and say 'hey, you know, I love you,' but that's just words. I wanna do something awesome that will say it for me, but what if she doesn't understand? What do I do then?"

Fluttershy thought it over. "It's not like to be so nervous. Maybe she says yes, maybe she says no, but you won't know unless you try. Count to one and just do it."

"But, what if she doesn't say either? What if we're sitting next to each other and she doesn't get it."

"Well then." Fluttershy swallowed the lump in her throat. "Lean in close and whisper it. I might be biased, but I'm sure I'm not the only pony who finds you beautiful."

Once again, Dash embraced Fluttershy with her wing and brought her face closer and closer. Fluttershy started to object, but Dash silenced her with a "shh" and nuzzled firm and strong against her neck, finally whispering in her ear, "Fluttershy, are we still on that rooftoop waiting to jump?" She kissed her cheek. "'Cuz I really, really hope we are."

Fluttershy had to give her credit. She looked and acted perfectly sincere. She pushed Dash away. "Rainbow Dash, I have to draw a line somewhere. That was not okay. Not okay at all... but, yes, something like that would probably work."

Dash scowled. "Why do you have to be so soaking selfless all the time? I'm talking about you, Fluttershy! Can you believe that a pony might just want you to have something nice?"

"Oh," said Fluttershy. "Oh." She didn't know what to think or feel. "But you said-"

"I meant everything I said today. I don't know what I feel. But I was thinking today, after you left. You're a wonderful pony and I'm just a screw-up, but if you think I'm worth taking a chance on, we..."

Dash set her forehooves on Fluttershy's shoulders and her gaze bored into Fluttershy's eyes. Her voice was despirate. "Promise me that we're friends first. The worst happens, no matter what, and we'll forgive each other and stay friends."

"I promise," said Fluttershy. "But do you love me?"

Dash leaned closer. Fluttershy could feel her breath against her face as she whispered. "I think so. I care about you. I definitely want to love you." Before Fluttershy could react, Dash kissed her, just a filly's kiss, brief but on the lips. "Please say something."

"This is a bad idea, " breathed Fluttershy. Her body told her that, no, it was a very good idea. She could feel it deep in her gut, an almost-sick twisting feeling. So very much could go wrong, and so very much could go right.

Her entire world shrunk down to Rainbow's face and the weight of her hooves on her shoulders, the smell of rainwater and sweat, the feeling of Rainbows mane as Fluttershy reached both forehooves into it and pulled.

You would never guess it from the jagged-edge cut Rainbow liked, but the straight hairs of her mane were as soft as ground fog. They kissed and Fluttershy dropped her jaw and set her tongue against Rainbow's lips and softly licked.

Apples. The ghost of Rainbow's snack lingered in her mouth. Her tongue and cheeks were soft and fleshy, and she didn't take long to learn to kiss like a mare. Fluttershy giggled. Dash was probably tasting her cinnamon and carrots and oats.

Dash's stomach rumbled again, then thunder joined it, and neither mare could resist laughing. Joyous tears flooded Fluttershy's eyes.

"Okay, Rainbow, don't you dare tell me you aren't hungry."

"I took you up here to watch the sunset. It's not over yet." She threw a forehoof at the sky. "Besides, my mouth is busy."

Already the sky was darkening. Shadows and sunrays swept along the ground, unhurried, to where the pegusi sat blue and yellow and pink and all the colors of the sky. They kissed once more.

Comments

[cvvvrt]

Dash set her forehooves on Fluttershy's shoulders and her gauze bored into Fluttershy's eyes.

Oh, the mental image.

[Eustatian Wings]

2775600

Now, the sad part is that I've gauzed into that 'ticular eff-up like fifty gazillionity times revising the damned thing. Anypony care to proof-read? Drop me a PM.