- Member Since 13th Oct, 2011
- offline last seen Saturday
Nonagon
My Element is Honesty. My Sin is Envy.
Nonagon
Joined 13th Oct, 2011 ·
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It's finally here!
...Wow that fight was intense and somewhat dark.
This chapter is really, really weird. I like it.
Really liked how you illustrated the argument. Might have an extra false ending or two more than it needed, but much better than a couple of people arguing at each other while sitting on a bed. Particularly liked that Twilight was still there under her monstrous shell. Even more that she doubled down on her pain and drew more strength from it for her hate. I think her heart being full of poison might be the most interesting description here.
I've had a sneaking suspicion as to how this will all play out since the end of the last story, and this chapter seems to foreshadow that end fairly directly. Full steam ahead.
Look at them haters disliking this for no reason. They wouldn't know a masterpiece if it hit them in the face.
The people down voting wouldn't know good writing if it bit them in the ass. This should be top slot of the feature box
5987232
I think the real issue is they'd like to hit me in the face. Humans, Flash Sentry, sex, sex which was promised but hasn't happened, a sequel, fourth wall break in the description, an out-of-character OC Twilight, everything about Shimmer... All I need is a disgusting fetish and some little kids and this would be the holy grail of burn-it-with-fire fics. The actual content becomes irrelevant, and I'd be lying if I said I've never downvoted a story on principle before. So, really, having a less-than-perfect rating doesn't bother me. It's just a reassurance that I'm not doing this to impress anyone, and it makes any positive comments mean a lot more.
5994491
I think the real issue is they'd like to bite me in the... you know what, never mind.
5995726
I'm just grateful you're still writing and releasing this story, especially without any guarantee of gratification from a large following. I've seen other authors whose works I enjoy lose the desire to write when they perceive a lack of acknowledgement or response from any readership. Been kinda dreading that you might get discouraged, too, after so long.
This series is really something else, not at all what I had expected. It addresses its plot elements in a far deeper and mature manner than I can presently recall reading, even those concepts which I have seen used in other stories. You challenge Equestrian values as seen on the show without willfully ignoring that they do in fact work, or at least that they have worked numerous enough times for Princess that she has very valid reasons for her arguments - arguments I agree with, even as I agree with the other arguments. Indeed, no character seems to have the Right Answer, only beliefs that, while flawed in their own ways, give results which validate their actions. Shimmer amazes me; I can't really find the right words to do justice to this character you've written. It's really, really... something else. A good something. Wish I was better able to express that. So many more things I could try to say.
I just wanted to comment, hoping it can at least express my appreciation for your sharing your writing with us.
6012236 "Asshole."
When it comes to Shimmer, the word you're looking for is "asshole".
(
)
6012236
Very good comment.
Nonagon- I've been kind of skimming through and catching bits and pieces, so I don't know the while picture of this series yet, but wow. I'm blown away so far with what I've read. I'll put all of these on my to read list, and give my thoughts when I get a chance to catch up.
6027940
Actually, I don't think that one word does full justice for her though I can't exactly pin down something better. Sure she's a sadistic bitch that enjoys being an asshole to everyone around her, yet she still has an incredible amount of charisma. Normally I hate people like that, but here I find myself siding with Shining and I just can't seem to hate her.
Great visuals in this chapter by the way, that was quite the read.
6211057
Hate Shimmer, I mean. Her life with Shining Armor is like Twilight here explained, way better than she deserves and infinitely better than she would ever acknowledge. In a way, it's the same with what's been happening all throughout these stories: Shimmer is always in control, always comes out on top, and an utterly horrible person in the process who thinks she's skilled but is just luckier than everybody else.
I can!
Ouch.
Man, it had been a while. I had forgotten exactly how fucked up everyone in this AU was.
Well, I didn't predict a Twilight x Twilight sex scene (primarily because that already sort of happened), but most of the rest of this is where I figured the character motivations would drive everyone. Didn't suspect Flash had that much pent-up anger, but it sort of makes sense from his POV.
This isn't the sort of story that has a mega-happy ending. If I'm even half-right about what's to come, this is going to be a pretty wild ride. And I can't wait.
Heh. And is there any phrase more romantic and seductive than "butt stuff"?
6362979
You know, given how much you've hyped it up, I'm terrified that the ending that I've come up with is going to turn out to be peanuts compared to the ending you've come up with. I mean, there aren't going to be any meteor swarms, if that's what you're waiting for.
Wow. That was depressing. Good, but depressing.
6364659
As you have gone along through these various "fragments", you have laid a lot of ground work that has regularly paid off. My "hype" is based on what I think you are foreshadowing and what I'm reading between the lines. And most of it is based on character motivations, rather than events. (I'd prefer not to lead people's imaginations, so I try to avoid specifics.)
If my imagination has gotten carried away, far from the mark, I still believe that even a "simple" ending to this story will still be well worth reading, given the quality of work you've shown so far.
It is 1:30 am and I am sitting here, bawling my eyes out. Thanks for shooting me right in the feels.
Wait... what?
Heh. Previously, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say my desire to see Sunset punch Shimmer right in her stupid face was about a 12. Its now up to 17. Guess Sunset has been hanging out with her goody-goody friends way too much if she didn't see some sort of blatant double-cross like this coming from her Jerkass alter ego.
Shimmer really doubled-down on the Heart-of-Jerk this chapter. Still think there's a Gold impurity in there somewhere though.
Can something good happen already?
6530809
You might be onto something there. The last line being a reference to the portal story.
6537075
Chronicles of Middlemore.
Ho boy, Shimmer really is something else.
6539182
Yes.
I'm almost wishing she actually makes it through the portal along with Twilight.
Because seeing Princess Twilight Sparkle go magic pony supernova on her ass would be sooo satisfying.
By the way... there's so much I like about this series. From the characters that are rarely explored down to this kind of kinky sex. Right up my alley.
I wonder if Twilight is ever going to ask for a bridle and reins...
Wtf is Shimmer doing...
Also I feel like there's a bit of foreshadowing going on in the description, which sounded like a silly joke at first, but now seems way too specific to be pure coincidence...
Okay, Sunset. You've now seen how low your double is willing to sink to get what she wants and how much she's willing to lie to you, your friends, and herself to justify it. She's not good. Even she knows that.
It's time to walk away from her. She's not worth it. She's not worth the dirt under your nails.
Well... this whole thing has not only gone off the rails, but it's on another track. Which is hilarious.
I was disappointed when Celestia, of all people. didn't see straight through Shimmer's thin veneer of a disguise. Slightly less so when Princess didn't either. But both of them playing her and not directly calling her out on her shit was more entertaining, and just a little bit awesome.
@___@
Oh hey it's actually been over a year now. Any hope of an ending for this? I'm still excited for it: this ended up being one of the most fascinating / original / well-constructed series I can think of from my time on fimfic.
omg.
I'm so excited that you're still working on this! I hope things are going well! Take care!
Ooh
god this is so good. Your talent for balancing conversations with the perfect amount of nuance and angst to make them strike is wonderful.
The suspense is going to kill me, I swear, though - we're so close to the climax but I have no idea when it will actually hit!
(I did actually read this three weeks ago, sorry for being bad at commenting)
That was a beautiful moment between the two Twilights. I'm just worried now the story will try to convince us Shimmer is somehow a decent person. I'm not even saying "good", just decent, and that's not something that'll work out. Shimmer needs a kick in the teeth, she's been asking for it chapter after chapter but even the narrative seems too scared of crossing her.
Really a update
I dont cry, my eyes sweat happiness
zomg yes this fic
at the edge of my seat even years later
So much build up and... I don't know. Seems like a waste after all the effort. Were it me, I'd just end it here. This is a good enough ending point.
Hey I love your writing style ššš You remind me with every goddamn paragraph why I barrelled forward as fast as possible after starting this story, and I'm sososo happy you're here to finish it off. <3
God, I'm so glad to see this finally happen. And I don't think I'm disappointed in the slightest, even after how long I've been looking forward to it. Thank you so much.
Things feel good. I don't think the ending could be any more good than this without it being a betrayal of everything the series has been, but I'm glad they're not worse just to make things feel awful. Everyone here has a future and they're managing to move towards it, and it's not exactly what our heroes want, exactly, but it shouldn't be.
Really interested to see if there's any more epilogue after this and/or if Shimmer's tales spin off into something else, if that ever happens.
9136544
I hope Shimmer finally gets comeuppance in some form. That's really the only thing I'm interested in by now. She's poisoned the rest of the story for me, and I'm actually angry about it because I loved the series before that character became involved. Now I don't care about the other characters anymore, I can't, I'm trying hard, but they all become powerless puppets as soon as she's involved, and it seems that's all they will ever be.
The story isn't tagged complete yet, which gives me room for hope. If it's going to be more about Shimmer and how she always gets what she wants... then I can't read on. At this point, I despise her too much.
I'm not sure about the ending, i disgusted with Shining being devoted to Shimmer still and planning to marry her.
More disgusted that Twilight the human one actually seems to accept Sunset, despite the fact all this is her fault, she should slugged her stomach and walked off.
that i support more than Sunset becoming a sex slave to that disgusting pair, and would love to see Candace return but now evil and gets the last laugh on Shimmer and Shining.
Well, itās been a wild multi-year journey, and I guess itās at its end. I admit, I came for the sexy Flashlight parts but stuck around longer for the overall narrative. It had its ups and downs, good drama and bad, and plenty moments thatāll remain in my mind for years to come. Stuff like Shining and Twilight never making up will bother me for a while, but drama probably wonāt leave everyone satisfied. In the end, mostly satisfying is how Iād describe both conclusions. Isnāt it good to finally put that ācompleteā tag on this universe?
Oh wait, is it marked incomplete again?
Well, you must be doing something right, because I found this series by random chance and blitzed the entire thing in about six hours. So congrats, you ate up my entire morning.
Solid writing, mostly solid drama, mostly very good and hot sex, even if it occasionally got a bit, uh, rapey. I know you joked about this a lot in the comments but I always enjoyed Twi/Flash as a ship and that's really what made me start reading it in the first place. I'm glad you stuck with it even if it wasn't a popular pairing, and it was a really interesting look at how things might have gone for them if Twilight never had to leave. Or wasn't able to, I guess, in this case. Plus the ensuing selfcest threesome(s) were extremely good as well. Really made me wish the three of them would just get over themselves and spend the rest of the story having more hot sex. I mean that as a compliment, I promise.
I have two main complaints, though.
Firstly, the sheer size of the idiot ball Shining Armor had to have been holding for this whole premise to get off the ground is laughable. I know teenagers do stupid things when they're being led around by their dicks, but old-Sunset's incest-date setup required comical levels of misunderstandings shenanigans to be successful; literally, it would have been more appropriately-placed in a comedy, not a serious drama. Not to mention the staggering lack of trust between siblings who are supposed to be close, for him to....not only not believe Twilight wasn't responsible, but for that to literally be his first assumption and then disown her for years over it? Wooooof. Really stretched the limits of my suspension of disbelief there, the more I sat and thought about it. And honestly he never really got better. I was hoping he'd sort of wake up somewhat once the truth came out, but he just shifted out from one Sunset's thumb and under another's, with a side of revenge-fucking. It's not quite bad enough for me to call it character assassination, but....definitely some WAY too liberal use of the idiot ball.
The "character assassination" moniker feels more accurate, though, with Sunset. My god, this version of her was an insufferable doormat.
This was on one level less egregious than Shining Armor's case, because with Sunset I somewhat understood. Her bullying was significantly worse in this version, and the consequences of her actions were significantly more severe. She has good reason to be guilt-ridden and I can see where that translates to depression and suicidal behavior. But like Shining Armor, she also never really got out from under someone's thumb, and was far more overtly irritating about it. If it wasn't Twilight's fury/her own guilt, it was Shimmer's oppressive (and disgustingly consequence-free) domineering. In canon, Sunset bounced back within six months, if Rainbow Rocks was any indication; here it's been, what, a couple of years, minimum? And she never recovered, never found her way again, never reached some sort of peak and conclusion to her arc. She spent the whole story being miserable, depressing and without agency, right til the very end, not even remotely resembling the real Sunset anymore. SHIMMER more closely resembled the real Sunset, and she's a heinous bitch, far more of a villain than the boogeymen changelings she was ostensibly supposed to be fighting. It's like the two of them took off running in opposite directions from Sunset's core personality until they were each at polar extremes as far as possible from the original character. But as much as Shimmer made herself deeply hate-able, at least she got shit done, and it's better that I hate a character than be bored by one. Sunset wallowed in her drama and never managed to pull herself out of it, and that made for a very dull and uninteresting version of her.
Those two big sticking points aside, though, my experience with this series was mostly positive. I'm not entirely certain this is 100% the end, because some aspects do sort of have an air of 'to be continued' about them, but given the fic title and the last chapters' titles, I'm assuming this is the end of the road. If another story in the series comes along though, I'll gladly revisit the series.
Either way, keep writing!
--CG