It's hard enough to write a good fanfic. Imagine trying to do so with Pinkie Pie breaking the fourth wall in your own story...
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- Member Since 13th Mar, 2012
- offline last seen Oct 21st, 2017
BaroqueNexus
I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. Hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon.
BaroqueNexus
Joined 13th Mar, 2012 ·
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No flavor text of any kind? It's kind of just a script of dialogue don't you think?
I'm sorry. But you need to rely on more than just rapidly spoken lines for a story. It is choppy, confusing, and the lack of punctuation is painful. Words are fine, don't get me wrong. But there has to be some (The pink pony did X) lines. All conversation with absolutely no thought or charector action makes a terrible story.
I'd like to be the nice guy and say it's good but I can't do that. I'm sorry, but it's terrible. Maybe not the idea. But the way it is put together makes me cringe. Maybe if you went back and added a lot of movement and explaination in between the parenthese, it could be much better.
I love how Mist made a disbelieving type of comment as Celestia is snickering on the avatar. It looks really appropriate for this situation.
460740 While Discord naunchelauntly drinks his milk glass.
460745
Like a Sir.
460726>>460739 its the whole point of the story is that no actual story was written due to pinkie pie interrupting. and many scifi short stories are nothing but dialogue exchanges and you have to figure out on your own what the characters are doing. sometimes it's email, sometimes it's a chat feed, and in this case it's a constant series of interruptions
460740 Oh God, funny story about my avatar: my account got stolen and someone put that there to fuck with me, and I haven't changed it back yet.
None the less I always try and give honest critiques to stories to give authors stuff to build off of. That is why I formed the group High Quality Fictions.
460817 Well in my book just because others have done it doesn't mean it was good or successful.
460819
Funny story indeed, you just made me literally LOL.
Nice group you have there, once I reach the level of literacy where my grammar isn't plain awful, I might even dare trying to submit something.
Oh look, it's this again. This idea isn't overdone at all.
Well i think it is really excellent for a story just maybe a short story but it was pretty good.
That is why I have not mentioned her name in my fiction yet. I am to afraid that she will pop out of the screen as fast as I write down her name or atleast more of her excistenc in the past.
PS: Only description readen.
Not sure if dislike, or downright love... Either way, have a mustache.
Been done before, not that this makes it bad. I'll give it a like.
Overused formula is so overused, it's now boring.
I got a few laughs from reading this story.
Though I wonder why you didn't double space the story? It would've been a lot easier to read this story if you could take care of some formatting, especially to tell the difference between who's talking
Good job though
Funny. Made me smile
So... why was he fighting it? If pinkie started typing on my computer I would fanboy squee.
Also I wana guess your name is Bryan, Brian, or Bryant
500249 Actually, none of the above.
My name does begin with Br. It's a Gaelic name. It's also a type of shoe.
That's all I'm saying.
500257 Aha I figured ur name out. BrClogs. or wait. BrNike, BrSneakers, BrPennyLoafers.
Am I close?
460739 I love how you don't notice that that's the whole point of the story.
504745 It does not matter if it is the point. I know what it's supposed to be. I just don't like it one bit. It isnt hard to write like that. It's unclear. Overall it just makes for a bad read.
504755 You still don't get it. The whole point of the story is that the author (me) is so distracted and fed up with Pinkie Pie interfering with the story that his writing ability diminishes. I didn't write this story to be a story, but rather a story about me trying to write a story while being constantly sidetracked by Pinkie.
However, you are entitled to your opinion. I'd just like to say that next time you write a fic, if you have a pet, have it cavort around in front of you while you're trying to write, while simultaneously blasting loud music in your room, and see how well your writing is then.
504772 I did that, I got Wrong Hospital Niko Bellic.
504786 weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme.png
504793
i.imgur.com/mmbqU.jpg
504800fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/077/c/3/The_Sarcasm_Misunderstanding_by_ThePlotThinnens.jpg
504806
i.imgur.com/ehSoN.gif
I know right?
Oh, but nice big bang theory reference.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/196/606/6004515698_95885f1a81.jpg
504830 Does that mean I win?
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwf8bvxWUK1r1niyv.jpg
But seriously,
28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzts2coiq31qz8da8o1_400.jpg
How about we agree to disagree, rather than fight all night?
For Pinkie's sake?
Fuck that shit.
OPEN FIRE!
i.imgur.com/FumBr.gif
504869chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-haters-gonna-hate.gif
504869 Oh, and for added measure chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-fire-the-twilight-gun1.gif
504892
i.imgur.com/kDE7K.gif
Look, i have the same one, just without the stamp on the bottom.
But, you better look out, your hatemail box is full.
i.imgur.com/SLytY.gif
Quick! use dancing kids as a deflector shield!
i.imgur.com/UmgQl.gif
504910media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj52xxMjY51qzvqde.gif
My face now.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lh28dktIrd1qbk0zj.gif
My face later.
504919
i.imgur.com/Dt2tm.jpg
504930fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/081/9/6/deal_with_it_pony_by_ileeuu-d3c7tqu.gif
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/60953-Shadow%20of%20Death/953/93/130645385443_display.jpg 504944
504960s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/4db77_ORIG-look_at_all_the_fucks_i_give.jpg
i.qkme.me/357cdl.jpg 504966
theuniblog.evilspacerobot.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/130588395195_display_display.gif 504974
504978
Topic change
img.ponibooru.org/images/c7/c777c3d4bcc42b8ed7132b3cc0c133ea
theuniblog.evilspacerobot.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/33kes20.gif
504983
Well-fought, sir.
504991
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/358/0/2/hurt_twilight_sparkle_vector_by_masterrottweiler-d4k4m7z.png
and to you the same.
openclipart.org/people/Tavin/like_a_sir.svg 505006
505013
Heh, yo're all right kid.
SO MUCH MEME.
*brain melts*