• Member Since 11th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago


the ponies... thry tell me things... buetiful things...

Comments ( 326 )

The grammar you used for the intro makes it difficult to read. Could you please adjust it so we have a better idea what your story is about? Thank you.

4871497 could I get some pointers? becaus i can't do grammer worth a damn.

Alright I will see what I can do. :pinkiecrazy:

First I hear a voice in my head. I thought i was going crazy. Then I wake up as a pony that this worlds apparently hates more then Hitler.

Change this to:


First I hear a voice in my head. I thought I was going crazy. Then I woke up as a pony in this world where apparently everyone hates ponies more then Hitler.

There. I hope that helps. I would recommend trying to find someone to proof read your story. :pinkiehappy:

Good another story! Sadness sice I want more that I can't get now:(

I don't really see why people dislike this:rainbowhuh:
Though then again I probably have weird tastes or something:twilightsheepish:
Oh well.

The the main six and the princesses are to accepting and out of character, the command prompt doesn't help. No one like a computer in there brain, it makes for a bad read. Or it needs a comedy tag

Others dislike for the sake of it or that it's another MMN story(which I like). Others dislike because it's a male in a female body which means (s)he is now a fillyfooler(I think its hot). But most of all, people dislike it because of poor grammar and the far-to-fast pacing. The only way to really improve that? writing more and having an editor. A good editor.

4876683 I will admit that I have problems with pacing and grammer

as to the acceptance fact, remember, Luna clearly knew Nightmares soul was destroyed, and the other ponies would have had a moth to digest that fact. even then, BOTH princesses were their as well as the Elements, so they were fairly certain that they could subdue her if she tried anything funny.

as for the command prompt, that was just a one time thing to show how her magic and abilities would integrate with her mind, beside, I believe you would prefer a command prompt in you head over a demon alicorn trying to take over your body.

as for the whole monkey see monky do thing, I liked the idea, and tried to give it my own spin.
and the gender swap dosn't matter if you dont swing. period. it also helps reduce the urge to ship.

As the Command prompt is done, yes I would like that vary much but, it makes for a poor read. Try something like this...

As the orb of power probed my mind, I poked back to get a good feel for it. As I realized what it was trying to do I tried to feel it, to read it so I knew what it could do. It was a jumbled mess and to hard to read. So I tried to focus on one part that fault protective, and decided to bring to forth.

Doing it this way gives you more words(if you did the 'feel' for all the powers) and slows the pacing a bit.

As for shipping? I'm a fan of Luna X Moon, even is it's not really Nightmare.

Grammar nazi

And it fits the situation

4903677 At the time the grammar for the story description made the story confusing. I am glad to see that it has been improved. :twilightsmile:

I find filly foolers adorable and it seems better...not for sexual reasons...just saying just in case.
Probably because I like the personalities better.

You can't "destroy" a soul.

"Fuck logic, I have magic. Your argument is invalid."

4967325 I never said that.. by evicted permenatly, I mean the Nightmare was banished to the Void, stripped of all memorys

I have one thing to say to you.


and how long has it been since discord.

Oh and Tia's a filly fooler basically?
And glomping is a hug?

Um, romance tag or...no?

4967659 it been about afive days since discord

And Tia, well if you've been around for over a thousand years, you'd have some weird quirks as well

Glomping is a tackle hug

And finaly... shark week

Shark week?

And oh...well Luna now knows about Tia's preferences.

4967992 its an obscure refrence to a fanfic I read, where this guy would use the phrase 'shark week' as an expanation for anything he didn't understand

And to quoat tf2's medic: I HAVE NO IDEA!

I was going to post that but found the other.

Aww, I'm kind of sad that he/she is a misanthrope... At least he isn't ranting, whining or complaining about how bad humanity is, he's just ignoring the good parts.

Well of course Equestria would hate NMM more than Hitler, they don't know who Hitler was.

5007912 FINALLY someone gets the joke!

I thought it sounded like one...

Question, was the squeak from surprise, something she didn't want to do, or happy squeak?

Oh, lol, ponies are also cute when they blush.

Also, the previous chapter (I think?) Why was ribbon so uncomfortable with night in her bed?

5010073 she wast there when Ribbon fell aslep, youd freak if you woke up being sngled by someone who wasnt there last night

Not if it was someone who you're basically in a relationship with and they have fur and are snuggling.

Chrysalis is going to get curb stomped.

Very good here, although I noticed the first paragraph the word to is spelled tuo atm.

Oh, so Molly comes out to play when Celly gets drunk?

And again, good job on this.

Makes you think that molestia is a drunk
That explains everything

I will favorite this one just to see where it's going


Blue screen of death?

Is it wrong for me to read some of Chitsuki's lines in the voice of the Tf2 soldier?

Omg no, :rainbowlaugh: you didn't :rainbowlaugh:
You just used the troll weapon on Wendy! :rainbowlaugh:

5053277 actually, thats what i was emulating

I lol'd when chi asked on a scale 1 to 10...

(Silently pleads for "are we there yet?" References)

I saw he asked it anyways...mares LOVE references.

That would suck, magic burnout. (Stupid subconscious...)

"Remeber... I'll be watching you...[i/]"

Needs fixing as it's caused half chapter in italics

And I knew discord would do something with a camera, or interupt because apparently I've read to much fanfiction......joke not intended.

No, she doesn't. The changelings are male or female and Ribbon is a QUEEN.
I should know, I help write this junk. :derpytongue2:

I lived that part. Go. To. Sleep. Jeff the killer right there!

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