Denial
Twilight raised her head up and let out a sigh as she used her right hoof to wipe the sweat from her forehead. Her first ‘job’ of the day was helping out on Carrot Top’s farm, checking the crops, picking the ones that were ready, and making sure the tools were all in good condition. It was the kind of attention to detail work she was used to doing both in Equestria and at Mother Base, so that part wasn’t what bothered her, and she knew across town her friends from Canterlot were busy doing small jobs of their own to help her earn extra bits. It’d been several days since they started doing this, so that wasn’t what was bothering her.
It was the fact that she hadn’t been sleeping any better over the last few nights that was weighing down on her, in the literal sense. Not getting a good night’s sleep was starting to wear on her and she felt like she had to keep moving and pushing herself to keep the feeling of exhaustion from entering her mind. It seemed like she really had to put in a conscious effort that she’d never had to before. Between her all-night study sessions in the past and her field assignments for MSF forcing her at times to ignore her body’s needs in order to keep herself alive in dangerous territory, she felt like this should’ve been easy for her. So why did it seem like it wasn’t?
Shaking her head, Twilight brought herself back to the present and remembered what she was supposed to be doing. She had to check the plant beds for weeds amongst the crops. She looked down and saw she was holding her knife in her right hoof, close to the ground and her left hoof. She stared for a moment before she shook her head and leaned forward, checking the plants in front of her to make sure there were no weeds and thinking to herself, “Stop thinking about the knife! You know how sharp it is; there’s no need to worry about it, no reason to check it…” She pushed the last thought out of her head as she continued working.
About an hour later, Twilight exited the tool shed to find Carrot Top waiting for her. “I think that’ll do it for today, Twilight. Thanks so much for the help!” the earth pony said. Twilight wordlessly nodded in reply. Carrot Top then brought her right hoof forward, a small bag full of bits sitting on top of it. “Here you go. I promised I’d pay you once I sold enough in the marketplace, and I ended up selling more than usual the other day, so I threw in a little extra for you!” she smiled.
Twilight stared at the bag for a moment before slowly taking it in her hooves. “Oh, well, uh, thank you, Carrot Top. That’s really nice of you,” she said as she looked down at the bag.
Carrot Top replied, “Hey, it’s no problem. I mean, I’m not entirely sure why you need to work for bits, what with being one of the princesses and all, but hey, you’ve been gone for a while, and if a princess is really interested in learning how to farm and help, then who am I to say no?” Twilight nodded and went to grab her saddlebags, Carrot Top following after her. “You know, we should really meet up sometime over lunch or something. This has been nice so far,” the mare remarked as Twilight slipped the bits bag into her saddlebags and put them on.
“Yeah, well… it would have to be something that wouldn’t interfere with you, since you’ve got so much to take care of,” she replied, looking back at the earth pony.
“Well, that wouldn’t be a problem for me, and I bet you’d be able to find the best time when you’re available,” Carrot Top said.
Twilight turned her head forward and uttered, “Yeah, maybe, I don’t know…” She raised her hoof to wave back to Carrot Top, the mare waving to her as she left. She had to get over to Quills and Sofas for her part-time work there. She’d tried to pick jobs in spots where she was least likely to run into her friends or ponies that would communicate with them. She didn’t want them to find out what she was doing or why just yet. Right now, she really needed the distraction.
Later, as it was approaching noon, Twilight was walking through the town, keeping an eye out for her friends as she tried to enjoy a brief period of silence. She was so caught up in looking for her friends that she didn’t hear or see a familiar scooter speeding towards her until it collided into her side, both her and the pegasus filly on it getting thrown the ground. After a few moments, Twilight looked over at the filly next to her and asked, “Scootaloo?”
The small pegasus looked over at the sound of her name and a smile appeared on her muzzle. “Twilight!” she exclaimed, surprising the older mare when she rolled over and leapt at her, giving her a hug.
Despite her surprise, Twilight placed a hoof underneath Scootaloo’s flanks as she raised herself to a sitting position. “It’s nice to see you too, Scootaloo,” she said, not sure what else to say. She looked up a few moments later when she heard the sound of small hooves and saw two more familiar fillies running towards her. “Oh! Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle!”
The two Crusaders came to a stop in front of her. “Twilight! We heard ya were back!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.
“Where have you been? Did you go on a big adventure? Did you save the day?” Sweetie Belle squeaked out excitedly.
Twilight held her free hoof up slightly, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! One thing at a time, girls.” She set down Scootaloo, who had finally let go of her, and said, “I’m glad to see you’re doing well, girls. I’m sorry; I’ve been kind of busy these last few days.”
Sweetie Belle nodded, “I bet! You’ve been gone for a month!”
Apple Bloom added, “We wanted ta go find you, but our sisters wouldn’t let us!”
Twilight glanced down,” I could see that…”
She looked up when Scootaloo asked, “So what have you been doing? Been getting used to being home again? What did you do while you were away?”
Twilight replied, “That’s part of it, yes, and that… is a long story. Very long.” She glanced at their flanks and added, “I’m pretty sure I’ll be taking up all of your crusading time if I tell you.”
The fillies seemed disappointed by this, but they soon perked up. “Hey, speakin’ o’ which, there was somethin’ we wanted to ask ya, Twilight,” Apple Bloom said.
Twilight looked intrigued by this. “Oh?” she asked, before blushing a bit as her stomach let out a growl.
“Are you hungry, Twilight?” Scootaloo asked.
Twilight rubbed the back of her head with a hoof, “I guess I haven’t eaten much today.”
Sweetie Belle suggested, “Well, why don’t we go get something to eat? We could go to the Hayburger!”
Twilight considered the idea for a moment before saying, “All right. I’ll buy this time.” She stood up and the four of them began making their way to the establishment at the edge of town.
After a couple minutes of walking, they arrived at the restaurant and stepped inside. Twilight told the Crusaders to find a table while she ordered the food. A few minutes later, she made her way over to the circular table the fillies were seated at, taking a seat across from them and giving them each a tray with a meal on it. They quickly dug into their food while Twilight watched with a smile. “It’s pretty good, isn’t it, girls?” she ventured after a minute.
Scootaloo was the first to answer, “Uh-huh! I don’t get to eat here often, so I’m glad we came.”
Sweetie Belle added, “Well, you liked it so much the last time, Twilight, so that’s why I thought of it.” She looked down and realized Twilight only had a single hayburger and drink in front of her. “Is that all you got for yourself, Twilight?” she asked, catching the other Crusaders’ attention.
Twilight looked down, seemingly just noticing her comparatively small meal for the first time. “Huh. I guess when I was ordering, I forgot to order something substantial for myself,” she remarked.
Apple Bloom frowned, “That doesn’t sound like you, Twilight.” The older mare didn’t respond, instead glancing off to the side at the other ponies in the restaurant while quietly taking a sip of her drink.
She looked back at the fillies when Sweetie Belle slid her tray a little towards her and said, “Here Twilight, you can have some of my fries.”
Twilight let go of her straw, “But… Sweetie Belle, you’ve hardly eaten.”
Sweetie Belle smiled, “It’s okay. I really appreciate the meal, but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to eat all this.”
Twilight looked at her for a moment before saying, “Oh, okay. Rarity’s probably going to want to kill me when she finds out about this. Applejack and Rainbow Dash too.” There was an awkward silence for a few moments before Twilight said, “I guess I can have a few fries.” She used her magic to take a couple of fries from Sweetie’s tray as she raised her hayburger to her mouth and took a few bites. “So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about, girls?” she asked afterwards.
Apple Bloom was the first to speak, “Well, we’ve been talkin’, and we were wonderin’ if we could do… ya know, TT again?”
Twilight blinked, “What?”
Scootaloo leaned forward a little and whispered, “You know… Twilight Time.”
Twilight replied, “Oh! Oh, right, that.” She glanced around a little before saying, “Uh, I don’t think so, girls.”
Scootaloo and her friends looked disappointed as she leaned back. “Why not?” she asked.
Twilight shrugged, “Well, all I ever did was make you look at books, right? There’s no library now, so… can’t really do that now.”
Sweetie Belle said, “Well, we don’t have to do that. You could show us stuff to try, and you could tell us stuff too!”
Apple Bloom nodded, “Yeah, like what those strange clothes you’re wearin’ are! And that patch on yer face! You must’ve learned a lot and done some pretty heroic stuff, Twilight!”
Twilight looked away, “Yeah… that’s not true in the slightest.” She looked back at the Crusaders, “I really think your crusading time would be better spent doing anything else.”
Sweetie gave her a sad look, “But… we liked spending time with you, Twilight…”
Twilight gave her a stony look, “You wouldn’t want to spend time with me now. No one would.” The short silence that followed was broken by Twilight’s iDroid beeping. She unclipped it and brought it up in front of her, the Crusaders seeing part of its display as she clicked it on and looked at it. “Ah, shi- I have to get going,” she muttered under her breath. She put it back in its holder as she stood up, saying, “Listen girls, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but the less you see of me, the better. Trust me on that. It was good to see you again after all this time, though.” She grabbed her drink and what was left of her hayburger before heading for the doors, leaving three perplexed and worried fillies sitting at the table.
Later that evening, Twilight dragged herself through the front doors of her castle, exhausted. She’d finished catching up with her old friends and counting how many bits they’d accumulated, and it seemed like they were making progress. Not speedy progress, but her friends had reassured her that they would get the money to pay off the entire debt together and she shouldn’t worry what the town council thought, especially since the Mayor was on her side. It did make her feel better, but it wasn’t enough to assuage her worries entirely.
When she reached the main staircase, she saw Shining and Cadance coming down, both of them hurrying down to meet her when they noticed her. “Twilight! How was your day?” Cadance asked as they approached her.
Twilight shrugged, “Well… tiring, but productive.”
Shining asked, “You know, you never did tell us, what have you been doing these last few days? Where do you go? We haven’t been seeing you around Ponyville.”
Twilight answered, “Oh, you know, around. I’m also trying to work out a new daily routine. I really shouldn’t let everything I’ve picked up go to waste.”
Shining nodded, “Hm. Listen Twily, I know you’re tired, but the first shipment of books from Canterlot arrived this afternoon. You remember Princess Celestia mentioning that they would be arriving before she and Luna had to go back to Canterlot.”
Twilight rotated her right shoulder a bit to get a kink out of it as she said, “Oh yeah. I’d better go take a look at what she sent over.” She started making her way to the castle library with her brother and sister-in-law in tow.
Spike was sitting on the center table in the library, nestled between several stacks of books as he read a comic book. He looked up when Twilight, Shining, and Cadance came through the doors and swung his legs around so he faced them. “It’s about time you got home, Twilight! I would’ve started shelving these myself, but I don’t know how you organized the old library. That’s like the one thing I never figured out,” he remarked.
Twilight looked at him and the books around him with a tired expression for a moment before she looked off to the side of the table and noticed a cardboard box that looked big enough to fit a pony inside. “What’s in the box?” she asked.
“More books, I imagine. Might be more valuable ones that they thought needed extra protection, considering they were all delivered in an uncovered wagon,” Shining said.
Rather than turn her attention back to the books on the table, Twilight walked over to the box and opened the flaps, looking inside. “Lot of packing pellets in here…” she muttered as she lifted her head out of it. She looked down at the contents of the box for a few moments before her horn lit up and she lifted all the books and packing pellets out of it. She dropped everything off to the side, the pellets cushioning the books’ landing, and proceeded to climb inside the box, closing the flaps. “Ahh…” she sighed in the darkness.
Shining, Cadance, and Spike all stared at the weird display and, when it became clear Twilight wasn’t coming out of the box any time soon, they all walked over to it. “Uh, Twilight?” Shining called as he tapped the side of the box with a hoof.
“Yes?” Twilight replied, sounding surprisingly relaxed.
“You… okay?” Shining asked.
“Oh yeah. There’s something indescribable about just sitting in a cardboard box. I don’t know what it is, some kind of inner peace, I guess. Never would’ve realized it was possible to achieve if it weren’t for the MSF,” Twilight answered.
Spike spoke, “Uh, cool. Whatever you say, Twilight. Are you gonna be in there for a while?”
Twilight responded simply, “Probably.”
Cadance said, “Well, it’s getting on dinnertime, Twilight. Shining and I are probably going to go pick something up again. It’s been a nice change of pace from all the palace food. If you’d like, we can pick you up something too.”
Twilight replied, “Sure, go ahead.”
Cadance nodded, “Okay. And don’t forget, tomorrow…”
Twilight interrupted, “Luna and Celestia will be back, as will Discord, and we’ll all be having a little get-together in the afternoon. And there’s an order to pick up for it at Sugarcube Corner. I know, I didn’t forget.”
Spike remarked, “Huh. Maybe the box isn’t such a bad thing.”
Cadance said, “Okay. We’ll be back in a little bit, Twilight.” She and Shining then turned to leave and Spike, after carefully considering his options for a few moments, hurried to go with them and leave Twilight to be alone in her place of peace.
Across town, Applejack was helping get dinner ready for her family when Apple Bloom walked into the kitchen. The filly and her friends had managed to have a full day of crusading, but their brief lunch with Twilight had dragged down their spirits somewhat. They couldn’t get the way the alicorn acted at the restaurant out of their heads; it just seemed so wrong to them. Now that there wasn’t much to distract her with, Apple Bloom was hoping her big sister could help her.
“Uh, Applejack?” she asked as she stood in front of the kitchen doorway.
The orange earth pony looked back over her shoulder, “Howdy, Apple Bloom.” She noticed the pensive look and asked, “What’s on yer mind?”
Apple Bloom glanced down at the floor, not sure how to start. “Well, we bumped into Twilight today,” she said after a moment, looking up.
Applejack smiled, “That’s nice. How’s she doin’? Catchin’ up with work here ain’t exactly left me a lotta time ta see her these last few days.”
Apple Bloom glanced around before saying, “She was… okay, Ah guess.”
Applejack turned around fully at that, “You ‘guess’?”
Apple Bloom asked, “Did somethin’ happen ta her while she was gone, Applejack?”
The orange pony raised an eyebrow at that, “Did she tell you anything?”
Apple Bloom shook her head, “No.”
Applejack replied, “Good. Ain’t exactly a story fit for young fillies.”
Apple Bloom said, “She was actin’ weird though, Applejack. We went out to lunch together and she ordered more food fer us than her, she acted like we weren’t safe around her, she had to leave in the middle of the meal…”
Applejack tilted her head, “Huh… That is a bit odd.” She straightened her head, “Well, Ah wouldn’t worry about it too much, Apple Bloom. All ya need ta know is that Twilight’s seen and experienced things nopony should have to, and things like that can change a pony. A lot.”
Apple Bloom asked, “In a month?”
Applejack replied, “It’s been a lot longer fer her. But Ah’m tellin’ you, Ah’m sure she’s fine. We were with her almost the entire time in Canterlot, and while she did show off plenty of new things ‘bout herself, she was still the same ol’ Twilight. Maybe she was just havin’ an off day.”
Apple Bloom protested, “But Applejack…”
Her sister stopped her, “No buts, Apple Bloom. Look, me and the girls will be seein’ her tomorrow. Ah’ll watch her, but Ah’m tellin’ you, she’s been gone for quite a while and it’s been a rough time fer her. She probably still needs to get used to bein’ home and sortin’ out how ta deal with how she was before and how she is now. Now go wash up; dinner’s gonna be ready soon.”
Apple Bloom looked at her for a moment before nodding, “Okay, Applejack.” She then turned and exited the kitchen, heading to the bathroom upstairs to wash up. As she walked up the stairs, she wondered how Twilight was doing, and what Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were telling other ponies about her.
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oh joy, twilight's got PTSD, and the only ones who've noticed decide to tell the one person too stubborn and dense to believe it.
Okay first things first I'll just leave this here:
The reference to the conversation with Sigint in MGS3 was just too perfect.
and secondly I'm not sure if I should be giddy with excitement, or worried that Rainbow Rocks is rapidly approaching for Twilight, though it'll be interesting to see what happens either way.
9405029 Actually of The CMC so far only Apple Bloom is the only one who has talked to her sister, Sweetie Belle hasn't talked to Rarity yet, and Scootaloo hasn't talked to Rainbow Dash (even though Dash is only a Sister figure, rather than her actual sister). Moreover this is Applejack we're talking about here, while she may be stubborn, it's less likely that she doesn't believe Applebloom, it's most likely that she doesn't want her sister to worry about Twilight. While AJ's element is Honesty, she's also AB's big sister, and a good older sibling won't let a younger sibling worry about such things (Not that AJ was being dishonest telling, since Applebloom everything would likely have done more harm than good both to Applebloom and to Twilight)
- Thunder
9405224
this is also the same pony who almost worked themself to death thinking she could handle everything on her own. just saying, her judgement on what someone can and cant deal with by themselves is...questionable in my opinion. and she's already proven to be all but incapable of telling even a white lie at the best of times, making me doubt her being able to do so just to keep apple bloom from worrying.
similarly, she's already completely disregarded apple blooms opinion on something once before, the zecora incident.
honestly, the only one who likely listen would be rarity, as dash would likely brush it off
9405565
Point Taken, though I feel I must clarify; I didn't mean I thought AJ was lying, just that she was telling the truth in a "well... She's not wrong" sort of way.
Also Let's not forget this is set Post-Season 4, AJ and the rest of the Mane 6 have learned plenty of lessons since Season 1, which is when at least two of the incidents you mentioned occured. As for RD I give her a 50/50 chance of brushing it off due to her varying connections with the Wonderbolts, and if whoever was expressing the concerns worded it right.
- Thunder
I dunno I like both sides of the story equally though I hope this gets addressed in some way since Twilight Deserves some form a of respite from the storm.
9405224
9405712
Thank you, and this is what I was shooting for with Applejack. I wanted to make her reasonable, but not seem totally dense.
9405565
These are good points for me to keep in mind.
9405818
She will, but it might not be for a while.
i am really liking this story
So despite what AJ says Twilight is infact not fine and has major things to go through. Liked the CMC and Twilight scene though nice to see them worried about her.
9407173
More mah men