Ah Must Be Kiddin' Myself

by The Masked Mare

Chapter Six

Chapter Six

“Applejack? Discord?”

“Um,” I squirmed outta Discord’s grip as another song began, my whole face turnin’ as red as a phoenix, risin’ from the ashes. My ears flattened, my eyes focused intently on the ground; my vision becomin’ blurry and strange, my skin buzzin’ with the tepid ghost of Discord’s hold. Eeyup. I just screwed up everythin’! GOSH. DARN. IT!

Purple hooves appeared on the dirt in front o’ me; the only things I could look at without coughin’ up my intestines right now. Well, that just happened.

“Discord? Wha...?” Twilight started ta say, her incredulous tone rippin’ a horrible tear the trunk of my apple tree. The littl’ songbirds flew far, far away as the sunny sky of my soul clouded with miserable storm clouds, filled with heavy, tear-filled rain. Figures. What was I thinkin’, fallin’ in love with Discord? My friends would never approve. My family would never approve.

“It’s nothin’.” I cut ‘er off, my voice as sharp as a knife. Blinkin’ back the tears that had attacked my eyes, straightenin’ my back ta look her straight in the face. Hard as a stone, I stared inta her eyes, smilin’ the most assurin’ smile I could muster.

“No, no, Applejack...” Twilight started, reachin’ out ta put a hoof on my shoulder. I dodged, coughin’ as the dancin’ ponies behind ‘er kicked up another dust storm. I was about to retort, ta dismiss ‘er concern with a wave of my hoof, when I caught somethin’ in her eyes. Somethin’ that made her pupils wobble, somethin’ that made my expression soften, somethin’ that kept my apple tree from shrivellin’ up an’ dyin’.

Somethin’ a littl’ like...understandin’.

“She’s right; it was nothing,” a voice deadpanned beside me, drippin’ with sarcasm, “it was nothing but a joke; a little chaos, if you would. What, did you think I was serious?”

Twilight’s eyes flashed dangerously as Discord snapped his claw, makin’ upside-down sunglasses appear on ‘is face. He grabbed ‘em with ‘is paw, his eyebrow flyin’ off of his forehead (I’m serious, that’s what happened) an’ he pulled ‘em low on ‘is nose, a gesture that Rainbow Dash made when she was wearin’ ‘er sunglasses, lookin’ at somethin’ like she couldn’t believe that she was seein’.

My heart deflated, the joy, the hope, and elation I had felt while in Discord’s arms driftin’ away faster than ya could say, “Oh.”

“Discord.” Twilight muttered threatenin’ly, her tone icy cold an’ her eyes narrowin’ inta slits. I dug at the ground feriously, fumin’. Have yer littl’ secrets, Twilight. I don’t care one. Littl’. Bit. Heck, go off an’ marry Discord fer all I care. All he ever cared 'bout was his stupid jokes an' pranks.

He never, ever cared ‘bout me.

“What? You know me, Twilight. I always like a good joke or two,” Discord shrugged, his voice sendin’ shivers down my back as he reached forward and tapped Twilight’s horn, which turned into a rubber chicken. He laughed, puttin’ a claw on ‘is forehead like it was the funniest darn thing in Equestria.

I really, really wanted ta laugh right then.

But I was empty.

Discord had stolen my heart, ripped it apart, put it back together again, all the pieces in the wrong places.

“Ya know what? I think it might be time fer cake,” I piped up, hot an’ unconcerned. Or at least, I tried ta sound unconcerned. Is there a class fer becomin’ emotionless? ‘Cuz that would be a whole lotta help righ’ ‘bout now.

“But Applejack,” Twilight interjected, rufflin’ her wings and puttin’ a hoof in front o’ me as if ta stop me. She wanted ta say somethin’ ta me, somethin’ ‘bout Discord, somethin’ ‘bout the way he held me. I could tell it was caught in ‘er throat, like the hairball Opalescence had coughed up onta my hooves last week. Her eyes were shinin’ with unsaid words, her lips fumblin’ with difficult sentences.

I wouldn’t hear it. There ain’t nothin’ she could say that could make a difference.

Discord had never cared.

“But nothin’, Twilight. Now c’mon, I’m hungry.”

I placed a hoof on ‘er shoulder, smilin’ like everythin’ was just peachy keen, and started ta trot over ta the table where the cake was. Discordant notes from the song that was playin’ swarmed in my mind like a chorus of inferiated wasps, a horrible reminder of my heart, broken and torn. I didn’t look back.

Discord an’ Twilight were left alone, in the blazin’ ruins of my masked sadness.

---

“Make a wish, Apple Bloom!”

The cake was by far the hardest thing that I had ta prepare fer this party. It was a large, three-tiered Raspberry Cream an’ vanilla delight, topped with homemade whipped cream, strawberries, an’ a littl’ plastic flag on the very top with the Cutie Mark Crusader logo on it. Littl’ designs o’ apples an’ flowers, made out o’ golden frostin’, lined the sides delicately. On each of the layers, there were four candles, pink an’ white, their tops dancin’ with littl’ fire spirits.

Everypony was gathered ‘round the long, red table, squeezin’ forks like they were the only things that kept ‘em alive, droolin’ as they stared at the cake. My littl’ sister was sittin’ at the head o’ the table, her eyes glazed with the reality of this day, of this moment, when she was ‘bout to move a whole ‘nother year forward in time. The candleligh’ reflected in her wide eyes as she sucked in a breath.

She closed ‘er eyes, lifted ‘er shoulders, and blew a long, graceful breath, blowin’ out all of the candles, until there was only one candle left, on the top; an abandoned soul. I wonder what she wished fer; the possibilities were endless, knowin’ Apple Bloom. I just prayed ta the stars that she chose with a good head screwed on ‘er shoulders.

It took a few moments fer me ta realize that Apple Bloom was starin’ at me, as the last candle began ta fold in on itself and dwindle inta nothin’. I blinked twice, raisin’ my eyebrow slightly as I put a hoof on ‘er shoulder, leanin’ low ta whisper in ‘er ear.

“Whaddya waitin’ fer, SugarCube? Go on an’ blow out yer last candle!” I urged ‘er on, my voice wearin’ a crystal-clear smile. Why’s she starin’ at me like that?

Oh, darnet. I probably have somethin’ stupid on my face again.

“I want you to blow out the last candle, sis,” she whispered inta my ear, her voice soft an’ serious. My vision blurred as I processed what she had said; the candle fadin’ fast in front of me. She wanted me ta blow out ‘er last candle? It was her special day, not mine.

I opened my mouth ta protest, ta insist that she do it.

But then I closed it again, realizin’ that she’s never asked me ta do that before.

When Apple Bloom was but a seedlin’, she was selfish, always wantin’ more fer ‘erself. But then, I guess, every filly goes through that stage at some point in their life; complainin’ and wantin’ every last thing fer yer own use. Apple Bloom had always wanted ta open all the Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve presents, had always wanted ta eat the first slice o’ cake at ‘er birthday party.

An’ she’s always, always wanted ta blow out all the candles on ‘er birthday cake.

Maybe, just maybe, this was a sign that she was growin’ up. That she wanted ta share this special occasion with me because she wanted me ta have a wish too; because she wanted ta share the magic of ‘er birthday with ‘er big sister. Her selfishness was fadin’ away, bein’ replaced by the golden hue o’ compassion, o’ selflessness, shinin’ through in the littlest things, like askin’ ‘er big sister ta blow out one last candle.

“Are...are ya’ll sure?”

Apple Bloom looked up at me, her smile warm an’ sure, full of charity an’ kindness. “As sure as hot cocoa on Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve, big sis. Make sure it’s a darn good wish, a wish fer yerself, ‘cuz what’s the point o’ givin’ ya’ll this if you wish fer me?” she elbowed me jokin’ly, shovin’ me forward a littl’ bit.

My littl' Apple Bloom has finally blossomed.

Takin’ a deep breath, I trained all o’ my attention in the wish in my mind. As I blew, I imagined the wish bein’ absorbed by the wind, bein’ carried away to the clouds, to another land where wishes were as normal as the fer on my back.

I wish that someday, somehow, I will know the truth ‘bout everypony’s heart. I wish that I could understand what ponies want, what ponies need...

...I wish that I could understand what a draconequus needs.

Ponies cheered an’ clapped as the last candle flickered out, leavin’ nothin’ but a singed nub and the ashes of Apple Bloom and I’s wishes.

“Okay, everypony, soup’s on!” I called out, grabbin’ the cake cuttin’ knife as Cheerilee, who was sittin’ on Apple Bloom’s left, started ta pass paper plates down the table.

I bit my tongue as I sliced each slice, my hooves quickly gettin’ inta a continuous routine; cut, lift, put ‘em on the plate, cut, lift, put ‘em on the plate, cut, lift, put ‘em on the plate. My mind started ta wonder down the table, past Cheerilee, past Zecora, past Snips, past Snails...until it finally landed on Discord.

Cut, lift, put ‘em on the plate....

I am such a silly filly, havin’ a crush on Discord. He’s unpredictable, practically impossible ta know, an’ downright chaotic. For Celestia’s sake, he’s the spirit of chaos! He ain’t no Prince Charmin’, that’s fer sure...

Cut, lift, put ‘em on the plate....

But the way he speaks, the way he held me, the way his spirit is so free, so humorous...it makes my heart flutter. I ain’t no pegasus, but I’m pretty darn sure that whenever he looks at me, whenever he snaps those fingers o’ his, I fly.

Cut, lift, put ‘em on the plate....

Boy oh boy, was he a annoyin’ fly before the Elements o’ Harmony showed ‘im the light of friendship. I smiled as I remembered the soap roads, the dancin’ buffalos. I chuckled thoughtfuly ta myself as an image of a gray-colored me filled my mind, spewin’ lies like Pinkie Pie spewin’ words outta her mouth. Oh, Celestia, did he sure as hay trick me!

Cut, lift, put ‘em on the plate....

“Um, Applejack?” Apple Bloom asked, her worried and concerned tone buzzin’ at the back o’ my head like a mosquito.

I turned ta her, my eyebrow raised. She had obviously already taken the first bite, because her face was littered with cake crumbs and frostin’, an’ all the ponies ‘round us were pokin’ at their cake unsurely with their forks. “Huh? Whatsamatter?” Colnsarnit, I have been stared at like a circus pony too many times this week.

“You’re slicin’ empty air. There ain’t no more cake left.” Apple Bloom pointed ta the empty, silver servin’ tray, her lip stuck out, as I looked at my movin’ hoof, slicin’ cake that just ain’t there no more.

I flinched, wrinklin’ my nose. Whoops, I thought, gulpin’ an’ settin’ the knife down on the tray. “Sorry ‘bout that. Lost in my own head, I guess,” I chuckled awkwardly, givin’ my littl’ sister a false, affirming smile. Beads o’ sweat began ta form an army on my forehead as I backed away from the servin’ platter, turnin’ away from Apple Bloom ta scan fer an empty seat.

After lookin’ high an’ low, far an near, ta my sweet, sweet surprise, the only seat left was between the last two ponies I felt like talkin’ ta right now; Twilight an’ Discord.

I sighed internally as I pulled back the chair with my hooves.Just my luck, I thought, a ghost of a scowl linin’ my face as I sat down, I swear, it’s like the universe is out ta get me. I adjusted my tail out from under my hindquarters, then thrusted my chest forward ta push the chair back in.

I refused to look at either of the ponies on my sides as I picked up my fork, licked my lips, and jabbed it inta the cake that I had spent so much time preparin’ last night. There is no reason that I should talk ta them, I thought, takin’ a rather brutal bite o’ my cake, I am not in the mood ta speak with either of 'em righ’ now.

“So, Applejack...you...er...you never told us about your crush. What’s he like?” a delicate voice said ta my left. My muscles froze as I turned ta purple alicorn, who was eatin’ ‘er cake politely an’ neatly like she hadn’t said a thing in the world...but I definitely not imaginin’ it. Her words hung in the air, like frosted holiday lights, burnt out from use.

I blinked rapidly, clearin’ my stuffed mined ta find some space ta think. I could ignore ‘er, pretend like I hadn’t heard ‘er at all, but that would be really rude, considerin’ that the conversation ‘round us wasn’t that loud.

“Ooh, OOH! Yeah, Applejack, tell us about him!” My head snapped in the direction of the high-pitched voice that had spoken. Directly ‘cross the table from me, in between Rainbow Dash an’ Rarity, sat Pinkie Pie, her face holdin’ enough frostin’ ta frost a weddin’ cake. She was smilin’, her pupils dancin’ in ‘er eyes, like hearin’ ‘bout my crush was ‘er biggest dream.

“Ooh, yes, darling, do tell. I for one was left at a rather annoying cliffhanger when you said yes to the question.” O’ course. O’ course Rarity had ta join in. Gosh darnet, Twilight, I swear, you’re some kindof tickin’ bomb, ready ta blow my entire world ta smithereens!

“I would like to hear about him too, if that’s okay with you, of course,” said Fluttershy from the other side of Discord, ‘er voice hopeful, yet receptive.

It was so temptin’ ta slam my face in my cake.

I waited a second, ta see if Discord would add anythin’ clever ta the conversation-an’ knowin’ him, he probably would-but his hypnotizin’ voice never came. He could’ve been gone, judgin’ by his unusual silence, but I could feel the tension radiatin’ from ‘im, waftin’ in through my nose like the smell some kinda radioactive pie.

I looked down at my cake, jabbin’ my fork inta it and scoopin’ out ‘nother bite. If I was goin’ ta answer the questions they threw at me honestly, I would have ta think really carefully ‘bout how I worded ‘em. One word, an’ I might set our entire friendship on fire.

“Um, alright then.”

“So, what’s his personality?” Twilight inquired, her voice curious, yet not too personal. I could hear the distant scrapin’ o’ her fork as I thought ‘bout it, frownin’. Well, let’s see here...he’s chaotic, humorous, handsome, amazin’...an’ oh! I almost fergot. He’s Discord, the Lord of Chaos, an’ he’s sittin’ right here, at this very table!

“Um...he’s funny, and er...he likes doin’ things that are outta the ordinary,” I refused ta look anywhere else but my half-eaten piece of cake, keepin’ my eye level under my Stetson so nopony, even if they tried, could make eye contact with me.

“OOH, OOH! I like doing things out of the ordinary too! I like eating cupcakes with hot sauce, putting pickle juice on cherries, and doing stand-up comedy for Pound Cake and Pumpkin! Are those the kindof super-out-of-the-ordinary things that he does?” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, ‘er voice echoin’ in my mind like a voice carried ‘cross a wide mouth of a canyon.

“Um...actually, he likes doin’ much weirder things,” I admitted, my tone waverin’ slightly, “but yeah. He does do those kinds of things.” I shoved the remainder of my cake out towards the middle of the table, puttin’ an arm over my stomach. I wasn’t hungry anymore.

“THAT’S SUPER-WUPER-DUPER-LUPER! This stallion sounds like my kindof pony!”

“Mh-mm,” I nodded, pushin’ my hat up so I could look Pinkie in the eye, “he definitely is yer type, Pinkie Pie.”

The pink pony smiled, her face painted with newfound joy as she opened her mouth wide an’ swallowed the rest of her cake in one bite, chewin’ like she was suckin’ on a rock. Ah chuckled, a smile gracin’ my features without my permission.

“How did you meet him, Applejack? At the Gala, perhaps? Or does he live in Ponyville?” Rarity questioned as she elegantly levitated ‘er fork to ‘er mouth with a blue aura of magic. See, now that righ’ there was the question I was worried ‘bout. I sucked in air through my mouth as I weaved an’ answer, like a spider weavin’ ‘er web.

“Erm...he was sortof a pony I knew when we were all runnin’ ‘round, protectin’ Equestria with the Elements of Harmony. He was assigned ta do some royal business in Canterlot; go an’ capture an enemy, when he, er...sold some information out ta the enemy fer an offer. Then, when the enemy hurt him after they completed the deal, he apologized fer his actions and I grew ta love him. He lives in Ponyville.” I wished I could take all o’ the words back immediately as they’d come outta my mouth. Oh, boy, I wouldn’t get this passed them! There ain’t no way they wouldn’t know it was Discord after that heck of an explanation!

“Ooooh! That sounds so...romantic!” Rarity squealed, flutterin’ ‘er eyelashes an’ starin’ at the sky, lost in a world o’ diamonds and enchanted moonlit strolls.

I blinked twice.

They didn’t have an inklin’ ‘bout who I was talkin’ ‘bout.

Holy. Celestia.

“How serious are you about him?” Twilight asked lightly from my side, dabbin’ her face with a napkin. I wrinkled my muzzle, as if there were some irritatin’ fly that kept landin’ on it, stretchin’ an’ rubbin’ the disease that it had all over my face. “I mean, is it just a crush, or do you love him profoundly?”

I looked outta the corner o’ my eye to the side where Discord sat, unusually still an’ full o’ apprehension, his paw an’ claw clutched ‘round a fork an’ knife. He was fiercely starin’ at his uneaten cake like it had just punched him in the muzzle, his eyes never even blinkin’. Heck, I didn’t even see one muscle twitch as my eyes traveled up his neck ta his face.

There it was again.

That littl’, warm smile, an’ the tiniest paint stroke of pink, stretched ‘cross his cheeks like a nervous grin.

“I love ‘im. I love ‘im so much it darn hurts my heart.” And that was the cold, hard truth.

Twilight sniffled, the emotion in my words causin’ her dam o’ tears ta crack a littl’ bit. I turned ta look at ‘er, my face containin’ a small, meaningful smile.

Twilight’s eyes were shinin’ again, ‘er pupils havin’ a merry ballroom dance. They flickered back an’ forth between my two eyes, as if scannin’ me; as if confirmin’ my words were as gold an’ true as they sounded. Her hoof covered her heart as she stared at me, her breathin’ leisurely and delicate; like Granny Smith’s durin’ on o’ her afternoon naps.

The secret language o’ silence flowed between us as she searched my eyes, searched my soul, reached deep inta my heart ta examine the flourishin’ apple tree, lyin’ in its depths.

Then she blinked, an’ the conversation was over.

“That’s beautiful, Applejack,” Twilight gushed, her voice tremblin’ with the tears that lined the bottom o’ her crystalline eyes, “he sounds absolutely magnificent.” She tilted ‘er head an’ smiled at me, as if pushin’ me forward, as if finally movin’ me past the boulder that has been in my path for a while now.

“He really is, Twilight,” I grinned, lookin’ outta the corner o’ my eye at Discord, “he really is.”

I don’t think I’ve even seen a tamata as red as Discord’s face was in that moment.

He really, truly is.

Comments

[Alex Prior]

ye olde
d'aaaawwww...

[The Masked Mare]

4885016

I tried to make this chapter as adorable as possible.
Thank you dearly for reading.

[daniboyi]

Is Discord Jelly?

[Christs Disciple]

This has got to be one of the best things I've read so far today. And it will be hard for something to be better.

[The Masked Mare]

4885100
Oh, my story can't possibly be that good.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy the chapters to come.

[pahnazd]

Well Discord, you certainly know how to say the worst things in the worst times, don't you.

But this was another wonderful chapter, and so much d'aww in here

[RC2101_Copey]

Having never even conceived this idea, I have to say I am throroughly enjoying this.

Well done, and please keep this standard and pace up

[wzium]

My fav chapter so far. Keep up the good work!

[Assasin_Asha]

4884748
Ah, you are just creating opportunities for Discord to defend Apple Bloom. Got it.

[The Masked Mare]

4885376
DANGIT! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!
I'M ALREADY STARTED ON THE SEVENTH CHAPTER, THEN I SEE YOUR COMMENT AND I'M THINKING, 'OH MY CELESTIA, THAT IS GENIUS!'
I am an idiot, aren't I?

[Assasin_Asha]

4885393
Nah, you just have a different vision of the story. It's fine!
Also, I thought you already have a different outline which is why I added there. Just a small tease or something like that.
I wonder how much more of this fic will there be. Seems all drama is resolved the chapter it's introduced. I can't really try and predict anything.

[The Masked Mare]

4885536
Judging by the fact that I am REALLY REALLY enjoying writing this fic, because of all of the wonderful readers , the estimation I can give you for how long the fic will be is...
Forever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.
And Ever.

[Assasin_Asha]

4885576
That's like... fifteenever! That's so long!

[Wrangle Wolfe]

4885589 Actually, it' sixteenever, counting the first forever...

[Assasin_Asha]

4885956
Technically, that would be nineteenever, since forever has four of them.

[The Masked Mare]

4886012

THAT WAS GREAT!

[Flagstar of Flagclan]

This is too good! I'm so afraid of how many chapters I'll miss this weekend! I never know when they come out. I'll have so much to catch up on between all the stories I'm writing!

[thatguy45]

he knowsssssssss!

[PlumBuckeredOut]

4879796 I can totally understand you in a writer's mentality.

Thank you for looking out for me!

Sure thing!
Keep up the Great work!

[Blue Spark]

This chapter was DEEP.

[Peaceofpie]

BEST STORY EVER! mmmmmmMMMMmmmmooooOOOOOOOOoooooOaaaaaaaAAAaaaAAAAAArRRRRRrrRrRRrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RoyalBlueGlitter12]

I fking love this story
But, I feel so bad for poor Twi