A Frightening Beginning
A purple alicorn tossed and turned on her bed in her castle, writhing under her sheets as her face contorted into an expression that meant fear, or in this case, a nightmare beyond anything she had ever dreamed of before.
"Who are you? What do you want with me?" The alicorn shouted out in the dreamscape.
"It's too late, you pathetic worm; I've destroyed those pathetic friends of yours, that infernal Celestia for what she has done to me, and the other princesses for aiding her; you're all that's left." A voice said with maniacal laughter following its words." You will endure suffering greater than what you've already experienced," The entity continued with a booming force in its voice, with only dark blue glowing eyes staring back at Twilight sparkle.
"No! I won't let you take anything that I hold dear!" Twilight shouted defiantly at the entity, who continued to stare at her with its cold, slitted, blue eyes and a maw with sharp teeth had materialized below the blue orbs, grinning evily.
"I've already told you it's too late, you pathetic weakling. I will reduce the rest of your world to rubble and there is nothing you can do that could possibly stop me! The strong must reign over the weak, and I am here to assume the role of the superior being in this eternal struggle." After that statement, the entity opened its mouth and began to close it around twilight.
The next thing Twilight knew, she yelped and sat wide awake in her bed, breathing hard and sweating with her pajamas soaked in sweat. Her ears flicked up as she heard claws clacking against the crystalline floor of the castle before her bedroom door burst open a few seconds later, with a purple dragon, who had wings and green spines, coming in. He was wearing a green tank top, with slits in the back for his wings, and a pair of blue pajama bottoms; the drake looked deeply concerned as he gazed upon the sweat-soaked form of his friend.
"Twi, are you ok?" he asked in a concerned voice, walking over towards her.
"I just had a terrible nightmare." Twilight said while starting to sniffle. "I-It all seemed so real! Y-you weren't there, n-n-neither were the girls; all I could see was darkness, and th-this creature kept te-telling me Equestria is doomed and I'm too late to save it." She cried with tears flowing down her cheeks.
"Shh... ,Twi, it's ok, what ever was in your nightmare, I'm sure luna would've seen it; you can probably talk to her tomorrow and see if it what it meant, does that sound ok?" He asked in his caring voice while she was still sobbing. Spike then pulled her into an embrace, with his arms and wings wrapped around her shaking form.
"I guess you're right, Spike, if anypony can tell me what this nightmare meant, it's Luna; she is the Princess of the Night, after all." Twi said while she was starting to regress from light snobs back to the occasional sniffle.
"There you go,Twi," spike said smiling, while still using his caring tone.
"Even after these last few years, you're still the best assistant anypony can have; even if it's just me or the girls, we're all lucky to have you, even though you botch some things every now and again." The purple alicorn said after returning the hug.
Spike just let out a playful sigh and said, "Twi, we've been through the thick and thin together you, me, and the girls. And even though I'm bigger than I used to be, being here reminds me my life is in the hands of the Princess of Friendship herself, as well as the other Elements of Harmony. And, given all we've faced, it's no wonder why you're one of the best ponies in Equestrian history. It's all because you've done so much for Equestria and we've been more than happy to be able to help you face it; Nightmare Moon, Discord, The changelings, King Sombra, and all of the other evils we've faced over the years, you've been through it with ponies that care about you, and nothing will change that."
"Here I am, thinking Zecora, Princess Celestia, Luna, or Cadance are the only ones I can talk to when situations like this come up, but I still have you or our friends to help guide me." She said, feeling more at ease.
Spike recieved a playful punch in the shoulder stated, "I'm just glad I could help. But as for now ,Twi, you should go back to sleep. You never know what surprises tomorrow will hold; so I'll see ya in the mornin', good night," he said as he broke the embrace with Twilight and started to scoot off of her bed only to feel a hand on his back.
"Actually," said Twilight. "Would you mind staying in here with me tonight? It would help me, if that's okay with you."
"Sure thing, Twi," the dragon said while smiling. He then went over to the sofa in Twilights bedroom, laid down on it, and went to sleep with Twilight following soon after.
In another dimension.
Two titanic beings were fighting on a deserted planet, one trying to gain the advantage over the other. One of these beings, a cosmic warrior known as Ultraman Zero, who hailed from Nebula M78, was fighting the robotic kaiju known as King Joe, who originated on a planet with an advanced alien civilization easily capable of creating more of the robot menace should that robot be destroyed. Both titans charged towards each other and when they made physical contact, Zero managed to push King Joe back and used an energy attack that he learned from his father, the Zero wide shot, by sticking his right arm out and jutting it up at the elbow with and sticking his left arm out and bending it to the side under his right elbow, with a blast of powerful energy being emitted from this position, and scored a direct hit, destroying the mechanical menace, for now.
Zero's appearance seemed to resemble a full suit of bizarre body armor. His head looked as though it were a mask, with a back, covering his face with two glowing yellow orbs, in place of normal sentient eyes, a green glowing light on his forehead, that, in actuality, is a crystal that can be used to fire energy beams, two crests on the top of his head that could be detached and used as weapons or part of an energy attack, two small stubs that jutted out of the sides of his head where his ears would normally be located, and for his mouth, it was just an indentation for lips where his mouth would normally go, it couldn't move, but he could still speak. The top of the armor like appearance was adorned with plating on the shoulders and upper chest surrounding a blue light in the middle of his chest, this light was a timer that is powered by solar energy, and is something that many ultras have been confirmed to have adorned, and would begin to blink red and emit a beeping sound if the timer was in that stage, only giving that ultra mere moments to battle before having to acquire more energy. The rest of Zero's appearance was a simple light suit with a mix of red and blue coloration with silver markings adorning his lower torso,upper legs and chest, and the base of his neck.
"Father, I've handled this latest model of King Joe. I will scout around a tad more and alert you if there are anymore threats," Zero said while making use of his telepathy.
"Zero, my son, you prove yourself more of an ultra warrior with each passing day, and even if I've had my time in the light, I'm still as proud of you as any parent that has witnessed their children performing other remarkable feats." A voice said. "You musn't forget as long as you never give up and be brave in the face of danger, you will always prevail. Many ultras, including myself, have benefited in battle from this wisdom and take it to heart when we find ourselves at our lowest point. You must also not forget that you may be a young ultra at only 5,900 years old, but you fight as though you are ultra father." With that being said, Ultraman zero just chuckled slightly, and took off, flying through the vacuum of space, searching for any more potential threats.
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Does the term "run-on sentence" mean anything to you?
This story reminds me of a time when fanfiction was never about quality. You need an editor........badly.
There's the makings of a good Kaiju story in this, but there's so many basic errors with it that cause it to fall short. Try getting an editor, or at least throwing this through spell and grammar check on word a couple of times.
4913672
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Well thanks for the input from you guys and I'll get an editor now that you mention it.
Raise the quality of the writing to the quality of the cover art, and you'll have a winner.
4913498 Run on sentences? Are they like a treadmill?
4913672 Throw it through the grammar checker like a carcass through a wood chipper.
4914382 the art was used with permission from Warren Hutch
4914101 Thanks for the advice I'm gonna look for an editor god willing I find one if I can't I'll make the Improvements.
Interesting! This isn't my usual cup of tea but I'm certainly intrigued to see where things go. Twilight's panic attack is certainly believable and relatable (I've had my fair share of nightmares!) and I enjoyed the interaction between Twilight and Spike. I don't fully have a grasp on the passage of time aside from Spike being "pretty much full grown," but I like the idea of him remaining her faithful friend and loyal assistant throughout the years.
A great way to improve your writing is just to keep writing, so don't let things get you down and cause you to stop moving forward. Like most things, no one starts off as a master at their chosen craft. I don't think I'm a great writer myself, but boy howdy, if you could have read the crap I scribbled down when I was a kid... Man, that was some truly terrible work.
Just keep going and don't slow down to let the negative feedback stop you. You can always go back and spruce things up as you learn more.
5420281 Thanks and I should have the second chapter out within the next day or so.
Are you going to post this on the 'Gamera/Ultraman' folder of 'Godzilla Has Return' Group?
5810950 I failed to notice they had that, and I'm gonna do some major revisions.
5811808 You could used what you have, you just need to improve what you had. You don't have to change that much.
5812588 I would just need an editor, I have a few people I can turn to for editing, and I gotta start getting on track for this story.
when is are going to be a new chapter?
6417215 I'm making some changes to the second chapter, and I'll post it soon, I promise.
6417217 ok, so is Ultraman Zero really going to MLP universe to save it from this new evil?
6417225 I've also been pretty distracted over this last year, and I've got some really awesome layouts planned for each chapter. Don't worry, I won't leave you hanging.
6417237 ok, let me know when it ready.
6417262 Okie doke.
6417303 are you going to put the next chapter now?
6418727 Still waiting on that editor.
6419297 ok