Everypony's Favorite Uncle
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Everypony’s Favorite Uncle
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Alex yawned loudly, being torn from his slumber by the rising sun shining in his eyes. He wanted to teleport himself right up to Canterlot and yell at Celestia to keep it down for a few more hours, so he could get some more sleep.
But, with the painful brightness on his face didn’t go anywhere. So, rolling over and escaping it’s grasp, Alex opened his eyes, to the high definition that was his world.
“Oh right…” He mumbled, remembering coming home, and then studying for his exams… what else had happened? Anything notable? Nope. Nothing he could think of.
Perhaps he should have wondered why he was in the guest bedroom, or who was sleeping in his bed. Or even if he had seen several naked girls recently.
But, he simply didn’t.
Closing his now shadowed eyes, Alex drifted back in to the peaceful world of slumber, leaving earth, and all of its problems behind for a few more hours.
His pain was still completely centered on Dash. And nothing made him forget about the terrible times, like dreaming of the good ones.
////
A few more hours had passed, and Alex was awoken to the sound of clattering below him. Someone was in his house!
“Ah’ reckon he’ll love it!” An extremely familiar voice said from below.
The girls! From Equestria!
Alex had completely forgotten about the five girls that had teleported across dimensions to follow him home. They were all now downstairs, probably bringing about the end of the world as he knew it... But, they were pretty smart, as far as ponies went. So… maybe he could get just a little more shut eye, and they could take care of themselves.
The doorbell rang.
“Oh, I’ll get it.” Rarity said politely, as the sound of a chair dragging across the floor was heard, and then followed by something that sounded like a person tripping over their inexperienced legs, “Oh, this dress was simply a terrible idea for mobility.”
Alex wondered who would be at the door at the tender hour of seven-thirty in the morning on a Monday. But, again, those girls were smart. They could take care of this person, just as they would take care of any annoying neighbor in Ponyville.
“Hello?” Rarity asked, after opening the door.
“Howdy,” A confident, and very smug sounding voice said from the door, “Name’s Chet. I’m Alex’s uncle.”
“My goodness!” Rarity said, he voice quite elated, “It’s a pleasure to meet you! You simply must come in!”
Alex scowled. What was that son-of-a-bitch doing here? Sticking his nose where it didn’t belong! That’s what!
“Where is Alex? I need to speak with him a bit,” Chet said, his voice quiet, as he examined the talent Alex had brought home with him.
“Up in his bedroom,” Fluttershy said.
“Thanks!” Chet said, as he was heard walking up the staircase, before turning for a moment “Uh… Did Alex let you wear that clothing?”
“It’s Alex’s moms,” Twilight explained, “We were naked, and had nothing to wear.”
“Got it,” Chet smirked.
Alex could just picture the look on his face. His smirk was almost audible. He couldn’t wait for Chet to come to his room so he could give him shit for barging in like this.
But… Alex wasn’t in his room. He had let Pinkie sleep in there.
“Shit!” Alex said, rolling off the bed, and thudding on to the floor.
He tried to get his pants on as quickly as possible, but was too late, as Chet opened Alex’s bedroom door.
“Alex?” Chet’s voice called in to the room across the hall.
“Hey!” Pinkie responded, sitting up from the bed, wearing nothing, and only being covered by the blanket, “Who are you?”
“I’m Alex’s uncle! And I’m looking for--” Chet began slowly, before Alex busted out of the quest room.
“I’m here! I was letting her sleep in my room because we were together last night and—“ Alex stammered, before backing up, “I mean, I was comforting her! And then—“
“I’ve ‘comforted’ plenty of girls in my time, Alex,” Chet smiled, winking.
“He sure did comfort me!” Pinkie beamed, “It didn’t take too long though.”
“He’s only a man,” Chet said, knowing that Alex did nothing, but was still playing it up to annoy him, “Lasting long doesn’t run in the family.”
“Shut it!” Alex shouted, was a single crack in his voice, “Downstairs!”
“Oh, yes ma’am,” Chet said, throwing his hands in the air, as if surrendering, “You’re the lady of the house, after all!”
Alex huffed, as Chet walked back down stairs.
“Sorry about, that,” Alex said, before taking off after his uncle.
Pinkie could only giggle to herself. She could see where Alex got his attitude from. His uncle acted so much like him. It was cute, finally seeing him be embarrassed by those kinds of actions.
“Breakfast is ready, Pinkie!” Twilight called from down the stairs.
Looking at the clothing she had discarded last night, she wondered if putting them on was the right thing to do. Yeah… Yeah. Wait. No? No! That’s right. No! Naked was just fine.
“Pinkie, don’t forget to get dressed!” Alex called, knowing the girl too well.
“Aww…” She needed to learn the rules of this place.
////
Sitting down at the table, Alex and Chet were served breakfast by the girls.
It was something that truly terrified Alex. Was he going to die along with Chet after eating today?
“So,” Chet said, placing his hands together, “Where did you all meet?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Alex said instantly, “Why did you stop by?”
“Well…” Chet began, letting it pass for now, “I wanted to know how well your studying has gone. Are you ready for the exams?”
“Yeah, I think so,” Alex nodded, smiling, truly confident in his abilities, “I’m surprised how much I remembered.”
“You have all the equations memorized and everything, right?” Chet asked, “Because you start in a just a little over an hour.”
“Seriously?!” Alex said, pulling his phone out of his pocket, and, sure enough, the reminder was there.
“I thought it was way later today!” Alex stammered, “We need to go!”
“Well, we can eat.” Chet said, looking at the strange color of oatmeal they had been served, as he wrinkled his nose and looked to Alex.
Alex only shook his head slowly, giving a scared look toward his own plate.
“Say, sweet heart,” Chet said to Twilight, “What is this?”
“Toast!” She smiled, sounding a little too much like Sweetie Belle in her tone.
“I told her she shouldn’t cook in this world,” Rarity said, “it comes out worse than my sisters cooking.”
“Hey!” Twilight said, before looking at the toast she had made, and frowned, “Well… I do better as a pony.”
“Where did you guys say you met again?” Chet asked, as confusion riddled his face at their strange conversation and food preparation.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” Alex deflected instantly, “Just… I’m just not hungry.”
Chet shook his head at the avoidance, but had to agree with Alex on getting away from the food.
“We had better go, now that I think about it.” He said nervously, backing away from the table, “Alex?”
“Right behind you, Chet,” Alex nodded, standing up and joining him, as they awkwardly, and silently, slid to the door.
“How long’ll you two be?” Applejack asked, “Because we have somewhere to be.”
“Is it that soon?” Alex asked incredulously, “I mean… Didn’t you say ‘next week’?”
“Well… it was three days from now,” Twilight said, scratching her head, “We’ve been here about twelve hours. So, that times four is two days.”
“But it’s at noon,” Applejack pointed out, “So, that adds one more hour?”
“But we still need to take the train to Manehattan,” Twilight explained, “That’s a few hours itself. So… We need to leave in maximum, five hours.”
“I need some help on what you guys are talking about here,” Chet said, curious as to why they were talking about two amounts of time to the same event.
“It’s tough to explain,” Alex said, putting on his jacket, “Don’t worry about it.”
That was the last time he would be hearing those words from Alex. Chet was going to get to the bottom of this mystery.
“Are you girls coming?” Chet asked, grinning inwardly.
“We sure are!” Pinkie called from the top of the stairs, as she expertly ran down them, eliciting jealously from her friends, “I wanna see more of this world!”
“B-but…” Alex whined, as he made eye contact with the bubbly pony-person, and knew that he stood no chance, “Ugh. Fine.”
“Yay!” She shouted, grabbing the glass of toast of the table and downed it in a single gulp, and then following it with a strangely happy statement, “Wowie! That was the worst thing I’ve ever tasted!”
“Just grab some shoes from the closet there,” Alex pointed, to the sliding mirrors next to the door, “My mom had a lot of pairs you can use. We’ll have to take two cars though…”
“Don’t worry,” Chet shook his head, “I can fit you all in to the van.”
“Van?” Alex asked, never remembering Chet to be a van driver.
“Well, really, it’s a mini-van.” Chet explained, “It’s telling of my soul.”
Alex scoffed at the bullshit comment his uncle had made, “And what does it tell you about your soul?”
“Well, think about it.” Chet said, “What do you say about a guy who drives a hummer, or a motorcycle that makes way too much noise?”
“Uhh…” Alex said, scratching his chin.
“He has a tiny…?” Chet began, raising his eyebrows.
“Penis?” Alex asked, his eyes shifting uncomfortably at the crazy conversation he was having.
“Exactly!” Chet said, nodded, “So, by that logic, what’s the opposite of a big, obnoxious hummer?”
“A… fuel economic mini-van?” Alex asked, figuring that was the answer Chet wanted.
“Bingo!” Chet nodded, “So, if hummers equal small penises, what do mini-vans equal?”
“Big penises!” Pinkie interjected, as Alex clamped his eyes closed.
“Just right, dear,” Chet smiled, smirking to Alex, “I like your friends.”
“I don’t even know that I like them,” Alex said, finally cracking a smile at Pinkie’s attitude.
“Hey!” The five girls said at once.
“You sure have it tough, kid.” Chet laughed, walking out the door, “I’ll get the van over here.”
“You two are so much alike!” Twilight laughed, as she finally managed to get her second lace up boot on, “He’s just like you!”
“It’s quite nice to see a little more of you,” Rarity smiled, wearing a pair of slip-ons, to compensate for her easy to trip in dress, “It’s… telling of your soul.”
They all burst in to laughter at the throwback.
“He reminds me of Dax,” Fluttershy said.
“Hey, yeah!” Applejack agreed, “That’re annoyin’ the same way!”
“Applejack!” Rarity hushed, as Alex laughed.
“That’s the best description I’ve ever heard of him,” Alex laughed, happy that they were comfortable enough to make fun of his uncle so quickly.
”Chet’s awesome! I love that guy!”
Alex just shook his head, as the badass sound of a mini-van pulling up to his house was heard.
“Remember guys,” Alex said quickly, “Try to keep Equestria talk to a minimum. Especially when I’m in that test!”
“What are we supposed to say then?” Twilight asked.
“Just fake it! It’s easy!”
“What’s a mini-van?” Pinkie asked instantly.
“What’s a hummer?” Twilight asked.
“Are they carriages?” Rarity asked, looking out the door at the vehicle rolling over to them.
“How in tarnation does that thing move?!” Applejack said walking a step out the door and gawking at the big red vehicle.
“Oh no…”
“Come on you guys! Alex has a diploma to get!” Chet called from his vehicle.
“Ladies first,” Alex gulped, as they all carefully, but better than before, walked out on to the driveway, then stopped at the door, which for some reason wasn’t just opening for them.
“Oh,” Alex said quickly, running past them and sliding the door open, “Let me help you guys in.”
Jumping inside, he took each of their hands and helped them inside, and to their seats, buckling each of them as he went.
“Alright!” He said finally, jumping to the front seat and fastening his own seat belt, “Test time!”
Chet had thought the odd attitude of the girls was cute at first, but it genuinely looked like they had trouble doing basic movements, like opening a car, stepping up in to them, and buckling themselves in. What was he missing here?
As they started traveling, Alex looked back at the distressed faces they were making the movements the van was making, stopping, and starting, and speeding up, then stopping… It was probably just a little too different from a train for them.
Giving them a hopeful look, they all took it to mean that he needed them to stick it out.
So they did.
The drove in silence for a few more minutes before something started to bother Alex. Something his uncle had told him made no sense. And, the more and more he thought about it, the more it bugged him.
“Chet,” Alex finally said, as his uncle briefly looked at him before looking back to the road, “How the hell is a big penis because of a mini-van telling of your soul?”
////
“Good luck Alex!” They all called, as Alex stepped out of the van and turned around.
“Where are you guys going?” Alex asked, hoping that the girls would be able to fool Chet in to thinking that they were perfectly normal humans.
“Just to the diner,” Chet gestured with his head, “We can kill a few hours talking, I’m sure.”
The tone on his final words gave Alex pause. But, before he could say anything, Chet pulled away.
Alex just grumbled to himself, as he turned around and headed for the school. He wished he was going with them. All of the excitement was with them. Not in some stupid test. Besides. He knew that Chet was going to bombard them with questions… whatever. They could make it up. Here was sure.
////
“So, girls!” Chet said, as they all took their seats at a large circular table, “Tell me how you all met Alex!”
“He saved our lives!” Pinkie spoke out, before putting her hands over her mouth.
“Pinkie!” Rarity hushed once again.
Oh yes. This was going to be a fun conversation.
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God damn it Pinkie.
You fuck up everything.
AhahhaHHAHAHAAAAA Pinkie with the getting dressed scene was hysterical!!!
i don't know how but i think that if chet finds out about equestria and then alex tells what happened between him and rainbow chet will tell alex a story or something and alex will get back together with rainobw (i hope i am right
)
Looks like Chet,
<sunglasses>
Is going to be horsing around.
....
4910183 WOAH! Yellow flag for bad pun! You have two more buster.
4910226 Come on mate, don't be a neigh-sayer. Tell you what, we'll run any more pasture self before things get out of hoof. We don't want to stirrup any bad emotions.
4910369
Cough.
Cough.
Sorry, just,
<sunglasses>
A little horse.
Not going to lie, I don't think Alex should go back till "the event"
Despite what happened, its feels weird not having Dash around with Alex and the rest of the mane six. It sucks that everyone hates her now because I really miss her interactions with Alex. The story just doesn't feel the same... Not that its bad, its really good, but doesn't feel the same
FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITHTHE DAMN STORY!
And it saddens me...
Only one thing to do...
BRING OUT THE MARIACHI BAND!
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tXvIIsPZh1w]
4911572 Agreed, it's still good but it's missing the interactions and base that made it special.
I'm still gonna read it, but I just hope it all gets sorted because I wont enjoy it as much as I used to if it doesn't.
Oh boy. This is going to get even crazier. Good luck writing the next story.
4912363
I know, right? This story has gone to shit with his plot changes.
4912642
I'll kick your ass buddy! I'm trying my best here, and you're really hurting my feelings!
4912644
Okay, fine. I'm sorry.
I could never fight someone so good-looking and positively built.
4912647 Wat.
Did you just...wha...I just...
WHAT DID I JUST READ, BRO?
4912647 I didn't mean any offense, and I don't mind plot changes.
But this story was one of the first things that got me into the fandom in the first place and I'm always going to read it and love it no matter what, It's just that I loved Alex and Dashes antics and quirky fun.
Really though I meant no offense, this story is still one of the highest quality HIE's on the site. I apologize if I did offend you.
4912916
Don't worry man. I was just joking, as my other comments say after that. I understand your comments completely.
4912937 Ah okay haha, I'm not a good detector of Sarcasm XD
4912946
Sorry about the confusion. I don't wanna make people feel bad. Ever!
It's because my Canadian blood makes me so sweet.
(My blood is maple syrup)
I don't see any single way how anything can go wrong with Chet and the girls alone.
Nope, no reason at all!
troll.me/images2/you-know-what-really-grinds-my-gearsd/you-know-what-really-grinds-my-gears-thumb.jpg
Alex does, the little bitch...
I swear if I could ever get my hands on him, I'd knock his magical block off.
This story is starting to remind me of one of my favorite manga, "Good Ending." It's at the point where your just like, "Why the BUCK! did they destroy the primary relationship 3/4 of the way through the story! It's not like they're just gonna stop loving each other and move on! And the whole trying to be friends thing is just bullshit, it wouldn't work out that way anyway! It would just hurt even more and become awkward! But anyways there is a reason why the story's title was 'Good Ending.'"
This can only end awesomely.
So, how will the girls avoid spilling the beans to Chet?
well, someone has to know why they're covering for a guy that disappears for years at a time after all...